


Bokeh

by Smritz



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: (literally), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Light Is Not Kira, Alternate Universe - No Death Note, Amnesia, Anarchy, Angst and Humor, Angst and Romance, Beyond Birthday is his own warning, Eventual L/Yagami Light, Eventual Relationships, Everyone Is Gay, Fist Fights, Fluff and Angst, Fugitives, Government Experimentation, Kidnapping, M/M, Memory Loss, Mental Institutions, One-Sided Amane Misa/Yagami Light, Rescue Missions, Social Issues, except Misa, go wrong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-06-10 18:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 98,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15297102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smritz/pseuds/Smritz
Summary: It's a strange world Light Yagami lives in.Relegated to the position of being the fiancé of Mikami Teru, Light has a life of limited power and unlimited luxury. And he's used to it now, he's accepted his place. Everything is fine...until a man with crazy black hair bursts into his house and tells him his whole life is a lie.AKA Romeo and Juliet, if the very unwilling Juliet became an amnesiac because of her crazy fiancé (no, I have no clue how I thought this up either)





	1. The Party

“Over here, Yagami-san! I picked up the drinks!”

“Yagami-san! We need approval on the curtains!”

“When are you getting dressed, Raito? The guests will be here any minute!”

To say that Light Yagami was sick of his life was an understatement. He was sure plenty of people would gladly lynch him for daring to make that kind of a statement (which was why he had resigned it to the depths of his mind) but goddamn was he sick of this. People were dying, in this world. Hoards and hoards of people were being executed, living in poverty, being ravaged by criminals and savages…and here he was, getting ready for a party.

He wished he could actually help the suffering poor (and they really did need the help), but he couldn’t, could he? And that was the rub of it: he was so close to it, so close to the power, but he could never truly have it because of who he was. A trophy, that was all he was.

Maybe fifty years ago he could have been an actual person of influence, but ever since the worker revolutions, the entire social structure had toppled, and the part of the nobility Light belonged to had been given the short end of the stick in their effort to keep their riches and influence.

The Nobleman’s Treaty that had finally stopped the revolution contained several clauses, some of which included: 1.  the elimination of the anarchist groups, 2. the redistribution of wealth from the lower lords to the peasants, and 3. the adulteration of the bloodlines of higher nobles by forcing one member of the family to mate with members of the lower classes.

For some reason, the treaty had been very detailed on how the impurification of the noble bloodlines would be done. They had sectioned off half of the nobility into two sects, some of whom would marry peasant women and others who would marry men. If two members of the same sex were married together, they either adopted from the constant stream of war-orphans or got surrogate mothers.

Light had gone to school with the other half of the nobles, the ones left intact (according to the history textbooks, the nobles had done everything but beg on their knees to spare half of the noble houses. How else would they continue their bloodlines?).

His parents hadn’t even told him their family was one of the sectioned until his sixteenth year, when they had cornered him in the living room with a book of lower-class suitors begging for his hand. Sayu was their Bloodline child, she would be married into a noble family to keep their line going. Light was their unwilling sacrifice for the greater good. And the worst part was, he had never for a minute of his life considered that this could be an option. He would never be able to sit at councils, craft up laws, debate with his equals. All of that was reserved for his future husband, all he could ever be was _rich_. A wealthy, attractive, well-mannered prize.

 _Fuck_ that. He was smart, it was most of who he was. Smart, ambitious, meticulous. Were they telling him that was all a waste?

Light had always assumed he would end up running away. It was just the kind of thing he would do. If he was denied freedom, he would go seek it. And if his arranged fiancé had been a dominating freak as most of them were (inferiority complexes acting up), it would only have strengthened his resolve.

Luckily, though, he hadn’t had to.

Dr. Mikami Teru. Charming, disciplined and one of Shingata’s best criminal neurosurgeons. Light hadn’t had high hopes about his future fiancé in the beginning, especially with that borderline insane light in his eyes, but from the first minute he heard him speak Light had realised how damn lucky he was. Mikami was respectful, kind, knowledgeable (if not particularly insightful), and he made such an effort to get the brunet to like him that it was almost endearing. He was attractive enough to match the family, and best of all, he could tell the dark-haired man knew how much more intelligent than him Light was. That in itself was a blessing, it meant Mikami actually listened to what he had to say.

So the man was a little controlling. Everyone had their flaws. Like Light’s neuroticism and arrogance, it was a little annoying, but it most certainly didn’t spell the death of a relationship.

 _“Raito!”_ Light looked up to see his dark-haired fiancé at the top of the stairs, standing in a pressed black suit with a bright red bowtie at his collar, the glasses on his nose glinting white. “You can’t stand around in your pyjamas as the guests come! Come up and change!”

The boy glanced down at his clothes. Formal trousers and a button-up shirt, they could hardly count as pyjamas, but it was really no use arguing with Mikami about things like this. The good doctor would just bring up his notion that Light was a rebellious teenager and then everything would become unpleasant.

He huffed, trudging up the stairs. He passed Mikami’s tall, strict figure without a word of acknowledgement, but felt a hand grab hold of his wrist tightly. “Where do you think you’re going?”

The teenager glimpsed at his fiancé over his shoulder, feeling a knot of irritation in his stomach. “I’m…going to change. Like you told me to.”

For a second, he thought he saw Mikami’s expression change from its default intensity to something stranger. A fearful frown appeared on the older man’s face, making his smile seem eerie.

“Not inviting me?”

Light raised his eyebrows, taken aback. “I thought the guests were coming? Aren’t you busy?”

For some reason, relief splashed over the doctor’s face like a bucket of cold water. “I’m never too busy for you, beautiful.” His hands traced down Light’s torso, stopping at his waist, where he gripped him tightly and pulled him flush to himself. Light gulped as the man held him tight, breathing down his neck. “All you need to do is ask, and I’ll do anything for you.”

Light laughed against the older man’s chest. “Okay, Mikami, I get your point, but we don’t have time for anything right now.”

“Believe me, Raito, if you ask, I’ll-”

“Do anything for me, I get it.” Light chuckled, placing his hands firmly on Mikami’s chest and pushing off of him. “Maybe after the party, okay?”

“If you say so.” The doctor grinned toothily. “I guess I have to keep my head today anyway. Important deals to be made, I can’t afford to go in after a shot of Yagami Raito.”

“You got that right.” Light made a gun with his fingers and pulled the trigger, giving him a teasing grin as he sauntered into the dressing room. He enjoyed the laugh that echoed in the hallway behind him as he shut the door. Mikami didn’t smile enough, and this was _Light_ saying that.

Mikami’s father had said, back during the courting stage before the engagement, that his seriousness was probably due to his mother’s death, but Light suspected it went deeper than that. The doctor always acted like he hated people from the bottom of his heart, and that extended to _everyone_. His own father, _Light’s_ father, sometimes Light’s _mother_ , his colleagues at court and on the estate, his childhood friends…

The only exception to this was Light himself. He was the only one he had seen Mikami make actual sacrifices for, the only one he appeared to _want_ to care for, and Light-Paranoid-Yagami would have labelled this as an act or a scheme if it wasn’t for the longing he saw in Mikami’s eyes when he thought he wasn’t looking.

It didn’t come as a surprise, the brunet had always been good at charming people to his side, but that didn’t mean it didn’t flatter him.

* * *

His back hurt from bowing so much, but Yagami Raito, the perfect mate, would never let that show. After all, it wasn’t many mates who were allowed to participate in serious discussions as Mikami was letting him right now, it wasn’t common to allow them to attend these political gatherings at all. You’d think with all the effort noble parents put into giving their child an education, the treaty would let them have a slight edge over their lower-class mates in this sphere, at least.

Hmm. Now that he thought about it, this was probably the reason his father had never allowed him to take up any extra courses, no matter how brilliant he was. He was always encouraged to pursue extracurricular activities like tennis, not so much the intricacies of history or law.

And now that he thought about it, his father was a class A bastard. Who the fuck hid something like this from their children for so many years? (And how had Light not figured it out himself? His mother was an educated, brilliant woman of her own right, resigned to a position as a housewife very much against her will. It should have been _obvious)._

Light bowed deeply to another diplomat from England, Mr. James, ripe for making a deal to send peacekeeping forces to assist with Shingata’s recovery from civil war. It was of utmost importance that these political leaders got a good impression of Mikami and the nobles as a whole. Mikami had become quite the leader within the community, having gotten engaged to the prominent Yagami family and making his name within his profession. It was no wonder the government was having them host the party, they were pretty much the poster children for the Nobleman’s Treaty working out.

Mikami grabbed Light’s arm suddenly, startling him out of his thoughts. The brunet bit his lip, realising he had zoned out completely. His fiancé only ever resorted to manhandling him when his inferiority complex was acting up, as if having Light by his side automatically validated him.

“Which is why, I think, it would be a bad idea to put up so many of our soldiers in Shingata. It compromises us. You understand my point, don’t you, Mikami-sensei?”

The doctor flushed red, his glasses flashing as he struggled to think of a polite way to respond to that. “Well, _I_ think-”

No, bad idea. Mikami had never been one to mince words when trying to prove himself right. Light turned up the wattage of his smile, stepping slightly forward. The diplomat was much larger than him, with cropped blond hair and bulging muscles. His masculinity only worked to Light’s advantage, Light was a naturally androgynous person, making him a much less threatening and so less offensive figure.

“With all due respect, Mr. James, this deal actually works out much to your advantage, especially if you choose to haggle some of the details.” Light smiled charmingly. Intrigued, James raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Pray tell me, how would England directly benefit from sending so many soldiers to help murder a bunch of anarchists?”

He pretended to think for a minute. “Well, we don’t have many resources at the minute, thanks to the anarchists, of course, but one thing we do have, it’s technology. We all know that. Our technology is miles ahead of most other countries. I believe Teru supervised the invention of some revolutionary neurosurgical machinery about a year ago, he would be an expert on this.” The brunet manoeuvred the conversation back to Mikami in an effort to get him involved like a good mate should, but the Englishman hardly batted an eye at the black-haired man.

“Interesting. We hadn’t considered your capacity to contribute in anything but training and manpower before this, but you are right. The most valuable thing about Shingata at the minute has nothing to do with any of that.”

Light nodded politely. “Exactly. Which is why we have a lot to offer you in exchange for your valuable assistance.”

Mr. James’s eyebrows furrowed as his ice-blue eyes swept up and down Light’s slender form. “You have good points, Yagami Raito. A new perspective.” A smile curled his thin lips. “I shall consider the deal once more, in that case, if only to haggle the details, as you so aptly put it.”

“I’m glad.” Light bowed his head and stepped back slightly behind Mikami, making the diplomat laugh.

“How very formal you are! We’re allies here, no need to be so polite with us. Come here.” The man reached out and took Light’s hand in his, squeezing it tightly. “This is how we celebrate a partnership. A handshake. Not that you should be celebrating yet, but what the hell. With interesting people like you representing it, Shingata and England will be united in no time.”

Light bit his lip, giving him a sheepish smile. “I’m flattered, sir, but I’m not a representative of anything. My fiancé, Dr. Mikami, though-”

“Bollocks.” The Englishman laughed. “You’re ten times more competent than your fiancé is. The amount of time he took to get to the point… No offense, young man, but your country should really rethink their policies.”

Light glanced up at Mikami, a chill running down his spine. If the diplomat kept talking like this, the brunet would probably never be allowed to a formal gathering ever again. He would be a cooped-up trophy like every other nobleman under the treaty. “I…well…”

Mikami’s arm snaked around him, pulling him close enough for him to feel every breath of the older man’s strained laugh. “We all know how charming Raito can be. Would you like to, um, try out some appetisers?”

Predictably, after _that_ meeting, Light was conveniently left out of every other discussion his fiancé participated in (there had come a point when he had literally gone into one of Mikami’s circles to ask him something, and the doctor had blocked him out with a shoulder).

Well, no thank you. Light wasn’t desperate, he wasn’t going to compromise on his pride for some shitty diplomat’s meeting, even though his interference would benefit the whole country. Mr. James had been right, Light _was_ more competent than Mikami. Why couldn’t his fiancé think of the greater good more often?

The teenager sighed, grabbing a chair by the punch table and slumping onto it, watching the several black-suited men and women gathering around in scattered groups around the large polished ballroom, chatting busily about things that mattered. And now fucking Mogi would come over to ask if the curtains matched the fucking flowers in the vases.

How did he get caught up in these situations? He had been a good student, he always obeyed his parents and his teachers had voted him most likely to succeed in the future (they hadn’t known about his being sectioned, he used his father’s surname). Why was he always so _stuck?_

He felt a finger tap his shoulder urgently, digging sharply into his skin, and the teenager immediately straightened up. Fuck, had he been slouching? He wasn’t supposed to be _slouching_ right now, he was at an important gathering. Fuck it, maybe _this_ was why he was stuck. Discipline, he needed some fucking discipline.

With a forced smile, Light got to his feet, spinning around to face the man beckoning him. “Can I help-”

“Raito-kun.”

The whisper was a monotone, deep and somehow tender, and it sparked something inside Light, like a word that was right on the tip of his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story just came to me in the middle of class and I HAD to write it down (I love it when that happens!) I really hope it's just as good on paper as it was in my head XD
> 
> Review and comment, please! Tell me if this is a good line of story! :D


	2. Ryuuzaki Rue

“Raito-kun.”

The last time someone had called him that was in high school. It spoke of half-forgotten memories, friendships, yelling for someone across the corridors, scribbling busily into a notebook, having an actual purpose in life, no matter how boring it was. But it was all Yagami-san nowadays (Yagami-san, approve the damn curtains, taste the damn punch, do everything that nobody fucking notices). And he understood why, it was his last name that mattered.

Light blinked, giving the other man a once over. Pale as a ghost, the man probably stood at a couple inches taller than Light’s five-seven, though that didn’t matter because of his pronounced hunch. A shock of ginger hair rested over his brow, looking exceptionally like a low-budget wig, though the brunet was far too polite to bring it up. He wore a black suit with a rumpled white shirt underneath, looking so haggard that Light was surprised the guards outside had even let him in. The brunet’s gaze dipped, and he bit back a gasp.

No shoes. No goddamn shoes. Where did this idiot think he was?

“I-I’m afraid we haven’t been acquainted.” Light put on his most dazzling smile and stuck out his hand. If he had been let in despite looking like something on his monthly issue of Poverty Illustrated, he was probably some sort of genius billionaire. “I’m Dr. Mikami Teru’s fiancé, Yagami Raito. As you already seem to know.”

The man cocked his head, his red wig slipping slightly from his jet black hair underneath. He studied the hand with huge black eyes as if it had just come unscathed from a fire. Wordlessly, the strange guest turned his gaze to him, and Light felt like he was drowning in a midnight sky. “We are being watched, then.”

“Sorry?” The brunet frowned, his smile not slipping. The guest sighed, suddenly taking his hand in his and shaking it firmly. The pressure of his hand was cold, unyielding, strong as iron cables.

“Ryuuzaki Rue. Dignitary from…France. Or do we already have one of those?”

Light was at a loss. “We don’t have any French dignitaries, actually. I’m…glad for your presence. If you’d like, I could introduce you to Teru-”

“Raito-kun!” A high voice whisper-screamed as something barrelled into him, grasping him in a hug that wrinkled his clothing. Light held back a grunt, clutching the table for support. The force was gone almost as quickly as it had appeared, and suddenly Ryuuzaki-san was holding a pile of blond hair and red sequins by the scruff of the neck. The young woman swept the hair out of her face and grinned at him. “Misa is so glad you’re okay, Raito-kun! Misa was so worried about you! We all were, L especially-”

“Shut up, Misa. We are being watched.” Ryuuzaki-san said shortly. “I am sorry for bringing her, Raito-kun, but it was necessary and offered me cover, considering my unusual appearance.”

 _Just your appearance?_ Light shook his head, trying to gather his thoughts and keep himself as diplomatic as possible. “No, Mr. Ryuuzaki, it’s quite alright. You’re very welcome here. I, um…would you like to meet the host?”

“Is it necessary to meet the host?” The pale man’s eyebrows drew down over his carefully blanked expression. “Does he have a hold on you in some way, Raito-kun? Blackmail or threats?”

 _What?_ “Um, I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood your question.” What a fucking eccentric. Of course Light got stuck with the eccentrics, this was just the way his life was. “Are you referring to my fiancé?”

“Oh my god.” Misa let out a theatrical gasp, her hazel eyes widening impossibly. “Has he hurt you?” Suddenly, the woman had launched herself at him again, wrapping her arms around his neck and, to his absolute mortification, rubbing her body against him. “Oh, Raito-kun, Misa wishes we’d done this sooner, but we couldn’t find you, R-Ryuuzaki says he’s keeping you hidden!”

Light squirmed in her grasp, blindsided. “Misa-san…!” He glanced over to the rest of the ballroom and to his absolute horror, he saw several of the dignitaries staring blankly at him. _Oh god_. “Misa-san, if you could please release me-”

“Get your hands off of him.” A sharp, low-pitched voice shot out from right behind them, and Light felt his stomach sink. A rough hand grabbed him by the upper arm and yanked him away from the woman.

Mikami was absolutely furious, so angry the blood coloured his face all the way to the neck. “Who are you? How dare you lay a hand on my mate?” He squinted at her, his grip tightening on Light’s arm. “Are you even on the guest list?”

Misa shrank back, looking over her shoulder for her partner but predictably, Ryuuzaki was long gone. She stuttered, nervously picking at her long blond hair. “N-no but…M-Misa was R-Raito’s friend…j-just coming to visit…” The girl looked beseechingly at him, and Light let out a heavy sigh. Some strange intuition was telling him to back her up, but damn it, she was _annoying_.

He turned his head to look at Mikami, which is why he could be a direct witness to the psychotic light flooding his deep brown eyes. “She’s telling the truth, she went to school with me.” He cut himself off faced with the doctor’s most murderous expression. “I’m sorry, Teru-”

His fiancé raised his hand and snapped his fingers loudly. Promptly, one of the maids rushed over. “Yes, Mikami-sensei?”

“Have security escort this girl out.” Mikami said with dead eyes, nails digging into the brunet’s soft skin. “I think you’ve had enough for the day, haven’t you, Raito? I’ll take you to your room.”

Light gulped. “Teru, I’m fine-”

“Don’t make a scene. You’ve already embarrassed me in front of everybody.” The doctor hissed, and Light looked away, his face burning.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’d better be sorry.” The older man released Light and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, putting on a sweet, fatherly expression. “Hey, it’s okay.” He crooned a pitch louder than usual. “I’ll take you up to your room, you’ll be fine, okay?”

The words churned in his stomach like acid. Of course Mikami was pissed off at him for something that had absolutely not been his fault. He was just mad about the fact that he’d shown him up earlier with Mr. James, that was all there was to it. These fucking mates and their inferiority complexes, and this fucking world that encourages these idiots to be the head of the family in place of noble-borns like Light.

Mikami marched him up the stairs, still holding him uncomfortably tightly, and threw the door to his room open, shoving him inside.

“You know, Raito, I treat you exceptionally well.” The door slowly swung shut behind him.

There was no disputing that. “I know.”

“I could let out all of the frustration I have bottled up against the nobles on you, you know. All those years before the Yagami family looked upon me to marry their child, so many years of hard work and neglect that the upper-class surgeons never had to face, I could blow off all the steam on you. But I don’t, you know why?”

Light didn’t like the look in his fiancé’s eye. He backed away, his shoes sinking into the soft carpet. Mikami strode a step forward, a cold grimace pulling at his lips. “Do you know why, Raito?”

The brunet shook his head, bumping against the frame of his bed and stopping, his heart pounding too loudly in his chest. “Mikami, I’m sorry. I didn’t know she would do that.”

His words were bouncing off of the other man, hardly even registered. “Tell me, Raito. I know you know why.”

“Teru…” Light’s hands, to his absolute disgust, were shaking. “It wasn’t my fault, she did it out of nowhere. I was only being courteous, I didn’t…I didn’t say or do anything for her to react that way.”

In response, Mikami grabbed Light by the hair at the nape of his neck and dragged him towards him. The teenager let out a squeak, trying to withdraw, but his fiancé pressed him against the bedpost and jammed his lips against his. Light gasped in a breath, immediately regretting it when Mikami took that opportunity to deepen the kiss. He waited it out, nails digging into the skin of his palm until the older man finally pulled away, glaring viciously at him. “All I ask of you is to not cause any more trouble. Can you do that?”

Light nodded, bile rising to his mouth.

“Good.” Mikami pushed off of him and slammed the door shut on the way out, and Light could hear the distinct sound of a lock clicking.

He would not cry. He would not cry for something as stupid as this. No matter what everybody told him, he wasn’t useless. He wasn’t only good for picking out tablecloths. He had a bigger future in front of him. He…he would be able to be independent, one day, he would have the means to rise to the top on his own.

_It hadn’t even been his fault._

Light’s eyes stung as the tears ran down his cheeks, but he refused to sob. He wasn’t going to cry for these assholes. It wasn’t fair, but then nothing was fair, really. He had a good thing going right now. He was going to use this to his advantage, he was going to have Mikami wrapped around his finger one day. One day.

The brunet sat heavily down on his bed, slipping off his shoes and drawing his legs up, lying on the side facing away from the door.

One day, they were going to regret putting him in this position. One day, they were all going to beg for forgiveness for treating him like he was less than trash.

He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn it, Misa, you just have to shit on L's magnificent incognito schemes XD
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	3. Apologies

_Bang._

Light shot awake, breathing heavily as he looked for the source of the sound. He rubbed his eyes as he glanced around the room. It was unexpectedly dark, though he was pretty sure he hadn’t switched off the lights when he’d fallen asleep.

He looked down at his feet and noted the blanket covering him. Looks like Mikami had come in to apologise at some point and had decided to barge into his personal space instead. His suit jacket was gone too, leaving him in just his long-sleeved silk shirt and trousers, making the blanket a necessity. It was freezing.

The brunet was just about to snuggle back into his warm bed when he noticed the floor glittering. He leaned over, frowning, then widened his eyes in alarm.

There was a sizeable rock inside his room. Smooth as the decorative pebbles they had in their backyard, but this one was black as tar and gleaming with polish. He scrambled out of bed and picked it up, turning it over in his hand and brushing his thumb over the jagged carving on one side, the Katakana word for England. Why would anyone scratch a letter onto a rock and hurl it through someone’s window?

 _Holy fuck, someone had hurled it through his window_. Light raked his hands through his messy auburn hair, surveying the damage. Carefully, taking pains not to step in the scattered fragments of glass that littered the ground, Light tiptoed to the window and peered out of it.

There was a person in their backyard, just standing there in the dark. He could see the shadow clearly in the moonlight, the inky black blur in the deep grey surroundings. And slowly, as if waiting for him to absorb every detail of his movement, the silhouette raised its stick-like arm in greeting.

Light padded down the stairs as quickly as he could without waking everybody in the house. He tiptoed through the kitchen, grabbing an iron poker from the fireplace on the way, and approached the sliding door. He pushed it open to venture out onto the cold wooden porch, realising he’d left his shoes in the room.

“Who’s there?” He whisper-called, squinting into the pitch-blackness to where he had seen the figure. He stepped forward, just on the edge of the steps leading out into the yard. “Mogi?”

And there he saw it again, that flicker of a shadow all the way behind one of their dead cherry blossom trees. Without thinking twice, Light wielded his poker, marching out onto the crisp air and squelching mud with bare feet. “Hey, listen up, the party’s over. You’re not going to get to do your fucking assassination plot, nobody important is left in here to-”

Suddenly, strong hands grasped him and yanked him forward, a hand jammed over his mouth. Light dropped his poker in shock, then realised what a fucking stupid thing that was to do. His assaulter pushed him up against the dead tree, and by the light of the moon, Light could catch a blindingly white grin in a pale face that had the capacity to haunt his nightmares for weeks.

“Hello again, Raito-kun.”

_Ryuuzaki Rue._

* * *

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this. Why don’t you ever take Mello?” BB grumbled as they waited in the shadows of the large tree in Mikami’s backyard for Yagami Raito to come downstairs after receiving their message.

L shushed him, chewing busily on his fingernail, his eyes fixed on the broken bedroom window where he had seen the head of auburn hair appear. His Raito-kun.

It had been seven whole months. L could hardly believe it, it felt like centuries. For seven months, he had hardly made any progress with getting them out of the country, he had spent every minute of every day looking for Raito, figuring out where he was. There had been a close call two months ago, when they had zeroed in on the house, but in the depths of the night, as if Mikami had picked up on how close they were, the entire family had moved away to a more secure location.

Somewhere down the line, L had started to give up. He stopped believing that he would ever see Raito again, searching for him had become more of a routine than a passion. He couldn’t stop looking, because that would have torn the heart out of his chest, but he couldn’t keep looking either, because it was killing him.

He had never been an optimist. Optimists didn’t tend to grow up in the bowels of a godforsaken orphanage smack-dab in the middle of war-torn Tawakoshi, they didn’t have their successors arrested for multiple murders, they didn’t lose their status as an upcoming detective to flee across the country trying to find a way to escape without getting caught and executed for being a so-called anarchist.

For all of his life, that had been fine. Pessimism worked just as well for a detective, and even helped with his cases. He didn’t need drive or ambition, because he could do just as well without them as long as Watari and his successors kept him going.

But then, in the middle of nowhere, Light Yagami had walked into his life. Light, who had grown up safe and sheltered in the noblemen’s counties. Light, who had had so many plans for the future before they’d been dashed to the ground. Light, who saw the world as a berry bush ripe for plucking…and suddenly, L started catching himself believing in fantasies, that anything was possible if he worked hard enough, that maybe an ideal world really could become a reality as long as everyone cooperated with it.

There was movement at the sliding door that led inside Mikami’s large white mansion, and then a lanky teenager stepped out into the shadows, his silhouette illuminated in moonlight. He seemed wary and on guard, and it looked like he held a poker in his hand.

Blood roared in L’s head, and a crazily wide smile stretched his lips as his heart thumped painfully in his chest. It was finally over, the period of penance, he would finally have his Raito-kun back and he could forget that horrible mistake he had made, the reason he had lost everything, the worst day of his entire life.

“Who’s there?” The boy called, as if he didn’t know perfectly well. Light liked to play these games, he always had, and no matter how tiresome they were, L would do anything to play them with him again.

Soon enough, the teenager did approach them, as if giving up on the game, and he got just close enough for L to pounce on him and pin him to the tree. He felt a bubble of excitement expand in his chest but this was not the time for emotions, they were in a hurry, they couldn’t afford to be caught.

 “Hello again, Raito-kun.” He felt the boy’s slender figure through his silken nightshirt, he felt the same, warm, healthy and attractive, but younger, more delicate, as if Mikami had softened him up. L swallowed the sentiment and basked in the fact that he was touching his Raito-kun again. _After so very long…_

Light screamed.

L froze, baffled, as the boy struggled in his grasp, breaking out of it with a breathless wheeze and scrambling to get away from him. Beside him, L’s murderous successor shot to action, grabbing the teenager by the waist and hauling him back, clapping his hand tightly over his mouth. Light bucked and cried out, raking his nails over the other man’s skin.

“Ow! What the fuck, L? Why is he acting like a little bitch?”

The brunet squirmed and mewled as he struggled in BB’s hold. L cocked his head, alarmed, black hair falling onto his face. “Raito-kun? It’s me, Ryuuzaki.”

Light didn’t seem to even register his words. “Get the fuck off of me!” The teenager yelled into BB’s hand. “Stop this! Please! Please let me go!”

BB snorted. “No need to get so pissy about it, twerp. We’re not here to hurt you.” He said in his rumbling baritone. Light flinched, keeping his focus on trying to pry BB’s hand from his face. A spark of murderous rage glinted in the depths of BB’s crimson eyes…L decided to intervene before the serial killer did something drastic, like snap his lover’s neck.

“Raito-kun.” L stepped forward, his pale fingers brushing the teenager’s silken sleeves. “I completely understand that you’re angry with me. Misa is so very sorry, as usual, but I do not expect your forgiveness. Did he…did he punish you?”

The boy finally met his eyes, and L felt a chill go down his spine. The brown eyes were blank, glossy with panic, watching him as he would a complete stranger. There was no spark of recognition in those eyes, he was a blank slate.

What had Mikami _done_ to him?

Luckily, L’s intervention had had the effect of making Light go limp, which allowed his successor to retain his sanity for a little longer.

“What’s the matter with you, Yagami?” BB shook him roughly. “Does your bastard fiancé know anything? Did he narrow down to us or something? Is it Misa’s fault? Because if it is, that idiot’s going to get it.” With a dramatic flourish, he released Light’s mouth to draw his carving knife from his belt.

The brunet’s face turned sickly pale, his mouth shuddering as he tried to form words. “I-I…d-don’t…” He gulped, squeezing his eyes shut and forcibly evening out his breaths. He raised his palms in surrender, addressing L with his most placating mask, a mask the detective remembered from their very first meeting, as if they had been thrown back in time, all the developments between them gone.

“Listen, I-I’m just a mate, okay? I don’t have any important information to give you. I wish I did, I really do. M-Mikami isn’t all that high up either, he was only picked for the party because my father pulled some strings. He was more a venue than an actual host. We’re not as prominent as you think. P-please reconsider this.” And accompanied with that shaky smile, just enough to cover up the absolute fear in his eyes.

“Wow, nobles are so fancy.” BB snarked. “Usually, people just beg for mercy.”

L nibbled at his fingernail. “Raito…it’s me. You’re acting like you don’t recognise me.”

Light took in a calming breath. “I do recognise you, Ryuuzaki-san. Please, if you just tell me what you want, I’m sure we can make a deal-”

 “Okay, that’s it.” BB snapped. “We’ve wasted enough time. You can explain your deal in the car.” He stalked forward and, to the brunet’s horror, pulled out a roll of duct tape. “Hold him down, L.”

L was about to follow his orders for once when a clatter came from the sliding door at the porch.

“Raito?” A familiar voice called. BB surged forward, elbowing L into the shadow of the tree and dragging their captive behind it himself. Light struggled to get his mouth free of BB’s huge hand, but the murderer drew his carving knife again, sticking the blade under the teenager’s chin.

The former detective peeked out from behind the tree to see the tall man at the landing in baby-blue pyjamas with a gelled mop of straight black hair and glasses crooked on his nose. He felt a pit of hot anger open up in his stomach, mixed with a bitter taste in his mouth.

L had a gun in his belt, and this man was so clearly defined in the yellow light of the kitchen.

“Raito? Hey, I know you’re there. I-I know you come here when you’re upset.” Mikami’s voice was warbling, tentative. “Could you come out, please? I’d like to talk.”

L hadn’t planned to kill him at this time, but it was so convenient…and Matt had arranged it so the security wasn’t going to cross paths with them if they hurried…

When he didn’t receive any reply, the doctor seemed to accept defeat. “Yeah, I guess not. I came by earlier, but you were asleep. Raito…” There was a pause. “I couldn’t sleep knowing I’d hurt you. Please don’t be upset. I’ll…I’ll do anything to make it better, Raito. I’ll…next time, I’ll make sure to let you join in, alright? You do have better ideas than me, you’re better with words, I should just accept that. I’d…I’d never mistreat you, you know that, right?”

Light was the first to notice L drawing his gun, his eyes bugging out of his skull in fright. It was enough to make L pause (he wasn’t a murderer, but Mikami had to die, didn’t he? Not only for the crimes he had committed, but also the obstacle he would prove to become…). Luckily, as always, his former successor was there to reassure him.

“Do it, L. He’s a nasty one anyway. It isn’t hard, just pull the trigger.”

Light shook his head frantically, his pleading muffled and desperate.

“It will be beneficial for everyone if I shoot him, Raito-kun. Please try to understand.” L said in his even monotone, raising the muzzle of his gun up and aiming it. They would have to move quickly after the gunshot, before the security came this way.

BB grinned. “Go on, L. Aim and fire.”

Mikami let out a forlorn sigh, back at the porch. “I guess we’ll talk in the morning, then, beautiful. Sleep well.” There was a shuffling and a rough scrape as he slid the sliding door open again.

L took a couple of quick breaths out of mouth to balance himself. _In, out, in out_. It wasn’t a big deal, it was about as easy as killing a rabbit. Swiftly, the former detective steadied his hands, his gun held tight, and prepared to squeeze the trigger.

Light suddenly wrenched BB’s hand down and screamed, seconds before the gun fired. _“Mikami!”_

The doctor spun around and was thrown back, his mouth round as his shoulder bloomed scarlet. BB hissed in frustration. “What the fuck was that? _What the fuck was that?”_ He grabbed Light by the collar as he yanked at the duct tape, ripping out a long strip and pressing it securely over the brunet’s mouth. “You’re not fucking allowed to miss, L! Shoot him again!”

“W-what…? Raito! _Raito!”_ The doctor staggered to his feet, clutching his shoulder desperately. L took aim once more and fired, catching him on the other shoulder and sending him falling to his knees. Light let out a choked sob as BB taped his wrists together and threw him forward.

“Come on, B, we don’t have time.” L leapt to his feet and sprinted towards the exit Matt had marked down as the one he had secured, leaving his successor to lug his unwilling lover along with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The action is picking up!
> 
> No worries, I'm not posting so quickly on a regular basis, I just couldn't stand sitting on this chapter any longer XD
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	4. Red

“What is this bullshit, L? You’re _L!_ You don’t make shitty plans!”

“It _wasn’t_ a shitty plan. I’d worked it out for everything. We worked on it for days, you saw us.”

“Well, what the fuck was this, then? I did not sign up for kidnapping a noble kid, alright? I may be crazy but I’m not stupid. Let’s fucking slit his throat and get you a prostitute for God’s sake!”

“Hey, now. Calm down, BB.” A ginger-haired man in a striped shirt stepped in between the two twins, pushing them away from each other. Light could do a good job telling them apart, even though they looked pretty much identical and wore the same clothes. One of them, the one referred to as BB, was a little bit bigger than Ryuuzaki, and his muscles were more well-defined. His eyes were scarlet instead of pitch black, his wild hair looked dyed black instead of natural, and he had a creepy leer that made him look more than a little unhinged.

BB spat at his twin. “You fucking suck, L. You told me you were rescuing a member of the team, not preparing to jack off into a pretty boy. I can’t believe I risked going to prison again for _this.”_

“B.” The redhead waved a hand in front of the larger man’s face. “Don’t be an asshole. He _is_ rescuing a member of the team. Light’s as much one of us as Near is.”

The murderous successor scoffed. “Bullshit. L had a clear shot at _Teru Mikami!_ The kid’s not on our side by a long shot. I say we shoot him in the fucking head! At least then we don’t have another fucking mouth to feed!”

Light dipped his gaze, studying the tanned lines of his own long fingers, placed right in front of his face as he lay on his side like cargo with his wrists wrapped in silver duct tape. His cheek was pressed against the cold metal floor of the van, he felt the beginnings of a bruise over his ribs from when BB had tossed him inside and he was trying very, very hard not to cry.

Nothing like this had never happened to him before. He lived in a country recovering from war, but the battles had always stayed outside his neighbourhood. To him it was a theoretical concept: helping the poor, eradicating the criminals…

To think he had always been in the support of anarchists. In Light’s view, the social order in Shingata really was shitty. The anarchists had a point when they said the government should be changed from that of an unhappy union between the nobles and the sectioned to a proper democratic state. He hadn’t said any of this out loud, because it would have ruined his family’s name, but he had always thought it was unfair hunting anarchists down and exterminating them simply for having a different point of view.

The irony of it all. Mikami had been right, the anarchists really were murderous criminals, and Light was about to find out the hard way.

_Mikami._  

He was trying not to think about Mikami.

He had to be okay. He had to. The anarchist had missed the vital regions, he was sure of that, but Mikami could still be bleeding out, he could be crippled, the security could reach him too late…

Light wouldn’t be able to bear it if he died because of him.

The teenager took in a shaky breath through the nose, blinking away tears. He was not going to cry. These men were ready to kill him, the last thing he needed to do was lose control of himself, he would lose any chance of survival.

He had to come up with a plan, but what plan could he make with his mouth taped up? His silver tongue was his trump card, it was what always saved his skin. What was he without words? He couldn’t fight, he couldn’t defend himself (he couldn’t stop Mikami from getting shot).

The van bounced over a bump, making Light hit his head against the hard floor. He groaned softly, pulling his knees closer to his chest and digging his nails into his palm, drawing blood. Damn it, damn it all, why did they pick him? It wasn’t for ransom, because then they wouldn’t have tried to kill his wealthy fiancé. It wasn’t to violate him because, as BB had so aptly pointed out, there were many less risky ways to get what they needed. A kidnapped noble attracted police like ants to sugar.

And it wasn’t to _rescue_ him, as Ryuuzaki was so fond of saying, because not only was he a fucking noble in a mansion, he had also never met an anarchist in his life.

Light had very seriously considered a case of mistaken identity, but they called him by his actual name, knew where he lived and appeared to recognise him. How likely was it that there was another nobleman in Shingata right now with Light’s face and Light’s name, consorting with anarchists? (It wasn’t like Raito was a very popular name anyway). But it was his only theory so far, nothing else fit the facts.

Light sighed, bringing himself back into reality. He needed more data, he needed to listen in-

He flinched. There was a white face shoved way too close for comfort to his own, the nose almost touching his forehead. Seeing that Light was no longer zoning out, the dark-haired man squatted down in front of him and chewed off the edge of his fingernail. “Explain yourself, Raito-kun.”

Light stared at the strange man, waiting for him to elaborate, take the tape off his mouth, _something_ , but after a minute of waiting, Ryuuzaki simply began to nibble on the nail of his next finger.

The brunet frowned. Was that supposed to achieve something? He had already told them he didn’t have any information, they hadn’t kidnapped him to interrogate him about anything, had they?

Finally, Ryuuzaki seemed to accept something and leaned forward, reaching out and burying his slender fingers in Light’s auburn hair. He cringed, trying to move away, but Ryuuzaki persisted, his fingers spiders combing through his hair, inspecting every inch of his scalp.

The spindly man’s fingers probed the crown of his head before withdrawing suddenly, his huge dark eyes blinking before he proceeded to retrieve a piece of candy wrapped in paper from the pocket of his jeans and stick it in his mouth.

“What is it, L?” The redhead came forward, squatting beside him with his arms crossed over his knees. He cast a worried look at Light that only gave more credence to his mistaken identity theory, because why on earth would his kidnappers look so worried for him?

Ryuuzaki shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

“What?” The ginger-haired man pushed his orange-tinted goggles off of his eyes into his thick hair to better gape at his weird friend. “What don’t _you_ understand?”

The pale man ignored him, clamping his hand on Light’s arm and yanking him quickly to a sitting position. The brunet let out a huff of surprise, staring blankly at the black-haired man as he cocked his head again.

“You are a puzzle, aren’t you?” Ryuuzaki murmured, working on the nail of his little finger. Suddenly, he ripped the tape off of Light’s mouth and flicked it to the side. The teenager tried not to wince and failed, but he did not take his eyes off of Ryuuzaki’s. _Nobody_ challenged him, especially when they had him tied up and at their mercy.

The black-haired man chewed his candy. “Speak.”

Light clenched his jaw, glaring silently at the other man.

“Explain yourself.”

 _Explain himself?_ He’d be damned if he explained himself to these goddamn murderer anarchists, who did they think they were? And what did have to explain anyway? He hadn’t asked for them to kidnap him! What did this guy expect him to say?

Unexpectedly, a smile quirked Ryuuzaki’s lips. “I suppose Raito-kun would have to sulk under these circumstances, his pride would allow no different.”

Annoyance flooded his cheeks scarlet. _“Pride?_ Are you serious? You kidnapped me from my home and shot my fiancé twice. What exactly did you expect?” His voice croaked, as if he hadn’t used it in days.

The smile disappeared. “What is your name?”

“I’d think you know my name, considering you keep calling me by it. Are you schizophrenic? Did I seriously get kidnapped by an idiot?” Light realised he was babbling and snapped his mouth shut. The stress was getting to him.

“Say your name.” Ryuuzaki insisted.

Light shoved his taped wrists into his lap. “Fuck you.”

“Your name, or I will be forced to involve BB. He is feeling murderous today.”

Despite all his efforts, a chill of fear went down his spine. “I-I don’t give a flying f-fuck if you torture me-”

_“What is your name?”_

Light rolled his eyes, trying to disguise the chattering of his teeth. “Yagami Raito.”

“And what is my name?”

Was this some sort of game? Light let his irritation show on his face. “Ryuuzaki Rue.”

The redhead, who had been watching the proceedings with fascination, goggled at him. “Huh?”

“It’s the pseudonym I told him to call me when I tried to retrieve him during the party.” Ryuuzaki replied. “My real name, please, Raito-kun.”

Light licked his dry lips. “I’m sorry, but I’m not aware of when you told me your real name.”

The ginger-haired boy leaned forward, his interest piqued. “You don’t know who I am, then, Light?”

“Am I supposed to?”

“Wow.” The boy fiddled with his thumbs, his green eyes wide. “I’m Matt. Mail Jeevas, but you can call me-”

“Don’t tell him, you goddamn idiot.” A raspy voice came from behind them, and BB was suddenly on his feet, eyes bloodshot like an inmate in an asylum. Light tried to quell that spike of fear coursing through him. _He isn’t going to hurt me, Ryuuzaki’s testing something, he wouldn’t murder me out of the blue..._ “Break me out of jail to do your dirty work and then go around telling nobles your real name. If I get caught again because of you…”

“Take a nap, B.” Ryuuzaki monotoned, and the criminal’s face turned beet-red.

“Hey, bastard, you want to fight? You want me to kick your fucking ass?”

Matt got to his feet. “Hey, now, B, Ryuuzaki’s going through a lot, leave him alone. Why don’t you actually take a nap? We can handle things for now.”

BB grumbled, but caved in. “Fine, but this isn’t because you asked me to. I’ve had a long day because of you assholes.” He shuffled over to a pile of backpacks and laid down on them.

Matt grinned. “Sure it isn’t. Goodnight, B.”

The murderer muttered something under his breath, but didn’t move from his place. Matt raised his eyebrows, smirking. “You drained him out, L.”

“Good, at least he’ll stay down awhile.” Ryuuzaki responded, turning his attention back to Light, his eyes boring deep into his as if daring him to blink. Light refused to budge, meeting the challenge silently and forcefully. _Fuck this guy. Just fuck him. Fuck him and his entire existence._

Twenty seconds into their full-fledged staring match and a smile curled Ryuuzaki’s lips upward. “I see your personality traits remain the same.”

“Stalker.” Light hissed spitefully. Ryuuzaki laughed.

“Is that the conclusion you came to? I can’t argue, it is the one which makes the most sense from your point of view. I would like to ask, though, why would I ever stalk you?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” The brunet spat sarcastically. “Why do perverts stalk?”

 _“Pervert,_ Raito-kun? Now that’s low.”

 _Was he enjoying this?_ “It’s all well and good for you to taunt me while I’m tied up.”

The black-haired man laughed again, and cold fingers brushed the teenager’s cheekbone, running down to his chin and chucking it affectionately. “You haven’t changed at all, Raito-kun. Always plotting and scheming.” He sighed. “I can at least be sure it’s only memories you’ve lost.”

Light narrowed his eyes disbelievingly at the older man. “I haven’t lost any memories. I haven’t been through any trauma recently, or ever. I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else.”

“Have I, Raito-kun? I find that hard to believe. It took me months to track you down.”

Light shrugged. “You tracked down the wrong place, then. It only proves my point further, you probably just saw me and mistook me for your friend after months of fruitless searching.”

To that, he did not receive a reply. Ryuuzaki simply stared at him with those large black eyes, dark as an abyss and glassy as a mirror, his head cocked to the side and thumb brushing the edge of his lip.

Light sat still, refusing to be intimidated. “Listen, I don’t know anything about you. I won’t talk. Just drop me off wherever, I can find my way home. You and I both know I’m a lot more trouble than I’m worth.”

A few more seconds of silence, and Light almost tapped his foot against the ground impatiently. Ryuuzaki contemplated, fishing another candy from his pocket and eyed the wrapping.

He unwrapped it after a few more seconds and paused.

“Raito-kun has one sister. Sayu Yagami, seventeen, currently in high school. He doesn’t like it when I bring her up.”

The pause was so long Light almost interjected to yell _stalker_ once more.

“He envies her because she will marry a noble and remain an equal even though he is much smarter than she is. He resents his entire family and his mother most of all for lying to him throughout his life. Upon hearing talks of his impending engagement to a certain Dr. Mikami Teru, a suitor who was already emotionally and physically abusing Raito-kun, he ran away from home. He tried to flee the country through several means, one of which brought him to L, alias Ryuuzaki Rue, a former detective who was trying to escape with his entire family through any means possible.”

Light pressed his lips together, raking his nails over his palms. “That’s an interesting story.”

“It is.” Ryuuzaki agreed. “But it seems you need more to convince you.”

Light looked away. “You’re delusional. I don’t know how else to explain to you, I’m not the man you’re looking for-”

“Red.”

The brunet blinked. “What?”

“Your favourite colour, it’s red.”

A pause. Light tried not to register what the other man was saying.

 “You play the piano. You write overdramatic poetry. You hate watching people dance. You like potato chips and coffee and think role play during sex is amusing. You are passionate about anarchists and free speech. You have strong opinions on the Nobleman’s Treaty which you _say_ are completely objective, but are obviously based on your own negative experiences. You are selfish and childish and arrogant. You are selfless and charming and more intelligent than anybody I’ve ever met.” The pale man traced the line of the brunet’s bound hands. “And whenever you get nervous, you press your nails into your palms hard enough to distract yourself with the pain.”

Light was quiet, keeping his eyes trained on the ground, refusing to think. He couldn’t have lost memories, that was insane, people would have noticed. Mikami, Mikami would have noticed.

Ryuuzaki’s hand in his was a shock that had him reeling and shifting quickly away. The man clasped Light’s fingers in his, gently uncurling them, his thumb smoothing over the raw cuts that had opened up on the base of his palm.

“You shouldn’t cultivate that last habit, Raito-kun. There are better ways to focus than by hurting yourself.”

A soft touch on the tip of his nose. Light opened his eyes to see Ryuuzaki pulling away, a tiny smile on his lips.

“As you can see, I know my Raito-kun. He’s too strong to stay down for long. And he’ll come back to me. He promised he would.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohh, man, I finished this chapter ages ago and I was just itching to post it!
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	5. Prize

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Mikami smiled groggily, the world spinning about around him. The very minute he had opened his eyes, he’d known he was in a hospital room. His mother had been a surgeon, like him, he had spent a good amount of time in hospital waiting rooms as a child, sneaking away to peer into these large white rooms with their clean white spreads and stiff decorative window shades.

“Mikami-sensei? Mikami-sensei, can you hear me?”

His eyes fluttered open again and he managed to zero in on the person sitting at his bedside, the lanky young man with the shock of rust-brown hair clasping his hands under his chin as he propped himself on his elbows, watching his face intently. The smile that curved Mikami’s lips was absolutely natural. _Yagami Raito._

“Hello, Raito.” Mikami rasped, his voice sore and papery. He let the smile grow as Raito sat up (had he been dozing off?) and peered in closer, as if studying him. _His Raito was worried about him_ , it warmed his heart. “It’s nice to see you. T-thought you were angry with me.”

 _Silence._ Mikami let it wash over him. Raito wasn’t angry. Nobody could be angry inside a hospital, they waited for their loved ones to get better. It was all better in here, they focussed on making people feel better, his mother had always said that. Even when his father was being condescending, his mother was being neglectful, his siblings were bullying him, it would all be okay in the hospital. It would be okay as long as he was here.

He grinned at his fiancé, watching him as he looked from Mikami to the doorway and back. Everything would be okay, Raito would forgive him, he would hold his hand and wish him well and everything would be fine. It would all be okay.

The spell broke when Raito finally opened his mouth.

“Otou-saaaaaan!”

Mikami reeled back. The voice was so distinctly female, screeching and loud, nothing like Raito’s carefully cultivated velvet tones. He prepared himself as the stranger let out another bellow. “Otou-saaaaan! Mikami-sensei is awake!”

The doctor blinked rapidly, his head clearing too quickly in his shock. Sayu, that was Yagami Sayu, Raito’s sister, sitting there prim and proper in a bright yellow sundress. Her hair was muddy brown, not rusty, and fell in long waves down her shoulders. He didn’t blame himself for mixing them up, they looked unexpectedly similar, kind of like how chocolate from a chocolatier could somewhat resemble candy from a dime-store.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Mikami could barely keep the raw condescension out of his voice. Raito was nothing like her, he was ever so much more refined. “Where’s my fiancé?”

The brunette frowned deeply. “You don’t know? But Otou-san said you’ll know!”

Mikami felt a cold hand run down his spine. He tried his level best to shake off his disorientation and get a grip on the situation.

He was lying in a hospital bed. He was unable to sit up or move and there was a ton of gauze over his torso. He was being pumped up with morphine, which explained why he was so irritable. He had never responded well to painkillers. Luckily, though, they only dispensed morphine to noble patients, which meant they recognised who he was. Nobles got the expensive treatments, they were always out of the hospital in a night at most.

Mikami fixed the girl with a stern look. “Why the fuck would I know?”

“Oh I don’t know!” Raito’s sister flushed red. “Because you’re the one he lives with?”

“Obviously, I am in no condition to keep track of anyone, you idiot.” The doctor snapped. “Where’s your father?”

“I’m right here, Mikami-kun.” A deep voice resonated from the other side of the room. Mikami raised his head to see Yagami Soichiro standing in all of his broad shouldered, police uniformed glory, his badges gleaming gold from his chest. His eyes were bloodshot and piercing, nailing the neurosurgeon down accusatorily. What had _Mikami_ done wrong? As far as he knew, he had been injured…

_Oh God._

It flooded back to him in flashes. Going down for midnight coffee and seeing Raito’s bedroom door ajar on the way. No Raito in bed and the sliding door open in the kitchen, venturing out into the night air. Calling out for his fiancé, wanting, needing to apologise. And then the unmistakable sound of gunshots, piercing agony in his shoulders, stumbling to the ground in a pool of blood. Raito’s voice, hoarse in terror. _Mikami!_

“My son is gone, Mikami Teru.” Soichiro rumbled, crossing his meaty arms as he glared down at him. “I thought you had made sure he wouldn’t run away again?”

 _He didn’t, you absolute imbecile._ Look at the evidence, the shooting, the doors left hanging open, the bedclothes left rumpled. Raito never left a mess behind, no matter how much of a hurry he was in. Of course he hadn’t run away. _Stupid, stupid man._

“Running away would never have occurred to him, not after the undertaking.” The doctor replied, his voice cracking midway.

 The pale figure behind the tree pointing the gun at him, dragging his fiancé away by the arms as the brunet struggled to break away to come to Mikami’s aid.

“I thought so.” The chief of police muttered, loping to his bedside to better loom over him. “I gave my son to you on one condition, Mikami Teru. One single condition, that you would keep him safe. In his vulnerable condition after the undertaking, the least you could have done was protect him, for all your incredible professions of love.”

It stabbed, but not for the reasons he thought. “I had security stationed everywhere. I spared no expense. I don’t know how this could have happened-” His chest gave a twinge of pain from how heavily he was breathing. “I would _never_ have allowed him to be put in a dangerous situation again, Yagami.”

“Then _how_ did this happen?” The police officer growled. _“Where is my son?”_

“I will find him.” The doctor breathed. His fists balled up under the bedclothes, his head began to spin. He needed to be off the morphine, he needed to use his brain.

The pale face, a mess of crazy black hair flopping over it, a gun that fired bullets that burned through his skin and took away control of his body as they stole his lover from him.

 _“How_ will you find him? _You’re a two-bit prosecutor!_ Your only political connections are through me and my son! The son that you couldn’t hold for a _measly seven months!”_ Yagami shouted at the top of his lungs. Sayu, he noticed, was cowering in her seat, unsure of whether she was allowed to leave or not. Mikami winced, his head pounding.

The doctor gritted his teeth together. “And _your_ only connections are through your wife. You’re no better than I am, Soichiro. We’re the same. I will find your son and bring him back, but not because of any obligation to you. I will bring him back because I love him.”

Soichiro sneered. “You talk a lot, don’t you? All words and no action. But believe me, if I don’t see my son soon…”

The police officer straightened the glinting glasses on the bridge of his nose, his mouth tight as he sent a fierce look down at the doctor. Mikami could only marvel at how similar that expression was on Raito’s face, the same narrowed eyes, the same rigid jaw.

“If I don’t get him back, Mikami Teru, you know exactly what I’m capable of.”

* * *

There was one more hour left to the drive. One more hour of relative peace.

Once they got to the cottage, it would be questions everywhere. Mello would leap out of the front of the van, pull off his earphones and demand to know what BB had been screaming about all ride. Misa, if she had gotten home after security had booted her out of the Mikami mansion, would shriek in dismay, throwing herself onto her precious Raito. Watari would come out with a disapproving expression and start discussing the measures they had to take to make sure Raito didn’t escape, now that L had so stupidly brought him to their home. BB would agree emphatically, suggesting possibly methods to dispose of him without leaving evidence.

_I have netted my prize._

The thought came unprompted as he watched Matt sit beside Raito, trying to engage him in conversation, and L shuddered. It was such an unsavoury way to look at things, but in a way that was exactly what he had done. Raito hadn’t wanted to leave his prison, he had wanted to stay with Mikami, he…he _loved_ Mikami now, and L had taken him anyway.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

L had imagined so many iterations of this day, the day he would finally see his Raito-kun again. He had imagined everything from the trademark tearful reunion to the hissy fit Light would throw because he’d taken so long. He had imagined rescuing him from his abusive family and scampering off into the sunset, he had imagined sweeping his auburn-haired lover off of his feet and taking him up in a kiss that made up for every moment they had spent apart.

There were so many versions of this moment that could have been true, but none of them existed. The only one that was real was the one he was in now, and in this one, Yagami Raito was a stranger with resentful caramel eyes and a smooth sickle-shaped scar under his soft waves of hair, looping from centimetres over his ear to just below the crown of his head.

He didn’t know how it had happened. Was it an accident? Had Light been injured sometime in those seven months? Or did Mikami do this on purpose?

Even though he didn’t know how or why, his instinct told him it was the third option. He really hoped it wasn’t jealousy powering his instinct, he needed to trust himself. Light’s sudden shift of affection from L to Mikami should not affect his judgement, he was a detective, one of the greatest detectives in the world.

If this had actually been deliberate, though…L felt his stomach churn. To think that the man Light had been living with for the past seven months was capable of this…

L observed as Matt went into another high-strung giggling spree, laughing at one of his own jokes. None of the Whammy’s boys were particularly good at social situations, but Matt was acceptable enough. His level was more towards reclusive nerd than isolated hermit, which was probably why he and Light had been such close friends.

As testament to that, somehow, Matt’s nervous tirade was working. Light looked much more comfortable than he had been half an hour ago, not that that meant anything. The teenager was still scared out of his mind under than infallible mask he had forced himself into.

He was shivering, L noticed. The brunet was wearing only a thin white silk shirt over his trousers. He had curled up into himself and there were goosebumps all over his arms. He was visibly shaking as he gave the oblivious Matt a polite smile. L bit into the strawberry lollipop he had been working on for some time now, his throat closing up. The least he could do after torturing and frightening this innocent teenager…

The former detective pushed himself off the floor, grabbing the handles swinging from the top of the van for support. Mello’s driving was the best they were going to get from current company, since Watari was busy, but it was still pretty terrible. He managed to make it to BB, who was dozing off on their pile of supplies.

He rolled him off of them with his foot, not pausing as the murderer stirred and gave him a dirty look.

“What’s your _problem?”_ The serial killer groaned, rubbing his eyes and shoving the detective’s ankles as he turned over to go back to sleep on the floor.

L caught his balance, digging through the backpacks until he found one of Misa’s black matte jackets, complete with a thick fur trim from her modelling days. Balling it up in his hand, he began his journey bumbling along towards his lover and third-ranked successor.

Light had been watching him from the minute he got up, he knew, but the brunet only looked up at him when L draped the jacket over his shoulders.

“You looked cold.” L mumbled, squatting down beside the teenager and biting down on his lollipop. Matt smothered a laugh, pulling down his goggles to disguise his expression.

To his surprise, when he finally mustered up the courage to glimpse back at his lover, Light was not glaring venomously at him. His face was entirely blank, disguising what he felt even from him, which was a big deal because L could usually read everything Light felt no matter how he acted.

“Thank you.” The brunet breathed, looking down at his folded knees. There was a beat before he glanced at him again. “Um, could you…?” The teenager gestured with his bound hands and L sprang to action.

“Of course. I apologise.” The detective wrapped the jacket tighter around the boy, leaning in close to his warm body and trying not to inhale his pleasant, barely-there cologne.

Light noticed his efforts, giving him a semi-amused look as his posture relaxed into the warmth.

L cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you or anything.”

Matt crossed his legs under him. “Oh, yeah. I was just telling him about the day you first met.”

The detective felt his lips twitch into a smile. “That was an eventful day.”

“Oh, yes it was.” The redhead rolled his eyes dramatically. “So as I was saying…when you finally admitted you were Kira, L basically had a heart attack.”

“I did not!” L protested, and Matt laughed.

“Yes, he did. He was shocked out of his mind. He had assumed that the new detective emerging in the anarchist part of Tawakoshi was _BB_ , you see, so when you revealed yourself and demanded a gun and safe passage out of the country, L freaked and Mello drew his gun, threatening to blow your brains out.”

Light laughed under his breath. “This sounds straight out of a gangster movie.”

Matt grinned. “It sure was, or so I’ve heard. I wasn’t actually there. Anyway, you were totally against the idea of shooting, preferring to try to talk your way out of it through nice hard logical reasoning and, of course, flirting with L. It was all going great, and you had almost talked Mello down when you accidentally let slip that you knew L was the Detective L, and that he was planning to flee the country with us, his successors.”

“That didn’t sit very well with me.” L remarked off-handedly, enjoying seeing Light enraptured by Matt’s epic tale.

The redhead rubbed his hands together. “The atmosphere was tense. You were trying to make some sort of a deal to get out of the country, but L and Mello weren’t having it. They demanded that you admit how you had found out about their identities and when you refused, they were settling on torturing it out of you. And they probably would have, too…”

“If Amane Misa hadn’t made her appearance.” L contributed, trying to keep a straight face. Light, _his_ Light had loved telling this story because of this part. Amane was so manic it had amused him, he would always tell the story with her parts exaggerated with hand gestures and dramatic voices.

“So Misa had been living with us for a while now, ever since Mello had rescued her from a crazy stalker (long story that one) and she was pretty much the only person apart from me who could sway him to do anything. She entered the room and took one good look at your face before diving in front of Mello’s gun, blocking your body with her own and screaming that we weren’t allowed to kill the rescuers of motherless children on her watch (especially if they’re as attractive as you are).”

L allowed his smile to break through. Light would have said that line in a falsetto, with a flirty little smile and a coy flick of the head. “And that’s how we found out that you were not only Kira, but also the person sending Watari the daily stream of war orphans he delivered to Roger Ruvie’s orphanage for our daily income.”

Matt snorted. “Mello tried reasoning with her, saying that no matter how nice you are, you’re still a security hazard. Misa didn’t budge, she likely would never have, and Mello’s not known for his patience. Luckily, minutes before he exploded and blew all our brains out, you pulled out your trump card.”

“You told us you knew where BB was being imprisoned.”

 The detective watched Light with owl eyes, waiting for his reaction. The brunet seemed to be waiting for the story to continue, but there was nothing more to say.

If they had been telling the story to someone else, or if Light had been telling the story himself, he would have gone on to narrate the proposition of the infamous handcuffs, how they had eventually led to Light helping L solve cases that they submitted in anonymously for rewards, how that professional relationship had melted so easily into the closest bond L had ever created with another human being as organically as a child growing up. But really, L didn’t see a point in telling this Light about all that, not yet.

After a few seconds, the brunet shifted uncomfortably in his place. “So how much of that was true?”

“All of it.” L stated. “Perhaps a little dramatic coming from Matt, but the contents were all true.”

“Well, it’s entertaining, to say the least.” Light smirked half-heartedly.

L cocked his head, chewing on his mostly-dissolved lollipop as he waited for the teenager to react further. Unfortunately, Light gave him a guarded look, drawing his knees closer to himself.

“I don’t remember any of this, L-san. I don’t remember you or Matt or BB or anybody. Not a single trace.” The brunet shook his head. “Besides, I have never been outside the nobleman’s county. I don’t see how I would be able to do so much detective work and find out all these things if I have zero practical knowledge of the world.” He gazed at him for a minute, then flashed a roguish smile that had L’s heart jump to his throat. “Do you want to hear my theory?”

L finished off the lollipop and threw the stick aside, crunching the last bite. “You’re not going to convince me, Raito-kun.”

“Just…hear me out. Please.”

The detective shrugged. “Alright. Fine.”

“You’ve got to be open-minded about this, okay?” Light ensnared him with those bright honey-brown eyes and took a deep breath. “I think I have an identical twin who was adopted by another family at birth, who found out about my existence and is trying to ruin my perfect life.”

There was a beat before Matt let out a baffled guffaw. “Holy shit, I’m sorry I told you those stories, I didn’t mean to put your imagination into hyper-drive.”

L nibbled on his fingernail, frowning, and Light hurried to backtrack. “It’s not as impossible as it sounds. My mother is one of twins, and as was my great-grandmother. My father wasn’t a fan of that, he’s a little superstitious about all this so it wouldn’t be out of character for him to abandon one of his children to a foster home.” He shrugged. “So if I was born into a lower-class family and realised that how privileged my twin is, I’d probably want to ruin his life too. It makes sense, his knowledge of all these little details I would never know in my sheltered lifestyle, like how to track you down, what the criminal landscape looks like, when to use an alias…and it completely explains why I have no memory of you. He went and disappeared, leaving me to face the fire for whatever crimes he’s committed.”

L sighed deeply. “Raito-kun…”

“No, no, please. Give it a chance.” Light pleaded, and L felt his heart start to break. Why was he so desperate? It wasn’t fair, L had waited _seven months_ to get him back. “Listen, I’ll help you find him-”

“Raito-kun.”

“I’m serious, I’ll help you catch Kira, and if I’m right, if I’m able to find him within w-whatever time limit you want, y-you can let me go-”

_“Raito!”_

Light’s jaw clacked shut, his amber eyes fixed on L’s. _It wasn’t supposed to be this way_.

The detective felt his anger bubble just underneath the surface. “Yagami Raito. Do you actually expect me to believe that the genius son of the Chief of Police of Shingata doesn’t know when to use an alias? _You_ have no practical skills, Raito? You have no knowledge of the world? Don’t pretend you’re some sort of princess in a tower, you’re smart enough to make it in the streets and you know it.”

The brunet took a deep breath. “L-san, I’m really sorry, but with all due respect, any knowledge you think you have of me is probably inaccurate considering-”

“Shut up. _Shut up!_ Stop with the _lies!”_ L hissed. “We both know what’s true, stop pretending otherwise. I don’t understand why you’re hiding anything. The only thing I know about your condition is that you’ve lost your memory, and even that’s only because of how you acted when we initially came to rescue you. Every moment you’re being so damn difficult, I can’t figure out what the fuck is wrong with you because you keep lying to me and hiding things from me. Tell me, Raito, from the moment you were born, have you ever once just told the truth?”

Light swallowed, not daring to take his eyes off of the older man. “I haven’t lied to you…”

“Bullshit.” The rage snaked up his throat and burned his face. _“Bullshit_. I know you’re lying to me, acting like you have no clue how you could have lost your memories. With your rubbish theories and your wide-eyed innocent act, I’ve had enough! I’m tired of it, Yagami-kun! You will not act like you’re stupid, because I already know you’re not. I know you know what could have happened, and I know you know I know! So just _tell me the truth!”_

 _“Stop!”_ Light cried out and L froze. Somewhere during his rant, he had gotten to his feet and yanked Light up by the collar, Misa’s jacket discarded at his trembling feet. The brunet was grasping L’s hands with his own, trying in vain to loosen his grip as his face turned splotchy pink.

L immediately dropped him, mortified, and the slender teenager burst into tears.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I don’t know, I swear! Please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” The boy wept, burying his face in his hands.

The detective wasn’t sure what to do. He had never seen Light cry before (but then again, he had never kidnapped Light, brutally injured his fiancé or aggressively threatened him before). “Raito-kun…I-I didn’t mean to touch you, I’m sorry. It was in the heat of the moment.”

“I h-haven’t lied to you, I swear it, please don’t hurt me!” The boy shook with the force of his sobs, his head not lifting from his uncomfortably bound hands.

“Y-you haven’t lied to me, per se…you’ve only…hidden the truth from me. And…you must know I know about the scar, you felt me touch it.” The scar he’d found, Light was obviously aware of its existence. L only wanted some help figuring things out. Raito had always been his intellectual partner, it was frustrating having him be an obstacle when it was most important. “I would never hurt you, Raito. I want to know what’s going on, that’s all. Just…don’t cry, Raito-kun, I apologise.”

Light didn’t reply, his sobs dissolving until they were silent but for the sound of him gasping for air. Matt knelt beside him, shooting L a disapproving look as he put his arms around him, letting him lean in and hiccup onto his shoulder.

Awkwardly, L decided to retreat, crossing his arms over his chest. He slumped over to where BB was still soundly sleeping and squatted there. He could hear Matt crooning to the brunet all the way on the other side of the van. L sighed, trying not to pay them any attention.

It was only five minutes later that L realised Light had successfully managed to avoid telling the truth once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early chapter, because I got so many comments in a row on my last one that I was just like what the heck let me write the next one while my muse is feeling creative (thanks for that guys!) 
> 
> ...Though I should really be studying for exams right now XD
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	6. Beyond

L was being an absolute idiot.

BB rolled restlessly on the floor of the van Mello affectionately called the L-mobile, itching for a bottle of strawberry jam. The jam had many uses, like making him look more like L pigging out on something sweet, and helping him distract himself from that terrible gnawing in the back of his skull. For the past one hundred and fifty days, a knot of a phantom headache had been blooming there, and it was driving him insane.

Amazingly enough, he hadn’t spared the headaches a second thought when he had escaped his asylum with L. He had been preoccupied with his physical injuries, casually assuming they would fade once he got over his drug withdrawals. There’d been no reason to believe otherwise.

He didn’t delude himself that he would get used to them anytime soon. Fucking L had no clue how it was to live with the remnants of torture, did he? He was a pampered shit who had lived inside a room all his life and was struggling to cope with the slightest changes.

BB wished he had gone through with his initial plans and murdered L all those years ago instead of those five random victims. At least then he wouldn’t have been captured by the state of Shingata, and he wouldn’t have this _niggling headache_ chewing away at his sanity.

 Fucking L. Couldn’t shoot in a straight line, couldn’t plan out his missions right, couldn’t even make sure that the kid they were attempting to break out was on the same page as the rest of them. Like fuck, he was _L_. He was supposed to be good at these things. BB would have made a better L than L himself any day. Fuck solving crimes, he would have brought down governments and sent people like Dr. Mikami Teru (fuck that guy) straight down the most painful path to Hell while he still had the power to.

The shuddering of the van shook BB out of his partial sleep, and the murderer groaned, sitting up. He was too tired to murder, he was too tired to do anything but follow orders. He was sure L was liking this side to him, the bastard liked to have everyone under his thumb, didn’t he? BB was almost glad his plan to save his lover had failed. L needed some fucking tragedy, he deserved it.

He blinked away the remnants of sleep and surveyed the other occupants of the back of the van carefully. There was L, sitting alone in his trademark crouch like a spider-frog, his limbs all wrapped loosely around each other as he glowered fixedly at their captive.

Glowering, eh? That was a new development. Before BB’s impromptu nap, L’s face had been frozen into the most infuriatingly melancholy pout he had had the privilege to encounter. Glaring was a refreshing change, it made him only want to punch the detective across the nose rather than stick a knife into his eyeball.

BB glanced over at the object of his affections, the slim boy with the gangly limbs and pretty face, Light Yagami. So obviously a product of luxury, with his soft skin and shiny auburn hair, his damn haircut probably cost more than BB’s jam supply for two months straight. The kid was sharp, he could tell that much. While L was busy sulking and Matt tapping away at a game on his phone to amuse himself, Yagami was observing everything around him. Discreetly, as if he didn’t want anyone to know he was doing it. The brunet’s eyes flicked from point to point, making tiny deductions about who they were, what their purpose was and how much trouble they would be in the minute he managed to escape and blabbed all the details to his asshole fiancé.

BB needed to silence this guy. Ideally, he would stab the fuck out of him, but considering L would likely kick him out of his care and/or shoot him in the head if he did, he put it off. No use throwing himself onto the streets in this condition. Maybe after he figured out how to neutralise the headache…

 _Damn it, L_. He was supposed to be a smart person, why was he kidnapping nobles? BB couldn’t be caught messing with the nobles, not again. Why was he doing this?

There was a screech, and the van jerked to a halt, sending all of its occupants clattering like dominoes. Their captive was worst off, unable to catch himself as he fell forward, but luckily for him Matt the Good Samaritan was there to help him out, putting one strong arm around him for support.

Ready to be disgusted, BB took a glimpse at L, expecting the detective to be on his feet already at his alleged lover’s beck and call…but to his bewilderment, the pale man hadn’t moved an inch, his glare not dropping its venom.

L was angry with his prize? BB hadn’t expected that. L was the kind of person who put his emotions away to work on a puzzle, not channel his anger into the solution like B…which meant now L would just sulk for three days straight and refuse any food but blueberry cheesecake while he contemplated on the problem of his Raito-kun. It was what he always did after a conflict.

Matt cleared his throat, pattering away at his phone. “So Mello’s doing the perimeter check. He says it’ll be a minute.”

L shrugged apathetically, already starting off the sulking process, much to BB’s exasperation. The serial killer used the support of the backpack mountain beside him to stand, stomping over to the rest of them resolutely.

Matt gave him a once-over, barely looking up from his game. L, to his credit, shifted imperceptibly so he was propping himself up on his hands, his legs bent in front of him in a defensive Capoeira  stance, ready for BB to attack. Lucky for him, the serial killer was feeling more than a little down at the moment, preferring to just get all this over with so that he could take a nice long nap in an actual bed with two or three painkillers clenched between his teeth.

“Get up.” He said shortly to their captive, who glanced up at him in surprise, as if he hadn’t expected him to approach him at all.

Strangely, BB noticed that the fear didn’t flood his eyes immediately. The first thing that flashed in those dark-gold irises was contempt, contempt and smug satisfaction. _How odd._ It only lasted for a split second, replaced easily by the most genuine-looking terror, leaving the murderer wondering if he had seen anything at all.

“I said get up.” BB said, loathe to bend over and deal with the boy himself.

The brunet finally decided to comply, rolling his legs under himself and attempting to stand, Matt predictably rushing to his side and giving him a helping hand. When he was finally on his feet, standing a good head shorter than the black-haired killer, BB whipped out the thick blindfold he had fashioned out of one of Amane Misa’s sashes and spun him around, tying it tightly over his eyes. “Remember, I’m only keeping you alive as a favour to L. Any funny business and I will not hesitate to relieve you of your head.”

And there it was again. Before the boy bit his lip nervously, there was a flicker of another emotion. His mouth curved up on one side for a split second, a mocking, scornful smirk.

Before the murderer could act on that, possibly throw the kid against the wall and sock him across the face, Matt interjected.

“Is this really necessary, B? It’s _Light_. I know you haven’t met him before, but I can vouch for him-”

“No, it’s not.” A quiet voice piped up, a voice BB hadn’t even realised belonged to L until he shuffled towards them. “This isn’t Light. B’s right, we have to take precautions.”

“But L, he’s still the same person. You know who Light was. Come on.” Matt spread his hands. “Don’t be an asshole, we’re already scaring the shit out of him.”

 _Ugh_. BB was just about to sneer at him when there was a tiny cough from the young man he was gripping firmly by the arm.

“Thank you, Matt, but it’s alright.” Light Yagami smiled faintly. “I’ll cooperate.”

Reverse psychology worked wonders on Mail Jeevas, evidently, because Light’s declaration had the redhead turning a deep shade of puce. Luckily for BB, before Matt could open his mouth and spew out more nauseatingly sentimental bullshit, the doors of the van were flung open, a leather-clad blonde standing in front of them with his hands on his hips.

“What the fuck were you yelling about this whole time? Driving with you is _hell_. You fucks couldn’t text me a single word?” Mello demanded, giving them his trademark bloodthirsty glare.

BB smirked. “Right, no. You guys deal with this one. I’ll go secure the prisoner.”

“Prisoner?” The blonde gaped as BB dragged Light stumbling out of the van behind him. “Is that _Light?_ What did you _do_ to him?”

BB snickered emptily as he yanked the captive along. “Go ahead, L, explain!” He called over his shoulder as he made his way into the headquarters.

The minute they entered the ramshackle building, BB sighed with relief. It looked like Misa wasn’t there yet. While he did love the chaos that followed her, the distress when she realised her precious Raito didn’t recognise her was going to be sickening. He saw Watari peeking out at him from the kitchen, headphones still on as he presumably continued his research on Near.

BB knew for a fact that Watari had baked a prospective cake for Light’s return, so it was a refreshing change that the old man didn’t show a single ounce of emotion, quietly withdrawing back into his room and resuming the work he had been doing.

The serial killer hauled Yagami into one of the spare rooms of the squat little headquarters, shoving him down beside the heavy shelf holding their food supplies and pulling out his duct tape. At the sound of the tape ripping free, Light flinched.

“Wait. Don’t.”

BB snickered. “But I want to.” He snarked, pulling out a long length of tape and grabbing the brunet’s upper arm. To his annoyance, the boy jerked out of his grip, his mouth set in a straight line.

_"Don’t.”_

The serial killer raised his eyebrows, amused. “Excuse me? Are you giving me orders? Am I displeasing your noble being?” He leaned in close. “Listen, kid, you don’t know who you’re messing with. You have no clue. Don’t provoke me or I’ll stop giving a shit what L says, you got that?”

To his bafflement, of all the reactions the teenager could have had while being half his size and at his mercy, Light Yagami laughed. Softly and charmingly, mockingly, with his head tilted ever so slightly to the side and a cool smile on his lips.

The blood rushed to BB’s head, and the pinch of his headache twanged with pain. His own lips stretched into a psychotic grin. “Oh, you’re a cute little fucker, aren’t you?” He raised his fist, ready to loosen a few of those straight white teeth. “Let’s drive some sense into that pretty head of yours.”

His fist was about to fly before Light smirked. “Oh yes, let’s play. Let’s see which one of us breaks first, _Beyond Birthday.”_

BB stilled, his bewilderment converting to fury. _“How the fuck do you know my name?_ ” The serial killer drew his knife. “Answer me, bitch! How the _fuck_ did you find out?” _He had to kill him now. He couldn’t have a noble walking around knowing where he was, with all the police after him he was sure to be caught!_

_He couldn’t go back!_

Light seemed to be able to read his thoughts, cocking his head to the side tauntingly. “Try it. Try to hurt me, I dare you.”

“Oh, I will, believe me.” The murderer snarled, eyeing the brunet’s flat stomach.

Light took a deep breath. “Birthday-san, in the most respectful way possible…fuck off.” A tiny smile to reinforce the insult.

BB glowed with rage, raising his knife like a tribal shaman over his human sacrifice. _“You pathetic little-”_

Light laughed. “Four-five-one-two-zero-eight.”

The murderer dropped his knife with a clatter and collapsed to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha I love making BB suffer through L's bullshit XD
> 
> Next update will be Saturday or so, but the one after that is a little iffy because I have midsems going on (though knowing me, I'll probably update just as regularly because yolo)
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	7. Deal

As usual, they all underestimated the mate.

Light wasn’t sure why they did it. Did people forget mates were given the same education as the rest of them up to high school? Did they forget that they’re just as human as the nobles on the other end of the treaty? Did it just slip their minds that some of them are capable of being intellectually superior to others?

Well, they probably forgot the last one at least, because using the insultingly simple nickname “BB” around the son of the Chief of Police of Shingata and fiancé of one of the world’s best criminal neurosurgeons was just stupid unless they considered him a retard. Which other psychopath with the initials BB had escaped prison within this year?

Perhaps, if Light had been a little less interested in the criminal justice system (or if Beyond Birthday hadn’t been such an interesting case study), he could have gotten away with it. But unfortunately, living with Mikami was boring so Light took every escape he could, most especially studying the psychotic inmates that had laid on the neurosurgeon’s operating table.

Voice-activated neurostimulation had been of particular interest to him for a while now: sticking a charge into the inmate’s brain and having it manipulate the neural signals on call, it was highly unethical in any other country and particularly cruel, but nutty Shingata was a free-for-all, they didn’t give a single shit about the rights of criminals.

The stimulators were supposed to prevent criminals from escaping, and Beyond Birthday, the infamous serial killer who had been committed to an asylum due to a judicial misfire, was given a Grade 3 charge, one of the most powerful ones on the charts. Just as well that he had managed to escape anyway.

The brunet let out a breath, annoyed with the blindfold covering his eyes. He had planned to use his secret advantage at a later time, preferably when his life showed signs of being in danger, but he couldn’t stand being tied up any longer. His shoulders ached just from having his wrists bound, it was getting to the point of torture. Light was just a soft little noble, he wasn’t built for all this.

If he waited much longer, he ran the risk of having someone come check on them. His scheme counted on having BB alone with him. “Two-one-one-six.”

He heard the murderer shift heavily in his spot, promptly waking up. Neurostimulation would probably have a terrible effect on his alertness and mental functions. He already saw how it gave criminals headaches on a regular basis. They were certainly not a good thing, however fascinating they may be.

“Take my blindfold off.” Light commanded, and he heard the murderer groan in response.

“W-what the fuck did you do?” He asked groggily.

The brunet smirked. “If you want me to explain, take my blindfold off.”

BB finally seemed to come to his senses, and Light heard the scrape of metal as the murderer picked up his knife. “You little brat-” He began, but the teenager interrupted him.

“I will do it again, Beyond Birthday, or I will choose to intensify your headache permanently instead. Put the weapon down.”

That earned a pause. Light smiled. To think the black-haired man had been trying to keep his pain a secret, it was painfully obvious to anyone with half a brain looking for it.

“What did you _do_ to me, Yagami?” The serial killer sounded like he was tripping unsteadily about the room. “I can’t fucking stand, what the hell-”

Light felt so damn smug. “Don’t worry, it’s temporary. Your brain is readjusting to the chip, nobody’s used it in a while.” He smirked, deciding a monologue was in order. “See, I never attended college, but my fiancé Mikami was nice enough to bring me material to study. The subject I specialised in was criminal neurosurgery as a theoretical concept. To put it simply, I know seventeen different voice-activated coded functions for that chip in your brain. One to put you to sleep, one to wake you, and fifteen levels of pain.”

There was an extended pause, and the murderer snarled. “Well, I’ll just have to gag you before I skewer the fuck out of you-”

“Not so fast.” Light said condescendingly as a shiver that ran down his spine. _Fuck, he hadn’t thought of that._ “You sure don’t know much about neurostimulation, do you? The code doesn’t have to be verbal, I can tap it on the ground or even sniff the right number of times and you’ll die in permanent agony.” The brunet crossed his fingers, hoping the murderer was as inexperienced as he thought he was and didn’t see through that bucket of lies.

Luck seemed to be shining on Light, because the serial killer grumbled, irked. “Of course. Of _course_ I have to get stuck in this mess. I am going to _kill_ L-”

Light flashed his most winning smile. “No need to view this so negatively. This can benefit both of us. All I need you to do is keep this a secret from your friends and stay on retainer for me. I’ll need you to help me escape when I get the opportunity, but until then all you need to do for me is be nice.”

“And how does that benefit me?” BB’s voice was wary, cautious.

Light grinned, particularly proud of himself.

“Well, not to brag or anything, but you’re looking at the youngest person who has ever successfully disabled a neurostimulation chip.”

* * *

“Where’s Raito-kun? Misa has to see him! Let Misa see him this minute! _Where is he?”_

L speared a blueberry with his fork and stuck it in his mouth apathetically. “I wish I could tell you, Amane-san, but I do not know where Raito-kun is either.” He drawled to himself, scooping up a bite of cheesecake on his fork.

Misa had arrived a few minutes too late, storming into the headquarters the very minute BB had shut the door of the spare room with Light in it. The idea of BB in a room alone with L’s lover was worrying, to say the least, but he knew his successor wasn’t going to hurt him (if he did, L would shoot him in the face). It left L alone with Mello and Matt, and the detective had quit social interaction for the day, resigning himself to a piece of blueberry cheesecake as he pondered on what to do about Light.

He hadn’t expected this, not in his wildest dreams. He hadn’t expected the government to operate on a _noble_ , especially with such an obviously experimental procedure. And why could they have done it? Because Light had run away from Mikami?

Did Mikami pull strings to get his fiancé back in any shape and form?

Dr. Mikami Teru. The most cruel man he had ever seen, and L had seen his fill of despicable people. What he had done to BB and probably Near was bad enough, but hurting Light was a step too far. Mikami better watch his back, the minute L got out of the country and rebuilt his connections, he was going to come down on him with all his strength, he was going to make sure there was nothing left of him when he was done.

L sucked another piece of creamy cake. _Oh, when he escaped the country…_

“Misa needs to apologise for what happened at the party! Please, tell Misa where he is!”

The black-haired man raised his eyes to study the jittery blond model, licking his spoon free of dessert. “Go bother Mello and Matt, Amane-san.”

“Matt and Mello are busy, they won’t talk to Misa! _Please_ , L-san!”

L let out an aggravated sigh. “Raito-kun is not himself right now. You cannot meet him. Please go away. I am attempting to figure out what to do with him and you are not helping.”

 “What to _do_ with him?” Misa’s voice rose to a cry. “What do you mean?”

“Amane-san, do not interfere-”

L was interrupted by a loud, shrill shriek coming from the other side of the house. The detective’s head snapped up and he was on his feet before he registered it, bounding towards the storeroom with his heart pounding a hundred miles in his chest.

He threw the door open with a bang and yelled at the top of his lungs. “B, don’t you _dare-!”_

L stopped, struck dumb. It wasn’t Light screaming after all. Or rather it was, but the shriek he had heard in the other room was coming from Beyond himself.

“You fucking _asshole!_ ” Light shouted until he was red in the face, sitting propped up against a nearby shelf. “I wasn’t asking for much! All I wanted was a little cooperation! It was a _good deal!_  You’re not getting the deal back, you can rot in hell! You can suffer until you die in agony!”

L looked from Light to Beyond and back. The serial killer was clutching his hair in clumps, howling like a banshee as he raked his nails down his face. The detective heard an inflection in the screams and realised that they were words. He was screaming for Light to _stop it._

“What’s happening?” A voice came from behind him, and L glanced over to see the entire troupe, Mello, Matt and Watari standing there, all stunned.

Watari gulped, shaken. “What on Earth is going on, L?”

L shrugged, at a loss of what to do. Neither Light nor Beyond had realised they were there, the brunet being blindfolded and the former successor too hysterical to comprehend anything. What was this? _Telepathy?_ L’s eyes widened with the implications of that. Telepathy wasn’t even _possible!_ But how else could Light possibly be doing this to Beyond? What the hell had Mikami done to his brain?

“You short-sighted idiot, I can’t believe you’re this stupid! I literally just told you what I could do!” Light ranted, and L had a flash of déjà vu. This had to be his Light, there was no other human being who could hold so much disgust in so few words. “Idiots, I’m always stuck with idiots. I’m never switching that off, you understand? You can drive yourself insane for all I care!”

BB let out a whimper, clutching his head tight in his hands, and behind him Mello gasped. BB never whimpered, it went against his entire persona. “Please…” The murderer mewled. “Please, it hurts…”

He was really suffering. Whatever Light was doing to him, it had to be horrendous for _B_ to be suffering. L stepped forward, ready to interject, but before he could rush to either of the two inside the room, a force of nature pushed past him in a flash of blond hair, and another piercing squall joined the rest.

“Raito! _Raito-kuuun!”_ Amane Misa cried as she sprinted towards Light’s huddled figure and knelt by him, whipping off his blindfold in one fluid movement. The brunet blinked rapidly, taken aback by the sudden light, then settled his amber gaze on L. He sighed vexedly.

“Oh. Right, of course this would have garnered attention. I’d figured the great Beyond Birthday would have taken me to a relatively soundproof location, but I guess he can’t even do _that_ right.” Light darted a glare at the murderer, who was stumbling obliviously about in a circle and wailing.

Before L could respond to that, Misa hugged the slim teenager tightly to herself. “What did they do to you, Raito-kun? How dare they tie you up? Misa will get you free and comfortable in a second, you just wait.” The model started to work on picking apart the ends of the duct tape that bound Light’s wrists together.

The brunet’s puzzlement flashed over his eyes for a split second before he moulded his face into a picture of relieved joy. “Oh, um. Oh, God, I’m so glad you’re saving me! I don’t know what I’ve done for them all to torture me like this!” Struck by his words, Misa grabbed him in another breathless hug, squealing her indignation. Over her shoulder, Light’s façade slipped and he smirked widely.

This was his Light, damn it. This plotting, scheming, two-faced creature was his Light exactly. It was killing him.

L gritted his teeth, loping towards Misa and attempting to pry her away from the teenager. “Amane-san, you have no idea what’s going on. Get out.”

“No, Misa!” Light cried out, sounding so distressed that L almost stopped to ask if he was alright. “Misa, don’t leave me with him! He wants to hurt me! Untie me, Misa!”

The detective pursed his lips. “Raito-kun, I swear to God…”

“Get away from him, you monster!” Misa screeched. “Don’t you dare touch him! After the torture he must have gone through in his old home, you dare to treat him this way? Misa will protect you, Raito, Misa won’t let L get an inch close to- _hey!”_

L breathed a sigh of relief. Mello and Matt had finally broken out of their stupors to contribute to the action, Mello grabbing Misa by the arms to wrench her away and Matt running over to BB to attempt to calm him down.

“Misa, for fuck’s sake, stop wriggling! You’re so damn annoying, I don’t know why we put up with you!” Mello growled, yanking her back as she screeched and bucked.

Light, for his part, did not drop the act. “No! No, don’t leave me! He’s going to hurt me, he’s going to torture me! He said so! Help me, Misa!” His wrists strained against the tape as he shouted, raising them as if to shield himself from the detective looming over him.

L felt equal parts irritation and hope. Irritation because this drama was so typical of Light, and hope for the exact same reason. “Raito-kun, that’s more than enough. If you continue with this terrible charade any longer, I’m afraid my ears may start to bleed.”

“Be glad I don’t have a knife or you’ll know exactly how that feels.” Light hissed. He then proceeded to shut his mouth with a snap, visibly morphing his expression from hateful to traumatised. “…I mean, please d-don’t hurt me!”

L couldn’t help but laugh, trying to squash the affection from his voice and failing. “Drop it, sweetheart. Misa’s not a valuable ally, you must know that.”

The brunet looked mortified. “Wha-what…? Who the hell do you think you’re calling that?”

L blushed. “Um.” He hadn’t realised. _Sweetheart_. “I didn’t mean…”

“And it’s not like I have a wide variety of allies, you know. You can’t blame me for trying.” Light said irritably.

L dropped to a crouch beside the boy, burying slim white fingers into his thick auburn hair, and it seemed the brunet had gotten used to him doing that because he didn’t even blink. “I am an ally, sweet-, uh, Raito-kun.” _Damn it, if he called him that one more time…_ “We’re all your allies. We want to help you get better, I promise. None of us have ill intentions.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m tied up here, aren’t I? That’s why your good friend BB was likely going to slash my throat open minutes ago, isn’t it?”

L gritted his teeth together. B was going to get it today. “BB was going to hurt you? Why?”

 _“Hurt_ me? He was going to stick me through the heart. He was going to _murder_ me, like the murderer he is!”

 _Murderer_. The pale man exhaled. “You figured out his real name.”

“It isn’t hard.” Light spat. L chuckled fondly.

“No, it isn’t. But then we weren’t looking to hide it from you, you’re supposed to already know it.”

The brunet flushed scarlet. “Well, I didn’t and now I do, and your friend tried to _murder_ me in cold blood for it so don’t you tell me you’re looking out for me! You’re not on my side, you fucking kidnapper! I didn’t ask for your help, and sure as hell would never have because I’ll probably _die_ by the end of this-”

L just managed to stop himself from instinctively kissing his Raito into silence, opting for a hand over his mouth instead. Light was enraged, his eyes widening, but before he could let out another stream of furious words L spoke in the flatly monotonous tone he always used around Angry Raito.

“Let’s have ourselves a little compromise, shall we, Raito-kun?” The detective smiled in what he hoped was a friendly manner. With Raito’s unsettled expression, though, it probably wasn’t. “I recognise that I cannot keep you tied up like this indefinitely, it wouldn’t be practical for a person in my position. However, you must also recognise that I cannot let you go.”

“Why _not?”_ Light hissed. “I won’t talk-”

 _“Because,_ Raito-kun.” L groaned, aggravated. “Because no matter what you may believe, Dr. Mikami is a dangerous man who has mutilated you for life. I cannot let you go back to him.”

That shut him up. The teenager’s brows furrowed down as he considered it.

“I know you know it, Raito-kun.” L said softly. “I understand that you may be suppressing the thought, but it is the truth. I don’t know how or why he did what he did, but in good faith, I cannot let you return.”

The brunet bit his lip. “No, L, you’re wrong. If you’re talking about that scar you felt, Mikami didn’t give it to me.”

“Then who did?” The detective asked curiously, earning a sigh in response.

Light dipped his head. “Look, all that matters is that Mikami would never hurt me, alright? He respects me, he cares about me. If you think you’re somehow helping me by doing this, you’re wrong.”

L curled his hands into fists. He had a good mind to just explode and tell Light all about the abuse the doctor had inflicted on the teenager before he’d had run away and met L nearly a year ago, but that would achieve nothing but denial. _Nice going, Mikami Teru. Nice job erasing all your mistakes and starting over._

The detective shrugged. “Let’s agree to disagree. I don’t think you’re going to see sense anytime soon. In the meantime, as to your predicament, I shall offer you a choice. Either we keep you tied up in here until we find a way to cure you, or…” L paused.

“Or?” Light prompted apprehensively, his brown eyes wide and sparkling.

L slowly smirked, sticking his hand in his pocket and pulling out a pair of handcuffs separated by a two metre-long chain.

The brunet cocked his head. “And this is not the same thing because…?”

In answer, L snapped one end of the handcuffs onto his own wrist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually hate the handcuffs as a plot device, they seem too convenient to me, but they were so perfect to this situation that I had to XD
> 
> Also, am I updating too quickly? Because it feels like I am. This story flows out of me like crazy XD
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	8. Criminal

L knew Light wasn’t used to taking gambles on people like him.

The people he manipulated in his own life were a lot more like Misa, happy-go-lucky and relatively thoughtless, easy to manoeuvre in whatever direction he wanted. Even Beyond was a better candidate to make a deal with: despite his unpredictability, he was still understandable.

L wasn’t understandable. At least not yet, not while Light was still figuring out his motives. Not to underestimate him, L would never make that mistake, but he _wasn’t_ going to figure it out, not until he got his memories back. It wasn’t possible to understand why L wanted him back so badly without seeing who they were to each other before.

 Light was uncomfortable in his handcuff, he noticed, massaging his wrist and darting glances at L every now and then, cautiously, as if waiting for him to take advantage of him. L tried not to feel offended (what was the deal with people calling him a pervert?).

The detective waved a hand in front of Light’s face. “Anytime now would be nice, Raito-kun. He looks like he’s going to die in ten seconds.”

L wasn’t joking. The murderer was, at the moment, twitching on the ground, his red eyes glassy and bulging as he tugged weakly at his thin dyed hair.

The teenager raised his deep brown eyes to meet his. L felt a sudden craving for milk chocolate. “What stops you from tying me up again after I release him? How can I be sure you won’t go back on your deal?”

“You can’t.” L was glad he had sent Mello and Matt away in an attempt to make Light more comfortable. Mello would have flown off the handle at this dithering. “You trust me enough to handcuff yourself to me, so trust me to not to lie to you.”

“I’m not handcuffed to you because I trust you.” Light gave him a withering look. “Besides, if I help your brother, he’s likely going to repay me by skewering the fuck out of me, if I remember it right.”

L felt a twinge of anger in his chest. If BB was still his successor, that little wisecrack would have had Watari give him seven hours of detention. “He’s not my brother. He isn’t even related to me.” He snorted. “And secondly, as long as you are in my custody, we share the same fate. That means I shall protect you with my life, and in return, any attempt by you to kill me will result in Watari initiating your own death.”

Light nodded sharply, disguising his expression with a blank mask. “I understand.” He took a deep breath. “You’ve given me your word, L. I hope that means something.”

L pursed his lips. “It does, Raito-kun. Now please, before BB leaves the mortal realm.”

Light nodded again. “Yeah. Okay.” He sighed. “Four-five-one-two-zero-eight.”

The serial killer convulsing on the floor suddenly grew very still, his eyes slipping shut as his breathing evened out. L lifted his hand to his mouth and bit hard at his thumbnail, impressed. “Neurostimulation, Raito-kun?” So it wasn’t telepathy after all. Just Light Yagami’s trademark resourcefulness.

A slight smile appeared on the brunet’s face. “Two-one-one-six.”

The minute BB stirred L leapt onto him, the handcuffs towing Light forward. “What’s this I hear about you trying to stab Raito-kun to death, B?” He hissed into his ear. BB moaned, shoving him off of him.

“Damn it, L, don’t get in my face. Jesus.”

L snarled. “Answer me, you wretched excuse for a successor. What did I make you promise before taking you in?”

“I know, okay?” The murderer grumbled. “But he knows my name! And he was trying to sell me a bunch of lies, he was planning to escape and shit and I just…I lost it. I’m sorry.”

Light’s mouth dropped open faux-indignantly. “I did _not_ lie.”

BB raised an eyebrow. “You told me you’re the youngest person to ever disable a neurostimulation chip. If I’m not mistaken, for a nobleman that would come with a few pesky things like _fame_. Just because we’re fugitives doesn’t mean we’re cut off from the world.”

The brunet turned cotton-candy pink. “Yeah, you think it’s all so simple-”

L sighed. “Please don’t start, Raito-kun. I have it memorised.” He gave a weary glance. “Light is a mate. If at all he has learnt to disable neurostimulation chip in the seven months we have been apart, he would have done it in secret, under Dr. Mikami’s supervision. He wouldn’t have earned fame, that defeats the point of the Nobleman’s Treaty.”

The murderer was silent for a bit, then rolled his head back, sitting up. “So, you can actually take my chip out, then?”

Light’s answer was abrupt, unforgiving. “No.”

“No? I thought you said you didn’t lie.” BB said, scarlet eyes glinting dangerously.

Undeterred, Light smirked. “You refused my deal, Beyond Birthday. I’m not giving scum like you a second chance.”

BB did not move, but L observed his muscles tense as he grinned widely, his teeth sparkling. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you right. Did you just say you _can_ take it out, but you won’t?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I said. You should have thought twice before rejecting my offer.” The teenager narrowed his eyes arrogantly. “I wouldn’t think of associating with people like you unless I get something out of it.”

“Is that right?” The successor’s voice was soft, menacing. “I see. You don’t need to use me anymore, you managed to get L and his handcuffs. Did you know he’s used these on you before? Mello told me all about it, that was one wild night the two of you had. Mello said you hadn’t wanted to in the beginning, but you came around eventually.” He shrugged mock-casually.

L raised his eyebrows, peeved. _At least he wasn’t openly attacking yet._ “That’s enough, B. We’ll deal with your chip and whatever else they put in your brain, I promise. You’ve done enough here, and you’ve violated our agreement. Go help Watari with the Near investigation before I change my mind.”

“Sure, sure.” BB snickered as he got to his feet and began to saunter out. “No problem.” L and Light watched him warily as he passed by them on his way out, and L breathed a sigh of relief.

“Congratulations, Raito-kun. You have succeeded at initiating one of B’s plans for world domination.”

Light shook his head. “I was never going to help him. I’ve read his file. If anyone deserves a chip in his head...”

“I don’t know about that. I don’t think anyone deserves a neurostimulation chip. It is a brutal philosophy to follow.”

The brunet hugged his elbows. “It’s effective on a large scale. Killers like him deserve whatever they get, in my opinion.”

“Yes, you’ve always held that opinion.” L smiled. “Since when did you become so interested in neurosurgery?”

The teenager gave him a once-over. “I’ve always been interested in the theoretical aspects of it. The surgical part was a side-effect of Mikami. He let me watch his surgeries and practice on models.” The brunet’s smile held a wistful quality to it. “He was very encouraging through it all. He really wanted to make us work, give us something in common. And then there was that emergency extraction, one of the criminals was getting multiple severe seizures and Mikami was out of the country for a conference. He talked me through the operation and I got it out. I saved the guy’s life.” He laughed. “If we had lived anywhere but Shingata, that would have been a criminal offence.”

L felt a throb of pain in his thumb and realised he had started to nibble the skin around his fingernail. “Yes, Mikami is the dream husband, isn’t he?” He said, a touch of irony poisoning his words. If he narrated even a fraction of what the old Light had told him…

Light stopped laughing, his face going grave. “Why in the fuck am I telling you this? You _shot_ him. I don’t even know if he’s dead or alive. You consort with his patients, for God’s sake.”

The detective sighed deeply. “You don’t have to worry, Raito-kun. He’s not dead.” He shrugged. “Men as evil as Dr. Mikami Teru don’t die easily.”

There was a beat, two beats. L had almost concluded that the teenager hadn’t heard him when a hard fist smashed him in the face. The raven-haired man flew off his feet, hitting the ground with a painful thud, and Light followed suit, tumbling off balance and crashing into him, pulled by the handcuffs. On instinct, the detective stuck his leg out, catching the brunet on the cheekbone and throwing him off.

He knew Light would lunge for him again, he had never stood being second place, so L took preventive measures, grabbing him by the collar and yanking him off balance. “Raito-kun. Calm yourself.”

“Fuck you! You have no right to speak of Mikami that way!” He bellowed. “You have no right to speak of him at all!”

L took a deep breath. “Okay, Raito-kun. I understand.”

 _“Bullshit!_ You’d never understand, I couldn’t _begin_ to explain how lucky I am to have Mikami as a mate. You can crib about how he does his job or how many criminals he’s tortured, but he is a _good man_. He would never hurt anyone who hasn’t done something to deserve it! And if you tell me Beyond Birthday, who hung a woman from the ceiling by her guts while she was still alive, doesn’t deserve it, I don’t know what to tell you!”

L focussed on his breaths. _In, out, in, out_. No point getting mad at Raito-kun, he wasn’t the same person, he didn’t have the same memories. No point, no point. “It’s all a matter of perspective. I happen to consider some atrocities, such as invading the mind of a person and controlling their actions, reprehensible to say the least. As you said yourself, if we were anywhere but Shingata, it would be against the law.”

“Well, we aren’t outside Shingata, are we? You can’t blame Mikami for that.”

He couldn’t control the annoyance colouring his pale cheeks pink. “What about his vigilante work, then? Can I blame him for that? You must know about it. How he operates on criminals who haven’t been tried, or who have been tried but were declared innocent? Is that your precious law, Raito-kun? Do you think that is a criminal neurosurgeon’s job?”

“They deserve it.” Light lifted his chin obstinately. “The justice system is flawed but Mikami-”

Contempt burned like spice down his throat. “He has taken my successor. Near is in his custody for no fault of his. He was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, and your fiancé passed judgement on him. He has done _nothing_ wrong, apart from being an orphan who happened to live in a shady neighbourhood. Now he’s probably in the same state as Beyond or worse. I haven’t heard from him in months.” He gritted his teeth. “He has taken _everything_ from me, Yagami Raito. He’s taken my lover, my successor, several of my chances at freedom. So don’t you argue that he is a good man. He is just as much a criminal as the people in his operation theatre.”

There was an extended silence.

Light cleared his throat uncomfortably and L gazed at him. His auburn head was tilted slightly forward, his long fringe drooping into his caramel eyes. It was like they were meeting again. L remembered having arguments like this all the time with him, though never on the topic of Mikami.

This Light was just a softer, more innocent version of his Raito, a version who had failed to escape his castle, a version who faced an entirely different set of struggles than the man who had come to him a year ago demanding a gun and tickets for a ship to England.

 “I’m…I’m sorry about your…successor. I can’t imagine how it would feel to have someone I love on Mikami’s table, especially if he’s not guilty.” The brunet finally said.

L shrugged it off. “It’s not your fault. Near was the idiot who got captured. We’re working on rescuing him, though that is quite a task. Mikami is good at hiding people.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Light whispered, his gaze boring a hole into the floor.

L watched him for a bit, chewing contemplatively on his stubby thumbnail.

“Come with me, Raito-kun.” The detective turned around, tugging his lover out of the spare room by the chain of the handcuff. “Let’s get some work done before bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor misinformed Light. He's going to get the shock of his lifetime if L manages to open his eyes XD
> 
> Next update will be Friday or Saturday, I have exams all week and I can't afford to edit the chapter I've written :(
> 
> C'est la vie ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Review and comment!


	9. Intuition

Light had a reputation for being right.

He was famous for it, back at home, even when he was a little kid. It was so ingrained into his character that back in his early teens his father used to come to him with the files of cold cases and give them to him to study to get his opinion.

His instincts had been infallible, it was a fact. It had stayed that way for a decade and a half.

Starting from the day his father had told him about the sectioning, though, they had gone completely awry. All the situations he thought should be inappropriate were suddenly acceptable. Whenever he felt threatened, there was no threat in sight. Maybe it was the effect of growing up, maybe it was a response to the trauma of losing all his hopes and dreams, but whatever it was, it was highly inconvenient because he could no longer have full confidence in his decisions.

Like now, for example. Ever since he had been trapped by someone he knew was working with a serial killer, ever since he had met the man who called himself Ryuuzaki Rue, his intuition had been playing him a soothing, comforting love song. It was ridiculous.

It fit in perfectly with L’s story. Romeo and Juliet reunited, happiness and freedom, _trust him, trust him, trust him_. It made no sense, just look at him! Look at his repulsive posture, his choppy, messy hair, his dark circles, his ghastly complexion. Look at his audacity, breaking into his house, throwing a _rock_ through his window. Even if their story was true, even if Light really had lost his memories, would he really have associated with this…this _thing?_ How desperate must he have been to go for this weird, misshapen frog-man who looked at least five years older than himself?

Even as he sat in the office chair behind the detective with one wrist shackled like a dog on a leash, even as he observed all of the man’s colleagues whispering to each other about what to do with him, even as L looked back at him with that knowing smirk on his face, as if smugly gloating about the brunet’s downfall…

Even then, his intuition told him to trust him.

“Does Raito-kun feel sick?”

The words caught him by surprise, as if he had expected something else from that glassy, soulless midnight stare. L cocked his head, his bangs falling into his huge dark eyes. “Would Raito-kun be feeling tired? It is very late into the night, and he would perhaps already be in bed under regular circumstances.”

Light’s eyes flicked to the other man’s screen, glowing white in the relatively shadowy room. Spreadsheets and spreadsheets of information, they were trying to break into the records of the Shingata asylums. Most of the so-called successors had gone to bed a couple minutes ago. Only an old man sat at the other table, with a china cup of tea beside his keyboard as he pattered away, a pair of half-moon spectacles on his nose.

_What on Earth was this prim little old man like that doing with these psychopaths?_

“Raito-kun seems distracted. Perhaps I should move my work to our room?” L questioned.

Light jerked his head up, startled. “Our room?”

The detective cracked a smile, and Light felt like cracking his knuckles across his face. “Yes. How did you expect the handcuffs to work, otherwise?”

The teenager tried to quell the panic rising in him. “Um, I’m sorry, but can’t you just tie me up somewhere instead?”

“I asked you to make a choice. You did not choose that one. Perhaps you should have thought it through more carefully, I have already made arrangements and am loathe to change them.”

Colour rose to Light’s face. “You pervert. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? Having a teenage kid at your mercy? And a noble to boot, does it make you feel manly?”

L’s pink tongue darting out to lick the pale-blue lollipop he held in his hand. “I am deeply offended that you have such misconceptions of my intentions, Raito-kun. I cannot have you escape. I know how craftily you scheme so I will chain you to myself. It is the simplest logical solution. I am sorry for the inconvenience.”

“Sorry for the inconvenience my ass.” Light spat. “Who do you think you’re fooling? I knew this was coming, I knew it from the minute you took me. What I don’t understand is this whole charade before this.”

“It’s not a charade-” L began, but Light would not be deterred.

“There are only limited reasons you would go to all this trouble to kidnap Mikami’s mate, especially since you seem to have a personal vendetta against him. You don’t seem to want his money, considering you tried to kill him, so I know the only thing it could be is to get your vengeance by hurting someone he loves. I know it is only a matter of time before you murder me, that would be the only way to get the police off your trail. And you’ll probably rape me in the bargain-”

“Raito-kun!” The older man’s voice was shocked and hurt, and Light’s intuition cringed. _Trust him, trust him, trust him_. He was so tired, his head was aching, his limbs straining to stay tense.

“I don’t see the need to pretend. I know your friends are waiting outside, I know you have some plan. I’m not going to fight back now, because I will gain nothing from a five on one fight but bruises, but the minute Mikami finds you, L-”

L flung his lollipop at him.

It hit his cheek and fell into his lap. Puzzled, Light picked it up between his fingers from where it had caused a sticky spot on his knee and looked up at him. “What-?”

The black-haired man was obviously seething, glaring silently at him with those enormous eyes.

The strangeness of that reaction disoriented him, but the brunet kept his jaw firm, eyes sharp with whatever righteous anger he could muster. What right did that man have to be offended after all he had done? “What, did you want it to be a secret? Did you want the shock value? Is that what the charade was for, foreplay to your perverted fantasies?”

Somebody cleared their throat violently, cutting him off. Light and L looked over their shoulders at the old man at the other desk, who was giving them a strict, disapproving look out of his blue eyes.

“Mr. Yagami.” Slowly, the gentleman pushed his eyeglasses up his nose. “I advise you do not goad L further.”

 _Goad?_ The brunet’s mouth dropped open. “Excuse me-”

“Spare me the theatrics. We have all been through this once before, and you are bright enough to realise that already. How you choose to deal with this truth is your choice. If you remain in denial, so be it, but do not hurt my son in the process. This is your only warning.”

The teenager was speechless, his face burning. What was this? Light was the wronged one, he was the victim here. How dare this man treat him like he’s the aggressor? Nothing could be further from the truth!

Before Light could open his mouth, the handcuff chain at his wrist yanked him upright and sent him staggering a few steps forward out of his chair. He looked up to see L already standing near the doorway, his jaw set and lips in a pout as he carried his laptop under his arm. “Come.” He commanded as he hauled him out of the workroom and up the stairs.

Light’s wrist throbbed with pain as he stumbled behind L, trying to catch up to the pale man as he took the second door to the right in their squat little headquarters.

It was a bedroom, complete with a yellow lamp and a large bed right in the middle of it.

Light wanted to panic, looking at L as he set his laptop down on top of the mattress, his handcuff chain feeling like some sort of bondage kink…

“Come inside and shut the door.” L barked, but then seemed to think better of it. “Or leave it open, whatever suits you. I don’t care.”

Light hesitated before he reached out and gently swung the thin plywood door shut. By the time he turned around again, he saw that L had settled down on the floor at the foot of the bed with his knees pressed against the chest, his laptop screen illuminating his face.

After a pause, Light walked over and stood doubtfully in front of him. “Um…are you going to sleep on the floor?”

“Yes. I hope this minimises the discomfort Raito-kun feels around me. I will not leave him to his own devices, I am not stupid, but I can afford to give him whatever comfort is within my capacities.”

The polite well-brought-up Shingatese boy in him cringed. He hadn’t meant to kick him out of his bed or anything, but this was for the best. After all, this way they wouldn’t be sleeping together, literally or figuratively.

So why the fuck was his conscience telling him to apologise?

“Thank you.” Light compromised, sitting down on the mattress. “For the consideration.” A yawn swallowed his words. He’d probably slept three hours or so before L had invaded his home. He never felt right without six full hours of sleep. Reluctantly, the brunet turned the metal cuff around on his wrist and massaged the skin underneath. “Will you be chaining me to the bed? Once I’m asleep, you won’t be able to go anywhere.”

When Light looked down at the detective, he saw that the older man wore a wry smile, watching him out of enigmatic black eyes. L shook his head minutely, turning his attention back to his laptop. “Don’t worry, Raito-kun. I’ll deal with that when it comes up.”

Light thought about protesting that evasion of an answer, but instead opted to roll his eyes and lie down on the bed, sighing with relief as the headache he didn’t even know he’d had disappeared. “Alright. As long as you don’t wake me.” He mumbled, his thought starting to mesh together in his exhaustion.

“I certainly won’t.” L typed loudly and rhythmically on his laptop, the clicking soothing to listen to. “Goodnight, Raito-kun.” Light felt his lids close, plunging him into darkness.

His instincts spoke for him. “Goodnight, Lawliet.”

In his tired stupor, he didn’t notice L jerk upright, staring at him with dumbfounded ping-pong-ball eyes. The lights dimmed, and he faded away into the shadows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: we finally get some long-deserved backstory! 
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	10. Lawliet

In the midst of everything that could possibly be going wrong, the one thing that was preoccupying the detective’s mind was how fast his heart was beating.

He hadn’t had many opportunities for true fear, being an orphan raised within four walls and then an adult who had every one of his wishes catered to by Watari, but right now Watari was miles away, waiting for a car that would never come, and he was here in this horror show and his heart was thumping away to glory.

L was, for once in his life, completely and truly afraid.

He had so much more to lose now than when he was a child. He had escape within his grasp, a ship waiting for them to board only minutes away. It was not the imaginary embrace of his mother he was losing, it was Whammy’s House. It was the idea of living in the rolling plains of Winchester with a brilliant, beautiful man on the porch of the grand English manor as the clouds gathered over the blue sky and soaked the grass, the smell of fresh mud overwhelming them as they laced fingers.

There were four people hiding under this table. Four people who were completely and undeniably fucked, and only one person whose fault it all was. L was supposed to be the prodigy, the future greatest detective in the world, but he hadn’t bothered to check into the background of the contact who had hooked him up with the greatest advantage he had gotten since Shingata.

The traitor had been one of his contacts from England, one of his most trusted men. Oh, when he got back home, Aizawa would get it. He would realise what it meant to cross L…

He felt a warm hand enclose his and looked up to see Yagami Raito smiling ruefully up at him.

The light was muted, turning the boy’s hair coppery brown and throwing shadows over his high cheekbones. There were times his Raito-kun simply took his breath away with how beautiful he was, and now was one of those times. “Hey. Don’t obsess over it now. We need to focus on getting out, you can punish yourself later.”

They were in an abandoned warehouse, underneath a rickety metal table that shielded them from potential snipers. Quite plainly, they were surrounded. Aizawa had ratted out on them, the cavalry had appeared with full intentions of capturing a troupe of alleged anarchists. There was no way out, they were completely surrounded.

The only way out was if one of them distracted the soldiers, somehow got their attention off of one of the windows so that they could slip into the nearby alley and escape detection that way. However, if they did that, the distraction would be captured for sure. There was no way to escape a police force that huge.

Evidently, all three of his companions had thought of this as well.

“L, look, one of us has to surrender and lie about being alone.” Mello, Mihael Keehl, his second ranked successor said, pulling out the gun from his holster. “There isn’t any other way. They have us surrounded.”

As if on cue, one of the police officers outside the warehouse procured a loudspeaker from somewhere. _“We know you’re in there, you bloody anarchists! The sooner you come out, the more mercy you’ll be shown!”_

The first ranker, Near, twirled a finger in his dense white hair. “Let’s look at this logically. Who is the best sacrifice out of us four?”

L felt a burning in his gut, as if his lunch was going to propel to his throat. “We aren’t sacrificing anybody.” If they were looking at it logically, there was only one conclusion they could come to. Only one of them was guaranteed survival upon being captured, but L wasn’t going to lose him. He wasn’t going to allow this.

And by the looks of it, that person knew it just as well.

“It can’t be Mello.” Near continued, unperturbed. “He’s already on their radar with all the shit he does, there isn’t any way the police will miss that when they arrest him.”

 _“Near.”_ L growled, but his successor ignored him completely.

“It can’t be you, because even if you manage to convince them you’re not the Detective L, they’ll still connect you to Beyond and send you off to an asylum.”

Anger boiled his blood. “If you say one more damn word-”

Near pursed his lips, having reached the conclusion L and Light had come to from the very beginning.

“And it can’t be Near.” Mello completed firmly. “He was the one seen tampering with BB’s crime scenes. If they bring that up, they can put a tracker inside him for the rest of his life. We only have one option.”

There was a brief silence, punctuated only by the loudspeaker from outside. _“Come outside immediately! If you don’t, we have been given permission to open fire!”_

L curled his hands into fists as Light sat up straight, his Adam’s apple moving as he gulped. “I understand.”

“What the fuck do you understand? Sit down, Raito-kun, we’re going to come up with another plan.” L hissed.

Light closed his eyes. “There’s no other plan. You know that as well as I do.”

“Besides, we don’t have time for this.” Mello blurted. “Didn’t you hear them? They’re going to open fire!”

L felt his face heat up. “I don’t fucking care, Mello! He is not going to sacrifice himself! I will not let you go, Raito, there’s nothing you can do to make me leave you. I will surrender with you.”

Near’s words were softly spoken. “They will harm you, L. They will not harm Light, he is one of them.”

“He’s not one of them!” L bellowed. “You are a naïve idiot if you think they will leave him unharmed! Things will become worse than when he escaped in the first place! His father, his _suitor_ , I made him a promise that I would never let them take him again, and I will _honour_ that promise-”

“Lawliet.”

A smooth voice, made of silk and velvet, a voice that could become bitter as a pickle, sharp as a thorn-bush and sweet as syrup all in the space of milliseconds. A voice he had never imagined being separated permanently from, a voice that was now fiery as a pepper and hard as a stone wall.

Light’s eyes filled his vision, a dark gold that reminded him of cinnamon and honey, somehow triumphant, somewhere in there. “Lawliet. That promise isn’t just some sentimental romantic crap, I made you make that promise as insurance against being left behind when you escape. How can you escape if you’re captured and executed?”

“Yes, but how can I escape if _you’re_ captured, Raito-kun? I’m not stepping a foot off this goddamn island without you-”

“And I’m not asking you to!” Light’s tone was wheedling, the echo of a salesman on a porch, but there was a smug quality to it that no salesman should adopt. “I’m not going to stay captured, idiot. Do you have no faith in me? I’ve escaped once, I can escape again.” He winked cheekily, and L could just forget everything that was happening, he could just put his faith in the self-assured teenager and stay where he was.

“No, Raito-kun, I won’t let you return to them, I’ve seen what they’ve done to you-”

Mello groaned. “L, we don’t have the time for this! Come on, Light!” And the blonde had the nerve to grab him by the arm, yanking him up to his feet. “Let’s go!”

The rage inside L reached a peak, and he clambered forward. “Don’t you dare touch him, Mihael Keehl, you second-rate tool-”

 _“Lawliet.”_ Light snapped. He strode forward, grasping the detective by the collar and pulling him up to eye-level from his slouch. With barely a moment of hesitation, the teenager pressed his lips to his, kissing him hard, his cold hands wrapped around L’s waist and holding him close.

He pulled away, unsmiling, his eyes serious and sober. “It’s my turn to make a promise, L. I promise I will return to you. I _promise_.” He grinned crookedly. “Besides, you’re not going to sit on your ass, are you? You’re going to rescue me, and we’re going to elope to England to eat scones and crumpets.”

L’s lips quirked up for a fraction of a millisecond, before the loudspeaker from outside blared, shattering the moment. _“We’re going to count to five before we open fire! I repeat, we have you surrounded! One!”_

“That’s my cue.” Light shrugged, getting to his feet. To anyone else, he might have looked confident and in control, even bored. “Get ready to go.”

“Raito-kun, you shouldn’t-” L started, but Light cut him off with a fierce look.

“I’m not going to hear another word from you. You better make this worth it.”

Near came up next to L and nodded. “We will, Yagami. Thank you.”

Light nodded once, hooding his eyes. When he looked back at L, his face was open, and the detective could see every emotion he was feeling clear as day. Fear, panic, grief, stubbornness. The teenager squeezed his eyes shut, blanking his expression, and gave him a slight smile. “I love you, Lawliet. I’ll see you soon.”

L tried to get the words out, _he had to say it_ , but before he could the loudspeaker drowned his words out. _“Two!”_

Mello hauled him along towards the south window as Light marched to the doorway. The brunet pushed the double-doors open and put his hands up _. “I surrender!”_ He screamed out into the air, and Mello made his move, vaulting out of the abandoned window just as the forces moved away from it.

The detective complied for a time, until he heard Light’s voice pipe up again, this time shriller and more panicked. _“I surrender! I said I surrender!”_

The black-haired man whipped his head back to catch a glimpse of Light through the reflection of a window, behind the police who were closing in around him. The officer with the loudspeaker, a burly man twice the size of the teenager in front of him, ripped a weapon from his belt, a slim black Taser. Light pleaded again, _I surrender,_ before he shrieked. He clutched his gut, where the policeman had shocked him, and crumpled to his knees.

L nearly shrieked in turn, just managing to keep his mouth shut. _You better make this worth it._

He looked back once more as he ran, and he could just make out the silhouette of the policemen picking up a slender young man in a collared shirt and dragging him into a closed van.

He looked so small, so vulnerable, and obviously still conscious, shivering with pain. _Make this worth it_. They tossed his body inside like a sack of potatoes.

It wasn’t worth it.

He remembered the stories he had heard that one night, when they were both a tangled mess of limbs, the moonlight a sliver over their bodies as Light rested his head on L’s chest and told him exactly why he could never return home.

“L, get back here!” Near hissed, making a grab for his sweatshirt as he turned on his heel and sped back towards the swarm of policemen, his heart pounding in his ears, _thump, thump, thump._

“L!” He heard the white-haired boy shout as he scurried after him. He had always known Near was the more loyal one. “Don’t do it, L!”

His feet slapped against the ground, his vision tunnelled, his breath came out in bursts.

“L!”

The policemen grew closer and closer, the doors of the van slammed shut, the driver started the engine.

_“L, wake up!”_

Something slammed into his head, smacking his forehead into his keyboard and typing gibberish into the newly awakened screen. L opened his eyes to a warm room, a rough carpet under his knees, his laptop’s screen lit up a harsh white, a page of recent criminal trials displayed on it.

The white noise in his head dulled, the silence of the room sinking in.

He raised his head to meet a pair of honey-brown eyes, the teenager’s tanned face washed pale, long brown eyelashes glowing silver in the light of the laptop. “L? Are you okay?”

The detective’s words stuck in his throat. “I must’ve…” He swallowed. “I must’ve fallen asleep. While I was working.” He noticed the battered pillow lying at his side. “Did you throw that at me?”

Yagami Raito blushed red, and he almost forgot what his face looked like drawn in fear, what it looked like when they had carted him off... “You were having a bad dream and you woke me. I…got a little mad at you.”

He couldn’t help it. L found himself grinning. “Well, I apologise for waking you. I don’t think I shall be sleeping again, so you don’t have to worry.” He turned to face his computer once more, deleting the string of nonsense he had typed in his sleep.

“Um. L.” Light started hesitantly, and L looked up at him. _He looked so much like him_. “Listen, I don’t feel okay about this arrangement. I…I can sleep on the floor-”

“Shut up.” L blurted out. The brunet frowned doubtfully.

“I’m sorry?”

L ducked his head, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen. “I don’t have the time for your politeness. I know you are not actually offering to sleep on the floor. Just say what you want.”

The brunet shrugged dismissively. “Alright. Everything considered, I’ve been brought up to be considerate, so I don’t mind you sleeping in bed with me. As long as you stay on your side.”

L bit his fingernail hesitantly. The last thing he wanted after that dream was to be close to this Light, but he couldn’t turn him down. This was too much a step in the right direction. “If you say so.” He closed his laptop resolutely, plunging the room into darkness as he climbed under the covers, jostling him out of the way to make space.

He felt the mattress tilt as the teenager settled into his side, adjusting the chain of the handcuff so it didn’t dig into their skin.

They were silent for a time, but the detective could tell Light was awake by his breathing. Shallow and rough, as if he was prepping himself to say something.

And finally, it did come. “L?”

L blinked awake. “Yes?”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You…were making strange noises in your sleep. I think you were crying.”

Crying? L swiped his hand over his cheeks, finding them perfectly dry. “I am fine, Raito-kun. Thank you for the concern.”

The brunet’s voice was halting, careful. “I’m sorry for what I said back in the other room. I…I don’t quite understand what’s going on, but I’m convinced you don’t mean for anything bad to happen to me. I was out of line.”

A smile curled the detective’s lips. “You don’t have to explain. I know what you’re like when you’re tired and irritable. I forgive you.”

“I’m not asking for your forgiveness.” Light shot out. “You’re still a criminal. Your good intentions don’t mean shit. Still, I shouldn’t behave any which way just because I’m in bad company.”

L turned to his side with a sigh. After a second, he felt Light turn the opposite way.

A final thought struck him as he began to nod off. “Um, goodnight, Raito-kun.”

“Goodnight, L.” The teenager whispered under his breath, already mostly asleep.

“Not Lawliet?” L gazed at the lump of bedclothes beside him as it seemed to shrug.

“Is that your name?” Light mumbled.

L sighed. _It was worth a shot_. “Yes, but I don’t want you to call me that. Not yet, at least. L will do.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” The brunet snuggled into his sheets as he dropped easily off to sleep.

Light had always been able to do that, fall asleep anywhere and anytime like someone had flicked off a switch. L had always admired that in him, it was a convenient skill to have.

As he waited for dawn to break, L Lawliet closed his eyes and gripped the chain links of the handcuffs in his fist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Backstory chapter! It's quite late in the night so excuse me if there are editing errors XD I'll probably re-edit it soon if there's anything major.
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	11. Shower

Light’s dreams usually consisted of pretty things.

It was weird as fuck. After all, he was Light Yagami, deep thinker extraordinaire. He was the last person he expected to have long, detailed dreams about silk ribbons and kittens, but for some reason, when he woke up with the smell of pizza and cake still lingering in his nostrils, it wasn’t uncharacteristic of him at all.

He moaned, stretching his limbs. It was going to be a terrible day. His body ached, his head felt vaguely fuzzy, all he wanted to do was go back to sleep, but there was somebody shaking him awake impatiently, fucking Mikami wanted to go on a walk before his shift or something (one of these days, Light was going to sleep inside his closet, anything to keep his idiot fiancé from waking him early).

Light shoved the person hovering over him away. “I swear to God, if you don’t get out of my face-”

His wrist shot with pain as the handcuff pressed against the raw skin underneath, the chain clinking on metal.

_Holy fuck. It hadn’t been a dream._

“I apologise for the inconvenience, Yagami-kun. L requested your presence immediately.” A formal, English-accented voice enunciated, and the teenager opened his eyes in slits.

Sunlight managed to squeeze its way through the shuttered and boarded windows, highlighting the squatness of the furniture, the shabby nature of everything around him.

He propped himself up on his elbows, raising his wrist to eye-level. The chain of the handcuff was longer than he had thought, looping once around the bed and ending at the headboard, where an elderly gentleman was unlocking it to hold in his hand.

The gentleman smiled congenially. “L has an erratic sleep schedule. He had chained you to the bedpost for a majority of the night. I hope you had a good sleep. If you will follow me, I’ll show you to the bathroom.”

Light ran his hand over his face, waking himself up. He needed himself alert, especially with the old man holding the handcuff like it was the end of an actual leash, but it was so easy to just cave to their good manners and the instinct telling him everything was alright. _I thought you were better than this, Yagami Raito._

He swung his legs off of the bed, getting to his feet and giving the gentleman a reluctant nod. “I’d like that, thank you.”

“You need not thank me, Yagami Raito.” The Englishman began to walk, leading him out of the room into the corridor that bordered the edge of the main room where he could see the redheaded Matt, the kid who seemed to think of him as one of his best friends. He cleared his throat. “I am indebted to you. We all are. You saved our lives with your sacrifice, after all.”

Light chewed on his lip, his nails niggling at the skin of his palm. “Sacrifice?”

The old man nodded understandingly. “Ah, right. You turned yourself in to the authorities to save my sons. I’m told that’s how your fiancé found you. It was a great sacrifice, Yagami-kun, and don’t think we forget things like that.” He bowed respectfully as he walked. “You may refer to me as Watari, by the way.”

Turned himself in to the _authorities?_ Ah, of course, he was supposed to have been a fugitive for some reason. He had to figure out how to use this information, but it was so consistently bizarre that he had no clue what to do with it.

“Here we are.” Watari stopped, opening the door leading into a bare-bones restroom lit with a single yellow bulb, the head of a shower at the far left corner. “L prepared it for you beforehand. He left some clothes on the rack there.”

Light finally felt the prick of hope blossoming in his chest. He could use this, he could hunt this room for an advantage of any kind, he could have an edge on them. All he needed was a blade to stick inside his shirtsleeve or some soap he could use to slide his hand out of his cuff, and then he could find BB, threaten him with his neurostimulation chip and get home free.

He stepped into the bathroom with a wide smile that dimmed slightly when his escort followed him inside.

Light let out a nervous laugh, twisting the cuff around his wrist. “Watari-san, I thought I was to take a bath.”

“Yes, you are.” The old man said complacently.

Light fidgeted. “Um, are you going to…stay inside?”

“I understand your distress, Yagami-kun. Unfortunately, L deems it necessary that you are to be watched at all times, and with your allegations against him last night, he thinks it is better if I observe you rather than him.”

 _Observe?_ “I-I don’t think I’m comfortable with this-”

Watari broke into a gentle smile, pointing at the shower head. “There are curtains, you see? I won’t breach your privacy. I only need to make sure you don’t have anything on your person or meddle with anything in such a way that our identity or mission is compromised.”

Light hugged his elbows, thinking. Common sense was telling him to just not budge, refuse the bath and stay in stinking clothes for the sake of his dignity. However, _however_ , Watari had just said he wasn’t going to watch him in the shower (oh, the thought of that). All he needed to do was find something in _there_ to use.

The brunet nodded jerkily, loping over to the shower and pulling the curtains shut, glancing at his surroundings and doing a double take. Nothing, not even soap.

As if able to read his mind, Watari spoke. “It’s all outside, Yagami-kun. I shall place them near the edge of the curtain and you may pick them up.”

 _Damn it._ Light almost gave up on the whole exercise, except he could smell himself. Let nobody think Yagami Raito was okay with smelling like three-day-old takeout food (what had that bed held before him?).

“You may place your clothes on the floor and slide them outside.” Watari suggested, and Light suppressed a groan.

Oh well. He sighed heavily as he unbuttoned his shirt, readying himself for the most awkward experience of his life.

* * *

The halls were too wide for one person, even with the wheelchair.

Mikami had bought this manor with a family in mind. Neither he nor Raito had expected to be selected for the sectioning, so both of them (presumably) had had having children as one of their goals in life. Not that Mikami regretted this for an instant, he would have traded any number of families for his life with Raito, but it was a thought. He had always thought that the righteous should convert as many as possible from the paths of the criminals, and one way to do that was to pick up children in poverty and raise them under their roof.

For some reason, things with Raito just weren’t going as fast as he had wanted it to in the beginning. It had been more than a year since they had initially gotten engaged, and they were still unmarried. Yes, most of that was because of Light’s expedition into the wild, and perhaps a little bit of Mikami’s admittedly harsh treatment of his mate in the beginning.

He remembered the engagement party, how the brunet had been disdainful and icy throughout the proceedings. Yes, maybe Mikami was no one to speak, being drunk and tipsy all evening, but Raito had been flat-out rude.

He’d run away from home three days later.

After that, Mikami had been separated from Light for half a year, constantly hunting for any sign of him with his father. Later, during his confession, they’d discovered that he had been working as a kind of freelance detective to support himself, doing charity work for the poor and associating with anarchists in his free time. But while he was doing all that, for six months Mikami had thought him dead.

He regretted everything. He regretted the drunken nights, the punishments, listening to Yagami Soichiro tell him how to discipline his son. He regretted every moment he had spent hurting him.

Maybe it was understandable for a nineteen year old to balk at the prospect of marrying a man who followed Yagami Soichiro’s methods. He probably hadn’t adjusted to it, even if he had grown up under its influence. Perhaps he had expected to escape his abusive household through his marriage, and Mikami had dashed his hopes to the ground.

Mikami knew he had been wrong, and he made every effort to make up for his mistakes. The undertaking had been a second chance for him, a chance to use everything he had learnt to actually court the only person he could stand in this wretched world.

And it hadn’t been enough. They had never gotten to even fix a date for the marriage because of Light’s extended recovery period, let alone discuss starting a family. Maybe Mikami was destined to spend his life wondering if Yagami Raito was alive because if he wasn’t running away on his own, he was being stolen away by terrorists.

Who they were the doctor didn’t know, but he knew that just because they had managed to wipe his anarchist run from the brunet’s mind didn’t mean his ties to that world had disappeared with it. They should have thought about it before, they should’ve taken measures to ensure his safety. Who knew what kind of goons Raito had pissed off? He was a strong personality, after all.

Seven months ago, they had managed to wipe the slate clean. Now, the minute he found his Raito alive and well, he would wash the slate down, he would make it so nothing from that world could ever hurt his family again.

The doctor’s polished shoes gleamed from the footrest of his wheelchair as he hummed along down the corridor. He had refused a caretaker. He was Dr. Mikami Teru, he performed surgeries on the worst criminals in Shingata, he didn’t need a nurse to take care of him for bloody gunshot wounds.

Besides, he was going to be fine. The bullets had lodged themselves into bone rather than muscle, it was easy to fix. In fact, the doctor had assured him that he would even be able to start operating again in a month. Only the best treatment for the great Dr. Mikami Teru.

He rolled his way towards his study, his finger firm on the button that kept him moving at an even pace, when he noticed something off about his surroundings.

A couple feet ahead was Raito’s room, and its door was ajar.

Sweat broke out over Mikami’s brow. He considered calling security but ultimately decided against it. If there was yet another anarchist inside his home, he would deal with it himself. He would show them exactly what five years of med school taught him about human anatomy.

He pressed the button, the chair sweeping along until he had reached the cracked-open door, feeling a sense of déjà vu as he shoved it open. It had looked exactly this way last night…

There was a flurry of movement inside as the intruder ducked into a hiding spot, and Mikami felt the blood boil. “Who the fuck are you? I can see you there! How dare you enter my fiancé’s room?” He said in his most authoritative voice.

He heard a squeak come from inside the closet.

It sounded distinctly of Raito. Not that that said much, almost everything reminded him of Raito ever since he got back from the hospital, but he had heard the boy make that exact same sound once, when he had spilt soup over Mikami’s hand while serving it.

The doctor directed his wheelchair into the room, making sure not to scratch the bed. “Sayu-chan. Get out here before I call your father.”

There was a begrudging huff, and the closet door creaked open. A lanky girl with long brown hair stepped out, her arms crossed over her chest obstinately. Her lips were stuck in a pout. “What do you want?”

“What do _I_ want?” Mikami was incredulous. “What were you doing sneaking through my fiancé’s belongings?”

“He’s not your fiancé, he’s my brother.” She scowled, turning a strange pebble-like object round and round in her hands. Mikami made a grab for it, but Sayu hopped neatly out of the way. “And don’t be stupid, Mikami-san. The police have already looked in here, they’re not going to bother looking again.”

 _“Excuse_ me? Who do you think you’re calling stupid? I’m going to call your father this instant, you insolent whelp-”

Sayu’s chocolate brown eyes narrowed, and there was a tinge of pink across her cheeks. She pulled her coat tighter around herself, slipping the object into her pocket. Her upturned nose rose in the air, a shadow of her brother’s haughty expression. “You’re such a fucking coward.”

That caught Mikami off-guard. “W-what? What the hell-?” He spluttered, shocked at her language. The brunette glared at him.

“You’re a coward. I told my father this the first time you came to court Raito last year, I knew it from the very beginning. Unfortunately, my opinion didn’t count for much, and neither did Raito’s. We all know why my father had Raito marry you, it’s not because you’re a good man. You’re a shitty mate and a shitty human being.”

Mikami’s ears burned. “Who the fuck do you think you are, to talk like this about me inside my house?”

Her laughter was tinkling, like water in a basin. “What are you going to do, Mikami-san? Tell on a sixteen year old girl to her father? Am I being too rude?”

Her amused expression dropped abruptly, her eyes glinting. “You selfish bastard. You’ll care about my brother as long as it suits you, as long as he’s the pretty little chocolate boy on your arm. But he’s not a decoration, Mikami-san. Damn it, _I’m_ more of a decoration than he is. If everything had gone according to plan, if my father had sectioned me instead of him like he was supposed to, I would have been able to deal with this life. I would have been able to deal with _you_. I don’t know what all you’ve done to my brother to make him submit, Mikami Teru, but I’m going to make sure you pay for it.”

The doctor’s mouth had fallen open. “What _I’ve_ done to him?” _She didn’t know about the undertaking. The only people who knew were himself and Soichiro, nobody else. He had even done the operation himself, there was no way she knew…_ “What the hell have I done to him? He’s been kidnapped by anarchists!”

“And look what you’re doing about it.” Sayu spat, striding past his wheelchair out of his room, her hand pressed into her pocket, keeping whatever object she had stolen out of Raito’s room in place. “I’m going to find my brother, and when I bring him back, I’m going to force my father to see sense about you. My brother’s mistakes aren’t big enough to warrant lifelong punishment.”

“Hey!” Mikami growled. He attempted to turn his wheelchair in its place to follow her but hit the side of the cupboard hard, the frame of the chair shuddering. “Get back here, you brat! What’s that in your pocket?”

The girl didn’t answer, walking briskly away. He fiddled exasperatedly with the button until he managed to get his chariot under control, zooming his way out of the room to catch up with her. “Sayu, I’m going to tell your father all about this! You’re going to regret every word you said-”

Sayu’s phone buzzed loudly, belting out the bars to a famous pop song by hit noble idol Ryuga Hideki, and the girl whipped it out, tilting slightly to the side and cupping her mouth as if that was an effective shield against Mikami’s eavesdropping. _The nerve of the girl, she was as bad as Raito…_

“Hello?” The girl started, then frowned, looking straight ahead.

A pause. “I didn’t order any pizza…”

Mikami frowned as she cocked her head to the side. “Yes, this is Yagami Sayu. Yes, I’m the daughter of Yagami Soichiro.”

She waited a few moments and snorted. “No, I’m not his sister-in-law. My brother’s not married, and he’s not likely to be if I have any say in it. Why are you asking me this anyway? I told you I didn’t order anything.” A few more seconds, and she raised her eyebrows incredulously. “Are you serious? He ordered it with my father’s money?” And then, the brunette turned to give Mikami a piercingly contemptuous look.

She pressed mute on the screen of her cellphone. “You serious, Mikami? My brother was kidnapped last night. He’s probably starving and frightened out of his mind, and you order pizza? I can’t believe you.”

The doctor blinked blankly. “What are you talking about?”

The girl rolled her eyes, going back to her call. “Cancel it, thank you. If he wants to waste money, the asshole can waste his own.”

Mikami was baffled. “I haven’t ordered anything, I’m on meds. I can barely taste regular food.”

Sayu ignored him, absorbed in the call. “What?” She sounded confused. “How do you know about that? It’s only been some twenty-four hours. He only just got out of the hospital.” She drummed her fingers on her elbow. “Oh, gossip magazines! Tell them he’s absolutely fine, though between you and me, I wish the anarchist had aimed just a little lower. A hole through the heart would have kept him out of my father’s credit card for sure.”

Her laughter rang out loudly. “Yeah, keep that a secret. Thank you, Ryuuzaki-san. I’m sorry about the cancelled order. Bye!”

Sayu snapped her phone shut and faced Mikami’s severe glare.

“What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of fluff and some Mikami douchebaggery to keep you going! 
> 
> I always enjoyed the idea of Watari being just as perverted as L, he had to have learnt it somewhere XD
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	12. Watari

Watari was reasonably sure that the presence of Yagami Raito in the house was driving his ward insane.

He had known from the very beginning that L was an unbalanced child, strange and eccentric. The Englishman had taught him to put on an emotionless mask to make up for his abysmal social skills, but it used so much of his energy that when he took it off his emotions went absolutely haywire.

Of course, he wasn’t comparing him to Beyond or Mello. In the Whammy household, haywire was very relative.

“Your wrist, please.” The former inventor reached out and took Yagami’s hand, clicking his handcuff back on.

The handcuffs was another example of L’s obliviousness. Watari was sure he didn’t grasp the seriousness of his actions in a social context. The fact that Light was complying without complaint was incredible, he was sure this Shingatese teenager was the only one perceptive enough to understand L’s strangeness on some level.

Either that, or he was frightened out of his mind, but something told Watari that this boy didn’t scare easily.

Yagami Raito fidgeted with the long sleeves of the maroon shirt he wore over baggy jeans, evidently bothered by the roughness of the material. The quality must have been a far cry from his usual clothing, these had belonged to one of the orphans from Roger’s orphanage.

“This way, Yagami-kun.” Watari placed a gentle hand on the small of the teenager’s back, and the boy flinched, trotting a few steps forward with his head bowed. The old man sighed. As expected, he hadn’t taken so well to the monitored shower.

Watari couldn’t empathise. Living at Whammy’s House for the past twenty years had hardened him against sensibilities such as privacy. It wasn’t easy managing a house full of eccentric geniuses.

The inventor rubbed his thumb over the hinge of the cuff he held in his hand. L had gotten these long handcuffs from Roger himself, a legacy of his and Watari’s kinky youth. Back then, it had gone unsaid that L was really keeping it so that Mello wouldn’t get his hands on it, forget actually using it himself. After Raito had entered his life, though…

“Watari-san?” The boy walking in front of him whispered in a gravelly voice, breaking him out of his thoughts. The Englishman immediately snapped alert.

“What is it, Yagami-kun?”

The teenager hugged his elbows, his chin tilted down towards his chest. “Watari-san, what is L going to do with me?” His tone was vulnerable, innocent, childlike, obviously appealing to Watari’s sensitivities to orphans.

Quillish Whammy, Watari, the guardian of the future world’s greatest detective and his successors, knew an act when he saw one.

“What do you think L is going to do with you, Yagami-kun?” Watari said, a twinkle in his eye. Light didn’t seem to notice the sarcasm, folding tighter into himself.

“I-I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to want to hurt me, but…but if he isn’t going to hurt me, why doesn’t he just let me go? All I am is a burden on him, and on you, evidently.”

The old man smiled. “I’m sure everybody’s told you everything you need to know at this point. What exactly do you want from me?”

“I…” The brunet fixed him with those wide, appealing amber eyes. “I was just hoping…maybe you could help me? Maybe we can help each other? If I’m gone, you don’t have to waste so many resources keeping me restrained, and I can guarantee you I won’t talk, because-”

“Yagami Raito.” The Englishman interjected. “I don’t make a point of betraying my sons. And if you try to escape, know this. I am a black-belt in karate and have been trained in the art of sharpshooting by Olympic-level professionals.”

That stunned him. His eyes swept over the elderly gentleman’s unassuming form.

Watari chuckled. “I need not be young to have skills, dear boy, and my son has told me enough about you to ensure you have no physical training apart from a brief stint at middle-school tennis.”

Light’s mouth dropped open, terribly offended, but before he could say anything, they reached the landing and the old man stopped in his tracks.

“What on Earth is going on?” Watari asked faintly.

 _“Pack it up! Matt, get your ass on the move! Pack up the computer!”_ Mello was screaming at the top of his lungs. Beside him, Misa was mimicking his posture mockingly, cupping her hands around her mouth.

 _“L-san! On your feet! Do some work, this is your fault anyway!”_ Misa screeched merrily. _“Beyond-san! Come on out, you’ve got to do your part too!”_

Watari strode forward, yanking Light along by the handcuff, looking for the sanest member of the household as of that moment. Currently, Mello looked delirious with fury, Misa was being her usual airhead self, Beyond was still locked up in the office and L was sitting in his crouch on the floor, giving everyone a flat, absent look.

Matt it was, then.

“Matt!” Watari boomed, and the redhead dropped the computer he was shifting. Mello shrieked, loping over and smacking the third-ranked successor over the head. Matt grimaced, rubbing it resentfully as he turned to face his mentor.

“What do you want?” He asked, pulling on the strap of his orange-tinted goggles.

The old man pursed his lips. “Why are you packing, Matt?”

“Ugh.” Mail Jeevas groaned. “Don’t ask. L messed up.” He sighed, going to assist Mello with the rest of the stuff they were hauling towards the still-locked door.

On hearing his name, L blinked sluggishly. His large dark eyes snapped to his guardian, and then to Raito, who was standing behind him, acting like he was frightened by the proceedings. A large smile stretched the detective’s lips, likely without his knowledge.

“Hello there, Raito-kun.” He sprung to his feet. “You look...fresh.” Watari almost sighed with relief. At least L hadn’t been blatantly honest about his views on how attractive their hostage looked.

Light rolled his eyes, and Watari noticed the tension lift from his shoulders, as if talking to L was easier than dealing with the rest of his situation. “Yeah, no shit. You made me take a shower.”

 _“Made_ you? I suppose Raito-kun didn’t notice the smell of week-old Kung Pao lingering around him.”

The teenager snorted with laughter, much to Watari’s incredulity. “Maybe I’d be more grateful if you didn’t have your father watching me the whole time.”

“Guardian.” L corrected, walking closer and reaching for the cuff in Watari’s hand without breaking eye-contact with the brunet. “And I was of the opinion that there’s a curtain in that bathroom.”

Light raised his eyebrows. “Why do you say that like it makes it okay? Is this how the peasants bathe?”

 _“Peasants?_ Is that what the nobles call the masses these days?” L’s fingers scrabbled unseeingly over Watari’s hand as the old man gripped the cuff tightly in his fist. The detective gave him a baffled look.

“Give me the cuff, Watari.”

Watari narrowed his eyes. “L.”

“What?”

And with that, he exploded. “L, _what_ _is going on? Why are you packing? How did you mess up? What is this nonsense?”_ It had been years since he had raised his voice over a polite command. His throat wasn’t quite used to it anymore.

The entire room fell dead silent. Mello, Matt and Misa stared blankly at them as L reeled back.

“Watari…” Mello breathed, startled. “Jesus, you’ll have a heart attack.”

The founder of Whammy’s House gritted his teeth together. “L, answer me this instant or I will…” He thought for a second. “I will have _Misa_ take over supervision of Yagami-kun.”

Misa squealed. “Does that mean Misa gets to be _handcuffed_ to him?” She bounced over to them, yipping. “Mello told Misa all about your problem, Raito-kun! Misa will be careful! Misa will be nicer than _L_ -san-”

L elbowed her out of the way. “Look, Watari, it’s not really an issue-”

 _“Not an issue?”_ Mello growled from his spot by the boxes. “We have to leave this headquarters because of you!”

The detective shrugged. “We had to leave it soon anyway. It’s been two weeks.”

“Yeah, but _still!”_

L shook out his thick black hair. “I may have forgotten the third layer of the satellite scrambler when I made a call. But in my defence, nobody’s going to check.”

Matt snickered as he repacked the computer and began to heft it out. “Nobody’s going to check? Just ask him who he called.”

Watari covered his eyes with his hand. “Who did you call?”

L mumbled something under his breath.

 _“L.”_ Watari barked, and his ward crossed his arms.

“Sayu Yagami.” He muttered.

Light blinked.“What?”

Misa hopped about happily, splaying her hands out. “L-san made a mistake! Misa gets to be handcuffed to her Raito!”

“Why on Earth were you calling the daughter of Soichiro Yagami, L?”

The spindly man shrugged. “The investigation is at a halt until we break through their security, there is a 20% chance that Soichiro Yagami’s favoured child is given access to files for her grooming into the noble database, so we can use a sample of her voice. Besides…” He scuffed his foot against the floor, his cheeks pink. “I probed her for information about Mikami.” He glanced at Light bashfully. “To answer your doubts about his well-being, Raito-kun, he’s fine and doing well, the bullets barely fazed him.”

The brunet broke into a wide grin. “L, wow, thank you-”

“See? L’s compromiiiiiised.” Matt sang as he piled up a final box of their equipment in front of the front door. “You should be calling Roger, Watari, we’ll need to squat at the orphanage for a bit before Mello gets us a new place to stay from his mafia pals.”

Watari sighed, resigned. “Yes, I suppose I’ll do that. Give me five minutes, I’ll arrange everything.” He began to walk back to his room to fetch his phone and few belongings, halting when he remembered the handcuff still in his hands.

L reached out expectantly. “I’ll take that, Watari. You may go about your business.”

“Oh, no, no.” The Englishman held it out of his grasp. “No, L. You know the Whammy House motto.”

“How could we ever forget? You remind us every day.”

“And it seems you require reminding.” Watari puffed up haughtily and Mello and Matt burst into laughter. _“The one who wins in the end is the winner._ It’s a perfectly good slogan.”

“I fail to see the relevance of this, Watari. Give me the handcuff-” L pleaded.

There was a creak from the landing, and BB banged the office door open, rubbing his temple wearily, eyes bloodshot and face pale. Surveying the room, the murderer grunted. “Great, Professor X is still here. I’ll stay in the office until we need to leave. Don’t forget to wake me.” The serial killer turned on his heel and slammed the door shut on them again.

Watari, in the meantime, had pried the cuff from L’s hands and held it primly in the air.

“The winner of this scenario, is neither me nor you, my son. It is Amane Misa. Misa-chan, I know you will be vigilant.”

The blonde woman squawked with pleasure when the gentleman clicked the cuff locked around her tiny wrist. “Oh my god, Misa can’t believe this. _Misa gets to be handcuffed to her Raito!”_

“Perhaps this will teach you something about responsibility.” Watari remarked as L fumed.

“And in the meantime, I suppose we should make preparations to transport our guest on our cross-country drive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to get them moving sometime XD and damn, at least this makes Misa happy. She deserves a little happiness in life.
> 
> I've had a row of holidays this week, so I wrote a looot of chapters. So be prepared for another update soon! (I hope I don't clutter your inboxes XD)
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	13. Cheesecake

“Ooh, Raito-kun is hungry!”

Misa could not remember a time when she had not been madly in love with Yagami Raito. Sure, it had been only half a year that they had been near each other, and sure, he had been in a passionate relationship with L the whole time, but that didn’t change anything. In her heart, Misa knew she and Raito were soulmates, if not romantically then spiritually. They were meant to be, and nothing could change her mind.

The model giggled, poking Raito where she knew he was ticklish and savouring in his embarrassed squeak. They had cuffed his hands behind his back and his ankles together so he couldn’t run, because according to Mello, he wanted to now. Apparently, Mikami had brainwashed him into becoming a typical noble (she had met enough of those in her modelling career, ugh) who didn’t remember anything about the Whammy kids, their escape plan or L.

The first thought that had popped into Misa’s head when Mello told her that had been _now’s my chance_. She had to admit that, because she was learning the art of meditation from Watari and one part of the learning process had been cleansing her mind of hateful thoughts. Taking L’s lover away from him when he obviously still loved him was one heck of a hateful thought. Misa-Misa had more honour than that!

But that didn’t stop her from playing with him. Nobody could stop her from messing with Raito-kun, not even Raito-kun himself.

The teenager in question was giving her a resentful look from under his bangs.  Misa grinned smugly. “Does Raito-kun want Misa to stop ticking him when he is tied up?”

 Slowly, the brunet shut his eyes. “I’d really appreciate it, thanks.” He gritted out, looking fixedly away.

Misa smothered her giggles. “Well, Raito-kun thanked Misa too soon, because Misa’s not going to stop!” Determinedly, the girl stabbed her fingers into his side, snickering when he yelped.

“What on Earth was that?” He snapped, his face pink as the ribbons on her dress. “That can’t even be classified as tickling. God, at least do it right.”

Oh, he was exactly like she remembered him. “Sorry Misa isn’t an expert! She’s never had anyone to try it on before except Raito-kun!” She protested. “Mello only shoves her away and threatens to shoot her!”

From the corner of the van, beside where BB was dozing off, the blond ex-gangster tossed his head, polishing the handle of his pistol as Matt held his chocolate for him. “I will, you know. You’re dispensable.”

“Misa isn’t dispensable! Mello loves Misa. Everyone loves Misa!” Misa declared, throwing her hands out. Her gaze landed on the snoring BB, and her expression soured slightly. “Okay, maybe except Stalker-san.”

Light frowned, his weight shifting as he tried to get comfortable with his bonds. “Beyond stalked you? How did you get him to not kill you?”

Misa rolled her eyes. “Raito-kun already knows Misa’s story.”

She braced herself for his reaction. Anytime she hadn’t answered one of his questions directly, he always, _always_ did something like, say, kiss L in front of her or grab the detective’s ass. Something to drive in the point that she was never supposed to waste his time. She had gotten the impression that old Light, deep inside his heart, didn’t like her very much.

New Light, though, when he heard her deflect his question, got a crooked little smile on his lips that had her heart beating a thousand miles a minute. He simpered charmingly. “You caught me, Amane-san.” His voice was sickly sweet, so sarcastic it made her pucker. “I obviously know your story. That’s why I asked.”

Matt snorted with laughter, but Misa gasped, her cheeks flooding with heat. He was bantering with her, he was making a joke with her!

“W-well, if Raito-kun wants to hear it again, Misa doesn’t mind telling it!” She fumbled with her words, flustered. “Misa was a non-noble model who was kicked out because she is very, very anarchist. The nobles didn’t punish the murderer of her parents, so Misa thought she should obviously go to the anarchist ways if she wanted to get revenge. She tried blowing up the building where the murderer lived, but some evil people, including Stalker-san, had stalked her because she had blown up their hideout as practice. She was about to die when Mello saved her life and took her home.”

Light raised his eyebrows. “You’re a legitimate anarchist, then? The violent kind?”

“Yeah.” Misa sighed. “Raito-kun has never liked that about Misa, but Misa can’t help it. It’s in the past, though. After Raito-kun got her parents’ murderer captured and killed by a gang through his anonymous detective tips as Kira, Misa never tried to plant another bomb.”

The brunet frowned, pensive. “So I didn’t just create a pseudonym to solve crimes, I also got them judged by the peasant mafia instead of the authorities?”

“Of course! And for that, Misa is eternally grateful to Raito-kun!” She tossed her head perkily, striking a pose, and to her absolute delight, Light laughed. She squealed, clapping her hands together.

“Misa made Raito-kun laugh! Raito-kun never used to laugh before!”

From the corner, Mello’s redheaded boyfriend slipped his orange goggles off his eyes. “Of course he laughed, Misa. He just didn’t laugh with you.” He sounded almost offended, as if Misa had insulted a close friend.

Misa didn’t understand why everyone seemed so stuck on trying to bring back the old Light. Last night, she had overheard a long conversation between Matt and Mello about it, before Watari threw away his cake. She understood that it was inconvenient transporting this Light since, obviously, he wanted to escape and return to the creepy pervert Mikami, but…but he seemed so much happier than before. On a general basis, at least. He was brighter, as if someone had replaced the old flickering lightbulb in him with three new ones.

She was just about to say something of that kind when she heard an odd rumbling and burst into laughter. “Oh, Raito-kun is hungry! Misa totally forgot!”

Light turned beet-red, drawing his knees up to his chin.

“It’s okay, Raito-kun! Misa knows for a fact that L-san will always have a candy bar with him! She’ll just go get one!” She hopped up, starting to flounce towards the detective when the handcuff jingled and pulled Raito forward.

The teenager groaned, adjusting his hands behind his back so the cuffs didn’t dig into his wrists. “Do you really have to keep me handcuffed to you? I can’t move anyway.”

Misa tapped her chin thoughtfully, glancing at Mello. “Do I?”

Redheaded Matt crossed his arms. “She really doesn’t. This whole thing is stupid. Light isn’t going to sabotage anything.”

Mello licked his lips, sticking a round of bullets into his revolver. Watari had put him in charge, since he knew Matt wasn’t aggressive enough to get everyone to listen. It was a position he really wasn’t used to (not that anyone was used to L not being in control). “Eh, it’s okay, I guess. I have a loaded gun. Here.” He tossed the keys to Misa, who grinned as she unlocked the cuff and handed them back.

“Thank you, Mello!” She blew him a kiss and skipped off to the back of the van near the doors where L was moping. Underneath the bravado and swagger, Mello was a big old sweetheart. Misa loved him best of the Whammy kids.

Hmm. Why was everyone who rescued her gay?

It was a fleeting thought, but it wriggled into her conscious mind like a rabid worm. When was she going to find her epic romance if everyone who she fell in love with ended up being homosexual? It was becoming a bit of a pattern. Not that she regretted falling in love with Raito, she would never do that, but it would be nice to get someone who would appreciate Misa the way she wanted to be.

Oh well. She threw the thoughts away. She was Amane Misa, she wouldn’t stay single for long. It was physically impossible.

She came to a couple boxes holding their technological luggage, behind which L had holed up to mope for the rest of the ride to the orphanage because of what Watari had said. Misa felt herself salivate as she watched him cut a new slice of his blueberry cheesecake and stick it into his mouth, but shook her head, dispelling the thought. She couldn’t consider eating cake, it would make her fat.

She was about to beckon him and ask for a piece for Raito when she noticed that he wasn’t working on his laptop to find Near like everyone else thought he was. He was…writing. With a ballpoint pen. In a dull-blue weathered-down diary with a lock on the cover.

She didn’t even know L _could_ write. She had never seen him do it. All day everyday it was just typing and typing on his laptop, click-click-click. Quickly, she ducked behind the boxes and peeked into the page he was scribbling on.

She squinted, reading the words on the top of the page. It was…a list. _Differences_.

The first entry, _Eyes:_ _wider-set, flit around, less wary and suspicious._

_Humour: Less biting, less aggressive, more good-natured._

_Response to close contact: Does not flinch, does not respond badly to contact unless consciously determined to be ill-intentioned._

_Disposition: Less obviously arrogant. Still charming and manipulative. Contains resentment for family but not enough to cause a complex._

_Martyr Complex: Untested._

_Moral code: Has the same utilitarian point of view, but supports the nobles this time._

_Superiority complex: Unchanged._

_Intelligence: Unchanged._

_Responses to Stress: Unchanged. However, capable of stopping destructive behaviour such as scratching his palm with his nails when pointed out._

_Overall Conclusion: Naïve innocence and lack of memory of previous traumas indicates retrograde amnesia. Possible culprits may be torture (25%), hypnotism (15%), neurodegenerative disease (5%), surgery (50%) or other (5%). Lack of family history and age keeps disease at a low probability while fiancé’s profession increases likelihood of surgery. However, reason for subject’s lack of suspicion about the surgery and apparent explanation for the same to be investigated._

_Hello, Amane Misa._

Misa squawked, her hands over her mouth as L gave her a dry look, crossing out the last line and shutting the notebook firmly. “Do you make a habit of spying on people, Amane-san?”

“Um…” She gave him a sheepish grin. “Raito-kun wanted cake!”

L raised his eyebrows disbelievingly. “He wants _cake?”_ He glanced over at Light, who had settled into a squat with his back against the wall, grimacing at his lap.

There was a long pause, and Misa was half-sure L was just going to ignore the whole thing and whip out his laptop for good measure when he suddenly pushed his plate of nibbled blueberry cheesecake towards her.

The model blinked. “But you’ve eaten from that.”

“It’s the last of the sweets. We didn’t pack much when we left.”

“Aw, but then you won’t have anything, L-san!” Misa protested, but the pale man only gave her a flat look before flipping open his notebook again.

Misa shrugged, picking up the plate. If it didn’t matter to L, it didn’t matter to her. She held it carefully in her hands like a waitress, trying not to slip and fall with every bump the van went over.

When she finally reached her Raito-kun and glanced back over her shoulder, L was scribbling furiously into his notebook and Misa hid a smile.

* * *

The van was a lot smaller than he remembered.

He’d seen countless examples of this in his father’s cases as a kid. A woman swore from the depths of her heart that the knife her husband had brandished was the size of her forearm; the man who had been cornered by a peasant in an alley had seen a ratty monster; anarchists in crowded places transform from unassuming citizens to tattooed, muscular beasts.

But then again, perhaps the reason the van looked so much tinier now was the number of people in it. Mello and Matt, sitting in the corner fawning over his various illegal weapons, with BB taking yet another nap nearby, trying his hardest to ignore him through unconsciousness, as if Light couldn’t wake him in an instant.

L, who was hiding in the corner, probably looking for that successor of his who had been captured by Mikami, and, of course, Misa. Misa, who had forgotten L’s purpose for the handcuffs and fallen into his trap.

For once in this whole ordeal, there weren’t a pair of eyes scrutinising his every move. This wasn’t going to happen again, it was his only chance. Light put his master plan into action.

So far, apart from BB’s chip, which was part of his end game, Light had a single other card in his deck: his constant sympathiser, Mail Jeevas. The redhead had a soft spot for him, a guardian angel who had been one of his best friends in his apparent previous life.

But what really interested Light wasn’t any of that. It was the mobile phone sticking out of the pockets of his baggy jeans.

It was tiny, easily concealed and disposable, a device that contained neither contacts nor any chance of being tracked. The pocket was too oddly shaped for it, so it stuck out at a strange angle. Light knew if he could only touch it with his fingers, he could have it fall out onto the ground and into his embrace.

The brunet shut his eyes, fishing for a story. It didn’t take long, if there was anything Light had in plenty, it was excuses.

“Hey, uh, Matt?”

Matt blinked, startled, looking up from the pistol on his leather-clad friend’s lap and giving Light a tentative smile. “What’s up?”

Light cleared his throat shyly, keeping his amber eyes on his lap. “Um…” He tested the length of his bindings behind his back. “Do you mind loosening my handcuffs? They’re really digging into my skin.”

Matt got a rueful look on his face, but just before he stood up Mello’s icy blue gaze snapped to Light.

 The expression on his face was almost frightening in its intensity, and Light had only just made a mental note to avoid acting suspiciously around this guy when the blonde’s eyes softened with what looked like guilt. “I tried to make them as loose as possible.” Mello said softly, blue eyes sweeping over him.

What was this development? Why was he giving him that apologetic look? Was he another potential pawn?

Light licked his bottom lip, his line of sight dipping back to his lap. “Oh. I guess it can’t be helped, then.”

“No, no, Light. It’s fine. I’ll loosen it.” Mello said hastily, scrambling up, and Light’s eyes widened in alarm. _No, Mello wasn’t supposed to come help him. Matt was the one with the phone!_

Some of his panic must’ve shown on his face because the blonde stopped in his place, his hand frozen in the pocket of his leather vest. “Light? What happened?” Slowly, he furrowed his brow. “Are you…afraid of me?”

 _Brilliant!_ Light ducked his head nervously, playing the sentiment for all it was worth, giving Matt a fleeting glance. The redhead picked up on it and shuffled over, the phone pretty much dangling out of his pocket.

“Light, he’s not going to hurt you. He’s my friend. Remember Mello from the stories I told you?” Matt crooned, shifting closer until his hip touched his, the phone within the grasp of his fingers. He had to be quick, he had to slip it out as nimbly as he could. Luckily, Light was more than adept at pickpocketing, he had used it several times to frame Sayu as a kid.

“I know.” Light whispered, eyes wide and childlike. “It’s just…” His gaze flitted from Matt to Mello and back. “He’s carrying a gun.”

The two of them shared a sceptical look. Light quickly elaborated. “Nobody uses guns but policemen and killers.”

Surprisingly, Mello chuckled. “Holy shit. That’s is fucking adorable. Is this why you never used to like using them?”

Light felt a prick in his pride. _Adorable?_ It was an entirely legitimate excuse, it _was_ illegal to use guns in Shingata! “Some of us are good honest citizens who don’t like armed men approaching them under any circumstance.”

Now Matt was chuckling too. “Alright, chill, I’ll take his gun, alright?”

 _No!_ “I-I’d really rather not see it…” He racked his brain for more. Fuck this, why didn’t Matt just do what he wanted him to?

“I won’t show it to you, I promise.” The redhead took the shiny black weapon from his blonde friend and made a show of holding it behind his back.

This was more than stupid, it was insulting. They were treating him like a five year old. Light glowered at him, ignoring how hot his face was getting.

Matt chortled. “I’m not patronising you, I swear. I seriously won’t show it to you.” Instinctively, he reached out to pat the brunet’s shoulder with the hand that held the gun and grimaced.

“Oh, fuck.” He said, drawing it back and sticking it casually into his pocket.

The gun jostled the phone that was already half-out, and the device tumbled out of his jeans, falling right next to Light’s hip.

_Holy fuck._

The gods were looking out for him. The gods were fucking blessing him with every bit of good karma he had accumulated over the years. Matt hadn’t even noticed!

Light had to actively concentrate on not breaking out into a victorious smirk. He wasn’t done yet. He still had the hardest part to go, retrieving it. After all, he was still handcuffed.

“Am I allowed to touch you now, Your Majesty?” Mello raised his eyebrows, one corner of his mouth rising humourlessly. Light considered rejecting him, but that would seem just a bit too suspicious. Luckily for him, Misa chose that very moment to squeal, seizing everybody’s attention as she had a tendency to do.

“But then you won’t have anything, L-san!” She screeched, and Light screamed with joy in his head, shifting imperceptibly until he was sitting on top of the phone.

What was this stretch of luck? Was this an apology from the universe? God knew he needed it.

Matt and Mello gave her deadpan looks. “Jesus, Misa, keep your voice down. You’ll wake B.”

Misa seemed entirely nonchalant about that possibility, picking up a plate and trotting over. Light glanced over and met L’s eyes, those pitch-black eyes that seemed to pick apart his every thought and motive. He sincerely hoped L was not picking up on this one, he had gotten it too good. He couldn’t mess it up now, not when escape was being served to him on a silver platter.

Misa reached him and knelt by him, shoving a wobbling pale-yellow cheesecake in front of his nose. “Look, you’re so lucky, Raito-kun! You got the last food we have!”

It gave him an excuse to smile, at least. Light slipped his fingers under himself as discreetly as he could, wrapping them around the phone. “That looks great, Misa. Thank you.”

Misa grinned broadly. “Misa hates to admit it, but it’s all L-san. He sacrificed his sweets even though it makes him 20% stupider or something. He usually makes it a big deal.”

He spied L giving him a sly glance from where he sat. Being in a particularly good mood now, Light decided to be magnanimous, giving him a sweet, bashful smile. “I…well, thank you.” He pulled the mobile phone from its hiding place and slipped it deftly into his pants.

“You’re welcome, Raito-kun.” The monotone came in turn, and L’s eyes met his again, inscrutable, speckled with grey.

 “Open wide!” Misa chirped, holding the fork out in front of his nose.

From L’s place, there was a low chuckle, almost hidden under the guffawing of Matt and his friend. But that chuckle, it was knowing, it _knew_.

There was no way he knew.

He let out a harried breath, looking down at the cheesecake Misa was holding oh-so-delicately on her fork. No, Light was being paranoid. L wasn’t God, he didn’t know everything. Daintily, Light took the piece in his mouth, letting the sweet tartness rest on his tongue before he swallowed.

The van jerked as it came to a halt, a movement that had BB slobbering awake and Matt rolling his eyes. The serial killer wiped the drool off his chin on the back of his hand. “Wh-wha..”

Misa hopped up to her feet. “We’re here! We’re here, we’re here, we’re here!” She placed the plate by her side and busied herself gathering up the long handcuff that had been discarded near her. Mello and Matt decided to retreat as well, the redhead giving back the gun and noticing nothing amiss.

Light bit in his smirk, his eyes glancing away towards Ryuuzaki, who had gotten to his feet and was giving him an amused look.

“Welcome to the orphanage, Raito-kun.” The detective said, and though there was no chance of it being true, it seemed like he knew exactly what was going through his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huuuuge chapter, but then I have a tradition of making my 13th chapter a little longer than usual XD
> 
> I just love the image of L writing down his Raito and this Raito's various faults and virtues and comparing them XD it's just so sweet to me
> 
> Review and comment please!


	14. Mud Cottage

Every time one of his captors said the word _orphanage_ , Light imagined a stinky rut of a hovel, a picture from his Geography textbook, a glorified mud cottage.

Orphanages in Shingata, like most other enterprises for the underprivileged, weren’t particularly well-funded, and the private ones could only go so far without the backing of a noble. It hurt Light’s overly charitable heart. He wanted Shingata to take care of its suffering citizens, goddamn it. If he could take all the money from the nobles and distribute it among the poor Robin Hood style, he would.

So yeah, he didn’t expect an anarchist-managed institution to be anything more than a hole in the wall. Not in a million years.

“And we can share L’s cheesecake with the orphans!” Misa squealed loudly, her tip of the spoon cold against his lip, yellow cake wobbling on it. Light blinked awake. Was she still here? It seemed he was getting used to her if he had learnt how to zone out of her gratingly loud voice. The last he remembered had been her reattaching the long handcuff to his shackled wrists and start on a long tirade about how bright the orphans were.

Obediently, he opened his mouth and let her feed him. Everyone except Misa had disembarked to get the place ready to confine him, with Mello being in charge of fetching them when they were done. They had been pretty transparent about their intentions: they were keeping him inside their secret base, which just so happened to be a home full of particularly intelligent children from all over the slums of Shingata.

It looked like they had no qualms about allowing him to stay at their main base and listen to their plans, even if they did slip into codes sometimes. It was a point in their favour, their trusting him in that minor way, because as far as he knew they weren’t stupid. All the evidence pointed to them telling the truth.

It made sense. The timeline of their story coincided with Mikami’s surgery on him. Maybe some part of it had been botched, and rather than explain it to him, the doctor had concluded that the poor soft mate would handle it badly. So he had concocted a conspiracy wherein everyone in his family and friend circle had been informed not to mention anything about that time he had been missing for half a year.

He wouldn’t put it past him. His fiancé had always underestimated him, and Light’s father would certainly give his consent to anything that involved keeping him under further restrictions.

Perhaps he should stay with these people longer, learn more about his previous life…

Light blinked, startled by the phrasing of his thoughts. _Previous life?_ He was being ridiculous! And if there was any chance of this conspiracy being true, he would deal with it by confronting Mikami, not by talking to his insane kidnappers.

He’d have to use the cellphone in his pants first, get to a safe spot to hide away and make a quick call, give them something to work with to track him down.

“That’s why we’ll have so much fun being handcuffed together!” Misa declared suddenly, and without warning, she shoved another spoonful of cheesecake into his mouth. Light choked, caught off guard, prompting a shocked gasp from the model.

“Sorry, Raito-kun!” She screeched. “Misa will get some water!” Light nodded frantically, coughing, focussing on swallowing the pasty lump that had gone down the wrong way.

“No need for that.” A deep monotone came from the front of the van and Light almost fell into a new bout of coughing just to escape this. “I have brought some.”

L, the master of foresight, stood with a large bottle of water in his hand, slumping over towards them. “Watari has declared Raito-kun’s rooms safe for confinement, I have come to-oops.” His hand accidentally-on-purpose knocked over a backpack from the pile that always stood inside the van.

Bright pink and glittering with sequins, it was obvious whose backpack it was, and predictably, Amane Misa hadn’t zipped it. She shrieked as it spewed its contents onto the floor of the van and instinctively let go of Raito, diving to save her belongings. “No! Misa’s makeup! She won’t get any for two months!”

L approached Light, crouching beside him and holding the water bottle to his lips. Desperately, Light drank the water, thanking his lucky stars that it had been slippery cheesecake instead of candy or one of Sayu’s jawbreakers.

When L finally pulled back, Light rolled his eyes, his wrist twinging with pain where he instinctively tried to raise his hand to wipe his mouth. “You sure took your own sweet time with that.”

The detective grinned. “I apologise, Raito-kun. Are you alright?”

“I’m about as fine as can be, I guess.” He shrugged. “Are you going to take me inside now?”

“Yes, that is what I was sent for-” The detective paused, eyeing Misa. Light glanced over at her, watching her struggle to reach the lipsticks that had rolled too far out of her grasp, straining against the handcuff. L smirked wryly, and Light raised his eyebrows. This man was plotting something, and by the looks of it, Misa wasn’t going to like it.

“Amane-san? Do you need some help?” L asked tauntingly.

Misa fluttered her eyelashes beseechingly at him. “L-san, Watari-san won’t allow Misa to spend any money on makeup for the next two months, so if Misa loses any she’s going to be short for ages! She can’t bear that! Please, L-san, pick them up for her!”

L raised his eyebrows. “Amane-san wants me to do her work for her?”

Light was starting to pick up on the plan. He grinned. “L-san, _you’re_ the one who dropped the backpack.” He said in a sickly-sweet honeyed voice, and was immediately struck through with a murderous glare.

Misa perked up at his words. “Exactly! L-san did it, so L-san should pick it up!”

The detective crossed his arms, his glower unwavering from where it was burning a hole into Light. “Amane-san, I have a lot of work to do. I have to untie Raito-kun and restrain him in his room, and after that I have to proceed with my investigation into Near. So, if you don’t mind…” He ducked over quick as a flash, his fluffy hair pushed into Light’s face as he reached across him into Misa’s pocket and drew a small key from it. Light took a deep whiff, his hair smelled like vanilla cake.

The detective grabbed Misa’s wrist and unlocked the handcuff from around it. The model squealed her displeasure. “L-san! Don’t invade Misa’s space like that!”

Light almost laughed. That was rich coming from her. He still remembered the party, where Misa had practically molested him and led to Mikami locking him in his bedroom for the rest of the night.

“Here you go. Pick up your things. I shall proceed with my work.” L quickly crouched by Light’s feet, using the key bunch he had apparently retrieved from Mello to unlock the restraints at his ankles and gently pull them off. The brunet relaxed his legs, separating them and relishing in the movement.

Misa huffed and trotted off, grabbing her lipsticks and eyeliners from the nooks and crannies they had rolled off into. Light watched her for a bit, then noticed L staring at him unblinkingly, sitting right in between his spread legs. The detective didn’t seem to intend on untying Light’s hands, crouching on the balls of his feet and leaning forward.

From this angle, it looked like he was going to kiss him.

The brunet raised his eyebrows, realising he wasn’t all that repelled by that idea. Despite his weirdness, L was attractive in his own way. Except…he couldn’t have this. The last thing he needed was to encourage such invasive behaviour from his kidnapper.

The detective’s face was so close now, he could strike him right in the jaw from this position. It would be so satisfying to see that purple bruise blooming on his jawline…

The detective cocked an eyebrow. “I’ll have you know I have learnt Capoeira, Raito-kun. Don’t try to kick me.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. So if you would-” L shrank sharply to the side, avoiding Light’s foot. The brunet drew his leg back and tried again, managing to knock him on the nose.

“Haha! Fuck you! You don’t tell me what to do-” Was all Light managed before L swept his foot in an arc, hitting his temple and sending him careening into the ground. The teenager moaned with pain, writhing.

L pursed his lips. “Are you okay, Raito-kun?”

“Does it look like I’m fucking okay?” He hissed through his teeth. “How is this a fair fight? My hands are literally tied behind my back!”

“I told you not to kick me.” The detective mumbled.

“Hey, don’t hurt my Raito! Get lost, Misa will bring him!” Misa yelled, trotting forward with her arms full of makeup products she stuck back into her bag.

“Your Raito? Are you trying to steal my boyfriend, Amane-san?” L asked sagely, and the model stopped dead.

“What? Misa would never-!” The model protested as Light simultaneously snapped “I’m _not_ your boyfriend.”

“Because it sure seems that way, considering you have handcuffed yourself to him and are trying to turn him against me.” The detective droned, biting his thumb. Light scoffed, flicking his head to get his long fringe out of his eyes.

“The handcuffs aren’t even her fault. What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Exactly!” Misa twittered. “Raito-kun said it exactly right!”

“I thought you had changed, Amane-san. I thought you had put your evil days behind you.” L shook his head morosely. The model squawked, horrified.

“Misa didn’t do anything, L-san! Misa only wants to follow Watari-san’s orders and keep an eye on her Raito-”

“Unfortunately, Misa-san, I do not believe you for an instant.” L said, squatting down beside where Raito had fallen. “And so, I’m sure you will understand my taking measures to stop you from stealing away the love of my life.”

“Misa didn’t do anything-” She cut herself off when L picked up the end of the long handcuff that Misa had discarded by Light’s side. Her hazel eyes widened. “L-san, what are you _doing-?”_

“I hope you will understand my motives behind this, and will not involve unnecessary people such as Watari into this situation.” L, resolutely, clicked the handcuff locked around his own wrist.

“But L-san, Watari-san _said-”_

“If you tell on me, Amane-san…” The key shone small and silver between his long, pale fingers. He held it up in front of his face. “If you tell on me, Amane-san, I will swallow the key.”

“What the _fuck?”_ Light yelped. The detective stifled a smile, and he felt like kicking him again.

“I am childish and hate to lose. So what will it be? Will you involve Watari or will you just let this go?”

Misa gaped blankly at him, and abruptly stomped her foot to the ground, aggravated. “Ugh! This is so unfair! Misa just wanted to spend some time with her Raito!” She turned on her heel, throwing the van doors open as she stomped out. L finally allowed his grin to break free.

“Justice always prevails.” He whispered under his breath. Light burst out laughing.

* * *

Sayu Yagami had never been so afraid in her life.

Was this how her brother had lived, months ago? Had he just migrated from cinderblock house to cinderblock house as he tried to stay alive? Were his friends all slum rats? Had he really hated his life so much that he had stooped to _this_ to escape it?

Sayu couldn’t understand it. Mikami had to have been torturing him for him to choose this nomadic existence over the life of a noble.

Sayu sighed as she held her pepper spray tightly in her hand.

She remembered the last time she had talked to her brother, her _actual_ brother, the one who hated them all, who hated her. He had been zip-tied to the metal frame of his bed like a lunatic on suicide watch, in a skimpy hospital gown that only reached his knees and a entirely blanked expression, only his sharp amber eyes conveying the absolute loathing he felt for each of them.

They had told her not to visit, but how could she not? She hadn’t seen him for months, her mother hadn’t seen him for longer than that, they had all thought he was dead. Sachiko had had an emotional breakdown, Sayu was failing all her classes, their father…their father hadn’t come home from work for sixty days and counting. She had to see him, she had to see that he was alive and okay, she had to _see it_.

But, of course, it had been a mistake.

His usually perfectly groomed auburn hair was shaggy and overlong, falling messily over his forehead, his nails were digging into his skin so deep that the blood coated his palm, smeared over the bedframe, his jaw gritted tight enough for her own teeth to ache in sympathy.

His eyes were fixed on the ceiling, tracing the cracks and slathers of paint, but she knew he was watching her. He hadn’t spoken to anybody since they rescued him from the anarchists he had been with, but…but she was his little sister. He was her brother, he would speak to her, she knew it. Mikami knew it too. Even though his father had driven them apart with his decision, even though they hadn’t properly spoken for years, he would speak to her. She was the only one who understood him, after all.

“Onii-chan?” She’d started hesitantly, but he had turned his face away, shutting his eyes. She almost drew back, hurt, before she realised what the problem was.

Her mother realised it in the same instant. “Raito, don’t tell me to leave, I haven’t seen you for so long!”

Sayu touched her mother’s arm reassuringly. “It’s okay, Okaa-san. He’ll come around. It’s only for now.”

To her shock, rather than just quietly leave as she usually did, Yagami Sachiko burst into loud, violent tears. “Please, Raito! I’m sorry! You don’t know how sorry I am!”

Raito let out a quiet breath, as if she was trying his patience. Sayu was almost irritated with him, almost, before she remembered where she was. “Okaa-san, just go. It’ll be fine.”

Sachiko let out a shaky sob and stood up ramrod straight, mincing her steps as she walked out without another word.

Sayu had been watching her leave, wondering how she was going to fix this at home, when she heard Raito’s quiet whisper.

“Do you know what they’re going to do to me?”

Sayu turned back to look at him. His voice was raspy, his face pale, eyes squeezed shut. She knew that expression well, looking down at his hands and finding that, unsurprisingly, he had scratched out new cuts in his palm, the blood now dripping down his wrist onto the bedclothes.

The brunette sighed, wrapping her hands around his and twisting his fingers straight. “Who do you mean? The anarchists?”

“No.” He chuckled bitterly. “No, it’s not the anarchists, obviously.” He shook his head, looking away. “It’s so hard to talk to you now.”

Sayu blinked, hurt. He had never said that before. Even in their angriest moments, even when they thought they would hate each other forever, they had never said anything like that. They were a pair, a team. Even if they hadn’t been on speaking terms for the longest time, they could still read each others’ minds, right? “I haven’t met any anarchists, Onii-chan. I don’t know what trauma you’ve been through. If you just explain-”

“I haven’t been through any trauma but the kind you people have put me through.” He gritted out. “Do you know what I was doing for all these months?”

Sayu shook her head. “No, but I always got it in my head that you ran away to start your own detective agency.” She smiled shakily. “You know, because of what happened with Otou-san…”

Light turned to her, eyes lit up with surprise for once. “That’s…that’s actually pretty accurate.” Sayu let her smile grow. “But that’s not all.”

The girl frowned. “Yeah, Otou-san was saying you were rescued from an abandoned warehouse-”

“I was consorting with anarchists.”

It took a minute to sink in, but when it did Sayu choked, leaping to her feet. “Onii-chan, you can’t be serious! Consorting with…with anarchists? With terrorists? How could you-?”

“It’s not half as bad as you think.” Light whispered. “I didn’t kill anyone, Sayu. They didn’t kill anyone. They’re good people-”

“Bullshit!” Sayu yelped. “How can a terrorist be a good person?”

“But not all anarchists are terrorists, Sayu!” Light said earnestly. “Don’t you remember how the outlawing started during the war? How they hunted down almost half the non-nobles in law enforcement because of circumstantial evidence? They convicted people with vague associations to terrorists, all of those innocent people are on the run from the law, don’t you get it? It’s not fair to-”

Sayu covered her face with her palm. “Raito…”

His jaw snapped shut, his eyes turning stony. “I should have known you wouldn’t understand. There’s no point talking to you.”

“No, Raito. I understand. I get it, I get what you’re feeling.” She licked her lips. “But...it’s against the law.”

“It is.” Light smiled ruefully. “Life imprisonment for anarchy, and twenty years with parole for any noble who consorts with them.”

 _Twenty years?_ Sayu froze in shock. “N-no. Raito…” She covered her mouth with her hand. “No, Raito, you…you can’t…t-twenty years?” She’d be thirty-six. Raito would be nearly forty. “Raito, I won’t let you, Otou-san won’t let you! He wouldn’t, it would tarnish the family honour! He’ll keep you out somehow, I know he will! Raito-”

“You’re right, Sayu.”

The girl paused. “What?”

Light blew out a tired sigh. “You’re right. Otou-san won’t let me ruin the family honour.”

She blinked, wondering if she should feel relieved. It sounded like good news, but why did Raito look so sad? “B-but Raito…”

An ironic smirk twisted the brunet’s lips. “He’s not going to let me go to jail.”

“T-that’s great!” Sayu felt uneasiness pool in her stomach. “That’s awesome…isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s great. It’s…” He swallowed. “It’s amazing.”

“Raito…” Sayu watched as her brother’s eyes glimmered with tears. A stab of fear went through her. Raito didn’t cry, she had never seen him cry for anything. He had been through so much more than her and he hadn’t cried once. “Raito, what’s wrong? I...how can I-”

The brunet didn’t answer, looking away. The tears fell down his cheeks, marking glittering trails. “Raito, please, what can I do? I want to help.”

“Go away.” He bit out. “Go away or I’ll scream and make you go.”

 “Onii-chan, why…?” Sayu felt tears of her own pool in her eyes. She refused to leave. She _refused_. “What happened? Please tell me, I can help, I swear!”

“I’ll scream, I mean it.” His voice was thick, his nails tearing his skin apart. He would get scabs, an infection, she went to pry them away but he flinched. “I mean it, Sayu, go!”

“No!” She stood her ground. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong!”

She could see the loathing again. Deep inside his eyes, coiled like a snake with poisonous fangs. “Stay, then.” His cheeks were blotchy red, his jaw clenched obstinately. “Stay and rot in hell.”

She had stayed for hours. She’d tried everything to make him talk, but if there was one thing she knew, there was no changing Raito’s mind once he’d made it up. It was a family trait.

Except, that wasn’t entirely true. There were ways to change his mind, there were ways to fix everything. Her father and Mikami knew that well.

The next time she saw Raito his smile had been warm and friendly, no loathing in sight, a linen bandage wrapped tightly around the crown of his head.

Sayu bundled herself tighter into her blanket, squeezing her eyes shut. Her cellphone was right next to her, ready for an emergency call, all of the training she had gone through at the self-defence workshop at the forefront of her mind.

She wasn’t going to let it happen again. This time, _she_ would find her Onii-chan, and she would save his life, whether he liked it or not.

Sayu curled up and rested her blistering feet in a warehouse in East Shingata, her hand wrapped firmly around her pocketknife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh backstory is the most fun <3 and I really love writing Sayu's relationship with Light!
> 
> I'm updating really fast, aren't I? I've had like three holidays in a row and I wrote 5 chapters after this one XD editing is going to be a bitch XD
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	15. Fist Fight

When L lifted his blindfolded lover out of the van and set him carefully onto the ground, the only thing he could think of was how he was skin and bones again. The first time he’d met him, L had put in conscious effort into fattening him up, showing him the wonders of sugar, but now when he placed his hands on the boy’s skinny torso, he could feel his ribs jut out distinctly through his rough red shirt.

One would think that a half a year in the nobleman’s county would fatten you up, not reduce you to nothing.

Light smiled tentatively. “Are we just going to stand around here? It’s really tempting to take the blindfold off, you know. With my hands free and all.”

When had he started smiling around L? The detective tried not to get his hopes up. The new Light wasn’t going to warm up to him in a day. This was obviously the part of some strategy.

_But if there was a trace of the old Light inside him…_

L quashed that thought immediately. The likeliest cause for the brunet’s memory loss was surgery. There was no coming back from that, especially not from Mikami’s expert work.

_Right?_

Light crossed his arms, the handcuff chain jingling. His fingers began to niggle at the line of scabs on his palm.

L sighed, batting the offending hand impatiently. “Sorry, Raito-kun. I got a bit sidetracked. I’ll take you inside.”

“What could possibly have sidetracked you in five seconds?” His voice was ever so sweetly teasing, it made L’s stomach twist unpleasantly. What was he planning now? What advantages would befriending him-

Of course. He was trying to befriend him. What better way to ensure your survival than by befriending your captor?

L shook his head. He wasn’t going to resent him for this, none of this was his fault. “I was just lost in thought.”

“What were you thinking about?” Light cocked his head in a way the detective had always found adorable. Unwilling to answer, L responded by tugging the chain joining them, prompting the teenager to take slow, halting steps forward.

He placed his hand on Light’s arm, guiding him into the scraggly grounds of the orphanage from the sheet-metal garage where their van was parked.

The teenager licked his bottom lip. “Was it a secret?”

“No, not really.” L bit his thumbnail. “I was just thinking of how… _light_ you are.” Two could play at this befriending game.

“Oh God no.” He groaned. “Isn’t it bad enough you’re holding me captive? Do you have to do the puns?”

“Do I have to? No. Does it… _lighten_ the mood? Yes, it does.”

“Oh, two can play at this game.” Light smirked. “Law-liet the fucking outlaw?”

L wrinkled his nose. “Don’t say my name aloud, Raito-kun. I told it to you in complete secrecy.”

Light frowned behind the blindfold. “Why do you need to hide it? Are you a fugitive?” He paused a minute and laughed a charming little laugh. “Sorry, that was silly. Of course you’re a fugitive. I meant-”

“I know what you meant, Raito-kun.” L smiled as he led the teenager out into the porch of the building. By the position of the sun in the sky, he decided it was ten past twelve, which meant the orphans would be let out for recess any minute now before they were taken back for classes.

Watari was trying to shift his Whammy’s House agenda onto the Shingatese orphanage. L wasn’t opposed to it. After all, the children were available and were already basically on the wrong side of the law by being poor and homeless. “You may not know who I am, you didn’t when we first met, but L isn’t a nickname of mine. L is my codename, I am-”

“L.” Light stopped in his tracks, the chain going taut as the black-haired man kept walking. L looked back at him quizzically.

He couldn’t make out his expression, but his voice was hushed in what sounded like amazement. “You’re the Detective L. How could I not have made that connection before? I guess I didn’t realise that you were even still in Shingata. You’re wanted by the law for working with serial killers and performing extra-legal procedures, aren’t you?”

L blinked, astonished. Old Light hadn’t known who he was, he hadn’t even made the connection between him and the detective who had fudged Beyond Birthday’s trial. This Light, though, was practically shivering with excitement, his teeth flashing white in his smile. “This is so awesome! I’m a huge fan, I’ve done so much research on you, my father hates your guts-!”

L suppressed a smile, surprisingly flattered. “You are a fan of mine, Raito-kun?”

“Yeah! I was on this internet spiral once when Mikami had left me alone at home, and I stumbled across one of your cases in my father’s archive. The one with the serial killer who preserved the organs of his victims?”

“Yes.” L remembered that case. It was particularly nasty. If the police ever caught and convicted him, it would be the first on their list of offences.

“It’s just so brilliant, how you solved it by tricking the police into arresting the wrong person and luring him out! It was illegal, yeah, but it’s just the most awesome move I’ve ever seen.” He laughed. “It’s too bad the police convicted you, you’d have been a great thing for law enforcement, even if your methods are shady.”

His enthusiasm was catching. This felt better than cake, even. He’d missed Light’s zest, the pleasure that came from getting his rarely given approval. L felt his heartbeat speed up, goosebumps run along his arms, and he immediately shut it all down. _No, he wasn’t allowed to feel this way, not yet._ “Thank you, Raito-kun. Now come along, I need to have you restrained.”

The smile dimmed slightly, and L’s throat caught with disappointment. “Oh, you do? I didn’t think-”

But L would never find out what Light didn’t think because at that very moment, the main door of the orphanage blew open and fifty Shingatese children flooded out into the grounds.

About half of them breezed past, weaving through his ankles and slamming past his shoulders as they ran rabidly into the patchy lawn and began to throw mud at each other. The other 50%, though, were a bit more troublesome.

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, L-san is here!” One of the younger girls screeched. “Mello was right, L-san is here!”

 _Fuck_. L tried to quickly slip into the house and guide Raito-kun to his cell, _he’d taken too long, Watari was going to kill him,_ when a huge swarm of children blocked his way, seven different boys and girls wrapping around his waist in a bear hug. “L-san! We missed you, L-san! Do you have candy? Do you have candy?”

They were all so tiny, with their piggy arms and bouncy black hair. L felt bad for prying them off, so he just tried to weakly wriggle out of their grasps. “Children. Please release me, I am very busy at the moment.” Unfortunately, that statement only invited more giggles, and then there was a shuddering gasp that rippled through the crowd.

Things were most definitely fucked. “Yagami-sensei! Yagami-sensei, you’re back too!” The children all transferred unanimously from L to Light, clinging to his slim frame. “Yagami-sensei, are you playing a game? Can we play?”

Light stumbled back, startled. “Um…” One of the children, a pretty little girl called Linda, happened upon the handcuff chain and held it between her fingers, fascinated.

“Oh my gosh, is it a sexual game?”

Light turned bright red, and the detective was just about to save the situation by dragging Raito into the building before the teenager raised his hand to his face and lifted the blindfold off.

L froze in place. Things were well and truly fucked now.

“Who taught you that kind of language?” Light scolded in a self-righteous tone, and all of the children fell into giggles.

“Misa-Misa taught it to us, Yagami-sensei! She and Misora-sensei told us that L-san is in love with you and he’s so crabby because you went on vacation and he can’t be sexual with you!”

“Oh yeah?” He knelt down to look them in the eye. “Well, guess what? That is _none_ of your business. You got that?”

Linda nodded frantically. “I’ve got that!”

“She totally hasn’t!” The boy next to her bleated. “She’s going to spread rumours about you to the shop-kids!”

“Shut up!” The girl slapped his shoulder and turned back to Light, batting her eyelashes. “I would never spread rumours about you, Yagami-sensei. Will you teach us Math again? We all miss you so much! Our new teacher _sucks_. He sucks _ass.”_

“I’m sorry, what was that?” A piercing woman’s voice rent the air and all of the children fell silent. Linda turned sheet-white. A tall woman stalked up to them, dressed in a black trench coat, her raven hair falling down to her shoulders in waves. _“Did I just hear a swear word?”_

Linda cowered behind Raito, getting Misora’s attention to him. Her face transforming from suspicion to delight. “Raito-kun! What a surprise! Roger told me L was coming, but he didn’t mention you!” Her gaze slid from Light to the great detective.

L’s limbs felt made of lead.

“Yeah, he tends to do that, doesn’t he?” Light stuck out his hand for her to shake. She laughed.

“Always with the formalities. I suppose you shook L’s hand too, huh?” She took his hand firmly. “I’m glad you’re back, Raito-kun. We’ll host you for as long as you need, you don’t ever have to worry about that.”

Finally, L gathered the energy he needed to break out of his shock and move. He jerked Light forward by the chain, grabbing his arm tightly and hauling him inside. “We know, Misora. Thanks.” He said shortly, swinging the orphanage door shut behind him. He pulled Raito to the stairs at double his speed, the brunet tripping over his feet to keep up.

“L, slow down!” He yelped, but rather than follow that request, the detective stopped entirely, marching back to come nose to nose with him.

“What was that?” L gritted out. Light narrowed his eyes.

“What? They started talking to me, not the other way around.”

“No!” He yanked the blindfold from Light’s hand and shoved it in his face. “This! What gave you the right to take it off?”

“Well, what was I supposed to do? Stand around like an idiot while those kids hugged me?”

Rage boiled in his veins. “Yes, that was what you were supposed to do. In case you’ve forgotten, you’re my captive. _Captive_. Do I have to spell it out to you? I can make this so much worse for you, Yagami Raito. Do not try your foolish schemes around me.”

Light looked unsettled, shifting his weight. “I thought I was supposed to have been your lover or something. Those people don’t seem to know who I actually am, I thought you’d want me to help keep appearances-”

L couldn’t help what he did next. Before he knew it, Light was pressed against the wall, the detective’s heartbeat pounding in his ears.

“How dare you exploit that to get your way?” He hissed, a lump forming in his throat.

“I’m sorry, I just thought-”

“You want to keep appearances? You want to take his place?” L gripped his collar in his fist. “You want to replace him even though you don’t believe he ever existed, is _that_ your story?”

“That’s not what I meant, I just-”

“That’s your story, then?” L glared into those huge amber eyes, those same amber eyes, _it was not fair_. “In that case, let’s get you used to it, shall we?”

“No, I-” L cut him off with his lips.

Raito whined into his mouth, jerking his head to the side, but L caught his jaw in his hand. He pinned the handcuffed wrist to the wall. His fingers dug into the soft skin of his cheek as he held him straight, catching his lips in his and kissing him hard. The brunet’s free hand clawed at him, pushing him away, but L persisted, the rage sizzling inside him, making him want to destroy this person, to grind this person into the dust and force his Raito out.

The brunet finally broke away, gasping for breath. _“Get the fuck off!”_

“No.” L growled, reaching out again and pushing his lips against his.

“Get off! Get off of me!” The brunet cried desperately, sounding close to tears, and contempt tasted bitter on his tongue. His Raito never cried, his Raito would never have considered it for any reason. L tangled his fingers in Light’s hair and forced him forward, fuelling himself with his near-insane anger. He would break this stranger, he would unravel him and reveal his Raito inside. L leaned forward, hissing. “You have no right-”

Light drew his free hand back and punched him across the face.

The rage that had burned inside him melted away with the sting of his cheek. He watched as Light struggled to catch his breath, his brown eyes wide in fury. His lips were swollen with the force L had used.

_What was he doing?_

“How the fuck _dare_ you?” Light snapped. “Just try to do that again. Just try!”

L watched him, fascinated despite himself.

“Let go of me!” He growled, tugging at his pinned wrist. “You sickening monster! Molesting teenagers? People who can’t fight back? You repulsive bastard!”

“Of course you can fight back, Raito-kun.” L whispered faintly. What was this? He had expected the new Raito to manipulate him somehow, to cry or go into shock and invite sympathy for his cause. Anger in a situation like this belonged to _his_ Raito.

“Damn right I can.” Light snarled. L had only just opened his mouth when suddenly, white-hot agony exploded between his legs. The detective howled, crumpling to a bow, his brain shutting down and rebooting. He’d just _kneed him in the balls._ The detective whimpered in anguish as strong hands shoved him down and began to riffle through his pockets.

 _Oh fuck no._ L dragged himself away and made a fist, hitting blindly out at where he expected Light’s face to be. With the resounding roar that followed, it seemed he had guessed right.

Light shrieked, and another jolt of pain exploded on L’s cheekbone. Luckily, the detective had already started to swing his foot in the boy’s direction and hit him with a satisfying thump. _“Ow!_ You asshole!”

L’s vision had cleared, and so he could see Light’s fist whizzing towards him in perfect clarity. He attempted to dodge it, though the effort failed and the brunet grazed his temple. L made up for it with another kick, this time with all of his force behind it as he smashed the teenager in the stomach.

“I _hate_ you!” Light shouted, yanking the handcuff chain as he clutched his gut. “I hate you, you fucking bastard! I don’t give a shit if you’re L, you’re an immoral piece of _shit!”_ The fist caught L in the chest, sending him tumbling into the stairs. He used that momentum to prop himself on his arms, kicking the brunet behind the knees and forcing him to lose his balance.

“Well, guess what, Raito-kun?” L hissed. “Imposter-kun, I’m glad you hate me, because I feel the same way. You dirty lying imposter. You are a pale imitation of what he used to be, you are a disgrace. You’re _weak.”_

 _“I am not a pale anything!”_ Light screamed, leaping at L to throw a punch that was blocked by the detective’s forearm. “I have not lost my memories! I’m a normal fucking noble! I’m not an imposter, you sick deluded pervert!”

“You childish idiot, can’t you see what’s _right in front of you?”_ L kicked him hard in the side, the brunet stumbling to the ground with a huff. “Can you stop lying to yourself for just one minute?”

“The only one lying to himself is _you.”_ The brunet growled nastily. “I bet your lover doesn’t even exist. I bet everyone here is humouring the poor lonely detective who has sick fantasies about every other noble who crosses his path.”

That did it.

 _“You’re going to pay for that!”_ L shouted, a rare occurrence, as he ran up two chairs and put all of his weight into a body slam.

* * *

When Naomi Misora finally led the children back inside, she stopped dead at the doorway, the children piling around her, excited murmurs filling the air as they contorted themselves to catch a glimpse of what had happened.

“Fuck you! You freak! I don’t even know how you exist!”

“You’re one to speak! Your asshole is so tight I don’t even know how you shit!”

 _“How the fuck would you know that?_ You creepy fucking pervert! _Pervert!”_

“You don’t know any other insults do you? You sheltered little pretty boy, you wouldn’t weigh ten pounds soaking wet!”

“I can still beat your ass to heaven, you sorry excuse for a detective!”

“You suck in bed!”

 _“You_ suck in bed! …Not that I would know because I’m not a fucking _pervert!”_

“Raito! L!” Naomi screamed. “What the hell are you doing?”

L and Light froze in place, the detective holding the brunet in a chokehold, with Light’s hand fisted in L’s hair as if he was going to rip it out. Slowly, L released him, blinking his wide mirror-like eyes, and Light staggered away, giving him a scathing look before brushing off his shirt and untangling the handcuff chain from where it had wrapped around his arm.

Linda snuck up behind the severe black-haired woman, tapping her on the shoulder.

“Misora-sensei? Did I hear a swear word?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a real thing for their fist fights for some reason XD Also just realised I created a parallel between the forced kissing scene of Mikami in chapter 2 and this one, Light feels a lot more comfortable fighting back with L XD
> 
> Anyway, I hope it was a good one. This chapter was a lot of fun to write XD
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	16. Toilet

When had L Lawliet sunk so low?

L had never felt so much shame in his life.

It wasn’t even just that he had hurt Raito and essentially violated him. It was that he had let his emotions cloud his judgement so far that he had allowed that to happen. _He was the Detective L._ He was cold, precise, sharp. He was the leader of his successors, he was the one in charge.

It was so tempting to blame his fall from grace onto falling in love with Yagami Raito, if only that had had a shred of truth to it. Even after they had met, even after they had established their relationship and realised how much they meant to each other, he had never lost himself. It was only after his worst failure, the incident he had lost him in, that he had become this pathetic disgrace.

Perhaps if he had gotten him back, things would have gone back to normal. But he hadn’t, and he never would.

_He never would._

“Ow.” L winced at the sting of alcohol. “Be gentler, Watari.”

The old man bristled, giving him a wordless look of disapproval. L shrugged and looked away. “It was only a suggestion.”

“I shall not follow your suggestion.” Watari said as he pressed hard on the wound on his knee, making L yelp and squirm. “I am ashamed of you. I am deeply, _deeply_ ashamed of you, L.”

It stung worse than the alcohol, but what did Watari expect from him? An apology?

 Not while Raito was still in the room, that was for sure. His head still hurt from being knocked into the hard edge of the stairs. He wasn’t getting an apology if it was his last day on Earth.

L snuck a glance at the brunet out the corner of his eye. He looked much better than him, mostly because L, unlike Light, had subconsciously made an effort not to hit his face. Misa-Misa was fluttering around him, worrying about his injuries and giving the detective dirty looks in regular intervals.

Light himself was keeping his eyes trained on the ground, staring fiercely into the middle distance, his fingers laced together in his lap. They had taken off the handcuff to treat the bruise under it, his rusty-brown fringe was covering a knot on his forehead and his lips…L winced. His lips were swollen and painful, tender enough to bleed any second. How hard had L kissed him? Had he been so possessed?

And worst of it all was that if he had done this to _his_ Raito, it would have been devastating. He would have triggered his trauma, he would have scarred him, he would have reminded him of what Mikami had done.

After all the effort of showing Light how different he was, how much healthier their relationship could be, when had he become _Mikami?_ It was a given that he respected Light, with or without his memories, he would never have thought he could demean him, hurt him this way. Just because Light wasn’t his anymore, L had lashed out like a child whose toy had been taken away.

The disgust coiled up in his throat until he was ready to gag. He was more sorry than he could say, he was ready to tip off of a cliff.

“Watari-san?” Light’s quiet voice broke him out of his stupor. The old man at L’s knee looked up curiously.

“How may I help you, Yagami-kun?”

The brunet steepled his fingers unconsciously. “Watari-san…” He looked away, as if embarrassed, but there was no heat to his cheeks, no nervous bend to his lips. “I-I need a change of clothes. I think L ripped my pants.”

L’s eyes darted to the boy’s waistband, spying the wide, long gash that tore through the worn material. _That hadn’t been there before!_ “I have done nothing of the sort-” The detective began, but stopped himself with a cry when Watari flicked one of his bruises hard.

“Of course, Yagami-kun. Misa, go get something from the older children.”

Misa saluted, giving Light a final little cuddle before hopping away out of the room. L didn’t take his eyes off of him, carefully analysing the downward tilt to his head, the hooded chestnut eyes, the slight, slight grimace that meant he was making sure not to think about something.

L narrowed his eyes. “What are you scheming, Yagami Raito?”

The brunet raised his chin, looking pointedly at the wall opposite him. L pouted, crossing his arms. “Yes, ignore me. That’s very mature.”

“You have no right to be talking about maturity.” Watari rebuked.

The detective sighed. “Can you stop ganging up on me? It takes two to make a fight.”

“Yeah, well, it only takes one to make sexual assault.” Light shot out. L cringed, nibbling on his thumbnail to keep himself from apologising.

“Technically, it takes two for that too.” The detective muttered, and Watari made a sound of disgust.

“Shame on you, L Lawliet. I have taught you better than this.”

“You have taught me nothing.” He grumbled. “You are the ex-founder of my alumnus and my legal guardian, Watari. You aren’t my father.”

He realised how terrible that sounded the minute it left his mouth, but it was already too late. Watari shook his head and stood up. “I did not realise you feel that way about me, L.”

“Well, Watari, you were the one being presumptuous. After all, it isn’t like you view me as a son either.”

Light winced. “L, God…”

Watari gave him a steely, stoic glance. “No desserts for the rest of the week, and you can treat your injuries yourself.” He glanced at L’s bruised wrist. “You will return the handcuffs to Misa.”

“No!” The word escaped him before his brain could catch up. “No, Watari. Misa does not keep a vigilant eye on him!”

“Yeah, of course she wouldn’t. She’s not a fucking voyeur.” Light said, examining the usually manicured nails he had chipped while trying to tear off L’s leg.

L scoffed. “Voyeur, eh? What’s next, Raito-kun? Pedophilia? Bestiality? Necrophilia?”

The teenager spun dramatically towards him, both hands braced on the bed so that he could lean in close to L’s face. The pale man could catch an in-detail glimpse of Light’s lips from here, their slow healing from an irritated red to their usual pale pink. The brunet poked him hard in the chest with every word. “You’re a. Sick. Bastard.”

L raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t do anything to you, Raito-kun. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“You just _forced_ yourself on me, that’s what you did.”

“You’re making it a lot bigger than it is…” L began, until he saw Watari’s aggressively disappointed expression. “ _Alright_ , I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to force myself on you, obviously. I don’t know what had gotten into me and I will never do it again. Please drop the subject.”

Disgruntled, Light looked like he was going to say something scathing in reply, but Misa chose that very minute to burst in with a cheery squeal. “I got the clothes, Raito-kun! Here you go!”

The brunet was slightly startled by her appearance, which made the split-second change of expression ever so much more likely to be genuine. He smiled delightedly, his eyes bright. L narrowed his charcoal eyes and bit hard onto his thumbnail.

Light got to his feet, holding the frame of the bed for support and extra melodrama, an exaggeratedly pained expression on his face and glanced shyly at Watari. “Um. Where can I change?”

“The attached bathroom would be fine, we have secured it already.” Watari said, and L sighed. His guardian was usually better at this. His judgement was clouded because of his misplaced guilt. Looks like L would have to take the bullet for the team once more.

As Light began to walk towards the bathroom, L hopped to his feet as well, slumping along behind him. Light noticed, frowning and stopping in his tracks. What he didn’t expect, however, was for a heavy hand to fall on his shoulder. “Where do you think you’re going?”

L suppressed a growl of frustration. “Stop nagging me, Watari. You have never expressed doubts as to my methods before.”

It was when Watari switched to English that he knew there was a major problem afoot. “That is because when it comes to Yagami Raito, you act like a bloody imbecile! I think it’s about time we start rethinking your precious strategies, L. You made your bleeding mistakes, so fix them! Stop _justifying_ yourself!”

L switched similarly, feeling his anger bubble up again. He glared at the aged inventor, his hands in fists. “Watari, for God’s sake, leave me alone. I am the one you trained to be L, so let me be L. Stop getting in my way!”

“I will get in your way, L, if you choose to assault a young man you kidnapped and brought here against his will! We are supposed to be focussing on Near, and I hear from Misa that instead of investigating, you write in a little diary about your daydreams with the Yagami Raito of the past! Bollocks! This isn’t the dedication I am expecting from the Detective L!”

“They’re not _daydreams_ -” L whipped his head to the side when he heard the bathroom door snick shut. He had lingered for too long, Yagami Raito had entered it with nobody’s permission and a blatant disregard for their agreement, just as he had expected.

Incensed, L loped towards the door and tried the doorknob. “Raito, let me inside! Don’t you dare lock this door!”

Raito’s voice was that of a petulant child. “I’ll only be five seconds.”

L banged on the door with his fist. “Let me in or I’m going to break the door open!”

“But I don’t have my pants on!” Light pleaded, and that was when it was confirmed that the sneaky bastard had something up his sleeve. The black-haired man took a few steps backward and readied his foot.

“I’m going to break it open, Raito!”

“No! Don’t, I don’t-” Light was interrupted by L’s expert shot at the doorknob, cracking it unlocked and swinging the door wide open. He stalked inside and found Light in front of the toilet, his hand on the flush. His pants were indeed off, exposing his long tan legs, and he was holding the curve of his wrist in one hand as if shielding something from view.

“Please, don’t come closer-” Light began in an obviously forced despondent voice when L marched towards him, yanking his hand roughly off.

“What are you doing, Yagami-” He paused, and his eyes grew wide in alarm. “What…? What is this?”

The boy had scratched three long red lines along his wrist with his nails, much like the kind he had inflicted on L only half an hour ago, the blood beading over the injury and dripping into the toilet. L felt a stab of fear go through him. “Light…”

The brunet ducked his head, as if embarrassed, and L quickly pulled the arm to the sink, running it under the water and cleaning the blood from it. He was speechless, baffled.

This was just like the old Raito, but his nervous tic had been his palm, scratching it until it bled when he thought about things that hurt him. He would go to the bathroom like this  too, making excuses to hide his compulsions.

But this was a new level. This was the intentional wounding of an area he _wasn’t_ compulsively attached to. It was meant to hurt himself in a masochistic, self-destructive way…

And it was entirely uncalled for.

This Light was completely psychologically healthy. He had tested it himself, and L had excellent credentials in psychological analysis. This Light was fine, he was a go-getter, an optimist, he had none of the dirty memories that poisoned the old Light’s mind.

L looked into his eyes and was greeted with a self-satisfied smirk.

Whatever he had been plotting, he had completed it halfway. There was something there, some backup idea, except he hadn’t had the time to put it into fruition. These cuts were desperate work to call the attention off of something else.

The detective gave him a dead-eyed stare, screwing the sink’s knob closed. Light’s smirk grew.

“I do this sometimes when I’m stressed. You know, like when I’m sexually assaulted and thrown into a brawl with a man five years older than me. I’m a young noble mate, you know. Delicate, fragile.” He whispered tauntingly. “Watari probably won’t be very pleased to see this.”

“You think you’re so clever, Yagami Raito.” L snarled, consciously knowing that he should be feeling resentful, irritated with him.

Light winked. “You know I am.”

And he would be lying to himself if he didn’t acknowledge the jolt of excitement it sent through him, the kind of thrill he hadn’t felt for months now.

“Seven.” He said.

“Seven?”

The detective lowered his gaze, looking up at Light from under his thick black eyelashes. “Seven years between us, Raito-kun.” He grinned teasingly and sauntered out of the bathroom, waiting by the doorway for Light to put on his clothes and follow him.

The thrill of the chase was on, and he would be damned if he didn’t know Raito loved it just as much as he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so interesting writing the dynamic between Watari and L, Watari tries to be a parental figure while staying emotionally detached and L is so naturally ungrateful XD
> 
> Anyway, I hope you're liking the story! Review and comment please! :D


	17. Rock

Matt was so damn sick of being the mediator.

BB, Mello, L, Near and even Misa for God’s sake, all of them were so detached from reality. Matt was the only one who was _normal_. The only thing special about him was how well he could work technology. He wasn’t an eccentric and, in his opinion at least, he wasn’t a genius. Literally the only person he had ever related to was _Light_ , and that was only because Light was fantastic at pretending to be ordinary.

Maybe what they all needed was to be brought down a  notch. Maybe if they tried that out, he wouldn’t have to constantly keep the windows closed to stop Mello and BB from screaming Russian obscenities and chucking rocks at random drivers for the entirety of their mission.

“Matty, jeez. You’ve got to chill out.” Mello drawled, clicking the button that lowered the window at his side. Grimacing, Matt punched him hard and slid it shut again from the driver’s seat. The blonde huffed incredulously. “I just want some air!”

“I want some air too. You stink.” BB contributed from the backseat. “I get that you smoke, Matt, but heck, it’s not like _I_ smell like _blood_ all the time.”

“That’s a terrible analogy, B.” Mello rested his elbow on the dashboard, watching Matt openly with that irritatingly amused grin still on his face. “Besides, you should probably not mention other people smelling bad. At least Matt here bathes every day.”

“Can you guys just shut up, already? I’m trying to drive. Do you want me to crash this car?” Matt jerked the steering wheel sharply to the side.

He manoeuvred around a particularly slow driver who honked loudly at them. _“Suka blyat!”_ Mello yelled in Russian, starting to lower the window again _. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”_

Matt punched his arm again, and the blonde rubbed it resentfully. “What? _He’s_ the one driving slow! Did you _see_ him beep at us?”

“Hear.” BB corrected from the backseat.

Mello pursed his lips. “Look, BB, if you want to correct my grammar, you can try not to be the most mentally unstable person in this car.”

“I’m not the most mentally unstable person in this car.” BB snarked, leaning forward. “Want me to demonstrate?”

Matt felt blind panic course through his veins. “No! Don’t you fucking dare!” He glanced at him through the rear-view mirror. “Don’t you dare, B, put that rock down! I’ll tell L, I swear to God!”

“And what’ll _L_ do?” BB grinned maniacally. “Will he give me detention?”

Mello chuckled maliciously. “I’ll tell _Light_.”

The car suddenly got too quiet. Mello wished he had the time to park and just bury his head in the mud.

“What did you just say?” BB whispered, the rock large and heavy in his huge hand. Mello wasn’t bothered, tilting his head so that he met the murderer’s crimson eyes.

“I said, I’ll tell Light. He’s pretty good at giving out detentions, isn’t he?”

“Say that again.” BB raised the hand, the stone glinting dully in the light. “Say that again, I dare you.”

“Mello…” Matt pleaded. Goddamn it, they had a mission to go on. If they didn’t find shelter soon, they’d start becoming a burden on Roger, and the guilt from that was really the last thing Watari’s heart needed.

“You have a lot of nerve, Mihael Keehl.” BB hissed, his voice quiet and malicious. “You have a lot of fucking nerve-”

His rock swung down in an arc, but there was suddenly a pistol in place of the blonde. Mello was grinning widely, his hands stretched out, cocking the gun to the best of his ability in the cramped space. “What’s up, Beyond Birthday? There’s a common saying about a gun and a knife fight, have you heard it?”

“Oh, you’ll never fucking dare-”

The shot rang out clear as day, shattering the rear window of the car and throwing bits and shards of glass into BB’s hair. Matt screamed, swerving and coming to a stop by the pavement.

“What the fuck? _What the fuck?_ Mello, what the _fuck?”_ Matt shouted, hitting the steering wheel with the flat of his palm. “We’re supposed to go undetected! We can’t be pulled over for having a gunshot hole in the car! And _did you just try to kill Beyond?”_

“He dared me, Matt. He fucking dared me, I can’t back down from that.”

“Get out!” Matt screeched. “Get out of the car right now!”

Mello blinked his big blue eyes innocently at him. “Matt, what are you-”

“Both of you! _Get out!”_

From the back, BB dusted off the glass from his bushy black hair. “Both of us? I didn’t shoot a gun inside the car.”

The redhead screamed out a groan, slamming the steering wheel with his fist. “You tried to crush Mello with a rock! Get out of my car! Just _go!”_

“Matt, how the fuck are we-” Mello began, but the redhead cut him off with a fierce look.

BB groaned. “Whatever. I’m out.” He swung the door open and daintily floated out, stomping off into the grubby industrial neighbourhood of East Shingata.

Mello hesitated longer, but when he saw the murderous intent in Matt’s eyes, he stuck his gun back in his holster. “You sure you’ll be okay? He’s gone now, so-”

“I’ll be fine as long as you’re not fucking blowing guns in cars, Mello!” The redhead turned his nose up, and Mello sighed.

“The mafia are _my_ friends, Matt-”

“I don’t give a fuck, Mells. I’m just as good at negotiations as you are, and they all know who I am. Now get out of my sight.”

“Alright.” He stepped out of the car and banged the door shut. He came around to Matt’s side, sticking his nose inside through the now-open window. “If you need anything, just call-”

Without another word, Matt smashed the accelerator and zoomed out of there.

* * *

“Raito-kuuuuun, Misa is bored! When Misa got handcuffed to you, she thought she could hang out with _you!_ Not with _L-san!”_

Light shifted away, trying to get Misa out of his rolling chair. If there was one thing he had figured out in the past fifteen minutes, it was that Misa had no concept of personal space.

He wasn’t sure if he should be feeling elated or paranoid at the moment. L had seemed to figure out that the whole self-harm excuse was just that, an excuse, which wasn’t particularly good for him, but he also had no idea that Matt was missing his phone, or that it was what was hidden in the bathroom.

The bathroom really was the perfect place for it. There were three bars of signal, there was a secure hiding place behind the toilet which was full of mould, rot and spiders that nobody would look inside, not even L. Plus, Light was likeliest to be given some semblance of privacy in there for at least a few seconds, just enough for him to dial in a number and demand a saviour.

He had been ready to call someone before he’d even hidden it, except L hadn’t even given him two seconds before he’d ploughed the door down and pumped him for explanations. He was lucky the phone was ancient, disposable and practically indestructible because that hiding place still made his fingers curl.

He itched absently at the bandage covering the scratches along his forearm. He had made them with his fingernails. The trick was to press in and pretend that it was the arm of somebody you hate, like, say, your father for sending you off for the sectioning despite the fact that you’re the first-born, or your mother, for not protesting it in the slightest. Or L. L would work too.

“Raito-kuuuuun!” Misa whined, grabbing his arm. “Let’s go! L-san isn’t going to do anything fun! We can go watch a movie or something!”

Light shrugged her off, trying his most apologetic smile on her. “Misa-san, I’d love to. But…later, okay? I’d like to give L a chance to properly apologise.”

L snorted. He was typing furiously into his laptop with the promise of showing him something interesting. It either meant he would show him Sayu and Mikami on a live feed or the head of one of their previous kidnapping victims as a warning against rebellion. Not that Light would let anything like that deter him from his escape plans. He had let himself be trapped enough by the people in his life, he wasn’t going to do it again.

“Hey, Raito-kun…” Misa’s voice dropped in pitch, her lips suddenly close to his ear. He could feel her breath in his hair. “Does you hate L-san?”

Light leaned away from her. “Um…”

“I mean, you did a number on each other.” Misa giggled. “Doesn’t Raito hate L-san by now?”

The brunet shrugged. “Well, I guess you could say that.” To be honest, he wasn’t actually sure. He did hate him, in the traditional sense. But there was some weird twist in the mix. When he looked at the raven-haired detective, it didn’t feel like the kind of hate he felt for anybody else. It wasn’t contempt or disapproval. It was this strange feeling that sent his heart beating a million miles a minute, that gave him the scent of challenge, of competition, of drive. He hadn’t felt drive in quite some time now.

“You can’t love what you hate, right?” Misa’s lips made the briefest contact with the shell of his ear, her voice low and erotic. “You can’t be in a relationship with someone you don’t love, right?”

It struck him suddenly, what she was trying to say, and he had to cover his mouth to smother his laugh. “Misa-san, I’m not in a relationship with L. It’s all in his head.”

Misa grinned widely, her eyes sparkling. “Are you serious?” She screeched excitedly. “Are you serious, Raito, you don’t love him? You _hate_ him now?”

He glanced at L’s figure, where he was poised on his chair with his knees to his chest. He waited for the snappy retort or reminder about his alleged amnesia…but the detective didn’t seem to be giving a fuck about their conversation, pulling up pages and pages of information with single-minded determination.

“Well, yeah. I guess you could say that.” Light muttered, staring at L, feeling…disappointed, somewhat. Why was he disappointed? Wasn’t it a good thing that the man was giving up? The sooner he moved on, the sooner they would release him.

“Raitoooo! Misa is so happy! Does this mean she can kiss you now?” She squealed, throwing her hands in the air.

“Um…” He gave L another glance. _Nothing_. “Sure.”

He hadn’t experimented with heterosexuality in awhile. He had been quite the ladies’ man at fifteen and sixteen, but ever since the sectioning, he had been forced into exclusively homosexual relationships as preparation for his final suitor. Maybe it would be a nice experience with Misa, maybe he could just give it a shot. After all, she was very enthusiastic about it, and she was undeniably beautiful.

“Yay!” Misa whooped and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Oh my gosh, Misa is so happy! She’s going to do such a good job!”

Light barely had the time to blink before she had pressed her full red lips to his. He nearly drew back, his still-fresh bruises stinging slightly. He swallowed his reluctance to take her face in his hands, opening his mouth against hers. She gave out a little sigh and tightened her arms around him.

He closed his eyes, staring into the darkness, taking in the feeling of another person’s mouth in his. Their lips moved in unison, the other person’s tongue touched the bottom of his lip and let itself in, gently running over the base of his teeth. He whimpered and pushed harder into him, tasting the sweetness of cake and sugar, tangling his fingers in dense black hair…

_He’d missed this…_

Misa shoved herself away hurriedly and Light opened his eyes. She rolled her chair as far from him as she could with the handcuffs joining them, her hands clapped over her mouth.

Light frowned, confused. He’d always been a good kisser, there was no doubt about it, but the shock in Misa’s round hazel eyes, the tenseness of her stance was telling a different story. The brunet glimpsed at L and found that he had stopped typing, still as a statue, his huge black eyes staring blankly into the wall in front of him.

Unsettled, Light bit his lip. “Um, I’m sorry. What did I do wrong?”

Misa stared at him, colour rising to her cheeks, and abruptly slapped him hard across the face. Tears pooled in her eyes and she got to her feet. “You _liar!_ You lied to me! I hate you! You lied to me, you used me! _Bastard!”_

Light cooled his stinging cheek with the flat of his palm, startled. “Misa, I have no idea what you’re talking about-”

 _“Bastard!_ Of course you don’t! You’re like every other noble, you just _use_ me!” She shrieked, drawing her hand back to slap him again. He braced himself, squeezing his eyes shut, but the blow didn’t strike.

He peeked to see L’s form in front of him, his white sweatshirt blocking his line of sight. He had grabbed Misa’s wrist, for once breaking out of his slouch to tower over the model.

“Leave.” L commanded in his deep monotone. “Take off the handcuff and leave.”

“Gladly!” She bit out, quickly pulling the key from the pocket of her gothic Lolita skirt and unlocking the cuff. She shoved it at the detective, whirled around on her heel and ran out of the room, her feet pattering on the ground. The door slammed behind her.

Light watched as L sighed, deflating back to his slouch, locking the handcuff back around his own arm.

“I-I don’t know what happened.” The teenager stammered. “I swear to God, I didn’t do anything wrong-”

L shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“T-then what is it? Do you know why she’s mad?”

The detective sat back down in his rolling chair. “You may have…said something as you kissed her.”

“Said something?” The brunet traced the scabs along the base of his palms. “What did I say?”

“It was…more of a moan. It seems Amane Misa brings out quite a reaction in you.” L gave him a wry smile.

Embarrassment coloured him pink. “I can’t believe this.” He buried his face in his hands.

Pale fingers ruffled the hair near his ear reassuringly. “You can be sure it wasn’t the moan that was the problem, Amane Misa would have been delighted if you had moaned _her_ name.”

Light’s eyes widened. “Oh no. What…what did I say? Did I call for Mikami?”

“No.” L blurted out instantly. “There is no way in hell that would ever happen, I don’t even want to imagine it.”

“Who, then?” The brunet blinked up at him.

L bit the nail of his forefinger, his midnight eyes darting away. “Well…I don’t know how to tell you so you would believe me, so I won’t. Suffice it to say that it was very informative. It helped me deduce what was done to you.”

The teenager raised his eyebrows. “What did you figure out?”

“I’ll tell you when I have the details ironed out. For now, we must focus on the case, or Watari will come inside and give me a spanking.”

“Case?”

“Yes, Raito-kun. The Case of the Missing Successor. I’m sure the great Kira will consider it below his standards, but it will mean a great deal if he deigns to help me.”

“I’m not Kira.” Light murmured, but a smile quirked his lips anyway.

L chewed on the end of his thumbnail and waved him over to look at the screen lit up with the schematics of one of Tawakoshi’s several asylums. “Sure you’re not, Raito-kun. But whatever it may be, it would only benefit the case to have you assist me. Would you help if I promise Near is innocent?”

“I wouldn’t believe you if you did, but sure. I’ve always loved detective work.” Light rolled his chair forward and suppressed the huge smile that threatened to break free on his face. He glanced into L’s gigantic black eyes and felt cold fingers briefly flit over his injured cheek before they landed back on the keyboard and clattered away.

Of course it was hate he felt in his gut right now, twisting his stomach into knots and filling him with warmth he hadn’t felt for years. How could it be anything else?

* * *

Sayu Yagami was just wandering along the streets in front of the warehouse she had spent the evening in, using her cellphone as a GPS to find the nearest motel when she heard a loud ruckus come from a few metres away. She could see two men coming in her direction, one a large man with fluffy black hair and the other a slim, boyish one with a blond bob and leather jacket. They were arguing loudly, the blonde carrying a revolver and the black-haired man clutching a rock like a caveman on a homicidal rampage.

Sayu gasped, flitting into the bushes. They were anarchists! She could tell by how gangster-like they looked, with their colourful bandannas and the impoverished glaze to their skin.

She watched from behind the bushes as the black-haired man tossed his rock over his shoulder. “You suck, Keehl! You’re such a wuss! You can’t even fight me like a man!”

“Oh yeah? Well, at least I’m not stupid, B!” The blonde declared, sticking his gun into its holster. The one called B scoffed.

“I’m so sick of you. You’re such a gay prick.” His eyes darted around, and Sayu could swear he looked straight at her where she squatted in the bushes. “I’m going to go pee. Get the fuck lost.”

“I’m not waiting for you!” The blonde called as B walked off towards the warehouse behind Sayu’s bushes. The black-haired man shrugged.

“That’s what get lost _means_ , Keehl.”

“Okay! Screw you!” Keehl flipped him off and sauntered away.

Sayu watched as B entered the warehouse and breathed a sigh of relief. _Thank god_. Now she had to get out of here as fast as she could-

The minute she popped out of her shrubbery, she felt hands grab her tightly and drag her easily away backwards. She opened her mouth to scream, but by the time any sound came out, she was already inside the warehouse, thrown like luggage onto the floor, sliding a bit on her butt before she came to a stop by the wall.

She sucked in a breath, looking up at the black-haired man, his whiter-than-white face split with a huge psychotic grin. “And what do we have here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, Sayu, you try so hard and come into the clutches of Beyond Birthday :( And yeah, I've been wanting a little onesided MisaxLight for awhile XD
> 
> In my defence, I'd pre-written this chapter, so sorry about the extreme fast upload XD
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	18. The Game

“Raito-kun? Would you like a carrot?”

Light squinted blearily at the sunlight flooding the room, disoriented. He covered his eyes with his hand. “Wha...”

“Raito-kun. Carrots?”

“Carrots?” He rubbed his eyes. “Why would I want carrots?”

“I thought it would alleviate your guilt from the multiple cakes you had for dinner.”

 _“Dinner?”_ Light was suddenly wide awake. He looked around, running his fingers through his sleep-mussed hair. “What time is it? Where am I? What’s happening?”

The tiny office L had taken him into the previous evening was now brightly lit, the curtains thrown back and daylight streaming inside. It made the room look smaller still, the rickety desks and worn leather wheelie chairs overshadowed by the shiny chrome computers. Light sat up, rubbing his forearm. He’d been lying flat on the desk, deep asleep, the hard edges of the wood and the rim of the handcuff in his skin slicing imprints into his skin.

“What time is it?” He asked groggily, turning to L, stretching his aching back. He screwed up his nose. “Stop looking at me like that, I just woke up.”

“Looking at you like what?” L asked innocently, nibbling on a choco-chip cookie. “And it’s two thirty in the afternoon.”

“Two thirty in the _what?”_ He stared at the detective, whose eye bags looked ever so much more prominent now that he realised why he had them. “You couldn’t wake me?”

“No.” L sat down in the chair beside him. Light groaned, punching his shoulder.

“Fuck off, Ryuuzaki. You’re such an asshole.”

 _“Ryuuzaki?”_ L cocked his head, his eyes widening until they looked like big black marbles. “Raito-kun, you didn’t forget-?”

Light laughed. “No, no. I remember who you are, don’t worry. Just…Ryuuzaki suits you.”

“Why?” The detective raised the carrot he held, offering it wordlessly. Light declined with a wave of his hand.

“It just…describes you, for some reason. Like, the sound. The word. _Ry-uu-zaki_.” He rolled it over his tongue, clicking the final syllable and laughing. “I sound so stupid, I’m sorry. This is just-”

“How you are when you wake up. I know.” L stated monotonously. The brunet groaned again.

“You just can’t help yourself, can you? You just need to be as creepy as you can in the shortest amount of time possible. God.”

L’s smile was unnervingly cute as he crunched his cookie. “Raito-kun has stinky breath.”

“Shut up.” Light shoved him, getting to his feet and stretching. His body felt like he had squeezed it into a safe half his size for a week. “Could you take me back to the restroom?”

“Certainly. There’s one on the first floor landing.”

The teenager felt slightly crestfallen. “I thought that room we’d had our bruises treated in was ours. Why aren’t we using it?”

“It was meant to be.” L smirked. “I’d hate to give you flashbacks of your self-harm, Raito-kun. I’d prefer if you are never allowed to use that bathroom again.”

 _Bastard_. Light gave him a withering look, flouncing off out of the door into the hallway. He’d get that phone one way or another. Nobody was going to find it where it was, so all he needed to do was slip out of the handcuffs for five minutes.

L caught up with him easily, directing him towards the restroom. “You’d better be quiet. The children are having classes right now, and they will continue to have them until six. Any disturbance in Whammy’s curriculum and he will kill you.”

“Whammy?”

L slapped his forehead. “Forget I said anything. I keep forgetting you’ve forgotten.”

Light rolled his eyes. “Clever.” He kept walking even after L stopped, the chain clinking taut between them.

“Bathroom, Raito-kun.” The detective swung the door beside him open and Light stalked back, slipping inside without ceremony. “I procured an unused toothbrush for you.” He offered, pointing at the only red one in the cup. “I warn you not to leave it here, the orphans may be greedy for something new.”

The brunet cringed. “Don’t you buy them stuff?”

“With the limited amount of money Roger can siphon from our other orphanage in England without drawing attention, yes. Ever since my accounts were frozen, I’ve been in a bit of a fix.”

Light squirted on the toothpaste he found by the sink and brushed his teeth in silence, deep in thought.

“Hey, L.” He said, washing his mouth. The detective glanced at him, and the brunet met his dark eyes in the mirror. “I don’t think I said it before, I’m really thankful for the detective work you’re letting me do.”

L hummed, pleased. “It’s no problem, Raito-kun. You are a big help. It almost seems as if you want Near back as much as I do.”

“Well…” Light shrugged. “It’s more about the puzzle, really. It’s amazing, with all the data and decoding, it’s so much fun. I’ve never done anything like it before, and you’re a brilliant partner. Nothing makes me stay up late and sleep in, but I’d make an exception for this anytime.”

“I know, Raito-kun.” He said.

“Ugh. Stop saying you know.” The brunet said crabbily. “Stop saying things like that. You can’t possibly know everything about me, it’s bullshit.”

L raised his eyebrows. “Well, then what is your explanation for it?”

“I don’t know…” Light let out a huff of exasperation. “You’re a good detective, it’s not far-fetched to imagine your research on me would have been thorough. Just stop mentioning it, it keeps reminding me that you’re evil.”

“Hmm…” L rubbed his thumb along the bottom of his lip. He was silent for a while as Light wiped his face off.

“Raito-kun?” He finally said, just as Light was about to ask to use the toilet. The brunet let the question die on his lips. L was more than likely going to want to watch.

“What?”

L tapped his lip with his thumb, pensive. “I have a lot of secrets from you, don’t I?”

Light snorted. “Is that a trick question?”

“I have secrets from you, and you have secrets from me as well.”

The brunet cocked an eyebrow.

L nodded. “You have spent all night selflessly working on the name-decoding program and reproducing all the likely configurations the government could have used to hide Near’s identity. I figure you are due a break.” He broke into a toothy grin. “Would you like to play a game with me over lunch?”

The teenager eyed him warily. “A game?”

“Don’t worry, it is quite straightforward. The rules are: I ask you a question about myself. If you are able to answer, you may force me to reveal one of my secrets. And vice versa.”

“So like Truth or Dare, without the dares.” Light smirked, amused. It sounded like the detective had been pondering about this game for awhile.

The black-haired man sucked in a breath. “No, it is more of an investigative game. Deductive reasoning and the like. The bigger the secret, the more points you get. It will help us establish trust between each other. I do want you to trust me.”

The teenager folded his arms. _Points, eh?_ His competitive streak reared its head. “So you need to answer my questions if I’m able to deduce something about your past? But you’re a stalker. You obviously know more about me than I do about you.”

L chewed on the nail of his little finger. “Precisely. You can ask what you determine a stalker would not know about you. That way, I can prove to you that I’m _not_ one. Two birds with one stone.”

“That seems fair.” Light said.

“Brilliant. Let’s go.” L whirled around and made to stomp right out of the room.

“Wait up, Ryuuzaki.” Light tugged the chain. He glanced back uncomfortably at the toilet. “Um, before we go…”

* * *

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Yagami.”

Naomi Misora was shooting him a strange look over her sandwich, looking every bit as intimidating as possible in her black leather motorcycle jacket, but Raito barely paid her a fleeting glance. The bulk of his attention was focussed on the woman sitting beside her. Her blond hair was twisted into a bun and mascara had run in tracks along her face.

Embarrassment of this magnitude was a  foreign emotion to Light Yagami. He wasn’t the type to ever mess up badly enough to feel the bile burn his throat or the blood heat his face up to his eyeballs.

Light nodded jerkily in response to Misora’s greeting. L grunted amusedly. “Indeed, Misora-san. I had forgotten how dedicated he can get to projects.”

“Well, you’re no one to talk.” Naomi scoffed. “I haven’t seen you in nearly a day, and you weren’t even asleep.”

L shrugged apathetically. “Come, Raito-kun. There are sandwiches left over from the orphans’ lunch.” He jingled the chain, leading him forward. Light yanked it out of his hand.

“I’m not a _dog_ , Ryuuzaki.”

Naomi perked up. “Oh, is that your alias now? Ryuuzaki?”

L smiled. “No, I’m not using an alias. It is the name I picked at random when I was rescuing Raito-kun from his fiancé. He’s taken a shine to it.”

“He takes a shine to _all_ of L-san’s names.” Misa muttered. “But when Misa asks him to focus on her _one_ _tiny_ _name_ , he can’t get even _that_ right.” The blond girl bit savagely into her lunch. Misora batted her arm.

“Who asked you to meddle in their relationship?”

 _“Raito-kun_ did!” She gestured animatedly at him. “He told me he was over L-san!”

L, who had been observing the scene with some amusement, chuckled. “Come, Raito-kun. This way.” Light ducked his head and hurried forward, unwilling to meet Misa’s eyes.

There were three sandwiches left inside a large cardboard box behind the counter, covered by a flimsy plastic sheet. Light wrinkled his nose at it, reluctant to touch anything that looked so mouldy. L reached in and picked two up. “It’s perfectly hygienic, Raito-kun. Trust me.”

Light took the tray and trailed Ryuuzaki to the table he chose on the far side of the cafeteria, farthest from Misora and Misa. He looked down at his meagre lunch, took a deep breath and nibbled at the middle of one of them. “Hmm, they’re not bad.”

“I would hope not. The orphans would riot if the food was anywhere below standard.” L drew out a lollipop and licked it quickly, pink tongue darting out like a cat. “Shall we play our game now?”

“You’re really eager for this.” Light gave him a sardonic look. “You’re going to cheat, aren’t you?”

“No.” The detective stuck the lollipop into his mouth. “No, I just have a lot of questions I would like Raito-kun to answer. To the best of his ability, of course.”

This didn’t sound good. Light munched his food, letting the taste of cheese sit on his tongue. “Alright, but I get to start.”

The pale man pouted, sucking on his lollipop. “No…he who strikes first wins…”

“Exactly.” Light grinned. “So. What’s my question?”

“Ugh.” L grumbled. “Fine.” He thought for a minute, his eyes travelling about the room. “Where was I born?”

“England.” Light answered unhesitatingly. L cocked his head, intrigued.

“Why would you say that?”

Light shrugged. “Well, apart from the fact that the rock you threw into my window had the word England carved into it? Watari has an English accent and you said he’s your guardian. Besides that, your other orphanage is there and the files on your computer are all in English with an option for translation into Shingatese.”

The detective pulled his lollipop out of his mouth with a smack. “English is a universal language.”

Light didn’t take his eyes off of the older man’s. “Yeah, but that combined with the other evidence makes my case.”

L tapped the stick of his candy on the table. “And it is a compelling case…except it is wrong. I was born in the slums of Tawakoshi. I am the son of a Shingatese commoner, adopted by an Englishman who noticed my intellectual superiority by stumbling into my school scores through dumb luck.” He smiled victoriously. “My turn.”

Light’s mouth fell open. “No, come on, that’s bullshit. How was I supposed to know that?”

“I thought you were a fan of mine, Raito-kun.” L said teasingly. Light felt his blood boil.

“That’s bullshit. Literally the only things I know about you are that you are a foreign detective who has been outlawed in Shingata for human rights violations. How the fuck am I supposed to know where you were born?”

L pursed his lips. “Raito-kun is a sore loser.”

“Fuck you.” Light polished off his sandwich in two bites. “Fine, just do your turn.”

“You should ask me a question.” L said patiently, and Light groaned.

“Fine. _Fine_. Which is my second favourite spot in my house?” Light snickered. “Yeah. How does it feel to be given a bullshit question?”

L bit back a smirk. “You will never change, Raito-kun.”

“Oh, _sure_. Who’s the sore loser now?”

The black-haired man swallowed his candy. “It is the roof.”

Light stopped mid-gloat to stare blankly at him. “What?”

L was chewing on the nail of his forefinger with a self-satisfied smirk. “The first place is your own room, and the second, the roof.”

Light’s mouth opened and closed speechlessly. “That…that’s bullshit!” He managed. “How could you possibly know that? Even if you were my lover or whatever-”

“You are a very systematic person. You are private and secretive, so obviously your favourite spot would be your own room. And when we were together, you used to spend a great deal of time standing outside or watching the rain from the window, so I made the deduction that your second favourite spot would be the area that allows you the greatest view. I have seen the blueprints of your house as I prepared to break you out. I know that the best view is from the roof.”

The irritation of having lost quickly and abruptly melted away. Light squeezed his lips together, his nails piercing the skin of his palm. Above all, he felt _flattered_ , and that was the wrong emotion to be feeling. This man…he’s not a normal stalker. He’s worse, he’s _obsessed_.

L sighed. “It’s going to take more than simple evidence to convince you I am not a stalker, isn’t it? C’est la vie. I won, so you must answer me truthfully.”

Reluctantly, Light nodded. L drew his knees closer to his chest, hugging them as his tar-black eyes bored into him.

“Tell me, Yagami Raito, what is your explanation for your scar?”

* * *

The minute the words exited L’s mouth, Light turned sheet-white. The boy blinked at him, his amber eyes huge, and turned his gaze away.

“I’d rather not talk about that.”

“Are you afraid it might not hold up? After all, it is the focal point of my whole case. The surgical scar over the crown of your head, exactly where neurosurgeons would operate to modify memories? What else could it be?”

Light shadowed his eyes with his long chestnut fringe. “I’d really rather not talk about it, L. Please.”

L sat up on his knees, feeling his deductive powers rise by 40%. “I think that it is a rationalisation drilled into you by your fiancé which you never questioned, which is why you are reluctant to say it out loud.”

“You fucking ignorant asshole.” The brunet bit out. “Don’t you make assumptions about me.”

“You are leaving me with no choice. If you keep hiding the truth-”

“I’m not _hiding_ it.” He snapped. “It’s none of your business.”

“The point of this game wasn’t to stick to our business, Raito. Unless you managed to miss the point entirely-”

“You’re such an asshole!” Light screamed, standing up suddenly. The bench shook, making L wobble on his perch. “You’re such a fucking meddling asshole! What is your problem? I’m telling you I’m not comfortable talking about what happened to me!”

L refused to stand up in turn, but straightened his back from his usual slouch. “The game is about establishing trust. It can only do that if-”

“But I _don’t_ trust you! You’re an anarchist, you’re a criminal and on top of all that, you’re a fucking insensitive _asshole!_ All you’ve done since I met you is make my life hell, as if I needed you to do that! I _already_ live in hell, L! I don’t need you to keep taking me there! I don’t need you to remind me that I’m a disgusting pathetic sap who needs to grow up! I’m sick and tired of you judging me, I have enough people doing that already!”

There was a silence. Light stood still, his breaths heaving. His face slowly relaxed from fury to an emptiness as he fell back onto his chair and rested his forehead on the table.

L watched him quietly for a little while before reaching out and poking him with a long pale finger. “Raito-kun?”

The boy did not reply, which only encouraged the detective to poke him harder. “Raito-kun?”

“Damn it, L, go away.” His voice was thick, but L was relieved to hear that he wasn’t having an emotional breakdown.

“Raito-kun, I don’t think you’re a pathetic sap who needs to grow up.” L said anxiously. “I don’t know how you came to that conclusion.”

“It’s not _about_ you.” He snapped without raising his head, his voice muffled.

L was now at a loss. “Okay. I suppose any memory of surgery would have to be traumatic. I apologise for overstepping.”

“It’s not about the surgery either!” Light finally looked up, his eyes fiery. “God, L, you’re thick! It’s about _why_ I had the surgery! It’s about-” He groaned. “Look, just fine. I’ll tell you the fucking story.”

“Please do.” L settled into his slump again, getting comfortable with a gummy bear he pulled from his pocket. Light sighed gruffly, crossing his arms in front of him.

“Yeah. So, when I was fifteen I was an idiotic kid, mostly because I thought I was untouchable. Perfect kid of the Chief of Shingata, you know. I’m rich, popular, intelligent, whatever. Both me and my sister used to just die for the approval of my father. I’d only see him every alternate weekend, he was a busy man, but every now and then, he would turn up on a weekday to speak exclusively to me. He noticed I’m good at solving cases so he’d bring me cold cases and stuff.”

Light smirked faintly. “It made me feel so damn self-important, like I was better than Sayu because he would actually come home to talk to me, and that would make everyone happier. Every time he gave me a file I’d spend the next thirty hours working on it until he came to pick it up again. I’d tell him my theory or what he needed to do to progress the case and I was usually right. I didn’t know he was taking credit for them. He was using them to further his career.”

“So yeah, he usually came within two days to pick up the file. One day, though, I guess he was too busy, he never came. My mother was going to send him lunch, so I thought I’d deliver it so that I could return the file. I was stupid, I hadn’t considered that he wasn’t allowed to give me the files in the first place. He’s Yagami Soichiro. I don’t exactly associate him with rule breaking.”

“The receptionist said the phones weren’t working when I got to the Agency, so he just sent me directly up. I’d been there a hundred times, I knew where my father sat, so I agreed and went right up to his desk. I said hello, gave him his lunch, and pulled the file out of my jacket.”

The brunet laughed. “You should have seen his face. His veins were popping, he turned purple, he just grabbed the file from me and shushed me. I’d never seen him look at me like that before, like he was actually angry. Like an idiot, I naturally associated it with him thinking I hadn’t solved the case, so I freaked out. I shouted at the top of my lungs that I thought Shibuimaro Takuo, the prime suspect, was the killer.”

L sighed. He knew how this story went.

“And it didn’t stop there. When he yelled at me to lower my voice, I went and responded by asking him whether my last deduction had been right, because he hadn’t informed me that week.” He drummed his fingers together. “Maybe subconsciously, I knew he was taking credit for my contributions. Maybe I wanted the balance to be restored or something, because for the life of me, I don’t know why I did that.”

The black-haired man reached out and took Light’s hand in his. He let him.

“He got in major trouble, and I’m not even sure how he got out of it. There were at least fifteen detectives in the room when it happened, but he managed to save his career. To salvage his reputation, though, he needed to demean my intelligence, confirm that all I am is an attention-starved liar with no chance of being a genius. He did that by getting my teachers to flunk me in all my classes and then choosing me for the sectioning because, of course, mates are all stupid.”

Light had told L this story before, he knew how it went. He would meet Mikami shortly after, get engaged and run away within the week.

But there was no time for a head injury.

“Obviously, I didn’t like that.” Light continued, not noticing L’s puzzlement. “I’m a selfish, prideful idiot, so yeah, I didn’t like that. I met Mikami, and he was sweet and gracious and everything. For the first time since my father discarded me, someone was kind to me but as usual, I took it for granted. He started to show me cases of some criminals he was going to operate on. One in particular, Higuchi I think his name was, stood out to me as suspicious, and I really wanted to investigate further. So I hacked into the Shingata Police Agency using Mikami’s ID and got the information. I wanted to do some digging.”

“The case led me into the slums of Tawakoshi, so I rolled up my sleeves and snuck out in the middle of the night to spy on a pub where his mafia buddies met up every night. I found them, recognised them from the mugshots in the file and tried to spy on them. But they caught me. They realised what I was doing, and saw through my disguise, realised I was noble.”

L squeezed his hand, trying to give him emotional support the way Matt had taught him to. The teenager noticed his efforts and gave him a rueful smile. “Sorry, it’s just…this whole thing was so stupid…”

“It’s alright, Raito-kun. If it is any consolation, I don’t believe this story is true at all.” L patted his hand comfortingly.

When his words sank in, Light stiffened, staring incredulously at him. “Wait. What did you just say?” He pulled his hand away.

“No, no, you misunderstand.” L backtracked. “I believe you’re telling the truth. I don’t believe…fuck it. Finish the story, and then I’ll explain.”

“No, you explain it right now. You can’t say shit like that.” The brunet said, his jaw tight. His eyes flashed dangerously. “I would never lie about this, _never_. I should never have said anything-”

“Okay, I’ll explain.” He sighed, aggravated. “Light, does all of this come from your direct recollection of the event? Or is it second-hand information you planted into your memory after, say, hearing it from someone else?”

The boy glared at him. “The first part is direct recollection. The second part obviously can’t be, because those mafia members I was spying on hit me with a steel pipe.”

That took him by surprise. The detective just stared blankly at him for a few seconds. “Excuse me, but could you elaborate on that?”

The teenager gripped his elbows. “They caught me spying and dragged me outside. They recognised who I was, so they thought they could grab a good ransom from me. I made a huge fuss, and I must have pissed them off enough for one of them to hit me over the head. They assumed that I was dead, so they left me there after wiping off their prints and evidence. It’s lucky Mikami was already looking for me or I might have died for real. He saved my life, saved my brain and made me okay again. The impact and surgery resulted in my being in a coma. When I woke up, Mikami had to tell me everything that happened. He had to help me physically and mentally recover. It was very selfless of him, helping me fix my own mistakes.”

He shrugged. “So, yeah. The second part is second-hand. I’ve seen proof it exists, though. Mikami showed me pictures of myself bruised and battered from when I first came in, and they’re all legitimate. He couldn’t have faked them, I’d have noticed. He showed me Higuchi’s case file, the arrest records…even some blurry camera footage from that seedy pub.”

L took a deep breath and bit into a new gummy bear. There were so many things he could be telling him right at this moment. How he was being duped by Mikami, how the doctor could easily have inflicted those bruises on Light’s unconscious body himself before taking the pictures, how every detail about that story had been carefully crafted to appeal to Light’s own understanding of himself.

But the brunet wasn’t going to believe him, and that was the beauty of Mikami’s manipulation. He had made Light the most vulnerable he could have, and then he had inserted himself as the loving protector, the one who cared about him, who wanted, above all, for him to be okay.

Light was an intelligent young man. He was going to be able to see the inconsistencies, the gaps in his story. He could see it. He was just blocking it out.

L could work with that. It wasn’t an impossible task. After all, after hearing this story, L Lawliet, genius and prodigy, had figured out the exact method of surgery Mikami Teru had used to mutilate his Light. He would figure out a way to convince him, he would figure out exactly how to bring him back.

And if he couldn’t, he would have to settle for getting revenge.

L stood up, the chain jingling. “Our break is over. I think we should return to the office and resume our decoding session.”

Light looked up at him, surprised. “That’s it? You’re not cross-questioning me?”

“I believe I have invaded Raito-kun’s privacy for far too long today. Besides, we must get back to work eventually.” The detective said in his usual monotone, watching Light with hawk-eyes.

“But…” Light hesitated, and in that moment, L was certain of his deduction.

He knew the truth. He was just blocking it out. L could see it in those caramel eyes.

“Come, Raito-kun, I’m quite serious.” The detective pulled playfully on the chain. “We must find Near as quickly as possible.”

“L, I…” Light stopped himself with a sigh. L narrowed his eyes. He _wanted_ him to cross-question him. He wanted to reassure himself by going on the defensive. _He knew._ “Alright. Okay, let’s just go.”

On the way back to the office, L’s phone rang, and the caller ID was the number 2. Mello, Mihael Keehl. L quelled the instinctive irritation he felt for the blonde ever since the incident at the warehouse and smiled.

Perhaps it was good news. Perhaps their meeting with his mafia contacts went well, and they now had a new place to stay. Perhaps they could finally stop burdening Misora and Roger and strike out on their own again.

But, of course, it wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet! :D loved writing this one so much!
> 
> [also I'm in like the happiest mood ever since I aced my exams XD]
> 
> Review and comment please!


	19. Hunting

Sayu’s head was buzzing. She could barely open her eyes. The man, the anarchist, the murderer had punched her in the face so many times that they had puffed up and filled with tears. She was certain that her nose was bleeding too, but it was so numb around there she had no idea. Her hands were chained together, she was cornered against the wall of the warehouse, and she was ready to burst into tears and plead for mercy if she thought it would do any good.

“Well, what is a pretty little noble like you doing in a warehouse like this, eh?”

She screamed. She screamed and screamed until she felt the tendons pop out of her neck, but the murderer didn’t seem to give a single shit. He traced his butcher’s knife along her cheek, grinning madly.

“You have no idea how the world works, do you?” The murderer purred. “Maybe in your noble world people would come to help you if you scream.” He cackled with laughter. “How did you even get here? How could you possibly lose your way from your pretty little glass house? I’m genuinely curious.”

She licked her split lip and tasted the metallic flavour of blood. “Please let me go. I promise I’ll get you a reward, I can get my father to wire you some money, I can get you anything! What do you want? I can get anything, I swear!”

“Hmm…you know what I want?” The lanky killer snickered, his knife clinking against the concrete wall. “I want to have some fun! I have this friend, you see, who I’ve been living with. He’s no fun, and he’s been such a dick lately so I’m rebelling! You want to have fun, don’t you?” The tip of his knife travelled up to her elbow.

The fear in her spiked as she eyed the long, flat blade. “No!”

“No?” He drew back, mock-hurt. “No, you don’t want me to have fun? I thought you could get me anything. If you can’t get me fun, you’re pretty useless.”

“Oh, fuck off!” Sayu clattered her chains together, incensed. “Stop acting like a lunatic, I know there’s something you want! I’m sure you need money, living downtown in this squalor. Give me a reasonable number, and I’ll get it to you! There’s no need for these intimidation techniques, I’m cooperating!”

For a second, she was sure he was going to either slap her or lop off one of her limbs. She braced herself, her eyes squeezed shut, and felt the blade rest on the underside of her chin. But when he spoke, his voice was hushed with reluctance.

“Holy fuck, that gives me déjà vu.”

Sayu opened her eyes when the blade withdrew to see the murderer backing away, cocking his head as his eyes swept over her. “Fuck.” He said, raising his rusty knife and licking the edge. “Do all nobles look the same or do you seem familiar?” His rolling baritone roughened into a whisper.

The girl gulped as he loped closer. “Yeah, you do look familiar. _Shit_. How’d you say you got here?”

She squeaked when the murderer squatted in front of her, knees to his chest as his freakish face returned to eye level. He wore an intimidating amount of makeup, powder to whiten his face, eyeliner smudged to darken his eye bags, bright red contacts (they had to be contacts right?) gleaming from his irises. The adrenaline pumped through her, diluting all working mental processes. “I-I took the bus.”

“You took the bus.” He closed his eyes as if asking for patience. “Where did you take the bus from?”

Sayu took a deep breath. She shouldn’t tell him where she was from exactly. “I took a bus from nobleman’s county to the outskirts of uptown Tawakoshi, and then I walked here.”

“Oh fuck, that’s not good.” The man muttered, running his fingers through his shock of black hair. “This is not good. What’s your name?”

“I-I…” Sayu wondered what the right thing to do was. On one hand, not answering his question might send him into a manic frenzy, like when he’d first caught her and tied her up. On the other hand, answering that she was the daughter of Yagami Soichiro might send him into a panic that resulted in exactly the same outcome.

She bit her lip, the cut on it stinging painfully. “I’m looking for my brother. He was…he disappeared three days ago and…and he’d been to this warehouse a long time ago so I thought…” She swallowed. “I thought he might be here.”

“Well, fuck me.” The man sat back, amused. “You’re a Yagami. You’re Raito’s sister. How sweet!”

Sayu’s eyes widened. Her heart dropped down to her stomach. “H-how do you know my brother?”

The murderer cackled with laughter, his knife shining in the light.

“ _How do you know my brother?”_ She screamed. Oh, God, what if he was the kidnapper? What if he had hurt Raito, what if he had _killed_ him? _“_ How do you know him? You disgusting _maniac!”_

“I see Raito took most of the diplomacy cards from this family.” He gave her a sarcastic look, an entertained smile cutting through his white face. “You aren’t going to try to manipulate me into letting you go? Not even a little bit?”

“What did you do to him?” Her voice strained, growing higher and higher in pitch. “Tell me what you did to him!”

“Hmm.” He crouched down beside her, thoughtful. “I could use you, couldn’t I? You’re a valuable little card. Papa Soichiro likes you better, doesn’t he?”

Sayu wept. “Please, Raito hasn’t done anything wrong. Please don’t hurt him!”

“You know, you talk a lot more about your brother than he does about you.” He grinned maliciously. “You, though, I don’t even need to torture you. I just need a contact and a friend. You’re going to be very useful to me, Yagami.”

He drew his steel knife and placed the flat of the blade on Sayu’s bruised cheek, the rust making the cold metal rougher than it should be.

The murderer’s smile stretched his dry lips until they cracked, his teeth yellowed and chipped. “Until then, though, I guess we could afford to have some fun. What do you say?”

* * *

What was really annoying L was how casually Mello stood in his leather jacket with his hands tucked into his pockets.

It wasn’t in his nature to chew people out, that was more Watari’s job. But damn it Mihael Keehl was asking for it. L gave him his most intense blank glare, sipping the emergency tea his guardian had brought up for him disapprovingly.

“Watari.” He barked, turning back to his screen. “Please begin parsing a list of all the in the vicinity of the East Tawakoshi area and call them up to see if there are any eyewitnesses to anyone of BB’s description. Also, call Matt and find out if he’s made any progress bargaining with Mello’s contacts. We’ll need to move out of here at a moment’s notice.” He glanced back at the old man and snapped his fingers. “Go on. We don’t have all day.”

“Understood.” Watari bowed his head and marched off. L glimpsed over at Mello, who was successfully uncomfortable.

“Um, can’t I help?” Mello asked, hesitant. L grunted distastefully. At this moment, the second-ranked successor was lower than Mikami Teru in his hierarchy of respect.

Mello was the _cause_ of this whole fiasco. He had waited five whole hours before bothering to look for BB, five hours during which he had been in a strip club in the world-famous Tawakoshi red light district fucking a prostitute. “I’m sure Misa would like some entertainment. Go ahead and regale her with the stories of your sexual exploits this afternoon. It’s the least you could do.”

The blonde went grey. “L…for God’s sake, I didn’t lose him on purpose. Matt dropped us both off because we were fighting, I didn’t realise he had to be watched. I didn’t know he’s stopped being loyal to you or whatever. I can help look for him, I’m sure-”

“Nobody here needs the help of those who cannot be depended on.” L said shortly. “Leave the room, Mihael Keehl, we have no requirement for you.”

His sentence was punctuated by a long, drawn-out groan from Light, who was sitting beside him. L glanced at him, he was gripping his temple under his silky brown hair. “Fucking hell, L. You can’t be serious.”

Both Mello and L stared blankly as he sat up. “You are the most passive-aggressive person I’ve ever met.”

L blinked, feeling a spark of annoyance bloom behind his eyes. “Excuse me, Raito-kun, but nobody asked for your opinion-”

“It’s not his fault!” Light gestured emphatically, throwing his hands about. “If you have to blame someone, blame yourself! _You_ trusted Beyond Birthday, _you_ reap the consequences. For fuck’s sake, he’s a lunatic, how could you not expect him to take off at the first chance he gets? I don’t give a shit what pact you made with him, you trusted him and that’s your mistake.” The handcuffs jingled noisily, catching his attention. He seized the chain in his hand to quiet it. “Maybe you should’ve gotten him one of these too! What makes me so special?”

L’s face burned. “Raito-”

“Look, just let him help Watari. The guy is some seventy years old and you gave him enough work for three people.” Light gave Mello an expectant look. The blonde responded eagerly, smiling gratefully at him.

“Yeah, I can help Watari. I won’t mess up again, I swear.”

L set his pout deeper, but waved his hand. “Fine. Go.”

“Yes! Thank you, L! I won’t let you down!” He quickly scurried out of the room before L could change his mind.

The detective turned to his computer screen, throwing the chain to the other side of the armrest of his chair as he began to type in instructions to track down possible contacts BB could have run off to. Within a few seconds, he felt a gentle tug on his sleeve.

“You needed that, okay?” Light said softly, booting up his own computer. “You were being a prick to him.”

 _Prick, huh?_ L sipped his tea, his eyes glued to the white screen as it loaded up a map of Tawakoshi. “You have no business interfering in my relations with my successors, Imposter-kun.”

“Ouch.” Light’s fingers began to patter on the keyboard. “I guess you don’t want to hear my plan to track down BB, then.”

L shook his head vexedly. “I can manage just fine on my own, thank you.”

“Hey, don’t be like that. It’s a good plan. You sure you don’t want to hear it?” Light’s voice rose up teasingly. L gave him a suspicious once-over.

“Raito-kun is surprisingly chirpy.” L muttered, prompting a laugh from the teenager.

“You’re an asshole, L.” He said, pulling up a couple of webpages and downloading a large file. L gave it a cursory look. It looked like some form of decoding software. It couldn’t be any form of communication with the outside world. L’s computers were all highly secure, and he was surveying all the operations the boy did on the internet personally.

“It’s weird, though.” Light said contemplatively as he waited for his download to finish. “Talking with you about it helped a lot. I feel...better. Like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders. And that’s really weird since you’ve given me zero sympathy since I finished.”

L shrugged. “I am pleased I could help.” He plopped another sugar cube into his dwindling tea. He needed a refill. “If you don’t mind, I’ll be working now. I would mind if the distractions are limited.”

“I’m serious.” Light persisted. “And look, you can stop working, because my plan is guaranteed to be better than yours.”

L turned up his nose at him. “Perhaps I would have believed that of my Raito-kun’s plans, but yours? Hardly.”

“Now that’s just insulting.” Light rolled his chair away from the computer, leaning back and crossing his arms. “I don’t have any obligation to help you. I guess I’ll just not show you, then. You can do it your own way.”

“That’s right.” L said obstinately, pulling up a list of BB’s anarchist friends. There were…too many. BB was much more social than he appeared. But he wasn’t going to yield to Raito, especially not when he had just undermined his leadership.

It took ten minutes before L finally stopped meaninglessly looking for patterns between the contacts. Every one of them was scattered, they could be anywhere, meeting up at any point.

He glanced at Light, who was staring blankly out of the window, daydreaming, one hand supporting his head on the armrest. The evening light was turning his eyes a brilliant, molten colour, his eyelashes long and gilded as he blinked. He shut his eyes as if taking a little nap, and L wondered if he could get any more angelic. The detective indulged himself in watching him for a while before he poked him hard in the shoulder. “Raito-kun!”

The boy awoke with a start, wide-eyed. “What?”

“Tell me your plan.” He demanded, crossing his arms over his knees.

Light laughed. “You’re so fucking shameless.” He pulled himself back towards his desk. “I don’t even get an apology, do I?”

“I assumed helping you with your long-repressed trauma was gratitude enough.” The detective muttered, earning another laugh.

“Asshole.” Light clicked on his download, and the screen filled with the purple-and-gold lion’s head logo of the Shingata Police Agency, much to L’s alarm.

“What is this?” The detective asked. Had he missed this? He hadn’t seen him visit any Shingatese webpages!

Light gave him a smug smile, his chestnut fringe falling into his eyes. “Don’t worry, I only downloaded an interface.” He clicked on a couple of tabs inside the file and pulled up a black screen. “There, all you need to do is help me code this program I’ve created. It’s a little tricky, but I think the Detective L can manage it.”

“What does it entail?” L asked.

The teenager took a deep breath. “Back when I was researching BB, I found out that the reason nobody’s caught him yet is because the tracker in his neck has been fried. Your work?”

L nodded. “With the help of a defibrillator and some creativity.”

“Yeah, I thought so. That means my plan will work. So, a little-known fact about the trackers from generation 5.0, BB’s model, is that they don’t shut off completely when you fry them. They send out these faint scrambled radio-wave signals in intervals, like a weak beeping. The Agency hasn’t utilised this since it’s still only considered a bug in the design, nobody’s thought of using it to track runaway criminals. So really, all we need to do is hack into the Agency’s communications satellite, since it can pick up all the radio signals around Tawakoshi, and then we can narrow them down using your list of contacts.”

L immediately turned to his computer, transferring and opening up Light’s download. “Brilliant idea.”

“Thank you.” The brunet grinned. The detective spared him an appreciative look.

“The Shingata Police Agency is unfortunate not to have you as an asset, Yagami Raito.”

“I know.” He smirked, shrugging mock-casually. “Their loss. Your gain.”

“Most definitely our gain.” L murmured, getting busy coding the program to hack into the monitoring systems. Oh, when L found him, BB was going to get it.

There was going to be no guilt or mercy involved, he’d broken the pact one too many times. Beyond Birthday was going to get his just desserts this time, and L was going to like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see AO3 is going to have a downtime so I guess I'll just update now!
> 
> Yeah, B's being an absolute pest. I can guarantee you he gets worse, though XD
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	20. Trade

Working on this case was giving Light an intense case of nostalgia.

Not only did it remind him of all that time he spent in Mikami’s computer room researching alone while his fiancé was out, it also pushed him into the old days when he used to hack into the Agency’s records and look up puzzles to solve, revolutions to create. He had thought up this method to trace fried trackers one lazy Sunday morning when Mikami had been off on a conference and all of the servants had gone home to their families.

Loneliness had been a great motivator, back then. It had given him all of the ideas he would never have thought of on a regular basis.

Except he never put his mind into achieving any of it, had he? The Agency didn’t want him. All of his attempts at freelancing had already failed miserably. There was a lethargy in loneliness. He would never have actually tried to hack into the communications monitoring systems alone, he would never have done any of this on his own.

He gave L a fleeting glance. His bird’s nest of inky hair was hanging into his eyes, one hand was being mercilessly nibbled on as the other coded seamlessly, fixing bugs the second they registered.

It was such a pleasure to work with this man. He was so efficient, he kept up easily with Light and even surpassed him when he wasn’t paying attention. There were no wasted words, no explanations required beyond a brief hint. They thought the same way, they _synced_. Light had never met anyone who matched up with him so well.

“Have you made progress, Raito-kun?” The detective monotoned, and Light finished up his final scan.

“Almost. I’ve narrowed it down a bit, it’s going to take a minute to confirm.”

“Understood. I’ve finished my part of the code, I shall go through the contact list once more and make sure it is comprehensive.”

Light nodded, staring at the screen and waiting for the blue blips to disappear. There were millions of radio wave generators in this area of Tawakoshi, of course, but once they factored in the exact frequency that he estimated would come from a failing tracker and put in the likely places he could be, it wouldn’t be hard to find him.

As L’s code registered into the machine, the blips finally began to pop out of existence. When there were some fifty-odd dots on the screen, he cut out the unlikeliest areas, such as police stations, subway stations and other high-security places that the police would be monitoring, because BB would have been caught instantly if he had marched in there alone without L’s resources.

“L. Give me the locations of the contacts.”

The detective’s fingers clattered the keyboard, dropping the locations onto his desktop. Light superimposed them onto his map of blips, looking for a correlation.

“Raito-kun, what I figure is that BB is looking for a way to remove his neurostimulation chip. I have marked those contacts that can help him achieve this in red.”

Light nodded in acknowledgement, cutting out the blips that blinked erratically or didn’t blink at all. There were only some five dots left on the screen now, blinking like Christmas lights on the sepia-coloured Tawakoshi. The brunet squinted at the map.

Light leaned back. “There!” He pointed at the screen. “L, he’s on Kikoyako Street, it’s within spitting distance of the warehouse Mello had last seen BB in, and there’s a red contact right next to him.”

L pressed a button beside his mouse, pulling a microphone down. “Watari, prepare the van and have Matt check if the guns are loaded in his car. Follow us as we leave. Take the sniping rifle. We are headed to Kikoyako Street.” He shoved the microphone back up and hopped out of his chair.

Light sat back patiently. He supposed the detective would pull the plugs of the computers and chain him to the desk for the next few hours.

L grabbed a sugar cookie from his bowl and just kept walking, Light falling out of his chair and tripping over his feet as the detective loped out of the room, seemingly unaware that he was hauling him by the handcuff. The brunet stumbled with him, perplexed. “L. L, stop. Unlock the handcuff, you’re pulling me along.”

The detective glanced at him over his shoulder, not slowing his pace. “Yes, I am.”

Light frowned. “I’m a civilian. I’ll be dead weight. And you’ll waste time restraining me-”

“Oh, stop dithering, Raito-kun.” The raven-haired man said dismissively. “You’re hardly dead weight.”

The teenager blinked. “You want me to come with you? Why? It’s a sensitive mission.”

L rolled his eyes, but he could see a smile tug at his lips. “You can teach us the codes for the neurostimulation chip in BB’s head. You’re quite a well of knowledge, Raito. And besides, good detectives are handy to keep around. Of course I want you to come. Now shut up and focus. BB is dangerous, we cannot afford to be distracted.”

“Of course.” Light jogged to keep up with him, his cheeks flushed. _Good detective?_ He had slogged every day for years just to hear his father call him that, he had snuck out of his fiancé’s protection for it. He had given up on it for months and months, he had abandoned it for mediocrity and the position as a second-class citizen.

It struck him like an epiphany.

_He never had to go back._

He could spend his days working like this. Helping L was more than just something to do, it was engaging, challenging, it was _fun_. It was the best time of his life, it was better than anything he had ever done. And if he just gave up on escape, he could do it every day. He could join these people, help them with their anarchist plans. He could stay with L, maybe get a shot at actual happiness.

He could stay with L…

The crisp cold night air brought a sudden shock of reality with it, all of his thoughts dissipating. Light sprinted with L towards the car Matt had parked in front of the door, Mello already sitting shotgun with his elbow stuck out of the window. L wrenched the door open for him, gesturing for him to hurry up and enter.

_What had he been thinking? What was he thinking?_

Why wasn’t he finding anything wrong with it?

_Joining the anarchists? It was against the law! He could face jail time, he could be disgraced, bring shame to his family. How was he even considering this?_

The inside of the car was warm, a sharp objecting wedging into Light’s side as he slid into the backseat. He drew it out to find that it was a handgun, gleaming dully in the moonlight.

“You uncomfortable with that, Light?” Mello was giving him a dry look from the rear view mirror, but none of them were trying to take it away from him. Were they stupid? What guarantee did they have that he wouldn’t just shoot them all down and escape?

“I’m fine, Mello, thanks.” He whispered, placing it on his lap as Matt started the car and smashed the accelerator.

“Aim and fire. Nothing to be nervous about.” The blonde smirked toothily, turning his ice blue gaze back to the road. Matt was supremely unconcerned with his situation, orange goggles over his green eyes and sweat beading on his brow. L, though. L was giving him an ambiguous expression, but when he turned to meet his eyes, the expression turned softer, more amused.

“Don’t try anything, Raito, I can disarm you in an instant.” He smiled, propping his feet up onto the seat in his usual contorted posture. “But you should keep it. BB is unpredictable, I would rather you be able to protect yourself.”

Light looked down at the weapon in his hands.

They weren’t stupid. They trusted him because he was a part of the team. They considered him one of them.

This was his out. He could stay here forever, he could stay with L and escape his life. He had always thought he would have a bigger future than just being Mikami’s mate, and this was his way. This was his shot.

_He never had to leave._

He gripped the gun in his hand, index finger so gently over the trigger as if he knew the exact pressure he needed to make it fire. He had to follow his instincts, he had to stay.

He looked up at L and returned his smile.

* * *

The first sign that things were not going according to plan was when BB started to linger around the picture window, standing just behind the drapes as if he was playing hide-and-seek.

“B! Come sit here, we have liquor! You need to relax, man!” The slick-haired blonde who called himself Aiber sat back on his plush plum-coloured couch, raising his wineglass in a toast. “It’ll help pass the time!”

BB barely even acknowledged him, his crimson eyes trained on something on the roadside. Sayu had no way of guessing what he was looking at, she was too far away from him to even have an idea.

She sighed, slumping in her chains as Wedy, a prim and proper woman dressed in a pinstripe suit with her hair gelled to perfection and eyes covered by sunglasses, pushed up her chin again, her phone pushed into her face. “Got to get a good angle, eh?” She remarked, snapping yet another photograph. Sayu shut her eyes, letting out a ragged breath.

The woman drew away, taking the sharp scent of oceanic perfume with her. She wore a dissatisfied grimace, scrolling through the pictures she had taken so far. “How is Hiyama going to recognise her in this condition? Did you _have_ to give her a black eye, B?”

When B didn’t answer, Aiber took it upon himself to think up a solution. He grinned drunkenly, raising his glass and sloshing red wine onto himself. “The answer is always liquor!”

Wedy sighed, placing an elegant hand on her forehead. “I suppose if I photoshop some of the bruises out, she’ll be recognisable enough.” She smirked. “Besides, it’s a mate family, Yagami. Makes her ten times more desirable, Hiyama will forgive a few little mishaps.” She gave Sayu a once-over behind her sunglasses. The girl bit her swollen lip and looked away, feeling violated.

“Hmm. You know, B, if you wanted some standing cash, you’d have given her to a brothel for a day. They wouldn’t want to associate with nobles for too long, but a day with a Yagami would have given you enough to buy a ticket to China.” The woman tucked her phone into her pocket. “If you hadn’t beat her up, obviously.”

“Really, you’re criticising him for beating up little girls? Do you even remember who you’re talking to?” Aiber snickered, taking a long sip of his drink. “B, sit down. What are you even looking at? It’s all traffic.”

B suddenly whirled around, loping towards Wedy. He looked absolutely frightening, his kohl running down his cheeks like black tears. “Give me your phone. I need Hiyama now.”

“Now?” The woman drawled, tossing her long blond hair over her shoulder. “What do you mean, now? He’s got to finish checking the background of the noble girl before you trade her for your surgery. You’re lucky he isn’t asking you to collect her ransom yourself. Why are you in such a hurry?”

The murderer groaned, raking his hands through his thick hair. “Look, L’s going to be looking for me. I can’t switch hiding spots so easily. I need Hiyama to house me for a couple of days, maybe-”

“He won’t agree.” Wedy cut through bluntly. She rolled her eyes and went back to fiddling with her flip-phone. “It’s already charitable of him to agree to meet you and hear you out, considering who you are. He likes your deal, but he doesn’t like it that much.”

“Well, you can ask, can’t you?” B snarled, his voice dipping to a malevolent whisper. Sayu cringed, the bruises on her ribs stinging involuntarily.

Wedy, though, was not impressed. “No. And if you threaten me, B, I’ll make sure Hiyama never hears your name again. You need me a lot more than I need you.”

Surprisingly, rather that pitch a tantrum or claw her face off as Sayu had expected, B yielded. “Okay. But make it as fast as you can. L knows who you are, he may as well track me to you in a couple days.”

“Hiyama won’t be rushed, but I’ll see what I can do.” Wedy complied, her heels clacking against the floor as she disappeared into the kitchen.

BB growled in frustration, stalking back to the window. “B! Come on, dude! Relax, have some liquor!” Aiber called, but he was cruelly ignored by everyone except Sayu, who was watching him with some concern. So far, she had seen him consume a total of three bottles.

She had seen her father drink three bottles once when she was about seven.

Aiber, who wore a burgundy bathrobe and nothing underneath, sighed, running his fingers through his oily yellow hair and downing another glass. He yawned deeply, and his clouded blue eyes fixed on Sayu.

“Yagami! You look like you want a drink!” The hefty man hopped up off his chair and sauntered over to her. “You’ve been through a lot, eh? You want some of this?” His steps were unsteady, his breath laced with alcohol. Sayu leaned away from him, her wrists straining on the armrests of the chair she was chained to. Oh God, he smelled like her father from that day, and there was no Raito here to protect her this time. _Oh God, oh God, oh God._

“Come on, relax, girl! Chill! We aren’t hurting you, are we? I’m offering you liquor!” The blonde slurred, the knot of his bathrobe coming undone. She squeezed her eyes shut, her hands gripped into fists, pretending she was exorcising a demon.

That was what Raito had pretended, back then, when they had waited in that room for their father to stop rampaging through the halls. He had huddled bedsheets over them both, pressing his palms together as he chanted pretend-exorcism charms, then opened his sparkling amber eyes to tell her to repeat them after him. She knew now that he had only just watched an A-rated movie that weekend and was pretending to be one of the characters, but to seven-year-old Sayu he had been magical, all-knowing. He had made all the fear disappear, just like that.

She couldn’t remember any of the charms for the life of her, but she remembered what he’d whispered to her after she’d finished repeating the last line. _It’ll be over soon, you just have to wait._

“Aiber.” B snapped, breaking the spell. “Aiber, come over here, you bloody drunkard.”

Sayu opened her eyes to see the blond man stagger over to the murderer, who was pointing at something outside the window. “Do you see that?”

The drunkard shrugged. _“What?_ It’s a big grey van. There are a lot of those in Shingata. Big deal.”

“You’re such a fucking useless drunk! Fuck off!” The killer raged, stomping off towards the kitchen. “Wedy! Wedy, give me your phone!”

Mildly distressed, the hefty man squinted out at whatever BB had been obsessing over.

“Huh. It sure does look a lot like L’s van, doesn’t it?”

There was a clattering from inside the kitchen, and Wedy’s shrill voice rang out. “No, get away from me, you freak! Don’t you manhandle me- _hey! Give that back!”_

Sayu watched with wide eyes as BB stomped out of the room with Wedy’s silver flip-phone clutched in his hand. He hunted about the room frantically. “Where is my knife?” He wailed, searching through the bedside drawers right next to Sayu. “Where did you keep my fucking knife, Wedy?”

“I’ll tell you when you give my phone back!” Wedy clicked out of the kitchen indignantly, ruffled, her hair more than a little in disarray. BB roared with frustration.

“I don’t have the time for this! I need to get out of here!”

Aiber clucked his tongue. “Ah, shame. You’ll never get out fast enough. L’s here in person, and he’s wearing a bulletproof vest.” The blonde chuckled. “He has a kid handcuffed to him, it’s a cute way to transport people.”

“Fuck! He’ll kill me!” BB threw the phone in Wedy’s direction. “Just tell me how to get out of here!”

“Backdoor.” Wedy pointed her thumb as the murderer ran towards Sayu.

“Got to transport the fucking Yagami brat, goddamn it.” He muttered under his breath, a bead of sweat sliding down from his hairline to the tip of his nose. He unlocked her chains and threw her over his shoulder. “Fuck. Fuck!” He cursed as he sprinted towards the exit, just as there was an heavy slam on the front door.

“Kick it harder, Keehl!” Sayu heard a man’s voice from outside, muffled by the door, and BB paled distinctly, quickening his pace.

Sayu’s hands were free now. They hadn’t been free since she was caught by the murderer in the first place. She wouldn’t get this chance again. If he sold her off to the man who wanted the ransom, who knew if she could ever get out alive?

With an almighty cry, Sayu threw herself to the side, kicking and screaming, her nails digging into B’s shoulder as she put all of her weight into slipping away from him. The murderer cried out, shocked. “What the fuck are you doing? Stay still! I don’t have time for this!”

“He’s _here!”_ Sayu shrieked to whoever was breaking in. “Help! B’s here! Help me! B’s trying to escape!”

“Shut up!” The murderer hissed, but before he could do anything, the front door banged open and several people flooded inside. B froze in shock, then hurled Sayu to the ground with all his strength and raced out of the room, the backdoor clattering against the frame as he ran for his life.

Sayu hit her head to the floor. She lay where she fell, dazed and seeing stars as heavy boots stomped in front of her and ran out in pursuit of her tormentor. “Mells! This way! I saw him go!” Another pair of black leather boots with pointed toes ran after the first man. _“Four-five-one-two-zero-eight!_ Fuck, he’s out of range!”

She heard Aiber try to drunkenly schmooze his way out of his situation somewhere far in the background. “He just escaped, slipped out of the window before you came in. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop him, you know how he is, haha.”

She heard Wedy’s grating screech. “He wanted to steal my phone! It’s not my fault! What’re you looking at me for, do you think I’d associate with people like your successors?”

And finally, a pair of worn tennis shoes that shuffled until they were right in front of her nose, blue jeans appearing as the person squatted down in front of her, a striking face coming into view. Pale, with dark circles that looked painted on and bushy black hair that fell into his eyes. _B._

B, but with kindly eyes, eyes the colour of pools of ink. “Who are you?” A long finger touched the man’s lip, rubbing along it thoughtfully. “Has BB tried to murder you?”

Sayu let out a nervous titter. “Y-yeah. My n-name is-”

 _“Sayu.”_ A quiet whisper from a place to her left, barely heard, the rustle of autumn leaves, a silky, familiar voice.

And then there were arms around her, strong, warm arms, and BB’s doppelganger had been replaced by a shock of rust-brown hair and sparkling amber eyes in a tanned face that felt like coming home.

“Sayu… _how?_ How are you here?” The silky voice demanded, echoing in her head. Sayu didn’t want to think, she didn’t want to focus on the details. She just wanted to curl up in these arms and forget anything had ever changed. _The last time Raito had held her had been three years ago, the day she graduated middle school._

“You’re …you’re hurt.” He whispered, his words sinking into her skin. “I-I’ll get him for this, I swear-”

“Onii-chan.” She whispered softly. He immediately fell silent, tightening his embrace. “Onii-chan, you’re safe.”

The brunet fixed her with his intense gaze. “Yeah, but you…how did he get you? Did he kidnap you? What has he done to you? Where was he taking you?”

The girl ignored his interrogation, _so typical of Raito_ , and let out a happy little sigh. “See, Onii-chan, I can be a detective too.”

“What?” He asked, puzzled. She giggled softly, feeling her head grow heavy.

“I found you.” She breathed, closing her eyes. “I f-found you, I knew I would. Next time, c-could you tell me before you leave? Okaa-san is a-always so worried...”

“Oh God, she’s delirious.” He said, and the arms curled under her and hefted her up into the air in a bridal carry. “Ryuuzaki, she’s delirious, what do we do? Where do I take her?”

“Watari.” A baritone hummed.

“I-I want to be a detective too, Onii-chan.” The girl whispered into his collarbone, feeling the exhaustion catch up to her. She had spent so much time avoiding sleep, her wounds were leaching her energy. “I want to be a detective so I can be like you.”

“Quiet, Sayu.” The boy admonished. _It was just like him to scold her when she was brutally injured_. She had missed this so much.

Sayu let herself drift away, her arms tight around her brother’s neck as he carried her away out of the flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhh I almost forgot to upload today XD swamped in assignments! 
> 
> Anyway, I loved writing this one, Sayu's actually a lot more like me in real life than I'd intended XD
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	21. Infirmary

“Raito-kun, it’s okay to take a break for a minute, you know. This isn’t good for you.”

L was hovering. He  _ despised _ hovering. When he had first been training his successors, Watari had expected him to watch their every move and make sure it was all up to the mark. L had shirked his duties from day one, preferring to monitor their test results occasionally over the computer, and even that only to see if there was a clear victor between his two top candidates.

In this situation, though, it was necessary. It seemed that finding his sister in BB’s custody had sent Raito into an obsessive spiral, he hadn’t slept or ate in ages. All he had done for the past seven hours was sit in front of the computer screen and  _ work _ . Even L himself didn’t see any point in working any longer. The interviews with Wedy and Aiber had been sickeningly lacking in information, as he had expected any interview relating to B to go. He picked his successors well, BB was a genius, he was just a lunatic too.

“Raito-kun…” L hated how motherly his voice sounded, but the first orange lights of dawn were peeking at the horizon. “Listen. I have the endurance to work at a stretch like this but you don’t. You need rest. You’ll have a nervous breakdown.”

“I won’t have a nervous breakdown.” Raito dismissed, not moving his eyes from the screen for an instant. “I don’t know how long it’ll take, and frankly I don’t care, I need to finish this. I can’t let him escape. Chain me to the desk if you want, you’ve already disabled the communications websites on this computer. Or send someone else to watch me, I’m sure Matt won’t mind.”

L was getting irritated with that self-righteous tone. “I don’t have a problem watching you, Raito. I told you, I have the endurance. I have a problem with…you’re not going to  _ get _ anywhere with this. Even if BB hasn’t figured out the trick already, it’s impossible to track him down using the tracer now. He will not approach his contacts again so we cannot narrow down the locations, and we don’t have the personnel to check every single possibility in East Tawakoshi, if he is even still  _ in _ East Tawakoshi.”

Light hooded his eyes tiredly, not moving his eyes from the sepia map of Shingata. “Well, then I’ll think of something else.”

“Do you really think you’re in the condition to think of something else? Look at you, you’re exhausted.” L ruffled the boy’s auburn hair fondly. “Come on, take a break.”

“I can’t take a break, L!” The brunet spun towards him. His words sounded rehearsed, as if he had been chanting this speech in his head for a while now. “He’s targeting my family! He kidnapped Sayu, he hurt her all because I provoked him, because I made the stupid decision to use the neurostimulation chip in his brain. I can’t rest, it’s all my fault! What if he targets my mother next, or my father? What if he finishes the job on Mikami? How do I have the right to rest when my family is in danger because of me  _ again?” _

L pondered on how to approach this one. “I don’t think you’re right.” Light let out a disbelieving sniff, which made the detective speak more earnestly. “You have no idea how hard it is to sneak into the nobleman’s county. I would know. BB is not capable of doing it alone.” He chewed his cuticle thoughtfully. “This is my theory. Your sister kept talking about playing detective and looking for you. I believe she left nobleman’s county on her own and BB caught her on the way. In that case, it would not be your fault, it would be his. Not that it would be your fault in any case, but for the sake of argument.”

The teenager pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes. “Ryuuzaki.” He said finally without looking up. “You don’t have to reassure me. I’m fine, I promise. I’ll take a break when I’ve made some headway.”

L wished for a doughnut, but he had eaten the last of it on his seven-hour vigil over Light. “I have been solving crimes for more than a decade. I know when someone is  _ not _ going to make any headway. We used up our chance on B, and unfortunately, he managed to slip through our fingers. We need to wait for the right opportunity, we can’t rush things.” He popped a finger into his mouth and held it up in the air as if making a great point. “Good things,” he said in English, “come to those who wait.”

Light was giving him a determinedly deadpan look, though L could see it was taking some effort to maintain. “Even if my family isn’t the one in danger, somebody is going to die with Beyond Birthday on the loose. Don’t you care about that at all?”

The raven-haired man raised his eyebrows amusedly. “I do care, Raito, and I shall do my very best to find him. However, I can only do as much as I can with the resources I have. BB will turn up eventually, he isn’t the kind to go unnoticed.”

“He’s going to be noticed when he kills someone.” Light pointed out. L nodded.

“Precisely.” He bit off the edge of his fingernail. “Your staunch moral compass is admirable, but I will follow the best and easiest method to find him. We have other things to do, Raito, things that can be progressed on, like Near’s case. Put this one on hold for a while.”

The teenager considered it. “But if he targets my family-”

“We have established that he won’t, love. You think your family is going to be sparsely guarded now that someone kidnapped you from your own home? Your father will have police forces stationed around the premises at all times.”

The brunet fixed him with bloodshot eyes, scrutinising his expression thoroughly before deflating with a sigh. “Alright, but on one condition. The minute we get a clue, we resume the search. Okay?”

L tried to hide his smile. “Okay. Now come, I’ll take you to bed.”

“No.” Light bit his lip. “I’d like some breakfast first, I’m starving. Maybe a coffee.” He pushed off of his chair and staggered, L coming up to support him by the arm. “Sorry. I’m a little unsteady.”

“It’s expected. You aren’t capable of working this way, you’ll only burn out.” L stated all-knowingly, keeping his hand on the small of the boy’s back as they emerged into the corridor of the orphanage.

The first sounds that greeted them was the cackling of children. L jittered apprehensively as he noticed a sleepy, nightgown-draped Roger on the other side of the hallway, stooped with age and exhaustion as he hobbled into the next room to give them a wakeup call.

“Oh, no. No cafeteria for you today, it’s breakfast time for the orphans and I will not have another fiasco relating to the children. Once was enough, a second time may make Watari blow a blood vessel.”

“Oh.” Light breathed, hugging his elbows. He had shadows under his eyes, his hair hanging down into them. “Whatever. Is there any way, um, that I can sit with Sayu? She won’t be awake right now, I’m sure, but I think I should see her anyway. Just to make sure, you know?”

L tilted his head forward. “That’s fine, Raito-kun, she’s in the infirmary. You can even take a nap near her, there are three or so empty beds there as of now.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” Light pressed his temple and gave the detective a rueful smile. “Sorry, you’ll have to sit in an infirmary for the next few hours.”

“Don’t worry about me, Raito.” L led him down the corridor, taking a turn into the nurse’s office. “I’m quite adept at entertaining myself.”

“I’m sure.” The teenager quipped as they entered the cramped room with four twin beds lined against the same wall. Light’s eyes scanned over the huddled form of his sister on the leftmost cot.

“Yeah, she’s asleep.” He acknowledged before falling in a heap onto his front on the closest mattress.

L observed him, fascinated, until he raised his head by a centimetre from the pillow and spoke, his breath shifting the bangs covering his face. “There’s a coffeemaker on that counter.”

The detective glimpsed behind him. “So there is.” He remarked. The brunet slipped off his shoes and curled up onto the bed, his eyes drooping closed.

“Get me coffee.”

L couldn’t quite hold in his laugh. “Ordering me around, eh?”

“Yes.” His words were muffled with sleep. “Get coffee.”

“Alright, Raito-kun.” The black-haired man conceded, sauntering over towards the counter. He had only just plugged in the coffeemaker when he heard Light whine into his pillow.

_ “Handcuff _ .” L glanced over to see that the boy’s wrist was being pulled up by the tautness of the chain, his wrist limp and cut with imprints. “Ugh, L. Take it  _ off.” _

“Alright, alright.” He said, unlocking it from his own wrist and throwing it on the bed. He was about to make a witty remark, but swallowed all his words when he heard Light make the sweetest sound of contentment, snuggling into his pillow with his knees pulled up.

“Thanks, Ryuuzaki.” He mumbled to himself. L wanted more than anything to hug him, so he busied himself in making a coffee with the cheap, ancient coffeemaker Roger had procured solely for Naomi Misora since that was her only condition and they had to have at least one competent individual teaching this school. Never mind that she was an ex-FBI agent, not a teacher.

“Uh, Ryuu, listen.” Light said. L glanced at him over his shoulder, seeing him pull the bedsheets over himself. “About the Near thing.”

“Yes, Raito-kun?”

He swallowed. “When Sayu wakes up, you can ask her about it. Near’s a convicted anarchist with links to Beyond Birthday, he’d be a definite case study. Show her a picture of him or something.”

L nodded. “I was already planning to interrogate her, but thank you, Raito-kun.” He smiled. “It means a lot that you are trying to help.”

“That’s okay.” Light murmured into his pillow. “Just don’t tell her you’re an anarchist. She’s not as open-minded as I am.”

“I know. I won’t, love.” He poured the finished coffee into one of Misora’s paper cups sitting in a stack. He turned around and stopped, chuckling to himself. Raito was fast asleep, snoring softly with his leg dangling from the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I've been in writer's block for the past few days :( oh well, here you have a new chapter! And I've written the one after this too so hopefully I'll remember to post that as well XD
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	22. Nightmare

Light’s nose twitched at the smell of perfume.

The world was dark, and he was pretty sure this wasn’t a dream, because his dreams weren’t like this. His dreams were sunshine and rainbows, fancy pink ribbons, they weren’t the coldness of a marble floor, the ache of his back in an awkward position, something itchy around his neck. Light lifted his hand, noticing through the darkness that the usually healed scars at the base of his palm were torn brutally open, as they had been when he had still had that habit, blood streaking down his wrist and onto the floor.

Grimacing in distaste, he touched his neck, going to probe the itchy area and freezing when he came across firm leather. His eyes widened when he realised what it was. A thick leather band was encircling his neck, a chain taut on the back of it, leading down to where it was bolted to the floor, keeping him forced on his knees.

He gulped, his fingers compulsively trying to slip under it and failing. Adrenaline shot through his veins. _Where was he? Why did this place look so familiar? What was he doing here? Who could have done this to him?_

The air smelled like sickly sweet perfume, the kind one would use to mask an ugly stench. His fingers curled into the collar, trying to rip it from himself, his nails raking against the skin of his throat. He tried to get up, but the chain bolting him to the floor was too short, only allowing him enough slack to crouch.

He looked around. It was too dark to see any details but he could see some polished shelves to his right. A closed door ahead of him let in a sliver of light from the gap underneath and a mahogany chest was pushed against the wall to his left, padlocked, his subconscious sending him pricks of unease the minute it caught his attention.

He opened his mouth, intending to perhaps call for help, _something_ , but when his lips moved it was out of his control. “Mikami?” He said in a warbling voice, sounding on the verge of tears. Humiliation spiked through him seemingly without a reason, making Light feel all the more puzzled.

Why was he calling for Mikami? Was he losing his mind? If Mikami was anywhere around here, he would free him in an instant, wouldn’t he? He loved him, Light knew that, he would do anything for him.

Right?

A floorboard creaked, a floorboard that didn’t exist in this marbled room. Light whipped his head around, looking for the source of the sound, and saw L slumping towards him, shirtless, wearing his usual pair of scuffed blue jeans under his scrawny pale torso. Light’s eyes widened in alarm.

 _Ryuuzaki did this to him?_ The thought felt ridiculous to his mind. Ryuuzaki wouldn’t do this. He wouldn’t keep him like this. BB would, but this wasn’t BB, this was L, L with his coal-black eyes and tentative smile, his spiky black hair mussed as if he had just gotten out of bed.

He was holding two china bowls in his hands, lumped full with ice-cream with two silver spoons sticking out of them. One was multicoloured, strawberry, pistachio and mango all bursting out, and the other was creamy vanilla, Light’s favourite.

L approached him with the bowls, then pursed his lips, giving him a reluctant shrug and sitting down at the edge of the bed. His legs folded up into his usual posture, and he extended the vanilla bowl in his direction without meeting his eyes.

Light blinked. When had the bed come into the picture? He looked around, saw that the setting had changed completely.

He wasn’t in a cold marble room anymore, he was in a bedroom, sitting in bed with the blankets thrown over his knees. He was naked, covered in a sheen of sweat that was quickly cooling in the night air. Moonlight streamed in from the windows, painting the walls and the man in his bedroom pale as ivory.

“I thought perhaps this would make it easier to talk.” The man said quietly, keeping his eyes trained on his own dessert. Light felt his lips curl into a small smile as he took it from him, the bowl frigid against his warm fingers.

“Don’t even try, Lawliet. You’re just hungry.” The words spilled from his mouth without his consent, thoughts popping in unprompted, disorienting him. L laughed, a merry sound he had never heard before from him. It sounded so much freer than it usually did, as if this was the real L, the one with no inhibitions.

“Well, perhaps that too. The sex was quite energy-consuming.”

Light snorted. “As it tends to be.” He looked down at his ice-cream. “I’m…sorry. This is really shitty pillow talk. I’m ruining the mood, aren’t I?”

L slipped under the blankets, curling up close to the brunet and running a hand through his auburn hair while the other one picked up the spoon to dig into his dessert. “It amazes me that you think telling a detective more about yourself would ruin the mood. I’m only glad you trust me enough to be able to talk about this. I…” He grinned bashfully, sticking his spoon into his mouth. “I love you, Raito-kun.”

Light felt his face grow hot, he quickly spooned a chunk of vanilla ice-cream, the sweetness cooling his tongue. “Really, L? _You’re_ ruining the mood now. Why on Earth would I want to keep talking about Mikami after you say something like that?”

“If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t need to. I love you, Raito-kun, I’ll give you as much space as you need.” He grinned, snuggling into him. “I love you.”

“Stop that.” Light laughed. “You’re such a child. Look at you, eating ice-cream in bed.”

“You’re doing it too.” L pointed out, leaning over to give the brunet a peck on the cheek. “Do you wish to continue?”

Light sighed. “Yeah, I’ll…finish this. I need to let it out.”

“In that case…” L carved out a large spoonful of the strawberry side of his bowl and held it towards the teenager’s mouth. “I’m telling you, it helps. I have a lot of terrible memories too.”

The brunet chuckled. “Yeah? Then it’s your turn tomorrow night.” He caved and ate the pink ice-cream, letting it melt in his mouth and run down his throat.

“So, well.” He started, the bowl leaching the heat from his body. “He left me like that for hours. It sounds like it’s a bit too extreme a punishment for spilling soup, but I know where he’d learnt it. My mother…when she was prepping me to meet my suitors for the first time, she told me what my father had done to her after their courtship. The mates are supposed to be disciplined. They’re, _we’re_ , supposed to be cherished and supported and whatnot, but at the same time, we’re supposed to be punished. It’s a given, especially after the families have settled on a match.”

“My father would be…very brutal with her. Mikami wasn’t like that, he wanted things to be a bit more refined. He didn’t want to hit me, he prided himself on being detached and superior to other people.” Light scoffed. “To him, mates are the noblemen’s way of apologising to the masses for their upper-class status. He thinks he’s allowed to treat me any which way he wants. So he thought, why not make the punishments productive? Why beat a mate when you can use them?” Light paused. “He liked being the dominant one, I’d think it has something to do with his raging inferiority complex.”

L patted his hand comfortingly, feeding him a vanilla mouthful. Light nodded absently.

“Yeah, so he took me to the room he didn’t allow the servants in, bolted the collar to the ground right in front of me and made me get on my knees in front of him so that he could fasten it on. He left me like that for hours, but really, I’d rather have stayed that way the entire night than have him come back.”

The surroundings blinked back to the marble room, his back aching again and his neck squeezed by the leather collar.

“But he did come back, and he gloated. He ate in front of me. He made me beg for dinner.”

He was ripped out of the warm bedroom, thrown into his prison once more, but this time the door was edged open, light pouring inside and filling the room with shadows. There was the silhouette of a man standing there, a man who was sneering, laughing, taunting him.

“And then, well. Then he assaulted me, and he left me there overnight because I’d struggled too much and ruined it for him. I made him feel bad, that’s what I did. I made him feel like what he was doing to me was wrong, that’s why he was punishing me. He couldn’t stand to feel like he was a terrible person, so he excused it by making me out to be a disobedient mate who needed the discipline as much as my father said I did. I couldn’t become my mother, Lawliet, I couldn’t be imprisoned with no way out for the rest of my life. I’d rather die than survive that way.”

“And so you ran away.” L’s voice was soothing against his panic, but the scene wasn’t changing. He wasn’t returning to that warm room with the bowls of ice-cream, he was staying here with his sore knees and his stiff back, leaning away from the silhouette man who had to be Mikami as he pressed in closer, the place where his mouth should be hovering around the brunet with his intentions clear.

Light couldn’t see the silhouette’s face. He blurred as he moved, he was a formless shape. There was nothing where the face should have been. He was missing, torn out of the memory, leaving only a shell in his place. The man slowly reached out towards him, caressing his face in a gesture so tender it was plain mockery.

Light’s mouth finally opened, finally protesting the other man’s actions, but the words weren’t what he wanted to say. “Mikami, please, I swear I won’t do it again. I’m _sorry_ , what more do you want from me?” Tear-choked sobs burst from inside him. “Please let me go, I’m sorry!”

“You’re not apologising right.” It was Mikami’s voice, a sneer twisting it to something ugly. “You’re not apologising like you mean it, Raito.”

“I’m sorry, I’m _sorry_ , I won’t-” His cries were swallowed by lips that were too familiar to stand, lips that had kissed him on the forehead every night before they went to bed, lips that had told him he adored him.

Dr. Mikami Teru. His fiancé, the man who looked at everyone with disdain but him. The man who he had thought would do anything for him.

The lips pressed against his, and Light screamed.

* * *

He only realised he was awake when he heard the laughter.

Sayu’s laughter was distinct, like a soda bottle fizzing open, an endless stream of dissipating giggles. He remembered it from when she was a kid, she would just keep laughing all the time, running around the house like a maniac, messing up everything in his room so he’d have to clean it up.

There was a sense of nostalgia in that. They had grown apart ever since he had gotten engaged to Mikami-

Light flinched. No, he couldn’t think about Mikami right now, not when the memory of that dream was so fresh in his mind. Maybe later, when it faded, but not now. But was it going to fade? It hadn’t felt like a dream.

It really hadn’t felt like a dream, had it?

Light _knew_ what this was, he had studied it when he was studying neurostimulation and criminal neurosurgery. There had been an entire chapter on reminiscents in his textbook, nerves binding back together after a surgery. Despite the great Shingatese progress in the field of neuron manipulation, there were still so many concepts they didn’t understand, and reminiscents were one of them.

Erasing memories was still an experimental treatment, used only on criminals with specific trauma that spurred their actions, so it wasn’t always entirely foolproof. There were bugs, like how when they were put under a lot of stress, the subjects got reminiscents. Flashbacks, memories returning suddenly and clearly without explanation. It was usually harmless since the criminals were usually kept under constant supervision and were promptly gaslighted once the phenomenon was identified.

Mikami, the marble room, the ice-cream, none of it had been a dream.

_L had been telling the truth the entire time._

Light hit the ground running, unable to notice anything around him as he sprinted out of the infirmary, following his instincts to get to the bathroom from last night. He banged the door open, vomiting the meagre contents of his stomach into the sink.

_They had been telling the truth, Mikami had been lying, he’d been lying to him this entire time._

The brunet retched until there was nothing left in his system but bile. He stared down at his puke and detachedly turned on the tap, water washing it all away.

His memories, he had reminiscents, everything he remembered about his past could be wrong. He didn’t know what they changed. If they had erased L from him, what else could be gone?

Light looked at himself in the mirror, at his sallow face, his dishevelled hair, his too-wide, haunted eyes. With shaking hands, he tilted his head forward, parting the hair covering the crown of his head until he found the scar, the stretched pink skin that curved, sickle-shaped, all the way down to the point right above his ear. It was easy to cover up with his thick hair, he could just pretend it didn’t exist.

He ran a finger down it, feeling the smoothness in the middle, the rough edges, the unbroken road that had been taken from him. His fingers shook uncontrollably and he held the rim of the sink, his knuckles white. He braced himself over it, staring at himself in the eye until he couldn’t bear it anymore.

He had been played with for so long, for _months_. He had been made a fool of. He had forgiven every one of Mikami’s flaws because of imaginary nonsense.

He had forgotten L. He had forgotten the man in the dream, the one who had listened to his story, brought him ice-cream, who had come to rescue him, risking everything and everyone under his care. He had forgotten Lawliet.

There was a tentative knock on the door, and Light knew who it was without having to look.

“Are you sick, Raito?” A soft baritone came from the doorway. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have let you lie in the infirmary. The infectiousness of children cannot be understated.”

He couldn’t face him. He had put him through so much, he had forgotten, _he had been made a fool of._

“Your sister is awake. We have quite a banter between us.” A halting chuckle. “She isn’t as suspicious as you, she thinks I’m a good Samaritan who saved you from Mikami. It’s a good thing I had made that call to her from our previous headquarters, I could get a picture of how much she despises him.” L’s hand encircled his waist, and his voice grew more concerned. “Raito-kun, you look ill. Are you okay?”

That was the same voice from the dream. He was using it the same way. This man _cared_ about him, he cared about him though he wasn’t even the same person anymore.

And Light _wasn’t_ the same person anymore, he never could be again. Even if he got the most number of reminiscents anybody had ever gotten, he would never have all of his memories back. L would never have his lover back, Sayu her brother, his mother her son. He would never be Yagami Raito, never again.

“Raito.” The concern in the voice had melted away to annoyance. “Raito, stop that. What are you doing?” Cold fingers had wrapped around his hand, blocking his sore palm from ravage from his nails. “Are you in pain? Do you want to lie down?”

“Let go.” Light snapped shortly, yanking his hand from the other man’s grasp. He wasn’t the one this man loved, he wasn’t even close. Lawliet didn’t care about him, the one he had cared about was dead.

The thought of it hurt like nothing else. He would never be loved by the man in his dream.

_Had L grown on him? How had he allowed that? How had he allowed any of this?_

“I must insist you come with me now, Raito-kun. You don’t appear to be yourself at the moment.” L said, and the minute it registered what he’d just said, the brunet burst into laughter. It cackled out of him like it was clawing to get free of his throat, he doubled over, his hands clutching his stomach. He laughed and laughed, the world turning blurry and strange, his cheeks growing wetter by the second.

“Raito, snap out of it!” The other man yelled, and something threw his head to the side, cutting his hysteria short. The teenager blinked, looking up at the black-haired man.

“D-did you just slap me?” He asked, taken aback. L pursed his lips, placing a cool palm on Light’s forehead.

“You don’t appear to be feverish. How do you feel?” When he failed to reply, L closed his eyes as if asking for patience from the heavens. “Headache? Nausea? Discomfort?”

An ironical smile twisted Light’s lips. “Yeah, I think headache’s the way to go.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at the joke. L cocked his head quizzically.

“You seem to be hysterical. I’d like you to lie down and tell me what’s wrong.”

The brunet finally broke and looked him in the eye. Black as tar, set in the palest face he knew. He was striking, attractive. He made his heart beat a little faster. Light knew now that he hadn’t just grown on him. Maybe this was another reminiscent, maybe all of this was an echo from the person he used to be. Or maybe he truly did like him this much.

It wasn’t surprising. L was determined, strong, intoxicatingly brilliant. And more than that, better than that, Light found himself being himself around him. He could _trust_ L, despite everything. He could understand him, and there were so few people he could actually understand on instinct.

But whatever it was, it was useless because L would never love him as much as he loved the person he used to be, and Light refused to let his pride fall any further.

With a shake of his head, it was all buried and gone. All his feelings, everything. There was a void in its space, but he was used to voids. Everything had been one for as long as he remembered. The holes in his memories, the affections he was supposed to have for the people around him, the very idea of himself. He was a mate, and ever since he had been declared one he had been a void.

“I’m sorry.” Light said pleasantly, sauntering over to the sink and splashing his face with water. He gave L an apologetic smile as he wiped off. “I had a nightmare and it affected me a bit. I guess I’m letting the stress get to me.”

“Raito-kun…” L raised his eyebrows suspiciously.

“I’m sorry, I realise I was a bit…unhinged. In my defence, it was a really bad nightmare.” Light forced a chuckle, changing the topic smoothly. “You said you have banter with my sister? Did you find out something new about Near? I think I should go say hi.”

L’s brows furrowed. “Raito-kun, wait-”

“Oh, right, the handcuff.” The teenager grinned emptily, pulling up the chain of the cuff that had dragged behind him on the floor. He dusted it off and offered it to the detective. “Here you go.”

The older man took it reluctantly and the brunet shot forward. “Come on, then. Let’s solve the Case of the Missing Successor.” He smirked back at the detective, switching to exaggeratedly accented English. “I bet we’ll be Near the solution in no time.”

When L wasn’t looking, he winced. That joke was a little too far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the time has finally come! I've been waiting to write this chapter for awhile now. And so L was telling the truth the whole time XD
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	23. Gone

****“Goddamn it, Sayu, it’s not that hard! Why are you so fucking stupid?”

Sayu Yagami turned purple under her yellowing bruises as they sat at the desk in the office, her brown eyes flashing. “Look, Onii-chan, I may not have a photographic memory like you, but I’m not stupid, okay? How the hell am I supposed to remember every detail of every case study father gives me?”

L watched, amused, as the siblings bickered over the picture of Nate River from his case file. Near didn’t have any other pictures of himself, so having it on such an official document was very symbolic of how far they had fallen.

“Fucking hell, Sayu, I’m not asking you to remember his life story, alright? I’m asking you to remember which asylum he was sent to!” Light let out a groan of frustration, burying his face in his hands.

“Do you have any idea what I’ve been through in the past two days?” The girl retorted. “A lunatic was beating me up only a day ago, do you realise that? How can you expect me to be remembering the details of these random people right after that?” She lifted up Near’s photograph, waving it around emphatically.

L winced. Well, that was a symbolic gesture too, if he looked at it right.

Raito cocked an eyebrow. “You know, you’re right. You were a _lot_ more useful staying in the infirmary.”

The brunette rolled her eyes, irked. “Fuck off. I don’t know why I even looked for you. You’re such an insensitive jerk.”

“I don’t know why you looked for me either! It was absolutely useless anyway. You should’ve stayed home.”

“What was I thinking? I was thinking about _you_ , you fucking asshole!” Indignant, Sayu chucked the photograph at him, her colour high. “Who the fuck leaves Nobleman’s County _without telling his family?_ I don’t care how much Mikami was torturing you, you left us without saying a word! Do you have any idea how worried Okaa-san is? And Otou-san, did you think about him? He looks like he’s going to have a heart attack any second! Did you spare them a single thought, you selfish bastard?”

L watched as Light bit his lip, glaring at her with steely eyes. Sayu kept her eyes on him, growing more and more wary by the second.

“You’re right. You don’t care how much Mikami was torturing me, do you?” He said quietly, and L cocked an eyebrow, puzzled. But he thought Mikami _hadn’t_ tortured this Light, he had modified his memories so it seemed like he was a good man...right?

L would have suspected Raito lying out of his ass just to win the argument, maybe, if it hadn’t been for his expression.

Sayu’s face softened, and she looked away quickly, ashamed. “I-that’s not what I meant, Onii-chan, you know that. I-I will never forgive Mikami-”

“I don’t care, Sayu.” The words were a gavel struck. “I honestly don’t give a fuck what you feel. If I show you a list of the asylums we’ve narrowed it down to, could you at least be able to tell me which ones are at least likely?”

The brunette chewed on her lip, giving him a begrudging shrug. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I can’t guarantee it.”

“Oh, I don’t expect you to. Not at all.” Raito said, condescension dripping from his words. Sayu glared at him.

“You know what, Raito? You’re an incurable jerk. I’m sorry you’ve had such a hard time, but goddamn it, you don’t make it any easier, do you? Like, the only reason I’m still helping with the Nate River thing is because Ryuuzaki-san asked me so nicely.”

 _Oh God, don’t bring me into this_. L nodded tentatively when both their gazes flitted to him. “Uh, yeah. Thank you, Sayu-chan. I’d like to get my brother back soon.”

“Oh, believe me, so would I.” The girl muttered, dragging her chair closer to Raito’s monitor and squinting at the dozen asylum names on the display.

L winced. What was that split-second change in Raito’s expression? The drawn brows, the slight widening of his eyes, was that anger? Hurt? Fear? But that ambiguous expression didn’t last long, because it was swallowed up in a perfectly ordered mask, the kind he wore when there were strangers in the room. L _hated_ that mask.

Unfortunately, he never got to study it well because at that very moment, the doors of the office burst open and Amane Misa stood there in her flared black Lolita skirt, corset and twin pigtails, a triumphant grin on her face.

“Yagami Raito!” She announced loudly, startling everyone out of their bubbles, and L let out a tired sigh.

* * *

There was something wrong with Yagami Raito.

Of course, he was a pretty quirky person to begin with. If Misa had a dollar for every mood swing he had in a day, she’d probably be just as wealthy as L used to be. It was hard to name a single reason she thought something was wrong with him, he seemed pretty much the same to her eye, but Misa trusted her heart above all. So when her heart said there was something different about the way Light held his head, about the brightness of his hundred-watt smile, about the expression in his eyes, she believed it.

“Misa, what are you doing?” A drawling voice asked behind her, and Misa yelped, whipping around and hiding her binoculars behind her back.

“Nothing! Misa isn’t doing anything!” The model declared before she absorbed who it was. Her eyes narrowed and she tossed her bouncy hair over her shoulder. “Mello should mind his own business.”

The blond gangster smirked, putting his elbows on the banister as he looked down at the ground floor at the object of her obsession, walking towards L’s office with his sister in tow, L trotting behind them with a lollipop in his mouth.

“You know, Misa, you’re lucky.” Mello said.

Misa rolled her eyes, already exasperated with what he was going to say. _This was going to be something stupid._ “Why would Misa be lucky?”

The blond man swept his bangs out of his ice-blue eyes. “Well, your life is simple, you know? You don’t have to give a single shit about anyone. I bet if you felt like, you could just go right back to blowing up buildings in the name of anarchy.”

Misa gasped, colour flooding her cheeks. “Misa can’t do that-!”

“I’m not allowed to do anything anymore!” Mello ploughed on, ignoring her. “Matt blames me for BB going missing, even though he was the one who kicked us out if I remember it right, so he won’t even let me meet up with the mafia! Like damn it, if I don’t keep refreshing my contacts, how the fuck will I keep us in the loop? And what did the _mafia_ do to him anyway? _B_ was the one who went psycho!” He sighed, rubbing the fancy silver crucifix around his neck. “Fuck it, sometimes I don’t think this is even worth it.”

Misa crossed her arms. “Mello is talking bullshit. Matt loves him! He should be glad he loves him! Look at Misa, her Raito is in love with someone else!”

“Ugh.” Mello groaned. “God help your soul. Your Raito is gone, Misa, when the fuck are you going to catch up? This is new Raito now, he isn’t in love with anybody.”

Misa lifted her chin haughtily, trying to disguise the twinge she felt in her heart. “Misa isn’t without morals like you, Mello. Even if Raito doesn’t love L-san as much as before-” She paused.

Mello cocked his head. “’Sup?”

The model’s mouth opened and shut. Her hazel eyes grew wide as marbles. She understood now, she understood what her heart had picked up during the stalking session. It wasn’t the presence of his sister that had changed something inside him, it wasn’t even close!

Misa was so proud of herself she could just explode. She quickly threw her arms around Mello’s leather-clad body, rubbing her cheek against his arm. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mello! Misa is so happy now!”

Mello gave her an amused smirk. “Sure thing, Misa. Whatever you say.” She hopped a circle around him in glee and blew a kiss at him before running at full speed down the stairs to burst into the office door she had seen them enter.

She would fix all of this, she would fix everything! Even if she never got the guy in the end, Amane Misa was going to be the hero of this story if it was the last thing she ever did!

* * *

Light had never really forgotten how perceptive Sayu could be. Even though she could be one of the most idiotic people he knew, she would almost always hit the nail on the head, and he never knew if she did it on purpose.

 _Oh believe me, so do I._ She knew he wasn’t her brother, she knew he was an imposter. He didn’t know how to feel about that. She knew, but she hadn’t said anything to him for the longest time, she had been part of the conspiracy, she had followed Mikami’s orders to keep him in the dark.

He wished he had never gotten that reminiscent. Sure, he would probably have been putting his efforts into trying to get back to Mikami even now, but at least he wouldn’t be second-guessing everything from the very beginning.

He almost hadn’t heard Amane Misa bang into the room until she declared his name as loudly as she could, L’s teacup rattling against the saucer in his hands. “Yagami Raito!”

He’d assumed this was about that ill-fated kiss again. It still made him cringe, the idea that he’d kissed her right in front of L. Had she seen his lacking his memories as some sort of opportunity to get together with him? She _did_ seem to have a crush on him.

Reluctantly, Light glanced away from the monitor Sayu had been agonising over, looking at Misa framed in the doorway. Her hands were on her hips, her pointed chin raised in triumph.

“Hey, Misa.” He sighed, vaguely depressed. This was all so exhausting. There was no plan for the future, there was nothing to work towards. All his plans to get back to Mikami were dashed to the ground, and he couldn’t very well follow L to the ends of the earth while pretending to be his lover.

Misa, evidently, was feeling exactly the opposite. She bubbled over with energy, bouncing excitedly on her heels. She got Sayu’s attention, the brunette staring at her bug-eyed, a delightedly amused smile pulling her lips up.

“Yagami Raito, look at me!” The model commanded, and Light blew out a breath, wishing he had never woken up. Was this a proposal? Had she decided to try harder despite their failure of a kiss? It couldn’t be anything good, this was Amane Misa.

Sayu elbowed him hard in the side, giving him a disapproving look. “Don’t be rude, Raito, the lady’s asking for you.” She sniggered. Light attributed at least seventy-five percent of her amusement to Misa’s dressing style. You didn’t really get many varieties of explicit clothing in Nobleman’s County.

Wearily, Light turned his head towards her. “Yes, Misa-san?”

She was a bit thrown by the honorific, she probably wasn’t used to anyone but Ryuuzaki addressing her with a _san_ , but she recovered quickly, her smile shining bright. “Misa-Misa knows your secret, Raito-kun! You think you’re so clever, but Misa sees right through you!”

Light narrowed his eyes as the girl sashayed towards him, sweeping her butter-blond hair behind her shoulder. He quickly made a list of the possible secrets that could get him in trouble right now (the return of his memories and the cellphone hidden in the toilet were the only ones he could think of). Since she was too stupid to actually force him to reap the consequences of either lie, Light wasn’t worried.

The blond girl stopped right in front of him, giving him the most infuriatingly smug sneer. “What will Raito do to make Misa keep it a secret?”

Light gave her a once-over, raising his eyebrows. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not hiding anything.”

“Oh, aren’t you? Is Raito shy?” Misa giggled tauntingly. “Or does he think he’s that good at hiding his emotions? Misa-Misa has been watching you for ages, she knows your face better than the back of her hand.”

Sayu raised her eyebrows, chocolate-brown eyes wide. “Um, that’s really creepy.”

“Amane-san has always been on the creepier side of the spectrum.” Ryuuzaki mused from his perch, gnawing on his nails. Light was still yet to meet his eyes.

The blonde tittered. “It isn’t creepy, Misa-Misa did it for love!” She declared. “Anyway, that’s all besides the point!”

The brunet frowned exasperatedly, running his hands through his hair. “What do you know, Misa?”

The model sighed disappointedly. “Misa _knew_ you would pretend not to understand. She will jog your memory.” She ducked down, knees bent, and leaned forward so her lips were inches from her ear. When she finally spoke, her voice was seductive, breathy, teasing.

_“Raito is in love with L-san again.”_

Light froze, the blood draining from him until it felt too cold everywhere. It was like he had just been kicked in the temple, his ears buzzing and vision tunnelling. He had to move, he had to speak, _he had to deny what she was saying!_

The humming in his ears faded until the only thing he could hear was Sayu splitting her sides laughing. “Oh my god, what did you _say_ , Misa-san?”

Misa was now looking right at him, her face encompassing the entire range of his vision. She was smiling still, but her brows were drawn down as if in worry. “It’s okay. It’s a normal thing to be shy, Misa understands. Raito-kun should just be confident and tell him!”

Light gathered his thoughts. L wasn’t an idiot, he would figure out Light had some of his memories back the minute she said anything. He couldn’t let this progress any further.

“Misa-san.”  He had to control himself, make sure his mask wasn’t cracking. “You’re mistaken. I feel nothing of the kind.”

The blond girl pouted her fat red lips. “Raito, you can’t hide it forever! It’s not okay to do that, Misa had hid it from you in the beginning and that was why she lost you! Let it out!”

L perked up, already suspicious, and _fuck this,_ Light needed damage control. He chuckled patronisingly, examining his ragged nails. He really needed a manicure. “Listen, Misa, we’re busy over here. We have a job to do. To put it bluntly, we don’t really have the time for your nonsense.”

Any other person he had ever known, any of his childhood classmates or even some adults would have shrivelled up and slunk away, but not Misa. Oh no, Misa had skin of steel, she wasn’t the type to back down from anything.

She looked at him with a teasing glint in her eye, and suddenly she seemed at least five times craftier than usual. “Okay, Raito, so Misa is mistaken, huh? Does that mean it’s okay if she says it out loud?”

The fury snuck up on him, tightening his fists as his face grew hot. His sister did not help matters, clapping her hands together, her face open with mirth. “Yes, Misa-san! Tell us the secret, I’m dying of suspense!”

Light gritted his teeth, exasperated. “Don’t, Misa. You’re not this stupid.”

“But she’s wrong, isn’t she, Onii-chan?” Sayu snarked. “So what does it matter if she says it?”

His eyes glinted. “You don’t know anything about this, Sayu, stay out of it.”

“L-san!” Misa announced. “L-san, you’ll be very interested in this-”

The rage propelled Light to his feet. “Misa, shut the fuck up.” He dived to grab her but she ducked out of his way with a giggle, rushing towards L, who was staring at the two of them with wide owl-eyes.

“L-san, Misa thinks you’ll- _ouch!”_ Misa yelped as Light grasped her by the arm, yanking her back. He towered over her, his grip on her upper arm painful, feeling an unshakeable urge to snap her like a toothpick.

He could hear Sayu gasp something in the background, but it stayed there, nothing registered in his head but that mocking gleam that he had seen in Misa’s eye, that goading smirk. “This is all some joke to you, isn’t it? This is all just some fun little game, playing with me and who I am, isn’t it? What kind of pleasure do you get out of my private affairs? How does this help you? Do you feel better, making my life a little worse?”

Misa gaped. “No, Raito, of course not-”

 _“This is my business!”_ Light yelled. “None of this concerns you! It’s not your life to meddle with! My emotions, my thoughts, my memories, they’re _mine._ You don’t have the right to mess with them, you don’t have the right to choose for me! They’re _my_ _memories!_ You don’t have the right to touch them, _you have no right!”_

Strong arms pulled him from the model. Misa cried out, scrubbing away her running mascara, but Light could only spare her a fleeting glance before L spun him around and imprisoned him in an embrace, his chin propped onto a shoulder and his nose buried in an inky mane that smelled like vanilla cake.

“Raito-kun, calm down. It’s alright.” The deep monotone said soothingly, stroking his head. “It’s alright.”

“Get away from me.” He bit out, trying to push away from the black-haired man. His composure wasn’t intact, he couldn’t meet L’s eyes. He couldn’t do this. “Fuck you, let me go!”

“Quiet. Shut your mouth. Take a breath.” The voice barked, and he realised just how hard he was breathing, how empty his chest felt, throbbing as he gasped for air.

“Let go. Please, just let go.” He managed before he felt his words start to stick in his throat. His breaths were short, his face burning. His thoughts were cloudy and strange. “Ryuuzaki…”

 _A panic attack_. He was having a panic attack. And to think he had always thought he was above such things.

“Deep breaths, Raito-kun.” The pale man hugged him closer. “Deep breaths.”

“Fuck off.” Light buried his face in L’s hair, his fingers curling into his thick sweatshirt. They couldn’t see him like this. His heartbeat was too fast, it was _too fast_ , he was losing his composure! He always had his composure, he needed it to survive. _He couldn’t let L know he remembered._

“It’s okay, Raito-kun. It’ll be fine.” The detective crooned. “It’ll be fine in a few moments.”

“I-I…” Light began to suppress sobs, feeling them rack his frame like hiccups. _He was so weak._ “I’m sorry, Ryuuzaki, I’m really so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” L said firmly.

“No, you don’t get it. You…” The brunet trembled. “He’s not coming back, he’s never coming back, he’s gone. He’s _dead.”_

“I know.” The words punched a hole through his gut, leaving him breathless. Charcoal eyes bored through him, set in that white face with the bushy black hair falling in complete disarray and lily-white lips pressed together in a straight line.

“What do you mean you know?” Light asked, surprise colouring his words. The detective’s lips curled up at the corners. He leaned forward, placing his forehead against the brunet’s so the tips of their noses touched.

“You’re already supposed to know this, Raito-kun, but I am your intellectual equal.” He whispered, his breath hot against Light’s lips. “I am capable of making deductions.”

Light narrowed his eyes, not knowing how to respond to that.

He felt a cool hand cup his face, and L’s eyes were piercing through his, so large he could just tip into them and drown. “Yagami Raito. When I first met you, you had never had serious feelings for anyone before me. You’re smarter than anyone I’ve ever met, but you still don’t really understand what I feel for you.”

He didn’t want the butterflies to be clogging up his stomach, he couldn’t have himself losing control. He backed away. “I don’t think _you_ understand-”

“I don’t need you to remember me.” L cut him off, burying his fingers in his smooth auburn hair. “I don’t need you to remember that I love you. All I’ve wanted from the beginning was for you to be happy. I don’t need you to care for me or love me back. We were never just romantic lovers anyway, we’ve always been more than that. You’re my rival, you’re my partner, you’re my first and best friend. I don’t need for you to remember who we used to be. All I’ve ever needed was for you to be...you.”

The detective smiled charmingly, a full smile, the smile from his dream. “And you _are_. You are the same person. You haven’t changed a bit.”

There was a moment of pin-drop silence, and then there was a hand under Light’s chin, lifting it so he was captured in L’s eyes again.

“Do you love me, Raito-kun?”

Light licked his lips. “L…I don’t know. I don’t know what I feel about you.”

“I understand.” L cocked his head. “Do you dislike me?”

The brunet stared at him for a second and then sighed. “No, obviously not.”

A smile quirked the detective’s lips. “Right. I suppose that’s a good starting point.” He raised a long, pale finger, tracing the line of Light’s straight jaw. “May I kiss you?”

A laugh burst out of him. “What?”

“May I kiss you, Raito-kun?” The detective was perfectly serious, his black fringe drooping over his thin eyebrows. Light let his smile drop, studying the older man’s face intently.

_Well, he had to try it sometime._

Yagami Raito closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here you have the moment you have all been waiting for! (No worries they won't stay happy for long XD)
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	24. Cherry Stem

It was never fun having to pee when the orphans were in class. Every bathroom in every hallway would be occupied at all times, everybody wanted to bunk a couple hours in there.

Amane Misa sighed, plopping down on the toilet inside one of the private rooms L had reserved for his own use. She didn’t like using these, especially when she didn’t know whose room it was. If it was BB’s or something, the toilet seat might be slathered in syphilis.

She reached behind herself for the toilet paper. Another thing about the private rooms, she never knew where the toilet paper would be, and she was so sick of putting in effort and turning her head. Blindly, she flailed behind herself, sticking her hand behind the toilet in her venture to wipe herself off.

“Ugh!” Misa yanked her hand back when it entered a grimy, sticky slot. “Ugh, that’s _disgusting_.” She pulled her hand out, but just as she did, she touched something strangely shaped, and too clean to have been in there for long.

“Huh?” She wrapped her hand around it and pulled it out. It was smooth, rectangular and dry despite having been behind the toilet for however long. Misa frowned, her thumb rubbing against the screen, switching it on.

“A phone?”

* * *

“Hey. It’s Sayu, isn’t it?”

The brunette threw a casual glance at the redheaded boy who appeared at her shoulder, grabbing a jar of peanut butter from the cupboard just above her head. He unscrewed the cap thoughtfully.

Sayu nodded. “Yeah. I’m Yagami Sayu.” She paused. “Daughter of Yagami Soichiro.”

“I know who your father is.” Matt plunged his hand into the jar and extracted one bulging, misshapen cigarette. He held the jar out to her with a raised eyebrow and Sayu declined smoothly.

“I know you know who my father is. I just thought it was the format for a proper introduction. What is your name?” Sayu asked. Matt rolled his eyes and yanked his orange-tinted goggles down over his green eyes.

“You already know my name, you’ve even used it while we were working.” He waited a second, placing his cigarette on his lip. “It’s Matt.” He clarified.

“I know. But now we’ve introduced each other, so we can proceed with an acquaintance.” Sayu stated, feeling a giggle come on at Matt’s incredulous look. “Wow, I sound like Raito.”

“No...” The ginger-haired man took a deep puff, blowing the smoke out of the window Sayu had just been staring through in the kitchen. “Is that how he is in Nobleman’s County?”

“Well, yeah.” Sayu gave him an odd look. “This is how he always acts, all fake and formal just to impress people with how superior he is.”

“Huh. I guess Light isn’t interested in formalities here.” Matt shrugged. “Probably since we’re all crazy and he secretly considers us beneath him.”

“Aw, I’m sure that’s not true.” Sayu lied through her teeth. “You’re very…quaint.”

“Snob.” Matt took a drag on the cigarette. He started to blow the smoke out the window again, but noticed something in the yard and froze. “Are you staring at him from here?”

“No!” Sayu hurriedly stepped in front of the redhead, blocking the view. “No, they just, uh, happened to be there!”

“What are you even looking at?” He smoothly pushed her out of the way and peered outside. A wide grin split his face and he stuck his fingers into his mouth, whistling piercingly. “Whoa, L! Score!”

“Shut up!” Sayu yelped, grabbing his elbow and dragging him away from the window. “Are you insane? Why would you do that?”

“Hey, you were the one staring at them.” Matt pointed out.

“I wasn’t staring! I was just…” Sayu crossed her arms self-consciously, changing the subject. “So, how did you find Onii-chan?”

The redhead raised his eyebrows behind the goggles. “Um. What do you mean, how did I find Onii-chan?”

“No, I meant…” She groaned, running a hand through her ponytail. “I mean, did Raito run away with Ryuuzaki-san? Did he…did he shoot Mikami?”

“No.” Matt quickly denied. “Nope, nothing like that. Uh…” He took a long drag on the cigarette. “He was, uh, kidnapped by a bunch of anarchists. But, like, down here in the slums you kind of get to know these things, so the minute we found out he was with them, we rescued him.”

“So…you’re anarchists too, then.” Sayu stated cautiously, much to Matt’s alarm.

“What? No! Of course not, what’re you talking about?”

“I know you’re anarchists, Matt.” Sayu rolled her eyes. “Raito told me he had consorted with anarchists, that’s why Mikami did whatever he did to make him submit. He said you’re good people, you don’t hurt anyone. And the fact that you rescued him backs that up.”

“Oh.” The boy relaxed again, leaning back against the kitchen counter. “That’s better. Then L won’t have to be so paranoid about hiding it from you.” He stretched casually, his loose striped shirt riding up. “So, how does it feel to be a traitor leaking insider information to anarchists?”

“Well…” The brunette picked at her hair. “If Raito trusts you, I will too. If he wants to help Nate River, I guess I can do that much for him.”

“Well, whatever it is…thanks.” Matt rubbed the back of his head. “Knowing the name of the asylum really helps come up with a plan to rescue him. You have no idea how long we’ve been working for this.”

“It’s fine.” Sayu waved it away. “I mean, all it took was a few minutes staring at a list. I have a pretty good memory, whatever Onii-chan says.” She smirked at him. “Your boyfriend was very pleased with me.”

“He is.” Matt caught a glimpse of her through the blue cloud of smoke that was starting to gather around his head. “He blames himself for Near’s capture, the same way he had blamed himself for Light, so he’s been working pretty hard. It’s all on L. Nobody’s more neurotic than Mello after a few harsh words from L.”

“L?” Sayu cocked her head as the redhead turned scarlet.

“Oh, um. I mean, Ryuuzaki. His, uh, last name is…Lawrence. We call him L.”

The brunette pursed her lips. “His name is Ryuuzaki Rue. He’s already introduced himself to me.”

“Oh.” Matt stared at her, then aggressively stubbed out his cigarette. “You and your goddamn introductions.”

The girl giggled. “Fine, don’t tell me. I’m sure Raito knows. He’ll tell me eventually.”

“I sure hope not.” Matt muttered, staring out the window. Sayu had only just started to follow the line of his gaze when the kitchen door burst open, a trim old man with a heavy white moustache panting against the doorframe. He had a hysterical light in his eyes, his lined face drawn in panic.

“Watari?” Matt asked tentatively as the man struggled to catch his breath.

“L! Where’s L?” He managed to gasp out, and Matt hurriedly stood up straight.

“He’s outside, Watari, but-”

“Bloody hell!” Watari cursed, readying himself as if he was about to start sprinting out the door any second. His pale blue eyes suddenly locked on Sayu and his eyes widened. “Matt, put her somewhere safe! And Yagami Raito, where is he?”

“He’s with L right now. What happened? What’s wrong?”

The old man clasped his hands together, his jaw tightening. When he looked up at Sayu, his eyes were steely, unforgiving, accusatory.

“We have been betrayed.”

* * *

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping in the trees, and for the first time in five days, Yagami Raito was sunbathing.

Well, not technically. The clouds were just on the horizon, but it was enough to feel the sunlight on his skin. He had spent so much time under Ryuuzaki’s unending gaze, a handcuff dangling from his wrist, tied up with duct tape, it was enough to just splay himself down on a bench in front of Roger’s orphanage and smell the fresh air waft over him in bursts of breeze.

Light stretched until he could feel the freedom into the depth of his bones. It had been five days since he had felt this, but it had also been three years. It was disconcerting, he would never have to organise a party again, never pick out the curtains or taste a batch of punch. He would never see Mikami Teru’s face in the morning, he would never have someone kiss him awake, he would never feel arms holding him with any modicum of affection.

The brunet squeezed his eyes shut.

No, that wasn’t true. When was he going to stop denying it? Why were there two parts of him at war at all times? There was his instinct that told him to rush into Ryuuzaki’s arms and never let go, and there was his conscience that was telling him to stay true to his engagement, to that traitorous bastard of a fiancé.

L had been leaving Light unsupervised more and more often since the confession. Once Sayu had narrowed down on the asylum Near was imprisoned in, Tawakoshi Penitentiary, L had put Mello in charge of the investigation and declared that he and Light were due a break. The brunet had taken a shower alone, picked out his own clothes, entered the empty cafeteria to grab a bite to eat. He wasn’t a chained dog anymore, he had earned his freedom.

He smiled as he noticed L coming down the garden path, his arms full of boxes and boxes of cake. The raven-haired detective raised a hand in greeting as he trotted towards him and stopped in front of his bench. Light crossed his arms behind his head lazily, his legs stretched over the seat.

“Are you finished instructing Mello?” He asked, not moving from his position. L fidgeted from leg-to-leg, balancing the dozen boxes in his hands.

“Yes. It was quite satisfactory. Your sister isn’t as insightful as you, but she does happen to be more knowledgeable. I project that we may locate Near within twenty-four hours thanks to her information.”

Light raised his chin, shutting his eyes and soaking up the sun. “That’s nice.”

He observed L’s mounting irritation at being left standing with some amusement. “Something wrong, L?”

In answer, the detective placed his boxes on the ground and climbed over Light’s knees to settle in a squat over him.

The brunet snorted. “Get off. My ankles will tan a different colour with your shadow.”

“You’re wearing full-length jeans, Raito-kun.” L observed.

Light couldn’t help but laugh. “So I am.”

“Raito...” L protested, pissed. “I am confused as to why you are taking up an entire bench to lie down.”

“You want some room, just ask.” Light raised an eyebrow tauntingly. The detective narrowed his eyes at him.

“No, you need not bother yourself.” He said airily. “I’ll settle matters myself.”

He settled into his squat and dramatically kicked his legs out, catching Light behind the knees. The brunet yelped as he rolled over, sprawling into the grass.

Light immediately got to his feet, brushing off his long-sleeved shirt and dusting the mud out of his hair. “What the fuck, Ryuuzaki?”

L chuckled amusedly. “You may now take a reasonable amount of space on the bench.”

“It was my bench first!” Light protested. “Go sit somewhere else!”

The detective pouted. “Does Raito-kun not want to socialise with me?”

“Not if you interrupt my sunbathing.” Light muttered, sitting down stiffly on the seat. Ryuuzaki observed him, then smiled crookedly.

“I apologise, Raito-kun. May I make up for it somehow?”

“Eat your fucking cake.” Light glimpsed at the boxes Ryuuzaki was almost squishing in his venture to slide closer to him. “It’s horrible how messy you are.”

L looked down at his dozen boxes, bemused. “Alright, if you wish.” He opened up the nearest one, picking up the cake between his index finger and thumb. He took a careful bite and glanced over at his companion. “Do you feel better?”

Light laughed. “You make it sound so unreasonable. Why do you have to bring so many, anyway? Why can’t you eat just one?”

“Sugar increases my deductive abilities by 44%, and you make deductive prowess necessary.” L monotoned. Light rolled his eyes.

“Such bullshit.” He said. “Sugar doesn’t do shit for your deductive prowess, and neither does sitting in a squat. You’re just making excuses to be a weirdo.”

“How harsh you are to me, Raito-kun.” L said, mock-offended. “I’ll have you know, I am the Detective L. I have solved more cases than you’ve spent years alive.”

“So, nineteen, then.” Light sneered. “Nineteen cases, what a feat.”

“And you would know, wouldn’t you?” The detective picked out the cherries from the cakes in each box, gathering them in his palm. “Yagami Raito, detective extraordinaire. Remind me how many cases you’ve solved?”

“Now that is a very good point.” The brunet crossed his arms behind his head again, leaning back against the backrest.

The yard was so empty, with all the children in classes. The bench they were occupying stood right behind one of the few scraggly trees that stood there, its trunk obscuring the view and keeping them relatively hidden. Light had a sudden vision of some of the older orphans making out in this exact spot.

He eyed L as he popped cherry after cherry into his mouth, spitting the pits into the grass below him. _Ugh_. Light knew he was supposed to find that disgusting. But when L glanced up at him, his inky black eyes reflecting the sun so they were flecked with white, he felt an uncalled-for flutter in his heart.

“They say tying a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue makes you a good kisser.” Light laced his fingers in his lap.

L glanced at him, popping another cherry into his mouth and biting in. “Am I a good kisser, Raito-kun?”

“Depends on if you can tie a cherry stem in a knot.” He smirked as L gave him an exasperated look.

“That is circular logic. I asked for your opinion.”

The brunet raised his eyebrows. “You’ll find out my opinion when you do it.”

L looked highly unamused. “I can. I am great at it. actually. I have played with cherry stems as a child, I am quite the expert.”

Light narrowed his eyes at him. “Are you?”

“Yes.” L stated, deadpan. He picked up his fifth cherry, getting ready to suck off the cream.

The teenager felt the old surge of competition inside him again. He cocked his head to the side. “Prove it.”

“Prove it, Yagami-kun?” He could tell L felt the same way. He had the same over-confident smirk, the same tilt to his head. “Alright, I shall.”

The detective snapped the stem off of the latest cherry, popping it into his mouth. “It’ll take a second, but I’m still a lot faster than-” He yelped when Light slid over, sweeping the empty cake boxes out of the way and kissing him hard.

“You’re so damn full of yourself.” He cupped his face, pressing into him. “Knot it now, Detective. I dare you.” Light stuck his tongue into his mouth, tangling it with L’s own. The detective let out a smothered gasp, struggling to regain control, pushing the stem further into the cavity of his cheek out of his reach.

“Oh, that is not going to help.” He laughed into his lips. L growled, shoving him away, but if there was one thing Yagami Raito was, it was persistent. He bent the detective’s head back, searching until he was ready to gag. When his tongue finally touched the smooth stick, he cackled with glee.

“Don’t do that!” L managed to gasp. “Raito-kun!” He made a desperate grab for the stem, his teeth raking Light’s bottom lip in the process, but it was no use. The younger man stole the stem, clamping his teeth over it and smiling devilishly. “I win!”

L pounced on him. He pinned him back against the bench and climbed onto him, spider-like, stopping inches from his nose. “I want that stem, Yagami.” He hissed. “Give it back.”

Light laughed merrily, squirming out of the way. “Why don’t you deduce your way out of this one, huh? Squat and see if it’ll help!” He said, his words muffled as he focussed on keeping his jaw locked around his prize.

“Return it!” L snarled, holding down his wrists. “I will put you back in handcuffs, I swear it, you little pest!”

“You lost fair and square!” Light threw his head to the side, avoiding the detective’s attempts to recapture it. “Maybe next time you shouldn’t mess with people obviously superior to you!”

“Oh, you bloody wanker.” The raven-haired man said in English before he grabbed Light by the hair at the nape of his neck. “Give it back to me this instant!”

Light hooded his eyes, peeking out from under his eyelashes. The sunlight suited Ryuuzaki, it made his hair darker, his black eyes glimmering. The brunet let a lazy smile curl his lips. “Make me.” He switched to English as well, his voice soft and seductive.

He watched L’s expression visibly change from contorted in fury to pure blankness, his eyes wide enough to swallow him whole. His face drained of colour, and he immediately released him. “Oh.” He said in a small voice.

Light propped himself back up straight, sneering. “Can’t do it, can you? Do you admit defeat?” He reached up to take the cherry stem from his lips and held it between his fingers.

L nodded jerkily, his eyes darting away. “I admit defeat.” He said roughly, sliding off of his lap and sitting in his squat on the other side of the bench.

The brunet stared quizzically after him. “L?”

“Yes, Raito-kun?” L asked brightly, his back hunched protectively like a snail’s shell.

Light frowned. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing.” He said breathily, staring at the wide tree trunk in front of them. His thumb brushed his bottom lip nervously.

“Don’t annoy me, Ryuuzaki.” Light groaned. “Just say what happened.”

L turned his intense gaze to him again. “I may have…had an adverse reaction to you.”

“Adverse _what?”_

The detective barrelled on, pretending not to hear him. “I would like to set some boundaries for your benefit. Obviously, with your having lost your memories, you are a bit muddled about me. I understand and will comply with whatever you wish. Since you seem okay with kissing, we can allow that. I would just like for you to tell me exactly how far I can go before it is too far.” He licked his lip and bit into it. “Under the assumption that you would like to go anywhere with me at all. It is entirely your decision. There is nothing I would hate more than to force you to do anything against your will.”

Light didn’t expect the laugh bubbling inside him, but it wasn’t entirely unwelcome. “This is all because I flirted with you?”

L blinked at him. “Flirted?”

The brunet mimed raising his chin, half-lidding his eyes. _“Make me.”_ He broke character to laugh. “In normal human interaction, that’s called flirting.”

“You...flirted with me?” The detective said incredulously, almost sending him into a spiral of giggles.

“Is it so hard to imagine? I have a crush on you.” Light grinned. “Don’t look so surprised, you’re not that ugly.”

“You’re attracted to me?” Disbelief dripped from his words. Light stared at him.

“I don’t understand why you’re so blindsided by this. I’ve been attracted to you before, haven’t I?”

L’s calculated gaze bored through him as if looking for any sign of a lie, and he let out a breath, closing his eyes. “One moment.” He raised one long finger in the air, plucking the cherry stem from Light’s hand and flicking it into the grass. He then turned back to him, hopped onto his lap and hooked his thumbs into the brunet’s pants. “Continue.” He demanded, pressing his body as close to his as he could.

Light’s own hands went to support the older man’s curved back. “Um, I like you, Lawliet.” He ran his fingers through his soft black hair, mapping the shape of his skull.

“I love you, Raito-kun.” L whispered. “I love you more than anything in the world.”

Light couldn’t help how wide his smile went, but he could at least try to smother it. “Okay, maybe tone it down a little. Technically, we’ve only known each other five days.”

“No.” The raven haired man drew closer, resting his forehead on his. His breath smelled like cake and sweetness. “I will not tone it down. Not when I could lose you any moment. I will not make that mistake again.”

“The teenager licked his lips, an irrational pang of guilt eating at him. “Ryuuzaki-”

“L!” A panting, heaving cry came from the orphanage, and thumping footsteps hurried towards them, knocking over a couple of plant pots in their haste. The two of them looked up to see Watari sprinting up the garden pathway, the sweat dripping down his face marking him with shimmering lines. “L! Inside! Now!”

 “Is something wrong?” L stared wide-eyed at him, refusing to budge from Light’s lap. Watari scrubbed at his forehead with his handkerchief, looking immensely annoyed.

“It is a crisis!” The old man snapped. “Get inside now! You cannot be outside under any circumstances.”

L cocked his head. “Crisis of what kind? Did the asylum-”

“It’s the Chief of Police. Yagami Soichiro.” Watari gasped out.

Light felt a chill go down his spine. “What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I just said, Yagami Raito.” Watari wheezed. “Soichiro. He has tracked us down. He is on his way this very moment with an arsenal from the Shingatese Police Agency.”

L stiffened, his grip around Light’s neck tight enough to choke him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the cavalry has caught up :( shame, I loved writing the fluff.
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	25. Betrayal

“You want me to call you Ryuga Hideki?”

L had successors for everything. He had them to collect data, analyse it, he could even give them whole cases to solve under the guise of practice if he was feeling bored. L, quite literally, had no job for the sole reason that he was L, which was why he spent most of his time trying to rile up Yagami Raito, the privileged son of the police chief trying to hunt them down.

The teenager in question was sitting in front of him in a business suit he had procured from thin air, his legs crossed haughtily and nose held in the air. “Ryuga Hideki?” He enunciated again, rolling the syllables teasingly. “The pop idol?”

“Yes.” L stated, placing his hands on his knees. “The pop idol.”

“Why? Won’t everyone realise you have a fake name, then?” Light asked, genuinely curious. Near and Mello would’ve just accepted every order as he said it. They put him on a pedestal, after all. Light, though, nobody could make him obey without question. Not in a million years.

L snorted. “So you think there’s only one Hideki Ryuga in the world? Besides, I would like to humour myself. I am allowed to have guilty pleasures too.”

“Your guilty pleasure is Ryuga Hideki, huh?” The brunet sneered. “You know who else likes Ryuga Hideki?”

“Amane Misa.” He said matter-of-factly. “Don’t you? He is quite inspiring.”

Light laughed. “You have terrible taste in music, Hideki-san.”

“Just Ryuga will do.” L smiled. “We are quite intimate, after all.”

“If you call wrestling in the hall intimate.” The teenager pulled out his phone, checking the time. “We’ll have to go soon. Watari told me to keep you prepared.”

“He likes you.” L observed, his thumb touching his lip. “He doesn’t like most of my friends.”

Light raised his eyebrows high in disbelief. “You have other friends?”

L shrugged, snuggling into his chair. “Mello, Matt and Near.”

The brunet burst into laughter. “L. For fuck’s sake, they’re _forced_ to be with you.”

The detective sucked on his lollipop sulkily. “That’s terribly rude of you, Yagami-kun.”

“The truth is how it is.” He got up off his chair, holding his hand out to L. “Come on, Watari texted me again.”

“You don’t think I’m unpleasant, Yagami-kun?” L took his hand and hopped off the chair. Light gave him a sardonic look, nudging him hard.

“I think you’re horribly, horribly unpleasant, Ryuga-san.”

L closed his eyes, for some reason imagining melting into his arms.

“Come on, Hideki. We need to leave. BB’s not going to rescue himself.” Light smiled.

“Lawliet, Yagami-kun.”

Most unexpectedly, rather than inquire further, Light groaned loudly. He quickly took a step towards the desk, grabbing something from it. _“God_ , you’re impossible. We’re in a hurry! Someone’s got to wean you off of the sugar someday.”

L blinked at him. “What’re you talking about?”

Light opened his palm, showing him the three lollipops he had gathered from the table. “Satisfied?”

 _Lollipop?_ L broke into a wide grin. “No, Raito-kun, you didn’t hear me right.”

The brunet hooded his eyes at him, deadpan. “Watari’s going to be really fucking pissed-”

“I just told you my real name.”

Light paused. Slowly, he looked at him, honey eyes picking him apart. “You…did?”

“My real name, Raito-kun.” L smirked. “And I will never say it again.”

Slowly, Light’s cheeks flooded pink. He sucked in his lip. “Uh, Ryuga, I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. Just-”

“No, you’re too late.” L snickered cheekily, shuffling out of the room as bouncily as he was capable of. “Perhaps you should value my words a bit more.”

“But…” Light rushed after him. “Come on, Ryuga, don’t be an asshole. You’ve already told me, you might as well just say it again.”

“There may be recording devices in this room, Light.” He said, shrugging. “I’m sorry, you should really have paid attention. It’s too bad.” He switched to English for extra salt in the wound. “Life is full of missed opportunities.”

The teenager glared at him. “You…you ass. You fucking asshole, I’ll get you for this!”

“Don’t be so rude, Raito-kun. It was what lost you my name.” L teased, hopping away to find Watari. Light took a few more minutes to regroup and follow him.

He had spent the rest of the day wheedling L’s name out of him. And in the end, he’d succeeded.

* * *

* * *

“Ryuuzaki. Ryuuzaki, snap out of it! Hey!”

L wrenched himself back into reality when a pair of fingers snapped in front of his face. His thumb was stinging from how hard he was biting it. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts.

They were inside the office, glossy sheets spread out in front of him, forming a map of Shingata that he was using to plan their defensive measures. Mello, Matt and Watari had dropped all their other responsibilities, Misora had just left after professing her allegiance to them. They were all looking at him to command.

“R-Right.” He said shakily. This would not do, he needed to be in control for the rest of this crisis. He couldn’t be zoning out or losing track, all of their lives depended on this. _Raito_ depended on this.

L placed his hands down flat on the map. “Mello. Matt. Take the information. All the hard disks and any papers that may lead back to my identity. If they manage to extract those, we are lost.”

Mello and Matt, who were both standing at attention like soldiers facing their general, immediately turned heel and sprinted towards the computers, ejecting files and stuffing them into their backpacks. Quickly, they scurried outside to do the same to their own systems.

L glanced over at Sayu, who was sitting at the windowsill and munching on a stray candy bar. “Miss Sayu, would it be too much trouble to ask you to draw the shades? Perhaps check the room for evidence?”

“Oh, sure.” The girl hopped down from her perch, complying easily. L was glad she felt no residual loyalty to her father. That would be more than inconvenient to deal with.

“Watari, please instruct Roger to ready the van and help me map out a potential route of escape.” L glowered at his sheets. They had to find a safe place far from here, with possible access to either the mafia or one of their old contacts. Mikami was still only on the way. Watari had found it out through their police contact, they still had time.

“Ryuuzaki.” Raito’s smooth voice interjected. “I can help too.”

L looked up from the map at the brunet standing just behind him. He chewed the inside of his cheek, then resolutely turned back to his plans. “Help me find a route. Stay by my side at all times. You are my priority, Yagami Raito, I will not let you fall into his hands again.”

“Fine.” The teenager complied, scanning the city with him. They had to come up with a plan soon, before the police got too close. They couldn’t be captured, it was unthinkable.

“We can go on foot, can’t we?” Raito suggested, crossing his arms. “Maybe duck into a nearby house? Misora or somebody can pick us up later.”

L shushed him. “You have obviously never seen an anarchist raid before. Let me think.”

“Uh huh.” The brunet gave him a withering look, squinting at the map. “Maybe we could-”

 _“Misa-Misa is so tired of being left behind!”_ There was an inhumanly piercing screech, and Amane Misa strutted inside, tossing her curling yellow ponytails over her shoulder. “Were you going to let her be captured by the police, L-san?”

L gritted his teeth. “Be _quiet_ , Amane-san.”

“Watari-san told me we were leaving or else I would still have been putting on my makeup!” She exclaimed, pulling her fur-lined jacket tight around herself. L felt the pressure build up around his temples. He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed for patience.

Luckily, Raito noticed his struggle and took pity on him. “Misa. Listen, L’s trying to focus. How about we get you ready to leave?” He steered her gently outside by the shoulders, giving her a reassuring smile. “Do you have anything that could incriminate you?”

“Well, Misa has her makeup. If she loses that, she’ll look like a hag for the next ten days.” The model’s laughter rang obnoxiously. Raito tried to keep his face as blank as possible, but the twitch of his eyebrow was telling.

“Right. Let’s go pack that, then. Quickly, we don’t have much time.”

“Okay.” Misa started to bounce out of the room, but stopped suddenly and whirled around. “Raito-kun, wait! Could this phone incriminate Misa? She doesn’t want to bring it with her, it’s all icky.”

L lifted his head, startled. “Amane-san. You know you are not allowed to have a phone.” Not since the debacle two months ago when she had almost brought the entire force of Shingata on top of them…

“I know, L-san. Misa didn’t buy it myself. She found it inside the toilet! It’s so gross, but it’s been ringing ever since Misa switched it on. It’s all people talking in some other language, Misa can’t understand. Does L-san want to see it?”

L glimpsed at her over his shoulder, took in her excited, honest expression. Something was fishy here, and if there was one person behind every suspicious happening… He turned the line of his gaze to Light, who had paled significantly. “Raito?”

He laughed pleasantly. “I’ll deal with her. Don’t worry, Ryuuzaki, focus on finding us a way out of here.” He went over to take the phone, but L was making connections he didn’t want to be making. _A phone in the bathroom, the same bathroom Raito had hidden something in before their fight._

“No. Step away from her. Amane Misa, I would like to see it.”

“Ryuuzaki, what’re you talking about? Do your job, we’re on a time limit.” Without warning, Light lunged at the model, attempting to snatch the device from her hands. Misa leaped out of the way, shocked. “Hey!”

L dropped his map, marching over towards the two of them and grabbing the cellphone. He felt a lump in his throat as he recognised it instantly. “This is a Whammy House disposable.” He glared at the brunet. “Who did you steal it from, Raito-kun? Mello? Matt?”

Light scratched the back of his ear, chuckling nervously _._ “I didn’t steal it. I was going to give it back.”

“You were _borrowing_  my successor's phone? Why?” The detective’s hands curled into fists.

The teenager blew out an annoyed breath. “Look, I’ll be frank, I was plotting my escape. But that was before I got my memory-”

The door blew open again as Watari returned from his mission, panting and holding his knees, a drop of sweat  running down his flushed cheeks. “L, Roger has the van ready. We are set to move whenever you say fit-”

“Whammy.” L barked. The old man looked up, surprised at the steel in his voice.

“Yes, L?”

“You never said exactly how the police tracked us down.” The detective shot out, his gaze unwavering from Light’s blank expression. _This bastard didn’t even have the decency to apologise._

Watari frowned. “Well, we don’t know. Our contact didn’t say-”

“Were there deficiencies in our safety protocol, perhaps? Did he find us because of our mission to rescue Sayu?” L gritted. “Think hard, Watari, this is important.”

“No. There were no deficiencies in our safety protocol, I am certain. That mission had no loose ends on our part, and Wedy lives in a ghetto neighbourhood with no real security measures. You are well acquainted with how thorough I am. I hope there is no doubt to my abilities.”

“No, Watari, it is not you I am doubting.” L sauntered towards Raito, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. “Please tell me, with all your years of experience, how do _you_ think Soichiro could have found out?”

The old man swallowed. “My intuition told me it was a betrayal. A tip-off, maybe. Are…are you alright, son? Did you figure something out?”

“Well put, Watari. A tip-off.” L snarled, coming nose-to-nose with the brunet. The boy took an instinctive step back. “Betrayal. You put that _quite_ nicely.”

Light stared at him as if he had grown three heads. “L, I swear to God, I’d hidden the phone there ages ago. Back during our fight, remember? I haven’t done anything with it.”

The detective backed him up to the wall, fists so tight his knuckles glowed. “I believe you had visited the bathroom recently, haven’t you? Shortly after I let you move freely around the orphanage?”

“What the fuck? I didn’t do anything, L!” Fury flashed in Light’s eyes. “Why would I keep trying to escape if I remember what Mikami did to me? Don’t be a fucking idiot!”

“Ah yes, the mysterious memory. You know, one thing I noticed? You never told me what you remember Mikami doing to you.” The words slithered out of him before he knew he was saying it, and for a split second, he felt remorse as Light turned a sickly green.

“Why would you ask me that? I…I don’t want to talk about it.”

An act. _It was all an act_. Yagami Raito was the best actor he knew, he manipulated emotions effortlessly. The perfect diplomat. The perfect liar. He had always been this way.

“Tell me what you remember. Anything. Just give me something of substance to keep my trust in you.” L felt a lunatic’s grin curve his lips up. “Tell me you didn't call your father and tell him where we are. Prove me wrong about you, Raito-kun. Prove that you have not used my goodwill for your own gains.”

“They’re not my gains! I-I can’t return to Mikami! I would never…” His amber eyes were huge. “I would never betray you. You know how I feel about you.”

“You’re deflecting.” L’s every word was a demand, a prayer. The desperation in them was palpable. _Tell me you remember, Raito-kun. Prove to me that you would never betray me._

_Don’t tell me you lied about remembering._

“That memory, I really don’t want to think about it, L.” The boy squeezed his eyes shut, nails scraping into skin. “Mikami, he was torturing me. He was…he was trying to hurt me…”

“He was trying to hurt you? Could you get more general than that?” L laughed weakly. “Please, keep lying to me. I do enjoy it.”

“Don’t make me talk about this! I don’t want to _think_ about it!” Light burst out, his cheeks scarlet. Tears pooled in his eyes, turning his pupils glossy. “Stop this. Just _stop_. I didn’t betray you. I promise, I promise I would never betray you.”

L bit savagely on his thumb. “Who did, then, Raito?”

 _“I don’t know!_ It could be anybody. You’re L, you have enemies! Why would you doubt me like this? How can you tell me you love me if you don’t even trust me?”

L felt rage course through his veins like adrenaline. “My only true enemies are my Whammy-bred successor who has been conditioned his entire life to keep my identity a secret.” He growled. “And the son of Yagami Soichiro.”

Light’s eyes grew enormous. “I’m your enemy?”

“Why did you do it, Raito-kun?” He could hear the misery in his voice and hated himself for it. “Why would you do this to me? You…you know how much I loved him, surely you know. You had to have known to exploit it this way. What kind of a monster would…would make me think-?” He cut himself off when his voice cracked. He would not show such obvious displays of emotion.

“L…” The brunet stammered. “L, I swear to God I didn’t betray you. I don’t know what to do to convince you-”

“Is that so? Well, all you need to do to convince me is explain how _mere hours_ after you manipulated me into taking off your handcuffs and letting you roam unobserved, Yagami Soichiro is at my doorstep to take me to my execution.” The detective had never been this close to breaking down.

Light was only just fishing for an answer when Mello and Matt bustled into the room, carrying large, heavy bags on their backs. “We’ve loaded everything we can! Have you gotten a plan yet?” The blonde roared, breaking the spell that had frozen time around the detective and his suspect.

Emotions had never come easily to L. It was always too easy to detach from them when they were growing too painful to bear.

“No. We will have to wing it.” L swiftly turned on his heel towards the exit. “Mello. Restrain Yagami Raito and his sister in this room. Make sure they cannot follow us.”

“What?” Matt goggled at him. “Are you insane?”

Sayu, who had been in the shadows all this while, loped forward, her eyes aflame. “Ryuuzaki-san! I don’t know _what_ you’re accusing Raito of, but whatever it is it’s wrong! He wouldn’t lie to you, you idiot! He’s in love with you! It’s so obvious!”

“L…” Mello started hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

“Do as I’m telling you, you pathetic excuses for successors!” L snapped. “He betrayed us. He’s the one who tipped off Soichiro. He’s the _traitor_ , Keehl. Restrain him this minute unless you want us all to die!”

“What?” Mello gasped, whirling to face Raito. “You sick bastard. Why the fuck would you do that?”

“I didn’t!” Light’s eyes were bright in a kind of hysteria. A wild smile flashed in his face. “I didn’t do it! You can’t be serious, L, you…you can’t leave me here. Five minutes ago you told me you won’t let him have me again. You _told_ me.”

“I am not an idiot. I know you have an objective behind your pleas, but it will not succeed. Mark my words.” L gritted out. “Why are you just standing there? Restrain them immediately! The handcuffs are in the drawer. Watari, come with me, we must leave.”

Mello took initiative, marching over and grabbing Light by the elbow, shoving him roughly back into one of the desks. Matt followed suit with Sayu, though much gentler. The blonde whipped out the pair of handcuffs L had shut into the drawer and locked it around the brunet’s wrists, looped around the leg of the desk.

Light stared after L as he began to walk away. “R-Ryuuzaki! Wait! I-I can tell you my memory! Mikami was…he had chained me down…he was mocking me, k-kissing me… _Ryuuzaki!”_

L had finally caught on to the boy’s plan. Light wanted them captured and executed for their crimes. He wanted to delay them until his father caught up with them. He had always had a strong sense of justice. L and his anarchist successors most definitely fell on the side of the criminals.

And to think he could fool the great Detective L into thinking he had fallen in love with him in five days. _The idiocy of it all._

“I’m telling the truth! Lawliet, _please!”_ He screamed, and L couldn’t just ignore him anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut until the burning evaporated.

“Gag him, Mello.” L said under his breath, and the brunet let out a cry.

“No! No, don’t-” He heard the muffled yelp as his second-ranked successor stuffed something into his mouth.

Sayu let out a scream. “Stop it! Stop it, let us go! You’re making a mistake, Ryuuzaki-san!”

“The only mistake I have made is forgetting that my Raito is dead.” L whispered, stalking out of the room. His successors followed suit, and Watari came last, shutting the door and locking it, deftly drowning out her shrieks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light being a liar makes him interesting, but also untrustworthy :(
> 
> Review and comment please!


	26. Hospital Room

It was very, very silent when he finally opened his eyes.

The world was still. The ceiling above him was a pasty white, the bed under him soft as satin and covered in cotton sheets. His head was throbbing, his thoughts muddled as if he had just been spun around in a violent game of blind man’s buff.

His fingers dug into the sheets as he chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to get his bearings.

A ceiling fan. He could hear a ceiling fan somewhere in the distance, whirring busily. Another whirring, but of a machine, a low hum in the background. A quiet clicking somewhere near his ear. He swallowed, his dry throat protesting the activity. He licked his chapped lips, half lidding his eyes to try and limit the headache behind his temples.

“Raito?” A soft, deep voice asked, and cool fingers pushed his long auburn fringe out of his eyes. Ryuuzaki, but wrong. Not deep enough, not musical enough. Light let out a sigh, leaning towards the touch. _Ryuuzaki_.

“Are you awake?” The hand cupped his cheek, another set of fingers smoothing down his hair affectionately. “It’s okay, take your time. The medication for your injuries is going to confuse you for a little while, I asked them to put in anaesthetic. You were a little hysterical when we rescued you.”

A smile quirked Light’s lips up. “Don’t be such an asshole.”

“What?” The voice sounded affronted, but not ironically. The hand that had been in his hair drew back. “What did you just say to me?”

The brunet cracked an eye open, startled.

“Raito? Are you okay?”

Deep brown eyes, flat and uninquisitive. A soft, symmetrical face with a long nose and thin lips curving in a thoughtlessly condescending smile. “Raito, sweetheart? You do recognise me, don’t you?”

Light didn’t realise he was screaming until he had already thrown himself at the man at his bedside, putting all of his weight into his knuckles as he punched him on the nose. He heard a sharp, satisfying crunch, but it wasn’t enough. He raked his nails over skin, any skin he could find. At some point, an IV in his wrist had flown out, splattering liquid everywhere.

The good doctor shouted, trying in vain to stop the flow of blood from his broken nose as he fended off the teenager’s attacks. “Security! Nurse! Somebody, _help!”_

“I’m going to kill you! You bastard, I’ll never forget what you did to me!” He shrieked, swinging his leg at him the way he had seen Ryuuzaki do so many times and striking him in the jaw. “I’ll never forget!”

* * *

It was very, very silent when he finally opened his eyes, and his wrists were zip-tied to the frame of the bed.

Light squinted as he glanced around this time, and thankfully he seemed to be less foggy in the head. He could remember most of everything that had happened. Ryuuzaki leaving him, his father finding him handcuffed to a desk, Sayu screaming beside him to get away from them, to stay away from them forever. _Sayu, what had happened to Sayu?_

His strained eyes finally spotted Mikami dozing as he leaned back in his chair, his mouth hanging open in a snore. There was a splint on his nose, a nasty bruise on his jawline and several scratches on his cheek he had covered in ointment.

Light prepared himself, taking a deep breath. No, he would never forgive Mikami for what he had done to him, but he wasn’t in any danger. His fiancé had been treating him well before the kidnapping. Light had a lot more good memories with him than bad, after all. He was presumably trying to make amends after that surgery. Besides, he didn’t need to discipline Raito when he was already grateful to him for rescuing him from the mafia and nursing him back to health.

He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again, slowing his breathing and trying to look convincingly scared. Eyes wide and bottom lip bitten. “M-Mikami?”

Unfortunately, his tiny voice was too soft to wake the doctor from his deep slumber. Aggravated, Light cleared his throat and tried again. “Mikami?” Nothing. He tugged at his tied wrists and let out an exasperated breath.

“Mikami. Hey.” He kicked at the frame of his bed, rattling it, but there was no response.

“Mikami, goddamn it.” He wriggled around, trying to twist himself so he could maybe kick the man’s chair back, tip it over. Falling would wake him up, right?

Luckily, he hadn’t committed to that decision because just as his toe was reaching the chair, the door to his room snicked open and Mikami immediately jumped awake.

“I told you, he’s not up! I’ll inform you when you’re allowed to visit!” He barked on autopilot. Light thought he caught a glimpse of Sayu’s long brown hair before the doctor slammed the door roughly shut.

Mikami reached up to grip the unbroken part of his nose rather elegantly, letting out an exasperated huff as he began to stomp back to his seat. He only stopped when he noticed Light’s wide-open eyes and strange position on the bed.

The brunet gave him a tentative smile. “Hi.”

The doctor seemed to cave in with relief. “Hi.” He slid into his seat and caught one of his tied hands in his. “You seem to be more coherent than last time.”

The teenager winced, squeezing the man’s hand as much as he could. “I’m really, really sorry. I…I was just confused, I didn’t realise it was you…”

“I know, sweetheart.” The man was reassured, his thumb brushing over the brunet’s lips. “Don’t worry, I forgive you. Are you feeling better now?”

“Better, yeah.” He looked down at his tied wrists, dismayed. “I won’t attack you again, I promise.”

Mikami nodded, understanding. “I’ll have them cut those. I’m glad you’re alright, Raito.” He shuttered his eyes, genuinely pained. “When you first came in, when your father brought you…all those injuries…I can’t imagine what they could have done to you. I just couldn’t help but think…”

Light smiled. “I’m fine, Mikami. I’m not that hurt.”

The black-haired man shook his head. “I know how hurt you were, Raito, I’m a doctor.” A brief smile. “No, it was…if I hadn’t shut you in your room that day… We found a broken window, signs of a struggle. If I hadn’t punished you like that, you would never have been taken.”

The brunet sighed. This was hard, pretending that he didn’t know exactly what a bastard this man was. Light was still reasonably sure Mikami loved him. Despite the abuse, despite all of it, the doctor had a soft spot for Yagami Raito, and he was going to use that.

“It’s okay, Mikami. What’s done is done.”

* * *

It had been seven hours and fifty-three minutes since they had been forced to leave Yagami Raito behind.

Mello only knew this because that was how long L had abdicated his position as leader, opting rather to sit in the corner, keep his head against his knees and retreat into the depths of his mind. Mello hated it when L abandoned the cake on his plate, it made him feel jittery and strange.

“Look, if it was going to affect L this badly, he should have just brought that traitorous bastard along.” Mello snapped, sulking.

Matt gave him a scornful look. “Shut up, Mello. You’re not helping.”

“I’m serious, we could have just kept him handcuffed. Taped his mouth shut, maybe, and we could’ve left his sister behind.”

The redhead sighed. “But for how long?”

Mello shrugged. “I don’t care, as long as L isn’t like this.”

“Look, if there was never any chance of getting Light back, L was going to end up like this eventually. It was inevitable.” Matt pulled down his goggles. “We did the best thing, we gave Light what he wanted. Now we don’t have police trying to track us down.”

A gravelly voice interrupted him. “You’re mistaken. We will.” They both looked up to see that L had raised his head. His eyes were bloodshot as if he hadn’t slept in days. “We will continue to have the police on our trail for some time now, so I advise you to prepare yourselves.”

Matt frowned. “But why, L? Light doesn’t know any of our locations, we’re driving randomly. They won’t get anywhere on our appearances alone, especially since we stay inside most of the time. Light can’t give them any information that matters, except the fact that you’re L.”

“No, he won’t reveal anything like that. I know that much.” The detective said softly. “But he is a traitor. He will reveal another key piece of information that will hinder us for a long time.”

“Near.” It dawned on Mello. “Near’s location. We have to rescue him soon.”

L tilted his head soberly. “We have to rescue him before either Yagami blows the whistle. I calculate that Raito will be busy trying to fend off questions for some time, he will not reveal it immediately.”

Mello and Matt nodded fervently.

“Tomorrow night. We must rescue him tomorrow, or we will never find him again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recovery chapter from last time's anarchy XD
> 
> Late update, but only because of exams so you will forgive me. 
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	27. Matsuda

For the first time since Raito’s engagement over a year ago, Yagami Soichiro had taken a holiday from work.

He hadn’t wanted to. If there was one thing Soichiro hated more than anything in the world, it was people who shirked their work for personal reasons. The worst of the anarchists were better than lazy freeloaders. Even goddamn Mikami Teru, that blithering fool, was better than them.

Soichiro shook his head minutely. How typical of himself to be thinking about work even now, while his son was recovering in a hospital room and his daughter was busy prancing around as if she was completely fine.

Sayu’s bruised and battered face still hurt to look at, but her scars didn’t seem to be psychological in any way. She was a resilient young girl, nothing swayed her. Endurance, she had probably inherited that from her mother.

Raito had a different kind of strength. To be able to claw up a threat as he had Mikami…Soichiro felt sorry for the kidnappers. He had inherited that boldness from him, that was certain.

“Okaa-san, we can’t leave him alone with Mikami like this!” Sayu was exclaiming as Soichiro’s pacing led him back to the waiting room. He lurked in the shadows, blatantly eavesdropping on them. He knew they didn’t speak freely when he was in the room.

Sayu was most definitely being vocal at this moment, tightening her arms around her mother’s neck and squealing into her ear. “It’s not right!” She appealed. “We know what’s happening, both of us know! Raito was unhappy enough to run away _twice_ , Okaa-san! We can’t keep doing this to him!”

“I know, sweetie.” Sachiko stroked her long brown hair calmingly. “There’s nothing we can do-”

“Of course there’s something we can do!” Her bruised face twisted into a snarl. “We can confront Father! We can force him to stop this!”

 _And the plot thickens._ Soichiro wasn’t happy his daughter was questioning his decisions, but he was proud of her fire. Her mother, though was a different story.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to take this up with your father, Sayu. You know how final his decisions are.”

 _What a weak woman._ Soichiro felt contempt bloom as he curled his fists. He could imagine if she had been married to anyone but him, how pathetic their children could have been.

He abandoned the shadows, marching up to his family. His fool of a wife blinked innocently, giving him a girlishly startled look as if she was a woman twenty years younger. “Hello, darling. Did you have a nice walk?”

 _Like they were strolling in a park_. Oh, this woman got the rage rushing through him faster than anybody else in the world. Nobody but the most repulsive of anarchists produced this depth of feeling within him. “What were you two talking about?”

He was trying so very hard not to raise his voice inside the hospital. Look at her, in her greying smock, her hair mussed as if she hadn’t spent fifty percent of his salary on beauty products. Look at that pinched mouth, those downcast eyes. She was a personification of weakness. For a split second, Soichiro hated her.

Sachiko picked up on the change in the atmosphere, but as usual, she attempted to diffuse it. “Soichiro, love. Come speak with Sayu. She’s been dying to say hello ever since she was discharged.”

He was about to bellow at her before he realised yes, he should probably have a talk with his runaway daughter. He sat stiffly in the seat beside Sachiko and gave Sayu a reproachful look.

“Do you realise how reckless you have been? We have been worried _sick_. Your mother fasted for days. We looked everywhere for you.” He admonished, in a startlingly even tone compared to how he had shouted when he’d first found her and Raito in that orphanage.

Sayu did not seem to appreciate it, turning her head. “I don’t want to speak to you.”

The police chief gritted his jaw. “You will not talk in that manner, Sayu. You will show me respect.”

“Or what? Or you’ll marry me off to an abusive stranger?” She curled her lip in disgust. “Do you have any idea how much pain Onii-chan is in? Do you think he would run away for any stupid reason? Mikami is a sick _dog-”_

“Silence.” His quiet command was enough to smother her complaints. “You will face the consequences of your actions at home. Currently, we’re in a public place, so you will be silent.”

She glared at him, but did not open her mouth. _That would do_. “Your brother did not run away, no matter what you were led to believe. He was kidnapped by anarchists. He is currently suffering from psychological trauma. You will respect that, and you will not cause him any more distress than you already have.”

“I couldn’t cause him any distress even if I wanted to.” Suddenly, the girl looked younger than ever, glowering into her lap like she had gotten the wrong answer in math. “Mikami won’t let me see him.”

“That is his right.” Soichiro said. “He does not have to allow anybody to visit until Raito is awake and coherent.”

“He’s obviously awake, Otou-san.” Sayu said sulkily. “Don’t insult my intelligence.”

The chief frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I know where his room is.” She gestured towards the door nearest the waiting room. “It’s over there.”

“Okay…” The middle-aged man stared blankly at the door. “So what?”

“So I _saw_ that policeman going inside, Otou-san.” Sayu rolled her eyes.

“Doctor, you mean.” Soichiro spared her a suspicious glance.

Sayu groaned. “How would a doctor going inside mean he’s awake? He was a _policeman.”_ She cocked her head curiously, analysing his expression. “Don’t you know he’s awake? Who sent in policemen without your permission?”

Soichiro straightened up, alarmed. “A _policeman?_ Who? Did you see his face?”

“He’s still inside, Otou-san.” Sayu said, staring at him. “Didn’t you know?”

A stranger come to talk with Raito again, another stranger in a time when people were bold enough to kidnap nobles straight from Nobleman’s County. Blind with panic, Soichiro jumped up from his seat and sprinted to the door.

* * *

When Matsuda Touta had joined the Shingata Police Agency, he had never for a second imagined that he would be doing anything more glamorous than punching papers with the office assistant in the corner while brave men like Yagami Soichiro and Aizawa Shuichi earned all the actual glory for the nation. He wasn’t anyone special, after all. He wasn’t even a good policeman. His grades in the Academy had been abysmal.

And yet, here he was, playing double agent for a foreign detective all the while pretending to be the chief’s most loyal protégé.

Well, that was how the chips fell. For the record, Matsuda was certain that he was playing on the right side. After all, L-san was one of the greatest detectives in the world, a genius in the making! How could supporting such an intellectual be a crime? He was better at solving crimes than Yagami-san and Aizawa-san combined, Matsuda had observed it himself when they had worked on cases before the Anarchist Purge that had taken the detective down.

Plus, there were those nasty rumours floating around about how Yagami Soichiro had exploited his son’s intellect to solve all those major cases a couple years ago…

“Excuse me, Mikami-san?” Matsuda knocked gently on the door, glancing nervously at the hallways to make sure Soichiro hadn’t returned. He turned the doorknob and peeked inside the hospital room. “Mikami-san? May I come in?”

Oh yes, Yagami Raito was another reason he was supporting L’s return to power. He had never thought it right for such a bright boy to be resigned to the life of a mate for the rest of his life when he had such a promising future.

Which was why he was so angry that L-san had left him behind. After all the trouble Matsuda had taken to inform them early of the police bearing down, he couldn’t even take the time to save his lover? Wasn’t he supposed to be a genius?

Inside the room, he spotted the auburn-haired teenager sitting up in bed with the blankets over his knees. He smiled, coming forward enthusiastically. “Hello, Raito-kun! Do you recognise-”

Suddenly, his field of vision was entirely dominated by a black-haired man with angular glasses over his long bandaged nose. “Who gave you permission to open that door?” Mikami snarled threateningly.

Nervously, Matsuda glanced into the corridor. Soichiro wasn’t back from his walk yet. “Chief Yagami.”

“For what purpose?” The creepy man hissed. “Why would Yagami-san wish so badly to disturb his son’s recovery?”

Matsuda stammered, holding up his clipboard. “We need a…police interrogation of…of Yagami-kun to f-find his kidnappers…”

“Calm down, Mikami.” Matsuda sighed with relief when Light finally spoke up. “I’m fine, okay? Never better.” The boy smiled charmingly at the police officer. “You can ask me whatever you want.”

This was one of L’s protocols, in case one of his men were ever captured. Matsuda was supposed to pretend to interrogate them while actually giving them more information on their situation so that they could either pass it on to L when they escaped or used it to protect themselves.

It wasn’t easy to communicate with L from this side of the law. The last person he had done this for was Near, telling him what the top-secret evidence they had on him so that he could prepare for it with his lawyer. With Raito, it was going to be a little more complicated. The teenager didn’t know any of the codes, and Mikami was watching him like a hawk.

“Yagami-kun, it’s very nice to see you again!” Matsuda sauntered inside, pulling up the chair Mikami had presumably been using. “The last time I saw you, you only reached up to my shoulder!”

Light mustered up an obviously faked laugh. “Yeah, it’s been awhile.”

“That it has, that it has.” The police officer eyed Mikami, who was crossing his arms and leaning against the wall, glaring forbiddingly at him. The small talk was over, how was he going to get this man to leave?

Light ran his fingers through his hair. “Matsuda-san…you are supposed to interrogate me?”

He glanced back at the brunet, and was startled to see how very much the sparkle in his eyes was like L’s. Did he know that Matsuda was L’s contact? L wouldn’t have told him, he hadn’t told anybody but Watari. How could Light have figured it out?

The teenager lifted an eyebrow. “Matsuda-san?”

Matsuda understood. He was telling him to disguise his information as questions! “Oh, yes, yes.” He flipped through the pages of his empty clipboard. “Um…so. What did your kidnappers look like?”

“Well, there were three of them in total.” Matsuda watched in awe as the teenager began to lie smoothly, almost smugly. “Two of them were Shingatese peasants, the third one seemed to be from Germany based off of his accent. The Shingatese ones were both bald and wore gang symbols, like the anarchists of Ranyako. They were planning on holding me for ransom, but they kept having disagreements between them and never decided on the amount they wanted to ask for.”

Matsuda scribbled all of this down furiously. Later, he could use these notes to take the scent off of L in case one of his future endeavours backfired. Light was really doing him a favour here.

The police officer was just about to start off with another made-up question when Mikami cleared his throat. “Aren’t you missing one of them, Raito?”

Matsuda and Raito both blinked up at him. “What?”

Mikami frowned, puzzled. “You don’t remember? Your other kidnapper?”

“Mikami, what are you talking about?” Raito asked.

The doctor cocked his head. “The one with the strange name? Thin, bad posture, messy black hair, wears a white t-shirt? He’s very distinctive, I’m sure you couldn’t forget him.”

Light was silent, and Matsuda felt his heart claw up to his throat. _Holy crap, how did Mikami know this information?_

 “Raito?” Mikami widened his eyes. “Oh, no, Raito, I’m sorry! I _knew_ this was a bad idea.” He rushed up to Light and wrapped his arms around him. “Why do you look so frightened, sweetheart? It’s okay if you don’t remember him, it’s fine.” He gently stroked his chestnut hair, sending Matsuda a seething glare. “Get out of this room.”

“Mikami-” Light began, but his fiancé shushed him.

“You need to rest. I will tell people when you’re ready to meet them, why can’t anyone listen to me? Get out of here, Matsuda- _san!”_

“Mikami, stop it.” Light tried to push away from him, but Mikami’s hold didn’t break. “It’s okay, it wasn’t Matsuda’s fault. I can answer a few questions, it’s not a big deal-”

Matsuda felt like slapping his forehead in frustration. How had he let the situation escalate like this? He had to finish communicating with Raito! “Mikami-san, I only have a few more questions-”

Suddenly, the door banged open and Yagami Soichiro stood inside the room, chest heaving as if he had just run a mile. “Who is this interrogating Raito without my consent?” His eyes bugged out of his skull. _“Matsuda?”_

The policeman grinned sheepishly, scratching his head with the end of his pen. “Ah…”

“Matsuda, get out!” The chief roared. “I will bring this up with your superiors!”

“N-No, Yagami-san!” He jumped to his feet hurriedly. “I’m leaving!”

“Out!” The older man blared and Matsuda began to hurry out of the place. He hesitated at the doorway.

“What are you waiting for?” Soichiro stomped towards him. “Do you want me to throw you out with my bare hands?”

It was now or never. Matsuda slipped back into the room and grinned cheekily. “I know I am _beyond_ late for your _birthday_ , Yagami-kun, but I’d like to wish you anyway!” He blew a kiss at him because he had no idea what else to do. “See you later!” He hopped out and ran through the corridors at full speed.

Hopefully, that had been enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! (i had to work in a Beyond Birthday pun somewhere, be glad it's not in the middle of a climax XD) Also goddamn it, I forgot to say "Matsuda you idiot"!
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	28. Sanity

The asylum had not been kind to Near’s sanity.

The irony of that often made him giggle. He spent a lot of time giggling quietly to himself, it was a way to pass the time. The asylum hadn’t been very kind to him at all, but one thing it had been brutal on was his sanity.

It was lucky he was a Whammy. He had withstood it all without L backing him up. He was finally more than a successor, because he had succeeded. Three days and he would be released. Three days, after months and months of negotiations and good behaviour, three days.

Near had never thought he would have to be independent while L was alive. He hadn’t heard a peep from him in months. If Yagami had been truly caught that day and L hadn’t managed to rescue him, that was probably where all of his efforts were going. Nobody put poor little Nate River on the top of their priority list.

Nobody except himself, of course. With his impressive diplomacy and intellect, he had gotten himself the deal of a lifetime.

Three days and he would be released. All he needed to do was to resist screwing up for three days.

That wasn’t so bad, was it?

* * *

_“Sneak in through the back entrance!”_

Mello growled into his earpiece. “It’s pitch-black in here. How do the guards even keep track of the inmates?”

_“The guards have night-vision glasses. The inmates are the ones in trouble.”_

“Still, though, it’s so fucking inconvenient. Like shit, BB would be having the time of his life if he was held here!”

_“They inject patients of BB’s status with a powerful neurodepressant at nighttime. So it would have been torture for him. Luckily, Near is not quite as high-risk a prisoner as B was.”_

A thump and crawl. They had a couple metres to go, and then they could use the keycard they had forged once they had figured out Near’s cell number.

Crawl, crawl, and finally, both of them, Mello and L, reached the steel door that separated the first ranked successor from them. Watari and Matt waited in the van, it was now or never.

Mello shoved the keycard blindly into the slot and was rewarded with a green dot blinking into the suffocating darkness. L covered it with his hand before it drew attention.

“Near?” Mello whispered, and the room shuddered with a gasp.

 “I haven’t done anything!” A shrill voice burst out. “I swear I haven’t, please, don’t take my three days away! I’ve been good!”

L cleared his throat, and the voice fell silent. _Was that…Near?_

“Nate, it’s me. It’s us.” L’s deep voice was soothing, reassuring, Mello had never heard him speak this way to anyone but Light. “We have come to rescue you.”

“You…!” The wavering cry that used to be Near’s balanced, capable monotone trailed into nothing. “You…came to rescue me?”

“Yes, Near.” L stepped into the room, arms held out, Matt directing him as he walked. With the bugs in the cameras and the redhead relaying careful instructions to each of them separately, it almost didn’t matter that they didn’t have any night vision glasses. “We have come, we will get you out of here. Matt says you’re restrained. Are you hurt?”

“Am I…hurt?” The white-haired boy’s voice didn’t sound right. It didn’t sound fixed in reality. “Hurt? You’re asking if I’m _hurt?”_

“Quiet, Near, it’s alright. We’re going to get you out.” L hushed him, but it was no use.

“Am I hurt? Am I _hurt?_ _Am I hurt, L?”_

L seemed thrown so Mello gave it a shot. “Hey, fucking _hell_ Near! Keep your voice down. Do you want us to be caught?”

“You abandoned me!” Near screeched. “You threw me away! I had to take care of myself!”

“Near…” L started.

 _“Three days!”_ The first-ranked successor bellowed at the top of his lungs. “I will _not_ let you ruin it! I fought for it! I won’t let anything ruin it! Three days! _Three days!”_

 _“Mello, L!”_ Matt screamed into their ears. _“Get out of there, the guards heard him in the West Entrance! They’re coming for you, there’s nothing I can do! Leave him there and get out!”_

“No!” Near shrieked. “No, don’t _leave! They’ll blame me!_ Three days! _They’ll take my three days away!”_

L grabbed Mello’s arm, and Matt shouted into their earpieces. _“Fuck, no! They’re there! L, they’re going to-”_

An alarm sounded and Mello cringed, blinded by the sudden brightness. Every single light in the corridor blinked on, the hall whitewashed and foreign. The guards were coming, they were bearing down with batons, tasers and handcuffs.

Near’s shrieks changed into pleas, _I didn’t do it, they broke in, I’m still strapped in, see? I’m still a good inmate, please, please,_ and there were arms grasping Mello’s and shoving him down. Matt’s voice died in their heads and he could see L’s eyes, soulless and empty, as the guards knocked them both to the floor and cuffed their hands behind their backs.

“Oh fuck.” Mello muttered to himself.

* * *

“We’re home.”

It seemed a strange time for Mikami to say it considering they had returned ages ago, with Light already curled up into a burrito in his sheets and a bowl of Mikami’s favourite soup in his hands, his fiancé merrily fluffing up pillows and nuzzling next to him.

To think, only a couple weeks ago, he would have found this the most endearing thing, Mikami being a sappy caring lover, but right now it was exhausting. Light couldn’t look at the man without feeling disgust. He could barely stomach the soup.

And so he busied himself in his plans.

“Yeah.” Light smiled, taking another sip of the warm broth. Mikami quickly took the spot next to him, snuggling into the bedsheets with him and tangling their toes together. With a sigh, Light rested his head on his shoulder and felt the contented chuckle ripple through the doctor’s frame.

“I love you, Raito.” Mikami whispered, and the revulsion almost made him spit out his soup. He swallowed painfully and nodded.

“Love you too, Mikami.”

The doctor glanced at him, glasses flashing under his dark mop of hair. “I think it’s time you started calling me Teru, Raito. Using my last name distances me, don’t you think?”

Light licked his lips. “Y-yeah. I guess so.” He looked him straight in the deep brown eyes. “I love you, Teru.”

The smile that split the man’s face was from ear to ear. “That’s more like it.” He put an arm around the teenager and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

The brunet’s hands shook, the soup sloshing dangerously in the bowl. Quickly, he looked around for a distraction, his hands scrabbling for the TV remote and switching it on. The news flashed onto the screen, reporters interviewing a guard dressed entirely in black who looked a step too proud of himself.

Mikami smirked. “Another prison escape averted. Long live Shingata.”

 _Long live Shingata._ Light sipped broth from his spoon.“I-uh. Mikami, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Teru, you mean.” The doctor’s voice teetered on the edge of annoyance, and his mind flashed to hardwood floors and collars around his neck. Light blanched, feeling panic turn his limbs rigid.

“Teru.” He gulped. “I wanted to talk about Beyond Birthday.”

The change on his fiancé’s face was instant. Suddenly, all the affable kindness was gone and his eyes flashed with severity. “What do you want done with him?”

Light widened his eyes. “No, I didn’t mean…I want the law to be followed. I don’t need anything more. Just…tell me how you caught him?”

Mikami pursed his lips. “We caught him on charges of trespassing, he was trying to break into a neurosurgery clinic I believe. He blabbered something about a chip in his brain, he was a convict and so wanted to get surgery to get it out of him. He let slip that he was one of your kidnappers, so we exchanged a lighter sentence for your location. He was too delirious to say anything about the other kidnappers, but we’re still in the process of getting it out of him at the Police Headquarters.”

His heart twinged. “Right.” _So Beyond really was the informant_. Light was figuring something out, a plan, a next move. He had to escape Mikami, that was a given, but what would he do?

He had to kill BB, or at least neutralise him as a threat. If he ratted out more on L and the team, they’d be fucked and Light’s cover story would be blown. Mikami would become suspicious, his freedom compromised. He had kill him-

He froze to a halt.

His soup spoon plopped back into the bowl. Mikami glimpsed worriedly at him. “Are you okay, Raito? Are you sick?”

Light couldn’t move, he couldn’t take his eyes off of the television screen. A news channel, with reporters cheerily interviewing a triumphant asylum guard. There had been a prison escape thwarted last night, the criminals apprehended successfully and put away. The two mugshots were floating in the corner of the screen.

A blond teenager in full leather, a nasty gleam in his eye. A slender raven-haired man with huge dark eyes and a rat’s nest of hair on his head.

The reporter was smiling broadly. “So what is being done with them?”

“The same thing that’s done with all criminals, we’re holding them until trial. Nobody defeats Shingata!”

“That’s right.” The reporter simpered. “Nobody defeats Shingata.”

Light looked at Mikami. “I need to meet him.”

The older man’s forehead crinkled. “You need to meet who? Beyond Birthday?”

“It’s important for my closure.” He said, putting his bowl aside and running his hands down his fiancé’s chest seductively. “Once I see him imprisoned, once I talk to him alone, I can move on from this.” He wrapped his arms around him and softly, gently, placed his lips upon his. “Please, Teru. For me.”

And he could see Mikami fold right there, his face turning tomato red as he grinned and pushed up into the kiss. “Anything for you, my Raito.”

 _I’m not yours, and I’ll never be again._ He took a deep breath and climbed onto Mikami’s lap, kissing him as the doctor’s fingers fumbled with the button of his trousers. This was perfect, he could get Matsuda, who was obviously L’s mole, to escort him through headquarters, and he could set his plan into action.

He had just begun to unfasten Mikami’s belt when the doctor placed his hand on his. “Wait, Raito.”

Light paused, relieved. Maybe he wasn’t in the mood and Light could just go back to his room-

“You do know that me allowing you to visit the Police Headquarters after your immense trauma is a sacrifice, don’t you? Especially since I won’t be allowed to escort you the whole way.”

The brunet nodded. “Of course. Thank you, Mik-Teru.”

“I believe…I am to be rewarded for my sacrifice.” A slow, sleazy smile pulled at the older man’s lips, and he suddenly flipped them over, Light on his back under the black-haired man as his fiancé tugged at his pants. “I believe I deserve that, don’t you?”

“Y-yes.” Light squeezed his eyes shut, his nails pressing into his palm. “You deserve it.” He turned his head to the side. He waited for it, _no he wasn’t going to think about chains and cold floors and aching knees._

“Look at me, Raito.”

It never came.

Mikami took his hand in his, running his fingers over his wrist. Light felt dread twist his stomach.

“Teru?”

The black-haired man looked up at him, and there was a leer on his face that Light so wished he could tear off. “Raito.” He laughed merrily. “Marry me!”

The soup came gushing right back up his oesophagus, and he had to swallow mightily to keep from throwing up. _“Marry_ you?”

“Marry me, Raito. You are the love of my life. I saw what I was without you, I was a shadow. I never want you to leave me again. Marry me, Yagami Raito. Marry me, and I’ll give you everything you desire.”

Light gaped. _What was this?_

Mikami peered in, glasses gleaming so he couldn’t see his eyes. “Raito? Will you marry me?”

_No, no, no._

The brunet swallowed and smiled tightly, and L’s face flashed in front of him, those huge eyes watching him owlishly, tracking his every move as if he had any right to watch him ever again. _You’ve done this to me. You put me here. You betrayed me, there’s nothing more to say._

Light laughed, friendly and open, and he almost believed it himself.

_Don’t say it, please don’t say it. I know there’s another way._

“It’s about time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eep, it's been too long since I updated. Hopefully I made up for it with that plot twist! Mr. Light Mikami! Hahaha!
> 
> Anyway, review and comment! :D


	29. Prison

L squatted on the cold metal bench, the soles of his feet pressed against the dull corners, wishing he could just stab himself through the heart and get it over with. If only he had a knife, or a pen, or anything with an edge, he would happily take the opportunity.

And things were fucked up enough already without having those flashes of Light’s heartbroken face behind his eyes. _What gives him the right to be heartbroken? He’s the one who betrayed me!_ I _should be heartbroken…_

_I am heartbroken, aren’t I? This is what pain feels like. For twenty-five years I’ve escaped this feeling by being emotionless. When I lost Light the first time, it was a dull pain because there was always hope of getting him back._

_This, though._

_This pain, it is torture. Knowing I can never get him back, knowing I’m going to die without ever seeing his face again, it is torture of the worst degree and nothing Shingata can do will ever surpass it. They could put a chip in my brain, saw my legs off, beat me to death, and I wouldn’t care._

L knew Mello was upset with him, and for good reason. He was supposed to be figuring out a plan, being the greatest detective in the world. He was supposed to be working…but it was so hard to when there was nothing left to work for.

Mello groaned, kicking the wall with his bound feet. “This is bullshit! How could Matt just drive away without us?”

“It was protocol.” L sighed. “If he hadn’t left he would have been caught.”

“But still! He left me!” The blonde growled. “He just left me like that! How could he do that?”

L’s lips quirked up.

Mello rolled his eyes. “Don’t make that face, L. God. He’s going to come back for us.”

“Is he now?” L leaned back against the wall, hopelessly tired of it all. “I don’t think he is, Mello. We’re in the headquarters of the Shingatese Police Agency. It would be horribly foolish of anybody to try to help us now.”

* * *

The thing that was distracting Light the most, as if he had any leeway to be distracted at this point, were his goddamn memories.

His goddamn sunken memories which were popping up at every second, melding with the present. Was this what schizophrenia felt like? With every step he took, he felt himself call upon another time. His shoes painted themselves with leather, his shoulders earned themselves a black jacket and the ring on his finger disappeared.

Had he done this before? Break someone out of prison? He wasn’t able to grasp the memories, it slipped from his fingers like it was coated in butter but his every step through his black-and-grey wasteland felt like they had been taken before.

“Mr. Mikami. Please, this way.” The guard said politely, gesturing towards a hallway lined with more and more cells. Shingata and its prisoners, every cell was full. Most of the people in the cells weren’t even particularly dangerous. They were in for petty crimes, pissing off nobles and being at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a well known fact, but Shingata just didn’t have the time or money to sort through them before they stuck all the offenders in here.

Light remembered that burning drive he felt to change this society. It never really left him, and the detective L was his way to it. That was why he was rescuing L, not because of some idiotic crush gone wrong but to get himself the power to change Shingata, his homeland. The Detective L was a great man, a powerful man outside of here. Once he reclaimed his position, he would be all that and more, and Light would carve himself a throne.

 “It’s Yagami, sir. My name is Yagami Raito.” When he did what he was going to do, he wanted them to know his name.

The prison guard looked back at him knowingly, as if he knew anything about the situation. “Mr. Yagami, then. We are nearly there, prepare yourself.”

And Light did, his finger pressing the call button of his phone, signalling the Matsuda that it was time for him to pop out and do the dirty work for him.

* * *

“Are you sure you don’t want to see Beyond Birthday before I neutralise him?” Matsuda looked ridiculous, disguising his face with a gas mask though he had used his police ID to enter in the first place. There was no going back for him, Light knew. He was sacrificing his job for L, but Light always knew he would do it. The Matsuda types didn’t have ambition, they had loyalty. It was why L chose him in the first place.

Light shook his head. He had nothing to say to Beyond Birthday. Matsuda would give him an overdose of morphine and get out of there pronto. There would be a minor investigation, but nothing major since Beyond was basically useless at this point, delirious from the torture. Light didn’t have anything to say to the murderer except that it was ironical that BB’s death was through painkillers, after all the suffering he caused his victims.

No, Light had bigger things to look forward to than gloating to a maniacal killer. He had his throne to carve, a detective to rescue. He had to save Shingata from itself and the rotten people within it.

His throne, carved through L’s legacy.

“No, Matsuda, you carry on. And give me your map, these corridors are confusing.”

* * *

Mihael Keehl had been through a whole lot at L’s side.

He was his right-hand man, after all. He was the man of action, the one L always picked to do the interesting bits. The mafia mole, the anarchist (he was more interesting than Near, at least).

But this was getting to a whole new level of bullshit.

Matt. Matt left him here, knowing all too well that he wasn’t going to be able to rescue himself. Matt, that pathetic yellow-bellied coward.

He looked over at L, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling with those blank black eyes that conveyed nothing to anyone but were so easy to read at the same time. He was thinking of another coward, of a certain auburn-haired Shingatese teenager who had been one of the most honourable and resolute people Mello had ever known. Light’s betrayal hadn’t just hit L. Light had saved Mello’s life, for God’s sake, and he was loved by everyone Mello loved.

Matt had been hit hard too, he had lost his best friend (not counting Mello, of course). Maybe that was why he had left. He was just too sensitive right now to man up and rescue him.

Mello groaned. He hated mulling over this. What was the point of doing that anyway? He was just going to obsess over and over about his impending doom. If only he had something to distract himself with, but there was nothing in here but a catatonic detective and a fucking metal bench he could sit on.

He was about to try to talk to L anyway when he noticed a movement outside the cell. Somebody walking this way, dressed all in black so they blended with the shadows. Mello watched with sharp eyes as the figure looked over the device in his hands, the flatness of which indicated that it was a GPS or a map, over and over until he was satisfied, finally moving towards the guard that stood in front of the blonde’s cell.

It was a spark of excitement in his stomach. So they had a mysterious visitor, did they? The youth stood up, running a hand through his golden hair before sauntering towards the bars separating him from the real world. He winked at the stranger, whose face he could not see. “You picked us, eh? I’m flattered.”

He couldn’t see his face, but maybe if Mihael Keehl had been paying closer attention to the other inhabitant of his cell, maybe if he had seen how L sat up with alarm in his eyes, how the blood drained from his face and his mouth dropped open, he wouldn’t have yelped and fallen cursing backwards in shock when the stranger suddenly threw himself at the guard and jabbed a needle into his neck.

Mello was on his ass, staring at the black-clothed stranger whose mouth was covered by the rim of his one-size-too-large turtleneck and distinctive hair tucked into a black beanie. The man counted steps on his fingers, whispering it quietly to himself. “Paralytic, check. Beyond, check. Cell 1032. Mikami’s distraction, check. What have I forgotten?”

L was shivering, he saw. He was visibly shivering, as if a ghost had passed through him or a vampire sucked out all his blood, but his face was made of stone.

The stranger made a soft noise of dismay, slapping his forehead. “Fuck, the prison escort. The chloroform would have run out by now.”

L gulped, beside him, and he knew there were words the detective wanted to say, exclamations he wanted to make, but nothing came out.

Finally, the stranger turned his amber gaze towards them, and he felt his friend stiffen.

“We don’t have long, so we don’t have time for explanations. Come with me.” He said in his soft voice, and gloved hands rested on the lock of their cell, deft fingers entering the code while those familiar eyes stayed fixed on L as if looking away would let him vanish into thin air.

L finally moved to utter a word in a whisper too soft to hear without looking at him.

"Yagami Raito."

And there was a flash of a cheeky smile on the stranger's lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been quite a while, hasn't it? Well, I'm sorry for the delay XD I've been in a bit of a depressive funk, but good grades helped me snap out of it so here you go! Hope it was worth the wait! 
> 
> Review and comment, please! I'd love the motivation!


	30. Break

Watari had been calling Matsuda for two days straight.

At this point, the lack of an answer could mean one of two things. One, that Matsuda was already knee-deep in some overambitious rescue operation. Or two, he was removed from the police force because his connections to L had been found out.

Both ways were terrible ways to go. Matsuda was going to screw everything up, and Watari wasn’t sure he could fix things once they went too far.

Watari _had_ to fix things though. L was his child, his son, the object of his life’s work. The Detective L was the world’s greatest treasure. He had to save him, and he would do anything to do it.

Anything, even breaking L’s principles, and there was the fragment of a plan in his head.

“Amane Misa.” He said, and the blond woman’s head perked up. She gave him a tentative smile.

“Yes, Watari-san?”

_Was it worth it, entrusting the future of the world into the hands of this simpleton?_

“Watari?” Matt spoke up, mildly puzzled.

It wasn’t a plan, merely the fragments of one, but they needed something, anything. They needed to find L before Shingata did something irreversible to one of the greatest minds of the century.

“Amane Misa, we will need your expertise here.”

Brute force. It was the wisest way for a man with no options.

Misa, to her credit, understood what he meant the instant he said it. Her eyes darkened, but she had been different ever since they had left Yagami Raito back in the orphanage. She had a dark sort of anger boiling under her skin.

“Misa’s expertise.” She whispered to herself, and Watari nodded.

“Yes, Amane Misa.” He said. “We will need anarchy.”

* * *

“So these are your weapons, then?”

It was embarrassing to admit that L couldn’t get enough of this. Light Yagami was a pampered, privileged little brat, which meant that every time he accompanied him on supply runs, it was like taking a tourist out to see the sights. It was entertaining to see him around the suppliers, standing stiff with his chin raised high at L’s shoulder as if he was somebody you didn’t want to mess with…and it was entertaining seeing him now as they sat in the back together to inspect the goods as Watari drove to headquarters.

“Not just weapons, Raito-kun.” L smiled, pulling out a couple of bottles from one of the cardboard cartons. “We have a lot of things that are essential to rescuing BB and getting out of here. Guns, obviously, to make sure nobody screws us over, but also things like this.” He stuck a syringe into the bottle and sucked in the clear liquid inside. “It’s like chloroform, but it lasts a lot longer.”

Raito grinned, his eyebrows rising up as he sat cross-legged, watching him intently with those sharp caramel eyes. “Chloroform? So you’re a kidnapper too?”

L shrugged. “If it comes to that. It would draw too much attention to us, though, so I try to steer clear of it. We generally use it when there’s security outside where we need to be.” And something came over L. Maybe it was the undiluted interest this young man was showing in him, maybe it was the crafty amusement gleaming in his eyes, or maybe it was just Raito-kun’s presence that made him more expressive than he had ever been before.

L got to his feet, shuffling behind the teenager with the syringe in hand, squatting at his back. He could smell him, here, that sweet fresh sophisticated scent that was just so Light. He leaned in close so his words brushed the shell of his ear. “You just come up behind them and…” He raised the tip of the syringe so it touched the exposed skin of the brunet’s neck. “…and you stick it into their jugular vein.”

Light shivered, and L had the pressing urge to kiss the skin he was pushing the needle gently onto. There was a beat before the spell was broken, before L lowered the syringe and Light turned his head with that sardonic grin. A beat when goosebumps rose on both of them.

“That’s…actually cool, L.” Light smiled as he looked at him with those perceptive eyes. “Maybe you could show me how to use weapons. I’m not very good, as you know.”

He knew. He knew of L’s attraction to him, but whether Light loved him back was anybody’s guess. The boy was a natural liar, and he was brilliant at it. Not even L could figure him out entirely, not that he would stop trying. Light wasn’t changeable, he just never revealed where his loyalties lie.

But they had been together for two months now, two months of constant connection and L had enough faith in himself to be pretty sure.

“Of course I will, Raito-kun. After all, you’re part of the team.”

* * *

“L! L let him go! _Stop!”_

L felt Mello’s arms circle him and attempt to pull him off of the boy in front of him, but one crucial fact Mihael Keehl was forgetting was that L was trained in capoeira. There was no chance his poor, untrained successor was going to beat him anytime soon. With a swift kick, the blonde had fallen back on his rump and L turned all of his attention back on his target.

His long, white fingers curled around the soft wool of his turtleneck covering Light’s pale throat, keeping him locked in place. “Light Yagami.” He hissed, letting his English accent run rampant the way it did when he was truly enraged. “Not satisfied with the hell I’m going through? What more do you have in store for me, eh?”

The teenager tried to draw his hand back to punch him, but L anticipated it. After all, he knew him, much more intimately than vice versa. He slammed his hand into his, pinning the wrist against the wall. He wasn’t going to escape him again (wait, escape him? But this Light never escaped him, L left him behind…).

L’s wrath wavered, confused by his thoughts. What was he doing?

“Let me go, L.” Light muttered darkly, glaring viciously at him. _“Let me go_ , we don’t have enough time for this.”

“We don’t have time? What are we hurrying for? What’s your plan, Light?” The detective tightened his hold around Light’s neck again. “Get me caught escaping? Send me back here with the death penalty over my head?”

“Ungrateful, paranoid fuck.” Light wrenched his wrist from L’s grip and locked his hands around L’s, trying in vain to pull it down from his throat. “You can’t keep the moral high ground and choke me at the same time.”

L flinched. “I’m not choking you, I’m just…holding you in place.” And that really was what he was doing, holding Light there as if the minute he took his hands off of him, he would disappear like a spirit into the air as suddenly as he had appeared.

The brunet rolled his eyes. “Get off of me. You’ve got a lot more to lose than me if they find us.”

“Yes, obviously. I’m all too aware of that.” L’s words were soft, and he suddenly wanted more than anything to believe in this Light, to believe every word he was saying with full faith, the way Amane Misa would have. He wished he was Amane Misa. Life would have been so much simpler…

“L…” Light’s voice carried a warning. L found himself smiling.

“Yes, Raito-kun? Did you truly expect a happy welcoming?”

“No, but I didn’t expect you to _throw a tantrum._ What are you doing, L? How would this help you even if I have betrayed you? Just let go already!”

“No!” L said suddenly, desperately. “I will not! Not…not again! You need to pay for what you did, Raito-kun. You broke my heart!” It felt like a revelation of sorts. L was almost proud of himself for voicing it. “You broke me, Yagami Raito, and you can’t just get away with that!”

“L, for god’s sake. There’s a time and place. Let’s let you get revenge on me when it’s a convenient time, how about that? I’ll willingly submit. For now, though, I’m here to help you escape. You know you’re already scheduled for neurosurgery, and that’s as good as a death sentence. I can’t take you to a place worse than you’re already going to. I don’t need you to trust me. I need you to remember than you have a better chance of getting out of here with me than any other way.”

L closed his eyes. “You’re right. We could take you hostage, put a gun to your head and negotiate our way out if we get caught.”

“Yeah.” That cheeky smile appeared on Light’s lips again. “You can. I’ll let you. But let me go now.”

Trust. L didn’t trust him, but he did trust logic. Logic told him that Light had unlocked the cell for him, which meant that even if there was a trap, it would be a trap outdoors and L finally had the chance to act rather than sit around passively waiting for something to happen to him.

L released him. He released Light and the brunet slipped his fingers under the neck of his sweater to massage his skin. “You’re an asshole.” He observed. “But I’m not addressing that. Come with me _now_. I have sacrificed too much to have all this foiled because you’re a paranoid, distrusting shit who can’t follow basic instructions.” The brunet went over to Mello, offering his hand to help him up.

L narrowed his eyes. “I am not a paranoid-”

“Shut up, L.” Mello barked, taking Light’s hand and getting up. “Right now, we’re listening to Light, got it? We don’t care what his ulterior motives are right now, we’re going to think about that later.”

Light grinned, seconds away from all-out gloating. He pulled out his device, the map. “Don’t worry, it’s a short distance to the exit and I brought you two these.” He pulled off his backpack, into which he had stuffed the uniforms of two guards. He gave them a little smile. “There are two naked guards in an office nearby who must have the effect of their chloroform running out by now, so we really, _really_ need to hurry.”

The detective frowned, letting the plan click in place in his mind. “You expect us to escape through the doors? They won’t let us through, Raito-kun. Didn’t you go through a security check?”

Light smirked. “Wow, L. You think I’m a traitor _and_ an idiot? I’m flattered. Just come with me. If things go according to plan, it’ll be smooth sailing from here.”

“If things go according to plan?” Mello crossed his arms. “And what if it doesn’t?”

L sighed, he knew what was coming next.

Light smirked. “If it doesn’t, we always have Plan B.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! The next chapter MAY take a little longer, though of course I'll try my hardest to pump it out quick. Thanks for the motivation with your reviews last chapter though, it really helped me put the words in my head on the page!
> 
> Thank you! Review and comment! :D


	31. Break (Part 2)

Mikami Teru turned the wedding band round and round on his finger.

He had had a fiancé for the past year, but it never felt like he did. Not even now, now that he had talked to him in private and asked him, point-blank, if he wanted to marry him. 

Mikami knew that the engagement had not been Light’s idea. It was his family’s, of course it was, but he wanted the marriage to be their own. A ceremony that meant something: commitment, love. A celebration of what they felt for one another…but somewhere in his heart, he didn’t think Light felt the same way.

He turned it around again, the silver of the band flashing in the light. Insecurity, that’s all it was. After all, Yagami Raito was one hell of a catch, intelligent, beautiful, brave and strong. It was no wonder Mikami was insecure, he was lucky as hell to get him.

So that was all it was, wasn’t it? Insecurity? An irrational feeling, Light did feel the same way as him. How could he not? He had agreed to marry him.

But as Mikami Teru pulled the wedding band off of his finger to examine it closely, every gem in the silver gleaming like Light’s eyes had when he had proposed. When Mikami had pinned him to the bed and forced the question upon him as brashly as possible. Mikami knew he would have rejected him if he had asked it any more indirectly. 

And Light’s eyes had gleamed, like he was going to cry.

_ How had he fucked this up so badly? Could he even fix this? _

The doctor jammed the ring back into his finger viciously, angry with himself and the world. Of course this was fixable. There was no alternative. He had nobody else in this world. His mother was dead, his father didn’t give a shit about him and his siblings had all fled Shingata with the rest of the traitors who couldn’t sit through another anarchist purge. Light was not getting away from him too.

His eyes wandered the walls of the lounge of the Police headquarters, fixing upon the TV program being broadcast on the flat-screen in the corner. Another news report of a former anarchist in an asylum going insane and killing four guards before escaping into the unknown, an inmate known as Nate River. Nate had previously tried to escape a couple days ago with the aid of two other anarchists currently in custody, a Ryuuzaki Rue and Mihael Keehl.

Their faces flashed onto the screen, the top-right of the screen and Mikami frowned, leaning in closer. Hmm…hadn’t they been watching this very news, just before he had proposed? Before Light had asked to visit Beyond Birthday and started to offer sexual favours in return?

His mind recoiled from such a vulgar description of what Light had been doing, but it was true. That was what Light had offered, with those deliberately flirty gestures that were unnatural on him, and while Mikami had wanted to ignore how unnatural they actually were just so that he could enjoy them he knew he couldn’t reject the truth.

But why would Light do that? Why did he want to visit Beyond Birthday so badly? Closure was certainly a valid reason, but why was he so desperate? If he was telling the truth, he would have talked to him calmly about it, explained everything, not manipulate him…

The faces of Nate River’s two accomplices flashed onto screen for another split second, and it struck him.

That second man, the one with the black hair, he looked exactly like Beyond Birthday. A raggedy, tinier version with black eyes instead of red…and he was being held in this very building.

Mikami had known there was something different in Light’s eyes ever since they rescued him. The Light who had clawed at him and told him he would never forget what he had done, he had been coherent, and he had been speaking to his fiancé Mikami Teru, not the kidnappers.

This man, Ryuuzaki Rue, he was going to escape this place, and he was going to take Yagami Raito with him.

Mikami had nobody else but Light. Light wanted to marry him. Light Yagami without his memories loved him like nobody else in his entire life, and hell would freeze over before Mikami let him go this easily.

He got to his feet, throwing the magazine on his lap back on the coffee table.

When he had got Light back the second time and sat there for hours and hours at his bedside, waiting for him to wake up, Mikami Teru had made a promise to himself. The anarchists would never have Light again.

Like hell was he breaking that promise.

* * *

“This way. We take two more rights and we get to the stairwell. On the second floor there’s a landing that leads outside to the observatory tower. We get out there and we can escape through the north exit. Matsuda’s pretty sure there won’t be many guards in this route, Shingata is understaffed after all, but you can have these anyway.”

Light shrugged off his backpack, pulling out a handful of supplies. “Gun, police-issue, Matsuda helped me get these, handcuffs and…” He locked eyes with L, whose eyes were still wide and ringed with shadows as if he had just gotten up from a coma. “Syringe with a sedative. Don’t press it.”

L took the syringe and examined it between his fingers. His dark eyes lifted up to meet his. “You knocked out that guard.” The question hung unasked, but it sent a wave of boiling anger in his veins. Of course this pig-headed idiot didn’t believe him even now. Of course he still thought he didn’t have his memories.

_ You broke me, Yagami Raito. _

Light gave him a tight smile. “I learnt from the best.” He watched L’s eyes narrow with suspicion at his words, and he wished he could just  _ shake _ him, but they didn’t have time for that now. He handed the supplies to the two of them, sticking his own handcuffs and gun into the belt of his trousers, the capped syringe going in his pocket.

Mello, for one, seemed a lot more open-minded than L, though Light wasn’t sure if he actually believed he was on their team again or was just rolling with it until they escaped. “Come on then. Lead the way, Yagami.”

Light nodded, sticking to the walls as he sneaked to the nearest corner. Two more rights, he slipped down the corridors as quickly as he could, keeping one eye on the prisoners he was breaking out, obviously mistreated during their short stay in prison. L was walking with a slight limp, though he was doing a good job of hiding it, and Mello kept one hand on his stomach as he followed.

He had expected it. He had expected all of this, L’s anger, their weakness, any possible injuries…but for some reason, it hurt a lot more to see it in person.

A hand fell on Light’s shoulder. L’s dark eyes looked at him with their sharp, all-seeing gaze. “What did you see?”

Light looked forward. No guards in sight, yet. Matsuda was a reliable source after all. “Nothing. Come on.”

L frowned at him. “Then why did you stop?”

The brunet shook his head, his cheeks burning.  _ Distracted _ . He hadn’t been distracted breaking in! This was all L’s fault. “Nothing. Sorry. Let’s go.”

And once again, that was suspicion in the dark-haired man’s features, and if they weren’t in the headquarters of the Shingatese Police Agency, Light would have socked him across the face.

They took the two rights, coming upon the stairwell. The brunet peeked into it, making sure nobody was hanging around. “It seems all-”

He heard a jingling in the stairwell. An officer of the law, a decked-up man in full uniform, the same official clothing his father wore for important meetings, was climbing up, stopping by the miniscule window to pull out a pack of cigarettes and light one.

Light whirled back, covering his mouth with his hand. He shook his head at L and Mello. There was no way to sneak past him. He was an officer, and a well-built one at that. He didn’t know if he could sedate him, much less subdue him in any other way that involved brute force. But the gun…murdering an officer…

L leaned over him to glance inside, a small smirk appearing on his pale lips. “I see. None of us are strong enough. Teamwork.”

Alarm bubbled in his belly. “H-he’s an officer…”  _ like his father. He was as important and strong as Yagami Soichiro, they couldn’t mess with his father. _

To his surprise, he felt a cool hand cup his face for a fraction of a second before it was hastily pulled away. “It’ll be fine. Stay here. Mello, come.”

Mello went, sneaking into the stairwell and sticking to the walls as they climbed quietly down. The officer had his head bent as he lit the cigarette, not noticing the inmates walking towards him. Light watched apprehensively, feeling a knot form in his stomach. His father…the last time he had disrespected his father had been the day his life had been ruined…

L and Mello fell upon the man, quickly tripping him and holding him down as they plunged a trigger into his neck. Light sighed with relief. “Well, that’s over-”

“Takada-san, where are you-?” Another man’s voice floated up the stairs.

Silence.

It was fear that had frozen him and it was fear that now sent Light’s heels thudding against the ground as he grabbed the second man and shoved him against the wall, his hand clamped over his face as he flicked the cap of the syringe off. He felt a tearing pain on his palm as he stuck the needle in, pushing down the pump and waiting for the man he was holding down to fall to his knees unconscious.

The brunet ripped his hand from the man’s face, staring at it blankly. “He bit me.” L zipped to him, grabbing the palm and wiping away the blood that was flowing down in streaks with the sleeve of his prison guard disguise. “Ow.” Light tried to pull it away but L persisted.

“Shh.” With a quick jerk, L ripped the offending sleeve off and tied it around the wound, though it hardly mattered much with the thinness of the material. The detective gave him a look dripping with concern, forgetting to keep himself emotionless.

But as much as Light wanted to enjoy the moment, they had to leave before any more guards came. “Come on, L, downstairs. Second floor-”

Mello put a hand out to stop him. “Wait.” He cocked his head, and his blue eyes widened. “Fuck. Do you hear that?”

Light raised his eyebrows. “Uh…no-”

In reply, a sudden earth-shaking boom rocked the building. The brunet grabbed L’s arm, keeping himself steady. “What the fuck?”

Another boom, and this one felt closer. L put his arms around Light, grabbing the railing and pushing both of them against the wall. “Anarchists.” L spat. “Of course they strike today. We must hurry-”

But there was no time to hurry, because within moments of the word escaping his mouth, a third blast shook the walls and the floor caved in below them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Setup chapter! The climax is really really close, wow, I can't wait!
> 
> Thanks again for the motivation! You guys are getting me writing every night, it's so much fun <3
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	32. Dust

The dust settled.

There was a ringing in his ears, but Light didn’t mind. The dust swirled softly in front of his face, fine and golden brown in the sun, the beams of sunlight that shone over his face like gentle, warm spotlights. Light felt deprived of the sun. He had spent so much time indoors, so much time inside his own head that the sun felt like a relic of his childhood. His simple childhood, with Sayu and his mother playing in the mud with him, his father returning from work with stories of the criminals he put away.

Light lifted his hand to stir the dust in the air, watch it float about in the stillness, drifting down to rest on the ground. His ears rang with a pleasant hum, it made his head foggy but when he let it all go to think about the dust, the headache that throbbed behind his temples slowly dissipated. Nothing was clear, but at least the dust was beautiful.

The buzzing in his ears let something else into it, a variation that sounded like a word, a noun and an adjective. _Light_ , like the sunlight that lit up the his hand now, turning it from pale to a silky golden. Light, like the moon his mother said he was named after, with its silvery halo in the night sky. The moon, Tsuki but also Raito, his mother showed him how to write his name in the sand with her finger, a bright smile on her face he had seen dimming all his life.

Light, Raito, his name.

He felt his shoulders wrenched back, he drooped back in someone else’s arms as he was shaken like a ragdoll. “Light! Raito! Raito-kun!” Light blinked as the surroundings rose and dipped, his neck straining as his head fell back helplessly. “Raito-kun, please! _Please!”_ Another bout of being shaken by the hands gripping his shoulders and the brunet was starting to feel a bit sick.

“Stop…” The word bubbled past his lips and the hands immediately froze, quickly shifting to support him under the skull, snaking around his waist and holding his back. Light leaned into them, they were so wonderfully cold.

“Raito-kun…” The hands sat him up, supported against something flat and rough, and they ran through his hair. Light smiled slightly, it was soothing to feel that coolness over his scalp. He wanted them to touch every inch of his skin, it just felt so right.

“You’re hurt.” The words were soft as a secret, and there was the sound of cloth ripping before he felt something rough being wrapped around his head. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you checked up by Watari the minute we get out of here. It’s an anarchist attack, probably to break out prisoners, so they’ll help us. I’ll negotiate with them, I’ll get us out of here. I’ll get us safe, Light, do you hear me? Raito-kun?”

Light opened his eyes and looked at the person in front of him. Very pale, sitting like a frog in a squat, his thick black hair sticking up every which way as he fixed him with gleaming black eyes ringed with circles, biting furiously on his thumb, wearing the uniform of a prison guard.

A smile curved his lips, sardonic and faintly amused. “L Lawliet.”

“Light Yagami.” The man whispered back, eyes wide and uncharacteristically disoriented. “Are you alright?”

Light appraised himself. His head did throb absently, but so far he didn’t feel much. “I’ll live, I suppose.”

L smiled slightly. “Thank God.” He looked him over again, as if making sure he was there. “You…scared me for a bit there. You were so still...”

The brunet studied his face. It was so genuine, there was hardly a shade of his usual schooled expression on there. He had really been afraid. It sent a wave of unwanted warmth to his chest, and he shook his head dismissively. “I’m fine. I’m absolutely fine. Where are we?”

“We’re buried under the stairwell. We got lucky, we had been close to the doorway so an arch fell the right way and shielded us from a majority of the debris. We should be able to dig ourselves out of here relatively easily. You have a head wound, but it’s minor so you should be fine. Mello isn’t with us, but he was closer to the door than we were so hopefully he’s safe.”

Light laughed, using the support of nearby rubble to get to his knees, his hair brushing the top of the arch that had apparently saved their lives. “Me and my head wounds. I’m glad I didn’t get amnesia this time.”

They were sitting a bit too close in the claustrophobia of their bubble of rock and dust, so Light could see L’s change in expression with full clarity at the word _amnesia_. The morphing from worry and relief to breathtaking pain and then careful blankness, it made him grit his teeth.

L’s voice was clipped and formal. “We will have to help each other now, Light, if we’re going to get out of here. I see possible escape routes-”

“It’s Raito-kun.” Light muttered. L blinked at him, startled.

“Sorry?”

“That’s what you call me. You call me Raito-kun. Not Light. _Raito-kun.”_

The detective turned scarlet, his line of sight dipping to the ground. He nibbled on his thumbnail. “I…alright. I am sorry if I offended your sensibilities. I am English, so I may slip-”

“Shut _up.”_ He snapped suddenly, and the pale man jumped in his place. “Fuck you, don’t you act like you have no idea what I mean. I am your Raito-kun, Lawliet, I’m the same person!”

L raised his chin obstinately. “We have bigger things to worry about, we are currently under several pounds of rubble in a delicate situation-”

“Don’t change the subject!” He hissed. “How are you this stupid? Why would I come rescue you if I betrayed you? I thought you’d understand when I came to save you, but you’re just so bloody stubborn. You were wrong, you fool! You were wrong about me!”

L glared silently at him until he finished, his hands curling into fists. His expression was clean as a slate, but his dark eyes reflected his anger. “If you’re done, Light-”

It ached. Light had thought he had gotten over it, he had steeled himself against it! He knew L wouldn’t have magically realised he wasn’t the traitor, and he had also accepted that he was a childish, stubborn idiot. Light had never deluded himself, he knew he had to be stronger than this. He was Light Yagami. Feelings did not govern him.

Which was why he hated himself when his voice came out as a croak, breaking in the middle of his sentence. “Beyond Birthday did it, L. He’s the traitor, not me.”

L sighed deeply, impatiently. “Do you want to be buried under debris and run out of air? It’s not as stable as you think.”

Light closed his eyes and bit his lip. “He’s imprisoned in this very prison. Matsuda…Matsuda could tell you-” He cut himself off. Fuck, he couldn’t go and tell L that he had had Matsuda kill BB, even if it was for their own good. He couldn’t do that…at least not now, while he was viewed as an enemy.

L sighed again. “Please stop.”

“Why don’t you believe me? I didn’t do it, L, I didn’t, I swear. I…” He felt so pathetic. He was discarded, he was useless. L was looking at him like he was a stranger, and a particularly annoying one too.

The detective turned around, crawling to a nearby air-hole. “We can easily dig ourselves a way out of here. If the guards catch up, we’re in good disguises and they likely won’t check our ID’s immediately so we can slip away.”

Something changed inside him, making him fall back against the rubble behind him. His nose tingled, like he was about to cry, but he felt too exhausted, too worthless to.

Why was he doing this?

Was it really to change Shingata?

It wasn’t, was it? Somewhere inside, he knew it wasn’t. It was L. He had rescued L to rescue L, nothing more. All those ulterior motives he had crafted, it was all bullshit. Changing Shingata was a secondary goal, it always had been. Light was selfish, and everything he did was for himself. When he had escaped a year ago, the event that had triggered all of this, it had been for freedom, not to break societal norms or bring change. And it was the same now. He was doing this for love, nothing more.

Except, that love was beyond his reach, so there was never any point of doing this at all.

He watched L work on the rubble surrounding his chosen hole, trying not to disrupt the balance of the archway holding them up…and he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Alright, he might never get L back, but that wasn’t so bad, was it? At least L had a chance to leave, a chance to escape the torture, asylums and madness that peppered Shingata to its very core. Even if Light never joined him there, at least he would get freedom.

So it was worth it.

Light smiled. “Blue.”

The detective flinched, stiffening with his hand around a rock he was moving out of the way. “Excuse me?”

“Your favourite colour. Blue.” He laughed softly. “You’re from Winchester, England. You can speak thirteen languages fluently. Your favourite ice-cream flavour is strawberry. You can bend your thumb all the way back to touch your wrist. You keep a diary, but you write in lists as if giving order to all the thoughts in your head. You are selfish and stubborn and arrogant. You are selfless and kind and the purest person I know.” He looked down at his lap, feeling the tears sting his eyes as they rolled down his cheeks. “And my memories of you are fractured, but I have never been loved like I have been by you.”

There was a silence.

The shame caught up to Light as a lump in his throat, _what a fool he was making of himself_ , and he buried his face in his hands. Emotion, fucking emotion, why was he so weak?

Why couldn’t he just suck it up and keep his dignity? He was doing so well. L was probably going to let him come along to England. He could have escaped Shingata, had a fresh start, done something for himself for once. But no, he had to mess it up and look at him crying, crying like a child, like a weakling, why, why, why-

“Raito-kun.”

Light lifted his head to see L staring at him as if he had just electrocuted him, with his lips parted and eyes bulging. He looked like he had just seen a ghost, it was enough to bring the faintest of smiles to Light’s face before the shame drowned it out.

“Yeah, L?” He could put on a brave face. Light swiped away the tears, giving him a shaky smile. “I’ll help you with the hole. I’m sorry for making you do it all on your own.”

“Raito-kun…” He whispered again, his eyes still wide. Light could see his reflection in that pitch blackness. “Raito-kun, I didn’t-”

There was a loud beeping outside, and L’s head whipped towards the air-hole. A three beep signal, it was in a particular pattern that L seemed to recognise.

Light got up, crawling next to L to look outside into the sunlight. “What is it?”

“Whammy, this is Whammy’s signal.”

Light blinked. “Watari.”

“Y-yes, Watari.” L stammered. “He’s here. He’s looking for us. W-was it him, behind the anarchist attack?”

Light looked into L’s eyes one more time, and smirked.

“Well, guess we should find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, and we finally have the confrontation! I wrote this all so super quickly, it just flowed out!
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


	33. Anarchy

Misa Amane was, for the first time in months, giggling her heart out. Her heart sang, it was like something out of a dream. It felt like drinking after a year of sobriety, the buzz of a high she knew in her heart was wrong but felt so, so right.

Bombs. Bombs everywhere. She was laughing as she pressed the third trigger and watched yet another tower tumble down. Her purple-haired anarchist friend stood beside her, giving her an amused glance and smoking a cigarette coolly. Misa looked at her, _Rem_ , Watari’s contact from the depths of the anarchist world who supplied them with the best bombs and brought together the several anarchist factions to launch a full strength coordinated attack on the Shingatese Police Headquarters.

She was an impressive woman, to be sure, but Misa couldn’t help but feel like using her for her own ends. She just gave of an air of...being attarcted to her. “Rem-san, does Misa signal Watari yet? The one she just blew up was the tower next to L-san’s cell, right?”

“I shall check.” The larger woman took out her cellphone and checked the blueprints the anarchists had collected. Misa was impressed at how productive the anarchists could be when working together. Maybe it could be like this all the time! Maybe they could form the Anarchist Army and rebel against the government together! Chop off some heads! It would be the turning of a civilisation!

Rem nodded. “Agreed. Signal the old man.”

Misa cleared her throat. They were hiding in the shrubbery, not very close to Watari’s stealth team, so she would have to be loud. _“Watari-saaaaaaaan!”_

“You idiot!” Rem yelped. “What are you doing? Our cover will be blown!”

Misa blinked up at her. “Misa was signalling Watari-san.”

Rem groaned. “I. Have. A. _Phone_ , Misa-san.”

Misa coloured. She had gotten so used to not having a phone ever since the Great Phone Incident when L had confiscated it for life that shouting was autopilot. “Sorry!”

Luckily, there were no guards to hear her around them. They were all busy tending to the other explosions and fending off the combined attack of the Anarchist Army. Misa was in the clear, for now. She would have to be a lot more careful. And Watari had heard her too, the anarchists in black stealth suits tromping down into the ruins of the tower they had just collapsed.

Misa looked over at Rem, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry, Rem-san.”

* * *

L wanted to kiss him.

Fuck it, he had made a big mess out of this, hadn’t he? Light really did remember, he had left his own Light in Mikami’s hands for days, and…and there was a _wedding ring_ on his finger.

Not that L had any right to ask about that. Not after what he had done.

To think, Beyond Birthday, his trained, devoted successor had betrayed him rather than this noble-born Shingatese boy who had no real reason for loyalty apart from love. And to think he had discarded this boy without second thought the minute things smelled fishy.

He had no right to want to kiss him, but oh God he did.

Light poked his head out of the hole, leaning his slim body carefully onto the rubble. His voice was quieter than it had been before, with a slight twang of contempt that slipped it when he wasn’t noticing. Kira’s voice, but softened.

“I can see them.”

“Who?” L asked, touching his shoulder lightly to glance out as well. The brunet gave him room, moving some rocks carefully to make their hole bigger.

“The anarchists. I can tell, those aren’t prison uniforms or an assault team. They’re anarchists for sure, they’re entering the building.”

L felt laughter bubble in his throat. “Watari brought anarchists.”

Light gave him a strange look, shaking his head. “We should be trying to attract them here.”

“Of course.” Quickly, L screamed out three yells in a row, two high-pitched and one low. “Do that, shout with me. This is Watari’s code. Make sure he hears it.”

Light gaped, his cheeks turning pink. “This is ridiculous. You sound like an _ambulance_. And they can’t possibly hear us over the wind!”

“I don’t hear any other ideas, Raito-kun.” Smugly, L busied himself shouting as hard as he could. Light watched him for a while, mortified.

“This is…so fucking silly.” He muttered before he took a deep breath and joined in. A smile carved its way onto L’s face as they yelled in synchrony.

Soon enough, they were so loud they were afraid the roof would cave in. Light stopped first, holding his throat. “This is useless.” He croaked. “This is useless and I look so idiotic.”

“Why do you care how you look, Raito-kun?” L finally asked hoarsely. “Do you have to be captured in style or what?”

“Yeah!” Light protested. “Yeah, if I’m ever captured I’d like to look good for it, okay? Not like a fucking retard.”

“How superficial of you. This is an effective strategy.” L gave him a disdainful look. Light laughed loudly.

“Effective my ass, it hasn’t worked!”

L narrowed his eyes, ready to throw another barb, but he didn’t have to.

“Don’t be too sure about that.”

Both of them looked back towards their little window to see a blond bob looking in, blue eyes shining over his khaki prison guard uniform. Mello grinned. “Privacy time is over, bitches. I’m here to save your fucking lives.”

* * *

Gunfire rang out through the grounds of the Shingatese Police Agency.

Watari had finally let loose.

“This way, men! Fire! Fire!”

The Anarchist Army, as Misa had started calling it, was a force to be reckoned with, especially since they had been preparing for this for a long, long time. Watari and L had never been anarchists by choice, but a large section of Shingata was. Watari’s plea to Rem, the leader of one of the main anarchist cliques, was only a spark on a ready pile of dry wood. Bombs, the army, the quick alliances and friendships that had formed within days, it was all so swift and efficient that the old man had wondered whether some of them belonged in Whammy’s House.

“Fiiiire!” Watari screamed, and the machine gun in his hands whirred alive, shooting its rounds into the guards who had assembled before them. The Shingatese Police Agency was trying their hardest to quell their mini-rebellion to an extent until backup arrived. The anarchists were doing very well, at this point, and the main point was, they were keeping the guards off of the south wing, where L was imprisoned.

He hoped Misa wouldn’t play the idiot. Rem was there to watch over her, possibly keep her from making fatal mistakes. Hopefully, hopefully, L would come out alive. He had to, the future of Whammy’s House depended on him. Watari depended on him.

Because no matter how detached their relationship was, L was still his son.

“Fire! You fucking cowards!”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The ground quaked under Mikami’s shoes, and he knew exactly what was going on.

The guard he had threatened into showing him the cell of the vandal Ryuuzaki knew it as well, ducking his head and yelping. “We should go back!”

Mikami scoffed, his hand tight around the handgun in his jacket. “Just keep moving.”

“Sir! Those were bombs! This isn’t safe.”

Anarchists. The plague would never end, with their bombs and destruction. Despicable creatures, he wished he could press them all onto his table and dissect them one by one.

And to think Raito wanted to be one of them. Disgust curled in his throat. Raito, the perfect, pure Raito he had created on his operating table had been corrupted by them. He had been infected by them, but if there was one thing Mikami was, it was a doctor. He would cure this infection if it was the last thing he ever did.

He would get his Raito back, there was no doubt about it.

After all, he knew where his traitorous bastard of a fiancé was at this very moment.


	34. Run

Light held out his hand, waiting for L to grab it and climb out of the cave that looked minutes away from collapsing onto itself. Beside him, Mello was standing smugly, his left arm covered in scratches.

L clambered out, catching Light’s sleeve and holding onto it like a child. The brunet didn’t look at him, embarrassment was catching up with him. Luckily enough, L didn’t stay long, stepping discreetly away from him and releasing the sleeve quietly.

The awkwardness had bled into the air between them. What was the next move, now? He knew, they both knew they knew. How…would they fix this? Would they just go back to the way they used to be, before the misunderstanding?

Light really, really wanted that. He knew more than anything else that he was in love with L Lawliet. He wanted to be with him. He wanted to go to England with him. He wanted to live with him, his lover, the man from his dream.

He was already remembering so much. Ever since the hospital, he had been just knowing things on instinct. He was aware of so many little things about L now. The way he nibbled his thumb mostly on the right, clipped his toenails every alternate Sunday, how he sometimes wore his hair in ponytails on good days. He wanted to see L wear those ponytails somewhere outside his dull, unreliable memories. He wanted to go with L to the place he grew up, he wanted to live with him.

Would L love him too, now that he knew? Did he have a chance?

Mello stood up straight once L was out, puffing out his chest. “Since I basically saved your lives, I think I deserve a boost in the rankings when we get back home, L.”

L raised his eyebrows. “Are we already planning for when we get home? We’re in the Shingatese Police Headquarters, we haven’t even seen Watari yet.”

The blonde grinned wide. “That’s because he’s causing the distraction. Matt sent in a team to get you in your cell. You see? Matt came for us after all! He didn’t abandon us!”

Light felt an ironical smirk curl on his face. _Well, he sure took his own sweet time with it. I’m clearly the better boyfriend_. Surprisingly, as if he had said the thought aloud, L’s hand slipped back into his, smooth and slim, long fingers curling around his palm before withdrawing and letting go.

L’s voice was clear and sharp, all of a sudden, the commanding voice he had heard so many times during the duration of his kidnapping. “We must find Watari. After a stunt like this, we have no option but to get out of the country as soon as we can. They will hunt us down and kill us all.”

Mello scrunched up his nose. “You’re such a downer. He tried to rescue us, at least give him credit.”

“I cannot. The costs of this rescue are extreme. If we had proceeded with Raito-kun’s plan, we could have escaped without resorting to drastic methods. Watari made a miscalculation.”

The blond teenager widened his eyes. “How was Watari supposed to know Traitor-san here was going to make an about turn and help us? Besides, Light’s plan was probably a trap anyway! We only went along with it because we had no choice. He’s a _traitor_ , remember?”

Light shook off the sting of the words, a grin growing on his face as he waited for L to back him up. L, who he had shown the truth, who finally believed in him. He would have proof of it, he would show that Light was finally his Light again, in his head.

But…the detective was scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, shooting a look at Light’s form before dipping the line of his gaze to the ground. The brunet’s smile slowly slipped away, feeling the ache of foreboding in his chest.

When L finally spoke, he refused to meet Light’s eyes. “Right. You’re right, Mello, of course.”

 _Huh?_ The brunet’s mouth dropped open, startled. He strode forward indignantly. “Once and for all, L, it was Beyond Birthday-”

“Shut your fucking mouth.” Mello hissed, his hands in hard fists that Light couldn’t help but flinch from. “Not another word. Don’t think for one second that you’re part of the team again. You can come with us, but only if you ask really, _really_ nicely.” He smirked, mocking. “Understood?”

He was absolutely dumbfounded, words dying on his tongue. Mello rolled his eyes. “Fuck this. Come on, I saw Misa and the rescue team to the south.” He turned on his heel and jogged off without a second glance.

His heart was pounding too loud in his chest and everything was caving in. _He had convinced L._ That look in L’s eyes, it had been horror and sadness, it had been realisation. He had wanted to kiss him, he _loved_ him. He was the man in his dream, the same one. His instincts…his instincts couldn’t be wrong too.

Everything was going wrong. His life, his memory, his instincts, they were taking it all away. He had so little left. The wound on his head throbbed and he felt sick.

He felt L’s hand on his shoulder. “Come, Raito-kun.”

What did this mean? What was going on, why was everything in the world twisted on its head? The carpet just kept being yanked out from underneath him. Everybody around him betrayed him, brought him close onto to stab him in the back.

“Raito-kun, come on. This is a warzone. We must hurry.” L’s hand slipped into his, and he suddenly just couldn’t take it anymore. He wrenched his hand away, backing up until he stumbled over a rock.

“I didn’t betray you. I never betrayed you.”

L pursed his lips, holding out his hand. “I know. I know, Raito-kun.”

Light shook his head. “I don’t deserve to keep getting punished for it. I don’t deserve any of this.”

“I understand, I believe you-”

Light squeezed his eyes shut. “Shut up. Shut up, you…you bastard, you don’t trust me. After all I’ve done for you, after all the sacrifices, you still don’t believe in me.”

L bit his lip. “Look, I promise I’ll explain later, when we’re out of danger-”

His voice cracked and he couldn’t hate himself any more than he did right now. “Fuck you. Fuck you, I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve any of this, this isn’t fair!”

L stood there, a pale statue, watching him with those perceptive eyes. “Life isn’t fair, Raito. It isn’t fair to any of us.”

Incredulity. He was absolutely baffled. His mouth trembled as he spoke. “Do you or do you not believe me?”

L sighed. “It’s more complicated than that. I believe your intentions are sound, but your memories-”

“My intentions. Are. Sound.” His eyes narrowed and jaw tightened. “So you still think I betrayed you, but with the right intentions.”

“ _No_ , Raito-kun. You misunderstand. I’ll explain it to you later, okay? I have a theory, but this is not our priority right now-”

He dipped his head. He felt sick, exhausted, _done_. L’s eyes watched him, picking him apart, but refusing to see him as more than just a tentative ally. How could he do this to someone he claimed to love? The nausea choked him, he wanted to keel over, he wanted to punch someone.

He shook his head. “Go ahead without me. I’ll make my own way.”

“W-what?” L blinked his huge eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, Raito. Watari must have arranged-”

“I don’t care.” His words were stiff, blank. He turned on his heel and started walking away. “I will not let myself fall so low as to beg you to let me come with you.”

“Listen, Raito…”

“No.” He was almost proud of himself. Almost. “No, I won’t do this anymore. I have my dignity.” _I am Yagami Raito, I don’t let myself be controlled by people like you._ “Goodbye, L.”

He felt L grab his arm from behind. “No! Raito, you idiot, it’s dangerous! You are coming-”

Light’s knuckles cracked across his face in a way that felt comfortingly familiar. L fell over onto the ground, blindsided.

“ _Goodbye_ , L.” Light said firmly, and he broke into a sprint.

He didn’t know what he was expecting as he ran away from the man who had been his lover. Perhaps he had wanted him to come after him, but as L said, this was a warzone, even if the battle was somewhere else. He had heard gunshots. This was no place to be chasing after your lover, so Light wasn’t worried about that at all. L was just too practical.

He wasn’t sure where to go from here. L was right, after this stunt by what looked like all the anarchists in Shingata, the army would be deployed in the state and it would be impossible to hide for long unless he was an actual anarchist and involved in the backup plan.

Going with L would have been safe, it would have been the best way…but he was done. He was done. He would go out into the street and make his own fortune, and if he died he died.

He had just been about to find a way out of the prison yard when he heard someone thudding towards him from behind. His heart thudded furiously in his chest, his stomach twisting into a knot. _No, L didn’t care enough to come after him. He was on his own. He had to stop expecting anything…_

He had only turned around to glance behind him when a hand clapped over his mouth and dragged him back tripping over rocks towards the main prison building.

Light screamed, stumbling over his own feet as he was dragged towards the carcass of the bombed prison tower. He jabbed his elbow into the assaulter’s stomach and shrieked under the palm, managing to weaken the man’s hold on him for a brief second until he felt the cold metal against the skin of his temple.

There was a gun to his head.

His stomach dropped, the blood draining from his face as a hushed voice whispered in his ear. “Quiet, Raito, love. Not another sound.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah finally my drive to write appeared again! I'm so glad I'm getting back to normal <3
> 
> Encouragement helps! Review and comment! :D


	35. Catharsis

Mikami Teru chuckled ironically as he tied the knot of the gag behind Light’s head.

“Whatever I do, I end up looking like the bad guy, don’t I?”

Light didn’t respond, of course, apart from shooting him the trademark hateful glare he had been wearing ever since the doctor had found him alone and so easily plucked, as he was presumably scouting for a way for his anarchist friends to escape the rebellion-strewn battleground unseen. Mikami was on full guard, the anarchists could be anywhere, spying on them and readying their weapons for an ambush. Who knew, with those savages.

“No matter what I do, you take it wrong.” Mikami muttered, checking on the handcuffs he has used to fasten Light’s wrists behind his back. He had to make sure they weren’t loose, he knew now how far Light would go just to get away from him. “No matter what I do. And all because of those two or three punishments I gave you right in the beginning.” He tugged on the brunet’s wrists, the handcuff clinked and Light let out a muffled sound. It didn’t budge, it was tight enough.

“Don’t you realise I had to do it? If I hadn’t done it, they would have questioned me, questioned my competence as a mate. You were disobeying me, disrespecting me.” He put his fingers under Light’s chin and lifted his head up, meeting his caramel brown eyes. He wished he could take the gag off for just a minute. He had to have understood… “I was forced to do it. I was forced by people like your father. You would know if you were in my position.”

All he saw in those eyes was hatred, complete unjustified hatred.

Mikami gritted his teeth together. Goddamn it, couldn’t he see past his narrow views? Yes, he had been harsh, but it was expected of him! He couldn’t keep treating Light like a china doll!

He grabbed his arm. “You could stand to be a little less biased against me, you little brat.” Striding forward, yanking the boy up to his feet and dragging him along the corridors of the evacuated area of the police headquarters.

Light stumbled beside him as Mikami loped forward purposefully towards the parking lot. It was lucky they had parked in a relatively shady location because now he could likely get Light in without anyone noticing.

 _Boom_. Another thundering noise and the ground shook, the walls around them trembling. The doctor gritted his teeth again, frustrated. How many more bombs were there? Why did they have to go for overkill? They had made their point, the police was busy fighting them this very moment. What was their plan anyway? They had no chance of survival. Unless they ran...

Fuck. What if an anarchist had stolen his car? It was a very expensive car too, they would surely be attracted to it! Petty criminals, to think the great nation of Shingata was once ruined by these idiots.

Just as he was scanning the corridors to find the best way out, he felt something near-crush his toes. He cried out, pulling his foot away from the object. The object, which was Light’s heel. Before he had the time to collect his thoughts and protest, the bastard had slipped out of his grasp, dashing away as fast as he could back in the direction they had come from.

With a snarl of pure frustration, Mikami pulled his long black coat up as he shook his head and sprinted after the teenager. The two of them ran down the corridors of the dusty grey building, the doctor letting out an angry wail as he threw himself at the brunet and knocked him down into the dust. Light shrieked behind the gag, squirming desperately underneath him.

Mikami grabbed a fistful of his hair. “How dare you.” He slammed him down into the ground, eliciting a pained groan. “How dare you run from me, Yagami Raito? Your mate? The man you are to get married to?”

Light had the audacity to snort.

He slapped him across the face. “You keep running away again and again, but you keep forgetting that I don’t stop looking for you. I have never given up on you, you beastly creature. You try to take me for granted but I will not let that happen. I will make sure you are an equal member of this relationship from now on, you mark my words. I will no longer keep worshipping you.” With that, he heaved Raito onto his feet and attempted to continue their journey to the parking lot...but the brunet didn’t budge.

He had planted his heels into the ground, refusing to move an inch.

“Raito.” Absolute fury was spurring him, turning his voice low and dangerous. “Are you really going to keep fighting me?” He raised his hand and backhanded him hard, his engagement ring catching his cheek. The brunet drew in a sharp breath, the corner of his lip leaking a thin stem of blood. “Get it in your head, you moron. You are coming with me. You are marrying me. You are not going to run away with those terrorists into the sunset, you will stay in my house and be my mate, and we will be happy. Do. You. Understand?”

Light’s eyes were unsympathetic and resolute, only making him feel more and more angry. Mikami felt his rage leak into his bones.

The teenager muttered something inaudible behind the gag, and the doctor finally lashed out. With one smooth movement, he lifted his foot and smashed it down on the boy’s delicate toes. Light yelped, staring as Mikami tightened his fist and punched him in the side, making him topple over and fall, hitting his head on the ground.

Light’s breaths were shallow and he looked up at Mikami with wide, horrified eyes. _Hadn’t he expected this?_ The doctor aimed a sharp kick at the brunet’s stomach and knocked the wind out of him.

“Is that better, Light? Hmm? Do you like being treated like this?” He kicked him again and heard a terrified smothered wail. A hysterical grin grew on his face. “You like this, don’t you? You like being mistreated. Is it a kink, Raito? Do you enjoy it?”

Raito shook his head frantically, twisting away from Mikami’s leg as he brought it swinging again and again. _Thud, thud, thud._ The doctor felt a bout of psychotic joy, Raito deserved this for running away from him, for abandoning him, for trying to leave him for someone else. The cheating bastard, he probably slept with one of those anarchists, that’s why he was so desperate to run away!

Light let out a howl of pain, wriggling so violently the gag slipped out of his mouth. “Stop! Mikami, please!” He cried out. “Please, please, I’ll go with you! _I’ll go with you!”_ But something had possessed the doctor, he just couldn’t stop kicking him. _Thud, thud, thud._ It felt cathartic, all of his frustrations against his troublesome, slippery, just-out-of-reach fiancé were finding an outlet and the brunet’s screams of pain were just as satisfying.

“Do you know what I’ll do to you, Yagami Raito?” He asked finally, rolling him onto his back with his foot. He flinched slightly when he saw the sheet-pale pallor on Light’s face, but the exuberance of finally letting loose overwhelmed any sentiment. A grin snaked onto his face. “I will take you home and pump you full of tranquilizers. I will keep you sedated for as long as it takes, days if it must be, and when I can finally get you to my clinic, I will lobotomise you. Tear apart your prefrontal cortex. I will make it so you never run away again.”

It was all a lie, of course. He couldn’t bring himself to do that to his Raito, to lose the man he loved. He was saying this for the terror in Raito’s amber eyes, the twitching of his mouth as he tried to find the right words to convince Mikami to spare him. This was the master of diplomacy at work here, he knew exactly the right compromises and praises to insert to get his outcome. Mikami wanted him to do that to him, treat him like a diplomat, make him feel special. He wanted Raito to tell him how much he loved him, how he could never be apart from him.

Those words would be his victory. Light would convince himself to do as Mikami said. He would stay for fear, and love would grow in time.

Except...

“You try your best, Mikami Teru.”

When Light finally spoke, his voice was hard, mocking, nothing like the dulcet tones Mikami had been imagining. His lips curved into a sardonic smile, his eyes narrowed. “Lobotomise me all you want, but you’ll never be able to keep it a secret from people. People know me, don’t you remember? People like me better than you, Mikami, they can tell how evil you are. Like that ambassador at the party you'd hosted before any of this. They will notice that I am an empty shell. You’ll never be able to keep this surgery a secret.”

Fury coursed through him.

“Yagami Raito.” He looked at him, really looked at him. This slim, slender boy lying on the ground with his hands cuffed behind his back, daring to issue threats? “You really have no sense of self-preservation, do you?”

He had only just pulled up Raito by his collar when he heard an inhumane yell come from behind him. At first he had thought it was himself, what with his extreme aggression, but no. There was someone coming this way.

Light’s mouth dropped open as he looked over Mikami’s shoulder at the person coming towards him. He shook his head frantically, paling even further.

The doctor whipped around, seeing a blur of black and white whizzing towards him.

* * *

 

The black-haired man prowled the dark, lonely corridors of the prison he had been held in, his shoulders rolled back as he kept his gleaming eyes fixed in the shadows.

So they were trying to kill him, were they? Away from the public eye? No doubt Yagami Soichiro was behind this. Yagami Soichiro, and the man who had mutilated him in the first place, Mikami Teru.

All because of L, because L had kidnapped Mikami’s fiance, but for once he didn’t blame him. For once, he was glad L had gotten him into this, because after so, so long, after so many months of staying sane, BB felt deliciously unhinged, the end of a syringe gleaming in his hand like a dagger.

He had spared the policeman who had come to kill him, if only because he recognised him from L’s payroll. Of course, if he came across him now he would probably slaughter him like it was nothing. Right now, the smell of blood sang in his head and Beyond Birthday was ready to murder.

He heard a scream somewhere in the darkness, was it in his head?, and moved towards it, a smirk cutting across his grotesque, pockmarked cheeks.

Whew. It had been so long since he had had some fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make the climax one huge chapter, but wow it sure is long. It is so much fun though, I'm so excited!
> 
> Review and comment please!


	36. Successor

“Drink this.”

Something thin was stuck into his mouth, and lemon juice spurted in, soothingly cool against his parched throat.

“He has been dehydrated in prison. Seems he was also punched in the face pretty hard, considering the bruise.” A mature, deep voice. Very familiar, as if he had been interacting with this woman regularly for quite a while. And yet he couldn’t recognise it…

 “Ohh! That’s Raito-kun’s work! Misa-Misa is sure of it!” L sighed, sucking on the straw to fill his mouth with the lemon juice as Misa Amane squealed. “Raito-kun is here! Misa knows it! Tell us where he is, L-san!”

A grumbling to the left, which surely belonged to nobody but Mello. “He’s taken off. He’s smart enough to know we’re not going to let him spy on us like idiots.”

Misa’s squealing turned a bit more outraged. “Raito-kun isn’t spying on us! He’s just confused!”

“Shut up, Misa!” Mello snapped. “Goddamn you’re stupid! He’s a spy now, and he’s probably scurrying home with his tail between his legs because I didn’t fucking let him in without a fight. And good riddance too. We’ve always been better as just the Whammy’s Boys-”

_“Mello.”_

This was all Mello’s fault. If he hadn’t been so hot-headed and thoughtless, Light wouldn’t be gone. L would have had his Raito-kun back, the way he had wanted for so, so long.

This was Mello’s fault.

The blonde cocked his head, ice-blue eyes flashing. “What? It’s true. You can’t possibly still be defending him, he just ran away again! That’s proof that-”

L’s leg stuck out on its own accord, striking the boy in the face and sending him sprawling out into the sun from the back of the open van.

“You vain, attention-seeking idiot.” The words were soft as a whisper and rolled out from the depths of his throat. “You don’t know anything. You have never known anything.”

He looked at him with contempt as the boy struggled to sit up. “You are a pawn to me, Mihael Keehl, and you have no right to make decisions that are mine. If I had wanted to drive Raito-kun away, I would have done it myself.” _He had had no right to say those hurtful things to him. He had had no right to hurt him, nobody did._ “You are resourceful, but short-sighted. Practical, but impulsive. Smart, but not smart enough. You are not my successor, Keehl. You are given the opportunity to stick with us as Amane Misa does, through friendship and nothing more. This is final.”

L got to his feet, the ache in his heart feeling like something had been sucked out of him. “I will go look for Yagami Raito now. The only person worthy to succeed me.” He slipped past the teenager and stomped out into the open.

He made his way to the ruined building that had been the last place he had seen his first and only friend, his lover, his mate. His footsteps crackled against the dust as he jogged in that direction, keeping his hood over his head and his eyes straight on his goal, making sure not to run into any of the fighting, which was slowly proceeding in this area. Watari must have assumed they were out of here by now, so he was allowing the anarchists to retreat.

L knew he had to be more careful, because he wasn’t able to focus.

This wasn’t Mello’s fault, obviously.

If L had had the common sense remember that Light couldn’t implicitly trust him anymore, if he had just told him why he wasn’t contradicting Mello (he would have taken hours to convince, hours they didn’t have), if he hadn’t betrayed his Raito in the first place, none of this would have happened.

It was nobody’s fault but his own.

He wasn’t going to let this go. He would fix this. He wouldn’t set a foot on escape until he had his arm around Raito’s waist. Just like he’d promised.

* * *

“Noooooooo!”

L was going to kill him. Matsuda Touta was a running corpse right now, a double agent caught from both sides. He couldn’t go back to the police force after doing the things he had done. He had just let Beyond Birthday escape. He was doomed!

He was screaming at the top of his lungs in a keening war cry (in his mind) as he followed Beyond’s shadow, his gun drawn and aimed in front of him. He was sure he would be caught by the police soon enough, there were swarms of them coming this way. He had to get out of here before then!

The only way he could survive was if he shot Beyond Birthday. If he didn’t, his head might literally be stuck on a pike, whether it be L’s or Yagami Soichiro’s (goddamn it how did he get himself into this mess?).

He hoped Raito was okay. No, actually he was sure he was okay. Raito would have executed his part of the plan perfectly, he was the golden boy after all. It was Matsuda who messed everything up, only Matsuda! Why was he born this way? Why couldn’t _he_ be Raito?

He thudded out of the narrow shadowy corridor into dusty light, and immediately noticed a fluff of black hair enter through a sunlit doorway.

Matsuda’s face split into a maniacal grin. “Got you now, Beyond!” He aimed and fired.

And since he wasn’t Raito, he also missed.

The figure squeaked and dived behind a pillar, the pale face with wild black hair sticking out to fire his own handgun at him. Matsuda ducked and rolled the way Aizawa had once showed him and fired again, making the face disappear.

“Come on, Beyond! Don’t make this harder than it has to be!” Matsuda felt his breathing grow rapid as he tried on bravado. “You know I’ll make your death painless!”

 _“Beyond?”_ The voice yelped. “Beyond has escaped too? Who the fuck would let him out?”

Matsuda grimaced. “No need to be so sarcastic. Please, B! I’ll even give you strawberry jam!”

The face popped out from behind the pillar again, its dark eyes narrowed and mouth set in pure irritation. “Matsuda?!”

The police officer sighed. “Stop teasing me and give up, BB. Please, if I don’t kill you, Raito-kun will tell L and I’ll be screwed from both ends-”

Beyond Birthday revealed himself and stomped towards the young man with malicious intent painted all over his sharp L-like features. Matsuda raised his pistol with shaking hands, his eyes widening. “Stop! Oi! I’ll shoot! Stay away! Get off!” He scrambled back on his elbows, in panic until BB’s leg kicked up and slammed into his wrist, knocking the gun out of his hands.

“Matsuda, you idiot.” He hissed, and the police officer blinked.

Pieces began to fit together in his head. L being in this very building, escaping with Raito-kun. This dude calling him an idiot, attacking him with capoeira, not even reacting to the words ‘strawberry jam’.

Right. Beyond’s shadow had turned _right_.

Matsuda slapped his forehead and jumped to his feet. “This way!” He dived back into the corridor at top speed, barely even looking where he was going in an effort to escape his demise at the hands of L.

And, of course, since he wasn’t looking, he smashed into the chest of the wiry man with goggles over his eyes and an anarchist bandanna tied around ruffled red hair.

* * *

For someone in a laughably horrible situation, Yagami Raito was feeling very...calm.

Maybe it was because his chances of survival had reached absolute rock-bottom now. Even in Mikami’s clutches he would have lived, if as a mindless vegetable. But now, in the hands of someone known to have chopped up limbs for fun, there was no way he was going to survive.

The murderer cackled like a lunatic, striding around, his classic butcher’s knife in hand. Light was still handcuffed, as his bruises constantly reminded him, and the gag was stuffed in his mouth again. Which was no surprise, considering how it had ended the last time they had faced off.

“Well, well, well. Aren’t you going to tap on the floor the right amount of times? Didn’t you tell me that would activate the chip in my brain just like your voice commands?” He cackled again and stuck his face right in front of his, smirking. “Or was that a bluff?”

Light kept his eyes fixed on the scarlet gaze of the murderer, bracing himself for the pain that was sure to follow, wishing and wishing his mouth was free so that he could show this shitstain of a human being what true pain felt like. He would dial the chip to its maximum, he would destroy his synapses. Oh, if only he got this gag off, he would break him down piece by piece.

Right beside him was Mikami, unconscious and propped up against the wall, knocked out by one blow of the serial killer’s knife’s handle to his temple. Light took a full second to wonder why Beyond hadn’t just flipped the knife and stabbed him through the face, but there was no point dwelling on that. At least his so-called fiancé was unconscious and couldn’t make their situation worse.

Maybe BB could tell how much he hated him, because he had sat them close enough to each other for Light to smell the man’s cologne.

“What are you doing here, Yagami? Why aren’t you with L, hm? Did you finally manage to escape?” BB snickered. “Did they arrest you too? What’s with the handcuffs?”

Light rolled his eyes, his wrists straining against said cuffs. What was with Beyond and L asking questions when he obviously couldn’t respond? At least Mikami made sense. In fact, Mikami made a lot more sense than any of these people, even if his whole philosophy was wrong.

Light spared a quick glance at the Shingatese man. Knocked out cold, pale as plaster and yet…there was a suspicious twitch to his eyebrows, as if he was unable to suppress his displeasure.

He looked back at the serial killer again before B could absorb his distraction.

BB bubbled with laughter. “We’re back to where we started, Yagami! And guess what, this time, you have an actual purpose. I have your _fiancé_. I’m going to use you, this time, not your sister. I’m going to hold you hostage until Mikami Teru operates the shit out of my chip, and then I’m going to kill you _both! Painfully!”_ He sniggered. “This is so awesome! I win! Beyond Birthday _wins!”_ In a euphoric bout, BB randomly did a cartwheel, whooping with joy.

Light felt his heart sink. Fucking hell. After all of this torture, he was going to be used as a bargaining chip to utilise Mikami. When were people going to fucking respect _him?_ He was talented, damn it!

He glared at the maniacal killer, who was now jumping around in circles, miming stabbing motions. The downfall of Yagami Raito was going to be by this _joke_. He wished he had been killed by Mikami, at least Mikami was respectable.

In the middle of his fog of bitter thoughts, he felt fingers touch the base of his wrist.

The brunet flinched, glimpsing over at Mikami who was still seemingly passed out. But the hand encircled his wrist, almost as if to reassure him, before pressing something smooth and metal into his palm.

Light’s eyes widened. A key. _The key to his handcuffs_. He looked at his fiancé again, and the black-haired man opened his eyes a crack, smiling ever so slightly.

He couldn’t help the flurry of warmth that passed through him, a residue of the love he had had for the man he’d lived with for seven months before L Lawliet had dragged him from his home. They were a team again. They were going to work together. They would defeat Beyond Birthday together.

The brunet dipped his head, pulling his wrists as far apart as they could go for the other man to be able to get to the lock more easily. He kept a careful eye on BB, watching as the man dialled a number on a phone he had likely nicked from some police officer, probably looking to find a good way to sneak out of the prison unnoticed. After all, he was going to have to cart two people with him.

The handcuffs shuddered as Mikami finally managed to unlock them and the brunet pulled his wrist out of it, waiting for an opportunity. He exchanged a glance with his fiancé, who nodded once, sharply. _Ready when you are._

Light looked back at their enemy, the man who was now chattering away in a language he didn’t know with the man on the other end of the phone, barely bothering to look at the weaklings he had subdued.

He was about to signal for Mikami straight away, _let this pompous fucker get what’s coming to him,_ when he heard a gunshot crackle, whizzing past Beyond’s shoulder.

Light looked past his still form at the men marching towards them and felt his face drain of colour.

Colourful bandanas and machine guns. Clothes that spoke of utter poverty that L and his team had never been able to convey.

The anarchists were here.

Which meant the police weren't far behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, I'm drowned in assignments, so this chapter may or may not be edited well (though I tried my best!). If there's any blatant mistakes I'll come back and correct :)
> 
> Also, I'm pretty sure the next chapter or the one after that is the true climax! I can't believe we're here already! I'm so excited to see how this story ends and I hope you guys love it!
> 
> Review and comment! :D


	37. Regret

The day everything had changed had been a particularly nice day. A sunny Wednesday morning, absolutely ordinary. Soichiro had slept in that morning, rushing to work to get there in time and leaving his lunch at home. He hadn’t worried. After all, Sachiko would definitely send it over with one of the kids.

The irony was, he had hoped it would be Raito. He loved talking to his son, catching up with him. He had never considered that the boy would come to the Shingatese Police Headquarters with a file inside his jacket.

Before that fateful day, Soichiro had been a man who had everything. A commoner from the middle-class flats of the Tawakoshi district, he had worked with every bone in his body to lift himself from the masses, to rise in a society more preoccupied with smashing out opposition than ensuring a good life for its citizens. Everything he had gotten, he had gotten it with sheer grit.

He had applied for the Sectioning by pure chance, he had seen a flier encouraging those with stable jobs to apply and he had been picked out from a pool of seven thousand applicants for the beautiful Sachiko Yotsuba, he had had two lovely children who were both amazingly talented and hardworking. He had gotten his dream job, a police officer, and he slogged like a dog at it.

Back then, his only worry had been getting a promotion. If it had been a fair world, Soichiro Yagami would have risen in the ranks like a knife through butter with the amount of work he put in, but this was Shingata under the plague of anarchists, and the police ranks were under as much competition as Olympic athletes would be.

Despite the long hours, despite the dozens of cases he had single-handedly solved, he had found himself stagnating, his pay raise as far out of reach as peacetime. And worse, with the state of the competition at that moment, if he ever stopped trying he would slip down the ladder until he bumped into the likes of Matsuda, forever filing papers and fetching coffee.

Soichiro Yagami was not Matsuda, he couldn’t let that happen. So he worked for hours and hours without reward, often taking cases home to ponder over them before bed.

He hadn’t known how perceptive and observant his son was until one day, he spotted young fourteen-year-old Yagami Raito rummaging through his workbag after lights out, taking it to the kitchen and picking through it for solid hours before coming to slip it right back as if nothing had happened.

Raito had always been a genius. Or, at least, extremely brilliant. Much more brilliant than Soichiro himself. Was it so wrong to use him?

After the day he had caught him in action progressing on a triple homicide they had been working on for months, he had given his son copies of his case files, shredding said copies after Raito gave his input at the end of the week.

And as it happened, at the end of the week they always caught the criminal. The kid wasn’t infallible, he didn’t always find the killer, but he knew what to look for. He would tell Soichiro to look at some aspects, and the killer would land on his lap.

His colleagues began to call it Soichiro’s Black Magic, how every case he was given would be closed so quickly his superiors didn’t have the time to blink. He began to slowly but surely rise in the ranks, replacing those sweaty pigs that rested in their chairs without lifting a finger to take some workload off their subordinates. By the end of the year, he was Chief of the Shingatese Police Agency, and it was all thanks to his son.

He didn’t know what he would have done if he didn’t have this arrangement. He would have been stuck, trapped in his position, Sisyphus and the rock. Luckily enough, his son was more than happy to help. He looked at his father with huge, shining amber eyes, as if he was God himself, the only person in the world he respected. He didn’t respect his mother, the sweet child, thinking she was wasting her time. But seeing his father work and achieve so much, it inspired him.

Unfortunately, if anyone found out that he was leaking confidential case details to a civilian and worse, allowing said civilian to consult and affect the proceedings of cases regularly, everything would have been destroyed.

As it was, of course.

He should have been more careful. He should have paid attention, he should never have taken his son’s compliance for granted. He didn’t know it was against the law, he didn’t know he shouldn’t bring the case file copy to the office. He should have been told. Soichiro should have told him.

Raito was the son who had taken after him. He was the one with the work ethic, with the boldness, the righteousness. He was a brilliant young man with a promising future and Soichiro had torn it all away from him in one fell swoop.

It has been five years since the day he had labelled his genius son a mate for the Sectioning, and Soichiro Yagami still has no greater regret in his life.

Soichiro thumped through the husk of the bombed Headquarters, holding the trigger of his pistol right as he fired at the cowardly anarchists fleeing through rooms he had wandered through so many times, each one ruined and reduced to dust.

Here was the cafeteria, with a giant hole in the side, the glass of the display cases shattered. There, the plaques that honoured fallen policemen, polished wood peppered with bullet marks. And there, the cubicles he had worked in when Raito had still been feeding him cases, ripped down and used as temporary shields as the anarchists moved further through the dark corridors.

Soichiro’s feet thudded against the ground as he followed them, relentlessly in pursuit. He couldn’t shoot in this low visibility, too many policemen had died in this mess already and he couldn’t be responsible for any more. Not to mention the civilians who could have come for various reasons.

Mikami had mentioned something about Raito wanting to visit his kidnappers in jail, needing the closure. He hoped with all his heart that that wasn’t today.

He saw a flicker of a shadow running down the corridor and he immediately raised his gun, at ready. He needed the flash of a coloured bandanna, anything to trigger him, any cause for suspicion.

Luckily enough, it was a policeman. Black-haired, with a diminutive stance, accompanied by a prison guard in their usual dark attire.

He lowered his gun. “Matsuda!”

Matsuda turned, as did a smaller, thinner shadow at his side, their sprint slowing as they looked at him. He raised his eyebrows, staring at the other man next to the idiot police officer. A shock of black hair, a gaunt, pale face and gigantic black eyes, his guard’s uniform covered in dust and scratches.

Soichiro relaxed. “Matsuda, it’s me. Yagami. Who is your companion?”

Matsuda seemed to be making up his mind to run, his eyes fixed on Soichiro’s pistol. _Typical. Of course he was going to be cowardly now, when bravery mattered the most._ “Y-Yagami-san!”

The guard at Matsuda’s side was silent, but his hand was tense on his gun. Soichiro felt vaguely annoyed with him, he was obviously inexperienced if he was so tense without a threat currently in sight. “Relax, forget it. Stick with me. I’ll help you find somewhere safe to hide.”

He jogged through the corridor without waiting for acknowledgement. He didn’t particularly care about either of them, but so many people had died. He wasn’t going to let Matsuda and his idiot friend join the pile of corpses.

They emerged into a bright, wide corridor. Chatter rang out as the anarchists regrouped in that room, sharing and checking ammo, unusually loud and chaotic. Soichiro hid behind a pillar, bracing himself for a shootout. He had to wait for backup before he shot, especially with such a big crowd, but he didn’t have his radio. He had to wait for his comrades to catch up by themselves. Luckily, the anarchists didn’t seem to be going anywhere at the moment.

Matsuda and his companion came up behind him, the guard looking like a fish out of water with those aggravating wide eyes. Soichiro almost groaned in exasperation.

“Oi. What’s your name?” He asked, a futile effort at some teamwork. With all the anarchists around in such heightened emotion, whooping and yelling, he had to work with what he had.

Except, the guard didn’t look at him, he didn’t even stop behind the pillar when Matsuda and Soichiro had. He sprinted out into the mess of anarchy in the room, elbowing past their rainbow coloured enemies as if it was nothing. The chief of police was stunned, glancing at Matsuda, who had turned sheet white.

“That's enough!” The guard yelled, reaching the middle of the pack. “You've done enough, put him down!” His voice was steely and rebuking, and everyone in the room chattered even louder.

The anarchists were holding a man struggling in their depths, pressing him to the floor gibbering and snarling, feral. He was black-haired, and from Soichiro’s position, he could see he had an uncanny resemblance to the guard himself.

“Enough! I don’t know how the fuck he got here, or anything really, but forget about him! We have bigger problems-” The guard’s voice cut itself off into a strangled gulp. “…oh. Raito-kun.”

The policeman blinked.

Raito-kun?

_Raito-kun?_

Soichiro looked around frantically for his son’s auburn hair. _The kidnappers._ This man, the guard, he must have been one of the kidnappers! He must have been undercover helping the anarchists!

“Matsuda. Cover me, we have to get them!” The chief of police barked, raising the muzzle of his gun and aiming before he felt the poke of a metal snout at his ribs. He glimpsed over and nearly dropped his weapon in disbelief.

Matsuda, tears pooling in his eyes, was pressing his handgun against Soichiro’s torso, his finger against the trigger. “Please…Yagami-san. I’m sorry. Put the gun down.”

“No!” Soichiro gaped. “We have to destroy the anarchists! You are a policeman of the Shingatese Agency, Matsuda!”

“Please, Yagami-san. Or I’ll have to shoot. You know I have no other way out.” His lip trembled.

Matsuda. He _knew_ Matsuda. He had a sick mother at home, he had been stuck pushing papers for ages, he was a funny, thoughtful and innocent young man. The guard being an undercover agent made sense. But Matsuda?

Soichiro looked into the younger man’s eyes and was sorely tempted to shoot anyway, if only it wasn’t for his son’s forceful, commanding tone rising from the middle of the anarchist pack.

“Stop. Listen to me.” He said, and everyone quietened down.

Soichiro could abruptly spot him in the crowd, that shock of red-brown hair, the slim, slender frame. He felt a bolt of pride in him, his brave, brave son, standing up to them all, seemingly defenceless. Of course, his presence made it harder for the chief since he couldn’t just let loose with the bullets now. He had to aim, and he couldn’t do that with Matsuda keeping a gun on him.

“You know, I was raised to believe that anarchy was wrong.” Light said, with clear intonation like he was reciting a poem. “There are thousands of nobles like me, who were conditioned into believing this to be the truth. So many nobles who would otherwise treat you as equals. We were all duped by the same people, and in my case, one man.”

There was a pregnant pause, and all of a sudden, Light was looking at him, pinning him in place with those fierce amber eyes.

 Soichiro blinked, and the surroundings melted away.

“Otou-san! You left your lunch behind at home, I’ve brought it for you.”

Young, starry-eyed Raito looking at him like he was a God was replaced by the cruel eyes that condemned him with the slightest of smirks, a slender finger raised to point right at him.

The anarchists whirled on their heels, their guns aimed, and he could see only malice, only traitors and hostility in a room where he had once served as one of the most respectable people in Shingata.

Soichiro didn’t accept it. He couldn’t. He had made several mistakes in his life, but his son, his son couldn’t be looking at him this way, he couldn’t betray him, betray Shingata, turn against them all! His son! The prodigy that took after him, the child he had named the light of his life, he couldn’t turn against him!

“Ryuuzaki is right. We have a bigger enemy in this room.”

“No! Raito!” He burst out, running towards him. Immediately, as if Raito was the king of the anarchists, every single gun in the room rose, pointing at him. He could see a thousand evil faces leering at him, knives and guns and bombs. He stopped in his tracks without even realising it.

“Stop this! This is beyond rebellion, this is _treason!”_ He yelled as his son, his sweet perfect son who shouldn’t have been looking at him that way. He was his father! He knew they weren’t on the best terms anymore, but he was still the father who had raised him.

“Treason is what you did to me, father.” Raito hissed. “What you did to my memories, to my brain.”

 _Fuck_. “Look.” Soichiro appealed. “I’ll make sure you get out of this without being implicated, Raito. I know you’ve been through a lot and you’re very confused. I’ll make sure you get out of trouble.”

His son had a gun in his hand, he realised. Soichiro’s father had had a celebration when he had gotten his first gun from the Agency, they had gone to a shooting range and practiced with it.

“Implicated?” Raito sneered, his eyes frosty and distant. “The only one implicated is you, Chief Yagami Soichiro of the Shingatese Police Agency.”

Every anarchist head perked up with interest. Guns cocked in earnest. A quiet, teasing tilt pulled up Light’s lips. “Yeah, you heard it right.” His eyes narrowed at Soichiro, condemning him. “Take him hostage. Use him for safe passage.”

“What?” Soichiro bellowed. “Raito! Raito how dare you say such things?! I am your father! _Your father!”_

To that, Raito marched forward, through the crowd of enemies to face him, his chin lifted. The chief noticed that his son was exactly his height now, his eyes burning through his at eye level. When had he grown from that slight, small fourteen year old who had snuck his files out of his briefcase?

“You were my father when you let me go under the knife, when you mutilated me without my consent. When you ruined my life.”

“They will kill me, Raito!” Soichiro appealed desperately. “When they’re done, they’ll kill me!”

“No, they won’t.” His voice was calm and incredibly hostile. “When they’re done, they’ll take you abroad to face the fire for your crimes against humanity.”

Fear stabbed through him. “No!” He backed away, right into Matsuda, who was still holding his pistol up with tears streaming down his cheeks. “Raito, you will not speak to me this way!” He so wished he could hit him.

They would kill him, there was no doubt in his mind. But worse, they would destroy his name first.

One last ditch effort, the gun in his hands. He would shoot himself through the head, and they would be powerless. They would have no bargaining chip, and his name would remain one of the most prestigious noble families the world has ever seen.

Soichiro raised the gun, and the guard, the one who had instigated this mess in the first place, the man with the wild black hair screamed out. “You will not threaten him!” And there was a piercing pain through his shoulder.

Blood sprayed out, spotting Light’s black shirt and leaving a trail across his face. The teenager barely blinked.

The chief was left to one inhuman bellow as he raised his gun anyway, muscles straining around the wound as he pressed the barrel against his temple. “Kill me or I’ll kill myself!” He shouted as he squeezed the trigger.

He wasn’t quick enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was incredibly hard to write. I really hope I'm doing you guys and this story justice.
> 
> Please review and comment! I'd love the encouragement! :D


	38. Sea Salt

So many bruises.

Light winced as he gauged himself, his hands gently running down his body and marking all the sore areas. His head was obviously wounded when the bomb had blast and brought down their tower, and then there were the countless marks on his arms from the several sets of handcuffs, the hands grabbing at him, the scars at the base of his palms which were finally starting to heal. He hadn’t scratched them for a while now.

His abdomen was hopelessly bruised from Mikami’s attack on him. It hurt to even breathe, now that his adrenaline rush was finally fading. He hadn’t actually seen the result of the savagery on his torso, but it definitely wasn’t going to look pretty.

Thinking of Mikami, Light knew he should probably check on him. After all, he was the only noble in this place, and the anarchists hated him. L especially, it wouldn’t be right to leave him in L’s hands for this long.

The brunet got to his knees, crawling through the lines of sleeping anarchists to make it to the door. The anarchists freaked him out. He wasn’t raised to believe terrorism was a good thing, and he most definitely didn’t believe it now. Allying with terrorists had never been one of the items on his bucket list.

And he wouldn’t have, if it hadn’t been for Rem. Rem, the captain of the anarchists, had managed to acquire a ship, a segment of an escape plan she had been plotting for years. It was lucky Watari’s plan happened when it did, any time before she wouldn’t have been ready to take the risk but at this very moment with the boat ready to whisk them off to safety, she was more than happy to give the Shingatese a final kick in the balls by blowing up the police headquarters.

It was nice of her to give them a little trip to China free of cost. From there, they were free to seek asylum however they wanted to. The plan was to travel to England, to Whammy’s House, where L had grown up, where he wanted Light to live with him.

The only downside to this whole arrangement was that he wouldn’t be able to communicate with anyone back in Shingata for at least a month. He wanted to talk to Sayu, to his mother. He wanted to tell them before they heard from someone else. He needed to, he couldn’t leave them after…after his father…

He climbed down the stairs two at a time, careful not to go too jerkily or he’d feel dizzy. The makeshift dungeon was the room that used to be the freezer, adjoining the kitchen all the way in the belly of the ship protected by two double doors.

He plodded into the empty kitchen, recently raided for dinner time by the hungry anarchists, finding the freezer door and trotting to it. He put his hand on the handle of the door and froze still. There were voices inside, a heated argument muffled by the thick steel of the door. Fuck, if they were this loud they would probably wake the anarchists on the other side of the ship if he opened the door.

“Ugh.” He muttered. “L, for god’s sake.”

Light knocked once, loudly, before turning the handle and inching the door open, relieved that they stopped shouting when he did.

The room inside was dark and small, its walls smooth, clean metal, smelling vaguely of fresh greens. Cans and boxes took up a vast majority of the area, vegetables overflowing out of the top of some of them as if Rem had raided a grocery store with the express purpose of warding away scurvy (which might have actually been the case).

And right smack-dab in the middle of Rem’s harvest was a certain Shingatese noble with straight black hair, his glasses sporting a hairline crack as he glared up at the man guarding him. They had stolen most of his noble possessions, his watch, his ring and most devastatingly his sturdy jacket, leaving his skin flushed as he tried to battle the cold of the freezer in a button-down shirt.

L seemed to be enjoying Mikami’s discomfort. He wore the kind of sadistic triumph in his eyes that Light had never had the fortune of witnessing before (or maybe he had, he could never be sure), the kind of expression he would have associated with BB more than L. But…Light couldn’t help but smile a little, seeing it.

“L, why are you here?” Light crossed his arms, suppressing the smile as the detective cocked his head, large black eyes trailing up to look at him.

“Rem wants me to pull my weight around here.” Deadpan, but he could sense the apprehension he was feeling. He was afraid of Light, wasn’t he? After all the betrayals, he was afraid of what he thought.

Light smirked smugly at the revelation. He sure did like being feared. “Why? Did you raid the sugar again?”

“Again? I’ve only raided it once.”

“It’s only been two days at sea, and you’ve already used up half the store.”

“I have not! They don’t even have any desserts, just plain sugar. I’m not a barbarian, Raito-kun, I only took enough for my coffee!”

Light laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure that was completely practical for a refugee ship out in the middle of the sea, giving you your nine lumps of sugar in every cup.”

The detective blushed pink, biting his thumbnail. “Shut up, Raito-kun. I’m an investment, I’ll send them supplies and money once we get to England.”

“We, huh?” The teenager snickered. “Who says I’m going with you?”

The pink colouring his cheeks turned a deep red as the man quickly glanced up at him, his dark eyes startled. He bit his nail hurriedly and looked down at the floor. “O-of course. Forgive me, I-”

“ _No_ , Ryuuzaki.” Light loped over to him, touching his elbow. “You’re supposed to be snarky back.”

The dark-haired man gave him a quizzical look. “Snarky?”

“You know. Teasing. I’m joking with you. You’re supposed to follow my lead.”

“Oh, r-right. Teasing. Haha.” L’s laugh was an obviously faked huff of air. Light rolled his eyes, wanting to chew him out on it but not really knowing what to say. Luckily, he didn’t have to because it was right at that moment that Mikami reached his breaking point.

“Raito, will you cut that out? For god’s sake, I am your fiancé and I’m in this room with you. If you have to cheat on me, at least do it somewhere else.”

The flush returned to L’s cheeks with a vengeance. “Oh, you will regret using that tone with him, Mikami-”

“Ryuuzaki, chill.” Light placed his hand on the detective’s arm. “And I _was_ your fiancé, Mikami. I thought it’s obvious I’m not anymore.”

“You’re still wearing my ring!” Mikami said desperately. “You can say whatever you want, but I notice these things, Raito. You’re acting out because of how I treated you, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry about what happened to your memories, what I did before Beyond Birthday caught us, I’m even sorry about your father-”

Light squeezed his eyes shut, turning the slim ring round and round on his finger. “Let’s not talk about him, please. I’m…I’m keeping your ring because it reminds me of Shingata, not because it reminds me of you. I’ll never get to return here, and I don’t have any other souvenirs. Besides, I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to tell you…I agreed to Rem’s condition.”

Mikami frowned. “I don’t know what it is.”

“Oh. Right. Well, Rem approached Ryuuzaki and asked him to hand you over to her as her prisoner as compensation for taking us where we need to go. She wants to free the anarchist prisoners in Shingata and she needs the help of a neurosurgeon to take the chips out of their brain. Ryuuzaki left it to me, and I agreed.”

As expected, his ex-fiancé blinked, his face staying blank for a few seconds before it twisted with disgust. “Never. I won’t cooperate, not in a million years.”

“Well, then they’ll kill you and find someone else. It’s your choice, really. I just wanted to tell you myself.” The teenager sighed, feeling almost psychopathically detached. “I’m sorry it’s come to this. You were really good to me for the seven months we had together, and I wish it hadn’t been based on a lie.”

“It wasn’t based on a lie-!” Mikami spluttered, but Light wasn’t done.

He twirled the ring on his finger. “Maybe I really am keeping the ring to remember you, because I’m never going to see you again. I am not your fiancé anymore.”

“Raito-!”

“You’ve tried to ruin me. You are the one person who has attempted to destroy me completely…but still, I hope you don’t die.” And with that, he turned on his heel, starting to walk away. “Goodbye, Teru.”

“Raito, don’t-! I love you, I’ll treat you better from now! Please, help me! Help me, Raito!”

Again, with the cries for help. Just like his father. Why didn’t his victories feel like victories? Why was he so detached? Raito sighed, walking out of the belly of the ship without another word, Mikami’s cries echoing through the halls, wavering and thin, hopefully thin enough not to wake any more anarchists than he had to.

* * *

The horizon was a faint black line in the thick darkness, the salt-sprinkled sky gleaming the way it only did from the sea. Light leaned against the railing, smelling the salty breeze and relishing in the silence.

He felt L’s presence beside him without really feeling it, the comforting pressure of a hand over his. “Alright?”

“I’m fine, L.” He looked at him, smiling faintly. “Is he losing it?”

“Of course, but it’s Mikami Teru we’re talking about. He’s always losing it. He’s hysterical. And completely deserving of any punishment you give him. If you tell me to, I can make him pay for everything he’s done to you.”

Light chuckled. “Wow, what a badass boyfriend I have, beating up my enemies for me.” He squeezed L’s hand, feeling the older man tremble. “No, I don’t need anything. He’s going to be punished enough. Besides…I don’t care enough about him to need you to exert yourself for me.”

“It wouldn’t be exerting myself, Raito-kun. It would be my pleasure.” He said softly. “Anything you want. Anything to…make up for all the things I’ve done wrong.”

“Anything, huh?” The brunet cocked his head. “Absolutely anything?”

“Absolutely anything. Whatever you want me to do, without question. I owe you everything, Yagami Raito, I’d be glad to risk anything for you.”

“Well…” Light smiled, looking down at the sea, hearing the waves crashing against the ship as they sailed. “There is one thing I want.”

“What? Don’t be shy, I’ll do anything for you.”

Light bit his lip, his hair falling over his eyes. “I want to take turns being L. L the detective, I mean. When we get to Whammy’s House, I want to be a detective too.”

“No.”

Light glanced up immediately at the rejection, shocked. “Wha…? But you said…”

“No, I won’t let you be L.” The detective smirked. “Kira doesn’t deserve to attach all his achievements to my name, he’s brilliant enough to become the world’s greatest detective all by himself. With my help and resources, of course.”

Light grinned. “Fuck you, I don’t need your help. I’m ten times the detective you are. Who found Beyond, the time he’d escaped?”

L’s eyebrows rose. “Who found you, despite all the security around Nobleman’s County? Don’t underestimate me just because I let you win once.”

“Let me win?” Light spluttered. “You did not let me win! I found him with a trick I taught you, I worked all night on that-”

“Oh yeah? Well I worked all night for months of nights, so there! I worked so hard your sleep cycle could probably never handle it without a bucket of coffee-”

“Buckets of coffee, yeah sure.” The teenager scoffed. “Coming from the one who can’t spend a day without a candy bar.”

“What is your problem with my sugar intake? It’s absolutely normal-!”

“No it is not! In what world is it normal?!” Light blinked, and suddenly noticed how close they were standing. His cheeks burned. “Um…”

“Perhaps it’s not normal in your world, but it’s normal in mine.” The detective whispered, and his eyes were darker than the sea, starlight sparkling within them. Light let himself smile, touching L’s cheek with the tips of his fingers.

He had forgiven him. He knew he had, quite a while ago. But standing here, with the smell of salt ripe in the air and the world so dim around them that he had to squint to make out L’s pale skin in the darkness.

“I don’t think you’re normal in your world either.” He whispered, and leaned down to kiss him.

And in that moment, they were standing in Whammy’s House. They were together, no nobles or fiancé’s, amnesia or serial killers between them. They were in the porch and holding hands and together, and the crashing of the waves was drowning out anything that could have interrupted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, sorry for the late update. I've had exams and a very very busy month, ugh.
> 
> Wow, it's almost the end of a really long journey.
> 
> I'm so glad you guys have stuck around for this story, and I'm so happy you've loved it. The epilogue is the next chapter.
> 
> Review me, guys! And thank you so much for the support! :D love you guys!
> 
> (On a side note, how would you guys view a sequel? With Whammy's House?)


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